1. Sue

"Hey Herb."

Sue leaned against the counter at Duncan's Dry Cleaning and smirked down at the fat, sweaty little man.

"Sue Sylvester!" Herb fawned, hurrying over to the counter. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"

She sneered and cut right to the chase. Sue Sylvester didn't have time for small talk. "I heard you were casting for a local production of Les Mis."

His doughy face lit up immediately. A disgusting public show of pointless enthusiasm, she thought.

"Oh yeah, wow!" He grinned. "Can you believe it? We've already got our Jean Valjean and our Javert! These two guys came in yesterday and sang a duet, and the sheer chemistry alone... Well, when I think of those two singing the confrontation scene every night, I get chills-"

"Let me stop you there," Sue said calmly, Herb stuttered and swallowed nervously. "There's only so much talent in that so-called duet," she continued. "And that's all wrapped up in the perfect package commonly known as Will Schuester." The lie almost stuck in her throat but she powered on through.

Herb reached under the counter for a pad of notepaper, covered in crabby writing. "Which one is he?"

"The one with the hair," Sue sneered. "Looks like it stinks of garbage. You can't miss him."

Herb gave her a confused look. "But the other guy, the blonde guy, he's the one that hit all the top notes."

Sue allowed herself a thin smile. "Ah well, I think he might be a sneaky gay."

"A sneaky gay?" Herb shook his head.

"Doesn't matter," Sue replied, rolling her eyes. Besides, no one who was that bad in bed is one hundred percent straight. She'd bet her signed copy of Material Girl on that. "Besides, I hear on the grapevine that he's a republican."

That brought a sneer to the fat man's face. "Really?"

Sue smiled. "Really." Gotcha!

Herb made a note on his pad and crossed something through. "Okay, I'll drop him from the cast and-"

"Oh no," Sue interrupted with a sugar-sweet smile. "Don't do that. Wouldn't want to alienate your star by kicking his lover- I mean, buddy- out of the show. Just give him a small part."

Herb looked totally out of his depth, flashing her a nervous, obsequious grin. "A speaking part?"

Sue laughed. She's seen the way Will looked at Bryan. "Just a few words." Oh, this was going to be fun.