Disclaimer: The characyers of "Scarecrow and Mrs. King are copyrighted to Warner Brothers and Shoot the Moon Productions. I retain the rights to the plot. This story is meant for entertainment purposes only. No infringement is intended.

Title: Mixed Emotions

Author: Lanie Sparks.

Date: 3/9/99

Rating: PG

Synopsis: Amanda says good-bye to Dean once and for all. Takes place right after the first season episode. "I Am Not Now, Nor Have I Ever Been, A Spy."

Amanda King stood outside her front door with her hand on the doorknob hesitantly. She wasn't yet ready to go inside. She wasn't prepared to answer her mother's questions about where she'd been or who she'd been with. She'd just remembered everything that had transpired in the past three days and there was no way she could explain all of that to her mother. She couldn't just come out and say she was working with spies and that's why she was kidnapped and ended up wrecking a stolen car. Oh well, she thought, Might as well get this over with. She turned the knob and went inside. The scene that faced her was even worse than she'd imagined, for not only was her mother there, but so was Dean. She groaned inwardly. Why does Dean have to be here? Both her mother and her boyfriend jumped up when they saw her.

"Oh, Honey." Dean gushed as he swept her into his arms. "I was so worried about you. Are you okay?" He let her go to look her in the eyes. She turned her face away from his. He was the last person on earth she wanted to see right now.

"Aren't you supposed to be at work, Dean?" she snapped uncharacteristically. She was in no mood to be coddled.

"So, you remember who I am now?" he questioned suspiciously. "Your mother said you had amnesia."

"I did, but I'm cured now. I started remembering things while I was sitting here by myself, so I thought if I went for a walk...and you know, took in all the sights of the neighborhood...and enjoyed the fresh air, it would help me even more. The doctor did say that familiar things would help, you know," she rambled, trying to get out of answering his questions.

"But why didn't you at least leave a note?" Dotty asked, rather miffed. "I was worried sick."

"I didn't think about it, Mother. You know, amnesia does funny things to your mind." Amanda tried to explain. She decided to change the subject. "So, Dean, you never did tell me what you're doing here."

He was silent for a moment. He was seeing a new side of Amanda and he didn't like it at all. He was trying to be patient with her, but it just seemed too convenient that she suddenly got her memory back after she missed her date with his mother. "Well, my mother called me, absolutely livid over you missing your lunch date with her. I called your mother and she told me what had happened to you and I just had to come right over. I was so worried about you, Sweetheart." He slipped his arms around her waist. She pulled away from him. "What's the matter, Amanda?" he asked in confusion. He thought she'd be happy to see him. Maybe this whole amnesia thing had just been avoid meeting his mother. But why on earth wouldn't she want to meet his mother? After all, he'd spent countless hours getting to know Dotty. He'd asked her to marry him. He only felt it was fitting that she meet his family as well.

"I'm just not feeling very well." That was the truth. She had felt sick as soon as she saw Dean standing there and realized she'd have to explain things not only to her mother, but to him as well. "I'm tired. I've been through quite an ordeal."

Dean grimaced. He felt like a heel. All he'd been thinking about was himself. He didn't think about how hard this had been on her. "I'm sorry. I just wasn't thinking," he apologized, trying to be accommodating. "How about if I take you out for a nice dinner to get your mind off things?" He smiled, hoping that would get a better response out of her.

"Well, Mother's making me a pot roast tonight." She looked at her mother pleadingly.

"Yes, I am." Dotty confirmed, trying to help Amanda. She could tell her daughter was uncomfortable, but didn't really understand why she didn't want to see her boyfriend. Amanda breathed a sigh of relief. The last thing she wanted was Dean putting pressure on her again after the things she'd been through.

"Well, how about tomorrow night then? We do have a lot to talk about," he reminded her meaningfully as he took her hand in his.

Amanda groaned inwardly again. She knew what he had on his mind. "Yes, we do have a lot to talk about," Amanda agreed as she pulled her hands out of his grasp. "So, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Is that a subtle hint that you want me to leave?" He couldn't help sounding a little irritated, but was trying not to let it show. After all, he'd taken time off from work to come see her and this was the response he got?

Now it was Amanda's turn to get irritated. Why wouldn't he just take the hint and leave? "Well, I'm really sleepy. I feel like I need a nap." What the hell did it take to get through to him that she wanted to be left alone? "Besides after that car wreck, my nerves are still shot."

"Okay, Sweetheart, I understand." He kissed her quickly and left.

"See, Darling?" Her mother crowed triumphantly once he was gone. "That is the kind of man you need in your life. He's so patient and understanding."

"Yes, he is." Amanda sighed unhappily, rolling her eyes.

"And boring, I know, "Dotty added.

"I didn't say that."

"You didn't have to, Dear. I've known you for 33 years, Amanda, and I can tell whether something sparks your interest or not. And it seems to me that there aren't any sparks between you and Dean of any kind."

Amanda nodded. "I know that I should be grateful that that I have a great guy like that. I mean how many men are there that would be interested in a woman who's already got two kids? Did I tell you that he asked me to marry him?"

Dotty looked at her, wide-eyed. "No, you didn't." She was getting excited. It was about time she got married again. "So, when's the big day?" She couldn't believe Amanda hadn't told her that Dean had proposed.

"There isn't one. I told him I need some more time." Dotty just looked at her incredulously. "I feel just awful being so mean to him, but he's just not what I want," Amanda continued before her mother could say anything. "He's too patient and understanding. Sometimes I wish he'd just get good and mad at me and I don't know...yell at me or something, so at least I'd know he was alive." Like Lee, she thought. We always have the worst arguments. He can be so infuriating. But he's always there when I need him.

Dotty laughed. "I know what you mean. There was this guy I dated before I met your daddy who was just like Dean. Dependable, predictable, sweet, patient...and one big yawn."

"Really? So, what'd you do?" Amanda had to know. This could be her solution.

"I told him to take a hike, and then I met your daddy that same week and before I knew it, I was hooked. He was so much fun. I'd never been with anyone like him. It was meant to be, I was sure of it."

"Sometimes, I just feel like Dean is just someone that I gravitated toward because he was the opposite of Joe. He wants to stick around..." Amanda admitted softly. "It's just...too much. He doesn't get that sometimes, I just need my own space."

Dotty sat quietly for a moment, pondering everything Amanda was telling her. "I hope you won't think I'm being nosy, but is there someone else in your life?"

"What? Someone else? No. Why do you ask?"

Dotty nodded , knowing all too well that when her daughter answered a question with a question that there was something she was trying to hide. So, there must have been at least a little truth there. "Just the way you disappear so much and you get these strange calls and go rushing out of the house at a moment's notice." she explained, trying to get some spark of the truth out of Amanda. "Not to mention you thought Dean was fine up until a couple of months ago." she pointed out.

"Mother..." Amanda gave up. She didn't have the strength to argue anymore.

"A man like that isn't what you need either."

"A man like what?" Amanda asked innocently.

"You know, the kind that expects you to drop whatever you're doing to meet his needs." Amanda shook her head in disbelief. 'If only you knew.' she thought.

"Mother, really, I'm not involved with anyone else."

"It's none of my business, really." she mused, trying a different approach. "I'm only your mother and you are an adult."

Amanda knew where this was going. The guilt trip. But she could play that game as well as Dotty could. She saw her opportunity and seized it. She put her hand to her head. "I think I am going to take that nap. I'm really bushed. And, you know, I think that headache is coming back."

"Oh, Darling!" Dotty gushed. "I'm so sorry. Do you want me to bring you anything. An aspirin?" she asked with motherly concern. She felt terrible now for asking all those probing questions when she knew Amanda had suffered a terrible ordeal.

"No, I just think I need to lie down for a while and give my head a rest.

"You want me to wake you when dinner's ready?"

"That'd be nice." She headed upstairs. Dotty watched her go and shook her head. Her thoughts turned back to their conversation. She looked up the stairs toward her daughter's room and it suddenly dawned on her that she'd been tricked. Oh well, she'd make up for it later.

"Hmmm. I wonder who the new man in her life is." She said aloud.