Prologue

"Edward Cullen was a real life Greek god." Or at least according to my mom he was. He's one of my favorite topics of hers, one of those rarities. It's like a delicious dessert you only get on holidays, one of those desserts that are so rare until it's never tiring. From what my mother has told me about Edward he was her first love. He was the first boy to make her cry, the first boy to make her realize love and although she won't admit it "the one who got away."

I know my parents are in love.

I know because they still kiss in public and share "secret" looks which—yes creeps me out. Because they don't make some huge effort to hide arguments from me and they say arguments keep things "feisty." Most of all though among a million other little things I know my parents are in love because if they're away from one another too long they act like it's the end of the world. When they get home or call they talk in breathy voices of longing and as if they literally almost died from the separation. And yes that also creeps me out although I'm sure if my parents suddenly started acting the opposite I'd hate that even more.

My mom describes Edward as this walking, talking, amazing boy. He is every girl's "dream guy" including mine. Sometimes I feel weird thinking about how cute he must've been because I then realize he's forty-four now the same age as my mom. Whenever I ask my mom about what happened to her and Edward she's gets really pale and that's a big deal considering she's already really pale and changes the subject. She only talks about Edward when she's in a really good mood because I think he drags her down a lot. Mentally, he does I believe.

Today she talked about him because we moved to some small, dreary, town in Missouri. She said it reminded her of Forks where grandpa lives and where she met Edward. She hates the town but loves dad enough to move here and make it home (dad's job was transferred here.) I like our new surroundings I like the tranquility and the fact that we live in a real house. In New York we lived in some swanky apartment on the Upper Westside. It was big and comfortable but I always wanted something private that didn't include any other neighbors.

As I'm putting all my things away my mother comes in smiling asking what I'm thinking about.

"Why? Do I look deep in thought to you, mom?"

"Yes." She says smiling.

"I'm just hoping I find my own Edward."

She nods but takes on a serious tone in her voice. "Remember, my Edward and I didn't end up together. I don't know if it's your very own you want."