Title: Christmas Prayers Answered

Author: Megan Faye

Rated: G

Disclaimer: Dick Wolf owns SVU

A/N: I haven't given up on Remember Me, its just a little slow-coming. This is a one shot I wrote after hearing the Christmas mix of "Hands" by Jewel on the radio.


Olivia

My hand hold the victim's tiny little hand. She's scared, cold, and probably hungry. Her big blue eyes remind me of my partner. The child's hand squeezes mine, searching for comfort. I lift her into my lap, and she snuggles against me, wrapped in Elliot's coat. Homeless people at Christmas always make me a little sad, but homeless children break my heart. I feel in my soul that these children are begging God to help them, but He never answers.

He never answered me as a child. Why should I expect any different now? For some reason, and I'll never admit it openly, I still ask Him for help, and thank Him when something good happens. I don't believe in God, not since I was a child. But I still pray. I pray for the girl in my lap, Lilly, and for the first time I feel like it may be helping her that I did. I don't know. Habit I suppose.

Lilly's hand is so small in mine. She's probably around four years old. All she could tell us is that her name is Lilly. The case wouldn't even be ours; she wasn't abused, just abandoned. Its Christmas eve, nearly 8:00 at night, and I'm sitting in the squadroom holding a forsaken child.

"Would you like some soup?" Elliot asked the baby I held. She nodded, but her eyes were wide, almost with fear. I doubt she's had anything hot to eat in a while.

"How about hot chocolate, too?" I asked, grinning. I got a grin from my partner. That smile always lights up the room. "Lilly, his hot chocolate is the best. Would you like to try some?" She nodded again. I felt that her hand was still tight around mine. Soup, hot chocolate; that wasn't really important to this little girl. She wanted human comfort, and my hand was healing her more than I really understand.


Elliot

At one time, I could hold Maureen in my hands, and her whole body fit. Decades ago, she was small and innocent. Kathleen was bigger, and never fit completely in my hands, but I sure as hell tried. But the twins; they were tiny. Liz and Dickie came a few weeks early, and when those two were born, they could both sleep in my hands. Not my arms, my hands.

I pray often. I pray for Olivia, for my children, my ex-wife, Dani, the vics, the perps...But tonight when I prayed for this little girl, I prayed harder than I ever have. Olivia found her, and that was one miracle. I pray that she finds a home, a family, people who will ove her the way I love my kids.

My Kids.

My four little miracles. My kids all loved holding my hand when they were little.

My hands are rough, scarred, and big. And yet, the little girl in my partner's lap refuses to let go. She's asleep now; full and warm from the soup and coa coa. Olivia looks tired, but holds the kid tightly to her chest. God, I hope she finds a good guy and settles down. She'd be such a great mom.

"Dad?"

"Maureen," I whispered. "C'mere." I gave her a one armed hug. She and my kids live in Jersey with my naw ex-wife.

"Who's the kid?"

"Her name's Lilly. She was digging through my trash for something to eat," Liv said. "ACS is so backed up that no one can even place her in a group home for a week." Maureen looked heart-broken.

"We were just going through boxes at the house today, all of our old clothes and toys..."

"Its okay, sweetie-" My daughter smiled and inturrupted.

"Dad, we were taking them to Salvation Army, but I wanted to see you first. They're all in my car. Most of it is from when we were really little. Probably about that age." God hears and answers me. Lilly will have warm clothes to wear tonight, and she will be surrounded by kind people.


Olivia

I managed to maneuver myself around in my chair and call ACS again. Every group home is over-flowing for the holidays. The colder it is outside, the more kids they seem to get, and there are never enough beds. What, do they expect me to turn her back out on the street? She's a baby! In the few hours since I found her digging for food in my trash, she hasn't let go of my hand, nor has she spoken more than her name.

Elliot's daughter brought in a box of Lizzie's clothes and toys. She'd mentioned that Kathy made them wash everything before they donated, so they were clean, but probably several sizes too big. Elliot held up her little winter coat and smiled. Lilly looked up.

"Wanna give it a try?" he asked. And I'll be damned. The coat was just a little too big, but not so much that she couldn't wear it. "Perfect," Elliot said, smiling.

"Dad?" Maureen said. "What's going to happen to her?" Elliot sighed, and Lilly tensed in my lap.

"She's going to stay with me until a foster family opens up," I said. "If you want." Lilly nodded and eased backagainst me.

"Mom wanted to know if you would be coming to church tonight for the midnight service. She invited you, too, Olivia." I doubt that, but then again, stranger things have happened.

"I'll be there. Olivia? You wanna bring the girl? It might be good for her..."

"Sure. We'll be there. I'm going to get her cleaned up," I said, standing. Lilly rested her head on my shoulder and we headed up to the women's showers. "Maureen, I need you in there with me...vic...cop...showers...you understand..." Maureen nodded and followed me.


Elliot

I explained to Kathy why Olivia brought a kid with her. Kathy smiled, and welcomed Olivia. According to Maureen, Olivia put on her swim suit and showered with Lilly so she wouldn't be scared. Maureen picked through the box of Lizzie's things and found something Lilly could wear. Olivia braided her long brown hair. There were other things, too. I know we have to pass a small shopping center to get to my church. Lilly was sporting new shoes and socks. Nothing fancy, but she was sure as hell proud of them. I doubt she's ever had a new pair of shoes in her life.

"Wow, Lilly, you look great!" I said, teasing. She smiled and tucked her head back onto Olivia's shoulder.

"Livvie said I could stay at her house," she said very softly. "She has a kitty!"

"I know! I helped her pick the the little ball of fur out. Have you ever been to church, Lilly?"

"I slept in one once."

"Well, when that nice man is talking, we have to stay very quiet. And there will be times where we kneel and we talk to God very quietly in our heads. We pray. Thank Him for things, ask Him to bless us, and ask Him to bless other people." The little girl looked at me so innocently. "Mostly, we ask Him to help people who need help."

"Oh, okay," she said sweetly.


Olivia

My hands feel small and cold against Elliot's. I always suspected his hands we warm. As I stand, hand in hand with my partner and friend, I feel something for the first time. Faith. I've never had Faith in God before, but I feel it now. I feel that, standing in this warm church, that there may actually be good in this world. I feel Elliot's hand give mine a little squeeze.

'If you are listening, God, please find Lilly a safe home.'


Elliot

She never joined me in church before, but tonight, Christmas Eve, Olivia said Yes. And, No, its not a date. My children are with us, as well as my Ex-wife. Olivia's hands are softer than I could ever imagine, and she's trembling. I squeezed her hand to let her know I'm here, and she smiled at me. Maureen's hand is in my other hand, and she's praying with us. I know my daughter well enough to know how her eyes close when she prays. And she squeezes my hand when she's asking Him for something big. Not big like a new car. Something big like...

'God, please, God, Help Lilly and Olivia find peace.'


Maureen

I squeezed my Dad's hand while I prayed to God. I always squeeze his hand when I pray about something important. My dad's hands are big, and I don't even know if he feels it, but I always do that. I don't know what he was praying about, but I'm asking Him to let Lilly stay with Olivia. The two are great together. Olivia deserves a chance at mother-hood. My dad may never wise up and go for her. Lilly needs a home and a family as much as Olivia does.

'God, if you could make them a family, you would be saving two souls.'

I felt like I have His answer and His blessing.


Kathleen

Maureen squeezed my hands. She's talking to Him. We all are. And we're all probably asking him to keep Lilly and Olivia together.

'God, I don't ask for much, but I'm asking now. Olivia has no family. Lilly has no family. Please give them at least a chance. Olivia is a good person and a good soul.'

I never know if He's answering 'Yes,' or 'No.'

But I know he answered me.


Lizzie

'Father, my Dad and Olivia have done good in this world that I don't really understand. I'm only 15. I just know that they are good people who can help the kid. Please God, let them help her."


Dickie

'God, the kid was digging through the trash for food. I've never known homelessness, or hunger like that. Keep her with Olivia, God. She's one of your strongest down here. Amen.'


Kathy

'You didn't answer my prayer to keep my family together, and that is because I gave up. I see now, it was for the best. Those two could be so happy together, God. I want him to be happy. Olivia could do that for him, and they can give that baby a home where she is safe, and healthy. Seeing them together, now, in Your House, I would go through everything again if it would bring those three together. Thank you for giving me my wonderful, screwed up, beautiful family. Please, just add two more to that picture; Olivia and Lilly.'


Olivia

"Thank you for Livvie and Ewwiot and my new shoes and for my soup and for hot chocolate, and for Livvie and for Ewwiot and for letting me sleep in your church," I heard the kid whisper. My heart broke and I saw Elliot and his children tearing up watching her. Her hand still felt small in my own.


Don

'My hands are empty tonight. Once upon I time, I held my wife while we stared up at the Christmas tree until we slept. Every Christmas eve. Now its late, and I'm alone. I can live with that, Lord. But Can you please find peace for Olivia? She's such a beautiful person. Don't break her the way I was broken.'


Casey

'Heavenly Father, You've given me wonderful gifts today; the strength to do what is right when I could have done what was easy, and the knowlage to know the difference. Its Christmas Eve, and I have my family to go home to. But God, my best friend is alone in the world. She has no one to spend Christmas with, or any other day with. I know I ask this of you every night, and I'm going to ask you every night until she's not alone. Please God, help Olivia find some one to connect with. She's such a strong person, and she's close to a breaking point. Please, find her someone to call family. In the name of the Father, the Son, and The Holy Spirit, Amen.'


Olivia

When I woke up on Christmas morning as a child, I always expected presents, but there were never any. But I look to my left, and the child sleeping next to me is a reminder that best gifts aren't always wrapped. Elliot and Kathy agreed that the whole family would stay at their house Christmas eve, and invited me and Lilly to join them.

"Livvie?" Lilly whispered.

"Morning, Peanut," I said grinning. "Are you hungry? I smell Kathy's cooking, and I think its going to be a great big breakfast."

"Livvie, did you talk to God?"

"Yes," I said softly. "I did."

"He didn't answer me. Did He answer you?"

"I don't know yet. So far, it seems like He did." I lifted the small child up onto my hip and headed down the stairs. Gifts. There were tons of gifts under the tree. Oh, God. Lilly didn't have anything. Elliot and Kathy probably got those weeks ago for their children. I know I put their gifts under the tree four days ago...Maybe after breakfast, I'll take her out shopping for a few little things.

"Morning," Kathy said, flipping chocolate pancakes. Elliot was next to come pounding down the stairs. I know hime. He was up all night. Those bags under his eyes weren't from waking up early...and the couch wasn't made out. Dickie and Lizzie finally joined the land of the living and breakfast was served.

"Time for Presents!" Kathy announced. My stomach dropped.

"Santa made a visit last night, Lilly. I think I see a few under the tree with your name on it."

"Really?" she asked, eyes wide with anticiaption. I set her down and she scampered over to the girls.

"This is from Santa Clause." Lilly opened it. It was quite the box. Lilly pulled out the contents and looked them over.

"Are they really for me?" she asked, tears streaming down her face as she looked over the new clothes.

"Yep," Kathy told her. "Santa said so. See? Your name is on the card."

"This one is from Maureen," Elliot said, handing her a gift. Lilly opened the little box.

"Livvie, what are these for?" she asked climbing up into my lap and showing me a card of barets and pony-tail bobs.

"They are for your hair. When I braid it, we'll put one in. Don't forget our thank-you's." Lilly ran and hugged Maureen and Kathleen. I looked over at my partner. He could really amaze me sometimes. His kids stared tearing into the gifts, handing each other the gifts they got for each other, and occasionally bringing one to Kathy or Elliot. Elliot eventually climbed under the tree and got the gift I got him, and one he got me.

"I got this for you, Lilly," Lizzie said, handing the child a gift bag.

"Thank you, Lizzie," Lilly said softly. Lizzie smiled when Lilly's eyes lit up. Her first doll. "She's pretty!"

"This one is from Kathleen," Kathy said, handing a box to Lilly. She opened it excitedly. "Those books were their favorites as kids. I hope you like them."

"One more for Lilly," Dickie said. "Its from me, kid."

"Thank you," she said smiling. When she opened it, Lilly looked puzzled. "Look Livvie!" Elliot's eyes were misting over.

"Its all of us." Dickie had snapped a few pictures last night after Mass, and had Maureen take one of him, and the little brat did his computer thing. He digitally added himself into the picture. It looked like a perfect Christmas family photo. "So you can remember that we like you," he said very gently, giving her little hand a squeeze.


Casey

I'd never been in this court room. Family court isn't my thing, but Olivia is a friend. She filed for temporary custody of the kid she found picking through her trash. After a few days of digging and searching, we found her birth mother, dead or a drug over-dose three days before Liv found the girl. Probably why the kid left...poor thing. At least we know who she is now. Lillian Serena Thomas. Serena. Quite a coincidence if you ask me.

Either way, the motion was granted, and Olivia has a little girl, who will be 5 years old in February. She's got temporary custody and is filing for sole custody, pending an inspection by ACS.

Elliot told me he prayed for this, and his kids and ex-wife did to. I think Olivia did, but she's a tough nut to crack. Don prayed for it, but he didn't even know he was.

If I had an ounce of her strength, I wouldn't know what to do with it. I envy her for that.

"Case," Olivia said. I looked up and quickly wiped my cheeks. "You okay?"

"Even the good cases are hard sometimes."

"Yeah." Olivia dropped onto the couch next to me. "You really came through for me today. Lilly, too."

"I hope you guys are happy," I said smiling. I felt her strong cold hand rest on mine. It was healing in its own way.

"Thank you, Casey."

"How do you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Work in SVU for 8 years, and still have the strength to give a homeless toddler the love and attention you give Lilly? How can you be so strong after being broken by some many things? How do you help them?"

"I hold their hand. I can't always put away the perp. I can't take away their pain, or erase what happened. But I can be there. I hold their hands."

The healing touch of an SVU detective was magic. Olivia had it, Don had it, Elliot had it, Munch and Fin had it. I just hope that my hands will give some one the strength to keep going the way theirs do.


Olivia

My hands are small, and not very pretty. I need a manicure, and there are scars. My hands have held so many others. I hold their hands when they need to know that some one does care and someone is with them when they need me. I see people who are broken and lost. And if holding my hand brings back a little of who they were, then I'll stay all night holding some stranger's hand.

On Christmas Day, I finally had a chance to talk to Kathy. She told me about everything that happened Christmas Eve. After Lilly and I went to sleep, Elliot and the kids snuck back out and went shopping. They'd only gotten back with enough time to wrap and hide the gifts for Lilly, and get upstairs and change into pajamas. She also gave me her blessing to be with Elliot. All Kathy wanted was for the people she loved to be happy. I was already part of the family, and I was always welcomed in her home and in her heart.

Elliot holds my hand now, as Lilly sleeps in his lap. A month ago, I lived alone, and I was planning on sleeping through Christmas. Now, I have a daughter, and a friend. I see more to me and Elliot than friends, but we're taking things slow.

For now, he holds my hand.