Jane Rizzoli parked her car across the road from Maura Isles' house. Darkness covered the quiet area around her like blanket, courtesy of the broken street lamp beside the vehicle. Looking across the road, she saw lights blazing in Maura's windows and took a deep breath. She slumped against her seat and gripped the steering wheel with cold hands.
What am I doing? She'd asked herself the question over and over from the moment she'd exited her apartment. Deep down she knew the answer. She knew what she was doing, she just didn't know why. She didn't know what it was that constantly drove her here, to this house, but she always answered the call regardless.
She glanced up again and was taken aback when she saw the outline of Maura stood at the window. Although the ME was silhouetted by the light behind her, for one heart stopping moment Jane felt those eyes she'd come to know so well boring into her, filled with questions and, regrettably, a little bit of fear.
She saw the front door open then, and Dr. Ian Faulkner emerged looking somewhat disgruntled. Jane watched the broad shouldered, handsome man walk to his car, trying to tamper down the wave of jealousy that had risen at the sight of him. Her eyes narrowed, glaring daggers as she watched him get into his car and drive away.
She returned her gaze to the now empty window and took some more deep breaths. Okay, it was now or never. She exited the car, an icy breeze making her wavy hair blow about her shoulders. She shivered, not having remembered to throw on her jacket before she left her apartment. Goosebumps rose on her arms and she crossed them over her chest, shielding her body from the brunt of the wind.
She hurried to Maura's front door, the cold replacing her nervousness with a desire to be inside where it was warm. She knocked twice, hard, and waited impatiently. She scowled when the door went unanswered. "Really, Maura? I'm freezing my ass off out here, let me in!" When all remained quiet, she stomped away around the side of the house to where the guest house stood. To where her mother was currently living.
She could see through the glass doors that her mother was still awake and watching television. She rapped her knuckles on the glass, taking no prisoners as she knocked so hard the pane trembled. Her mother jumped up in alarm, then jumped again when she saw the figure at her door. She squinted fearfully until she realised it was Jane, and then she hurried to admit her.
"Jesus, Janey, what are you doing out here at this time of night? Are you in some kind of trouble? Tell your mother what you've done." As usual, Angela was doing her best not to interfere.
"What makes you think I did anything, Ma?" Jane spluttered, standing by Angela's blazing fire and rubbing her arms. "I just need to talk to Maura, but she won't open the door to me..." She stared into the flames, trying to ignore the wrenching of her heart. Her chest felt like it was being squeezed as she remembered what had brought her to this moment...
Three weeks earlier...
"Jane, we need to talk..." Maura sounded like she was going to cry, but the tinny reception of Jane's cell could be deceiving.
"Maura, sweetie? Are you okay?" Jane's heart clenched at the sorrowful tone of her lover's voice. She increased her speed and changed course, heading instead to Maura's home rather than her own.
"Yes, I just...I just need to talk to you..."
"I'll be there soon."
Jane made it to Maura's in record time and let herself in with the key Maura had recently presented her with. She smiled as she did so, glad that Maura had finally taken her advice and started to lock the door at all times of the day.
"Maur'? Where are you?" Jane rounded the corner into the dining room and halted at the sight of Maura sat at the far end of the table, Ian Faulkner stood behind and slightly to the right of her with his hand on her shoulder. Maura's red eyes indicated that she had indeed been crying, but it was Ian's hand, possessively caressing her shoulder, that Jane's sights zeroed in on. "Anybody want to tell me what's going on?" Her voice was low, dangerous, devoid of emotion.
"Jane, I-I've been thinking...we should perhaps attempt to-...to date other people..." Maura's voice was small, weak, but for once Jane was not affected by it.
"Date other people? Date other people?" Jane fumed, and still her gaze was fixed on Ian's hand.
"This is for the best, Jane-" Ian offered, but Jane cut him off with an icy glare.
"Detective Rizzoli to you, Faulkner, and remove your Goddamn hand before I shoot it off." Her eyes returned to Maura then, but the doctor was steadfastly avoiding her gaze. "Maura, look at me...please, tell me what's going on." Her tone was soft and pleading, almost desperate.
"I just think...our relationship has...run its course.." Maura haltingly replied, but Jane knew she was lying. Maura still couldn't lie to save her life.
"Bullshit, Maura!" She glanced at Ian for a second, who seemed content to let them talk it out without his input now. "Have you slept with him?"
Maura did look at her now, steel in her hazel green eyes. "No, I would never cheat on you, Jane, how can you even think that?"
"I don't know what the hell I'm supposed to think! You made this happen, Maura, you made us happen! You pushed me and pulled me until I submitted and for what? So we could have a couple' months of fun and then you could move on? How could you do this to me knowing how I felt? Knowing why I held back for so long?" Tears formed at the corners of Jane's eyes and began their steady descent down her face. She ignored them, as if not acknowledging them somehow made them invisible.
"I thought we had something, Maura, I thought...I thought you loved me..." Jane turned away, the tears falling freely now. She gritted her teeth against the onslaught of pain.
"I do love you, Jane, so much..." Maura rasped, seeming just as torn apart as Jane. Jane looked at her one last time, seeing tear-stained cheeks and a deep sadness in her eyes and not understanding any of it.
"Just not that much, huh?" Jane retorted, and walked out the door, dropping the door key on the quaint little doormat that she had always liked.
Present time...
"I have noticed that you haven't been around as much lately..." Angela supplied, bringing Jane out of the painful memories. She spun around.
"I need to get inside that house. Do you have a hammer? I'll break the windows if I have to."
"Janey..."
"I know it's crazy, Ma, I know she doesn't want to see me but I just can't leave it like this..."
"Janey!"
"What, Ma?"
"You can use my key." Angela held out the key that she had first shown Jane that fateful night when all this began.
"You're a genius, Ma." Jane said, kissing Angela on the cheek and grinning.
"Well of course, where do you think you get it from?" Angela smiled, "Go and make things right, Janey. I've never seen you so happy as you were with Dr. Isles." She patted Jane's cheek and left it at that.
Jane let herself in slowly, aware that she probably wasn't all that welcome here. She'd avoided work for the last few weeks, taking the holidays that had stacked up over the year. She hadn't wanted to see Maura or speak to her. She'd barely wanted to get out of bed, if she was being honest with herself.
"Maur'?" She whispered, feeling an odd sense of deja-vu and an accompanying sense of dread. She heard Maura before she saw her, the soft tread of her bare feet on the carpet curiously loud in the quiet house. The doctor met her at the door, coming to a stop three feet away from her. Jane could close the distance between them in one stride, but the space felt like a large, bottomless chasm. "Hey..." She breathed, not sure what to say now that she was here. She hadn't planned this far ahead.
"Jane..." Maura whispered, beseeching the detective with sad eyes, "I've...I've missed you."
"Have you?" Jane instantly countered, her tone slightly harsher than she intended it to be. She stood firm, though. She had to understand.
"Every day, Jane. I miss our...friendship."
Jane's heart seemed to wither within her chest. "Friendship? Friendship, Maura? Is that all it was in those last couple of months? Because I sure as hell don't fuck any of my other friends."
"Don't call it that..."
"What, Maura? Fucking? I admit you had me fooled, had me thinking it was something more than that but it was just too damn easy for you to end it." Jane's nostrils flared and she began pacing. Maura made no move to stop her as she would have in the past. There was too much anger, too much pain emanating from the tall detective. Maura felt it like a thick wall, separating them.
"Jane, please, I didn't want to end it! I loved you! I still do!" Tears streamed down Maura's pretty face, tugging mercilessly at Jane's heart. She ruthlessly ignored the urge to go to Maura and hold her, kiss the tears away and soothe her with endearing words.
"Then tell me why, Maura, tell me why you're putting us both through this torture..."
Maura seemed to sway on the spot, then she moved to sit on one of the breakfast bar stools. Jane kept her distance, not trusting herself to get any closer.
"My mother found out about us." Maura began, staring down at her hands, "She gave me an ultimatum. I either had to end it or be disowned." Understanding dawned on Jane.
"Oh, sweetie...I'm so sorry, I didn't...I didn't realise..." She trailed off at the shaking of Maura's head.
"I told her I didn't care, Jane...I told her I loved you. But then she mentioned Ian. She told me she'd use all of her connections to have him arrested." A fresh bout of tears struck the small woman, but still Jane resisted. "I'm sorry, Jane...I couldn't do it..."
"Me or sick African children?" Jane muttered with a quiet but sad chuckle, "She really had you there..." She shoved her hands through her thick hair, irritated. Not with Maura, but with herself, with the world, cruel as it was. She'd never figured Maura's parents to be so narrow minded, especially considering Constance's choice of career, but then she never thought her own mother would be so accepting, either.
"There's more, Jane..." Maura sounded defeated, as though she was about to reveal the worst part yet. Jane steeled herself, not sure what was coming but knowing somehow that it was going to cut her deeply.
"Ian returned for more supplies last week...I harboured him again and...and there was an...an instance of weakness," Sobbing as she spoke, Maura finally looked up and met Jane's gaze, "I was missing you so much, and he comforted me..."
Jane closed her eyes, unwilling to hear the rest because she already knew what Maura was going to say. "You slept with him..." It wasn't a question, but Maura nodded anyway.
"I'm so sorry, Jane, I was lonely...it didn't mean anything! Please...forgive me..." Maura stood and took a step toward Jane.
"Don't!" Jane snapped, holding a hand up to halt the ME's progress. "Don't." She repeated, softer this time. The detective continued to pace for several moments, and then she surprised Maura by abruptly changing direction and making a beeline for the doctor. Maura wasn't quite sure whether she should run or stand her ground, but Jane was looming over her before she could really dwell on the decision.
Jane grabbed Maura's face with both hands and lowered her head to capture those soft pink lips. She tasted of salty tears and flavourless lip gloss, which Jane had always protested was absolutely not flavourless. Maura opened immediately to her, and she slipped her tongue into the welcoming warmth of the ME's mouth, remapping the still familiar territory and being welcomed by its counterpart. Maura moaned deep in her throat, and Jane found it to be a most encouraging noise.
When Jane finally pulled away and opened her eyes, they were dark, as black as night in their intensity. "Did it feel like that when he kissed you?" She demanded, her voice like a growl. She didn't wait for Maura to respond. Wrapping a strong arm around the doctor's waist, she crushed their bodies together and claimed the ME's lips again. She walked her backwards until Maura's back hit the breakfast bar, and in one smooth action she had the doctor up on the counter.
"Did he kiss you everywhere before he fucked you?" Jane tore at Maura's blue silk blouse, sending buttons everywhere. She kissed the newly exposed skin, marvelling in it's softness and milky whiteness despite her sense of feral urgency. She nipped at the protruding collar bones, leaving marks she hoped would never fade. Maura cried out, indicating she'd bitten a little too hard, but the small hands that were lost in her flowing mane did nothing to stop her.
"Did he fuck you with his mouth? His fingers?" Jane unhooked the bra that was the last barrier between her mouth and Maura's breasts. She proceeded to feast, bathing each nipple with her tongue and sucking the hard buds to attention.
As if fully succumbing to the assault, Maura propped herself up on rigid arms, arching her back and offering up her breasts for Jane's eager mouth. She'd missed this, this ferocity that Jane had sometimes taken her with. Admittedly, it had never been suffused with such a feral need to reassert possession, but that variable only added to the building excitement. Maura wasn't usually given to fantastical descriptions of things, but she really believed that she felt Jane in the blood that flowed beneath her skin, in the heart that pumped it around her body. She'd craved her touch these past few weeks, craved it like a dehydrated Dryopteris erythrosora craves water.
Oblivious to Maura's inner monologue, Jane continued her path downwards, lips skating across the toned stomach, tongue swiping at the smooth skin as if washing Ian's presence from her body. She tugged insistently at Maura's pants until they slid down her legs and to the floor. The panties followed their descent a split second later.
"Did he fuck you slowly, Maur'?" Jane whispered, finally looking up into the eyes of her lover and seeing the passion there, the love that she knew had never really disappeared. Never losing eye contact, she pushed her tongue between the slick, wet folds and dragged it upwards over the heated swelling of Maura's sex. She repeated the action until Maura threw her head back and groaned, her hips beginning to undulate against Jane's tongue. Reaching up, Jane closed a hand over each breast and softly palmed the yielding mounds as she changed tactics.
"Did he make you come so hard it hurt?" She breathed, before closing her mouth over the pulsating flesh and kissing it tenderly as she might Maura's mouth. She sucked it teasingly and flicked it with her tongue, thoroughly enjoying the way Maura's stomach rolled in time with her gliding lips. Beads of sweat formed along the taught abdominal ridges even as she watched, begging to be lapped up and tasted. She could feel Maura's inner muscles convulsing against her chin as the ME's body readied itself to let go and fall into the unrivalled bliss of orgasm.
At the very last second Jane relinquished a breast and slid two fingers home into the searing heat of Maura's sex. The velvety walls contracted the instant she was fully buried, and a torrent of growls and moans and groans erupted from Maura's mouth as the orgasm slammed into her. Jane pumped her fingers hard and felt satisfaction when a second climax rocked Maura's body just as the first began to descend. Jane kept her mouth around the quivering flesh until she felt Maura pushing her head away with shaky hands.
Jane remained buried inside her as she kissed her way back up Maura's sweat-slicked body. "Mine..." She muttered, tenderly kissing all the bites she had left earlier. Maura pulled her head up for a long, languid kiss, during which Jane gently withdrew her fingers. When they finally pulled apart for air, Jane rested her forehead against Maura's. "You're mine," She whispered.
They made love until the early hours of the morning, reacquainting themselves with one another's bodies until they were satisfied that the connection between them had been fully repaired. Tired but sated, they lay together in the darkness, each lost in their own thoughts. It was Maura who finally broke the silence.
"What are we going to do, Jane?" She asked.
"I don't know, Maur'...but we'll figure something out, I promise. I love you..."
It was the first time Jane had uttered those words, and whilst it made Maura happy to hear them, a part of her was sad that such heartbreaking circumstances had led to the confession. Still, she smiled and kissed her underside of Jane's jaw. "I love you too."
