Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

Author/Note: I truly hated Breaking Dawn. I never thought that a great story would end up sounding like a lame soap opera. All the characters were out of place and the plot was totally ruined. I felt disappointed and most of all deceived. I've read many Twilight fictions which are actually more interesting than the book. The thing I hated the most in BD was Jacob's imprint. He did not deserve that. So this is just a short story about Jacob, who in my opinion should've found love with Leah. At least they make sense. I don't hate Nessie though, so I'll not bash her or Bella. They are good characters they're just poorly portrayed in BD. Like everything else.

This story is rated T but some chapters can be rated M for inappropriate language and sexual content (but not explicit).

I'm not a native English speaker so I'm sorry for my grammar and spelling.

The five stages of Grief by Jacob Black

First Stage – Denial

When Seth called me that morning I would've never guessed I would end up on his front porch with Embry and Quil waiting patiently for one of our members to come home.

Leah was coming back for a visit after being gone for a year. She used to call up on Sue and Seth to see if they were ok, but the rest of us were kind of left out. I knew that was the reason she left. She wanted to stay away from us and La Push. She wanted to stay away from the place where she had been truly unhappy over the passed three years. But most of all she wanted to stay away from Sam and Emily who had deeply hurt her and she wanted to be able to have a normal life, whatever that means.

I had made her my beta. She'd been there for me when I most needed and she was loyal. I knew I could trust her. She said she joined me because she wanted to keep an eye on her brother but I knew Leah better than that. She wanted to break free from Sam's grip. I was the first person she told about going to Seattle for a while. I couldn't force her to stay because Leah was too stubborn. She would always get what she wanted.

Seth and Sue were sad for a while. Especially Seth. Leah was his sister. Not only she was his pack sister, she was also his biological sister and they had never been apart since they were children. Leah was always there for him. Embry and Quil on the other hand were quite relieved. Although Leah had mentioned several times that she was over Sam and she had forgiven Emily, she was still bitter and sometimes it was hard to be around her and share her mind. She wanted to have a normal life and it was my job as her alpha to let her go. So I did.

Seth told us Sue was going to cook a family dinner to celebrate Leah's arrival and we were invited, after all we were her family too. So I had called off my evening plans with Nessie to have dinner with the Clearwaters.

I had put a cleaned shirt on and tennis shoes because I wanted to make myself presentable. Embry and Quil were also full clothed. Seth was walking around nervously with his hands on his pockets. He was really annoying me.

When I was almost thinking that she wasn't going to show up a car appeared right in front of us and a very different, new and fresh Leah got out. It took Seth less than two seconds to reach her. They hugged for a while and my jaw almost dropped when I heard her laugh.

-How's my baby brother? – she asked playfully.

-I'm fine and you?

-I'm good Seth.

I took a few more seconds to look at her. Her hair was longer, it was now over her shoulders. She was dressed in thigh blue jeans and a purple top. She looked younger and quite attractive.

Embry and Quil were also surprised by her new looks. She hugged them briefly and then she met my eyes. She smiled and I couldn't help a grin. She new I was friends with the Cullens and yet she was going to have to hug me. I had showered but the stench was always there. And I knew she hated it.

Surprisingly she didn't even comment on that. Her embrace was warm and it made me feel happy that she was back. I never realised that I had actually missed her until now. Or maybe it was just the feeling of her body against mine that was making me think that way. I had never been so close to her and I couldn't understand why I hadn't realised she was so attractive.

When we let go and I was about to say a smart remark about her homecoming, my grin faltered. A black haired guy was coming out of the car. He was carrying a small bag and smiled at us.

-Guys, that's Aaron Buckley. He's my boyfriend.

What the hell! Leah had a boyfriend? Since when? Seth moved to the guy's right side and his smile faltered. He wasn't expecting Leah's little brother to be so…tall.

-So you're dating my sister? – Seth asked trying to intimidate the guy. He wasn't failing but I would've done better. I would've made him piss himself.

-Yeah…I guess I am.

-What kind of mental issue do you have? – Embry asked going to his left side. Aaron was trying not to show fear but I knew he was scared to death.

Leah went over them and poked Embry in the chest.

-What the hell are you implying Call?

-Nothing. – he grinned.

-Does he treat you well? – Seth questioned.

-Of course he does. – Leah assured and I felt my insides twist. Was she really going out with that guy? She was supposed to love Sam…right? Ok, maybe it was good for her to move on. Sam was married now and we all knew the imprint wouldn't break. She couldn't just sit around and wait for him to come back to her. That would never happen. But seriously? Was she really dating a guy named Buckley?

-That's Jacob. – I heard Leah's voice and looked at them. I had been distracted and stupid Aaron was laughing at me.

-What's so funny? – I asked. That shut him up immediately.

-Nothing… - he stuttered.

-He's probably missing Ness. – Quil said in a low voice. It looked like he was the one missing Claire. I hadn't been thinking about Nessie.

-How's Nessie? – Leah asked.

-Fine. - I stated.

-Oh you have a girlfriend…why isn't she here? – the dipshit asked. The guy's nerves.

-Nessie's not my girlfriend. She's my…goddaughter.

-Oh, sorry.

-How long are you going to stay Leah? – Seth asked.

-A few weeks. I'm on vacation.

Before we could say another word, Sue's voice reached us.

-Leah? Is that you?

Leah walked inside taking Aaron with her. I couldn't believe she had actually brought a stranger home with her. To meet us. What was she expecting? Our approval? She was a wolf, she was one of us, she should've known better. We were supposed to hide our secret and now she was jeopardising everything. Suddenly I didn't feel like staying for dinner, especially when that meant I had to put up with that guy's face. I usually wasn't an unfriendly type of person, but for some unknown reason I couldn't help it. The only time I had acted like that was with…Edward Cullen. But that was understandable because he was trying to take Bella away from me.

Dipshit Aaron complimented Sue's cooking skills and then he started to tell us how he and Leah had met. I didn't pay much attention to what he was saying. I knew he just wanted to cause a good impression but I wasn't buying that. By the end of his fairytale life with Leah for the last five months, I was convinced he didn't deserve her at all.

Ok so he wasn't that bad looking. He had black short hair and green eyes and was just about Leah's height. He dressed properly and not like the rest of us, with scrappy shorts and old shirts. He worked at a lawyer's office and owned a small apartment in Seattle. But still, he wasn't Leah's type. Not in a million years. He was weak, he was…normal.

After dinner I kicked Aaron's ass at all the XBox games we played. He was only able to beat Quil because Quil was more used to play with dolls. When I saw Leah alone in the kitchen I said I was thirsty and asked Embry to finish that game for me.

-So…did you miss us? – I asked her.

-Of course I did. – I knew she was being sincere. I wanted to tell her she was making a mistake dating Aaron but that would sound weird coming from me. I was just a friend. Her alpha. Someone who couldn't stop her from doing what she really wanted.

-Why are you here, Leah?

-I don't understand…I'm visiting my family…

-Are you sure you're not just here to prove something? – she wasn't stupid. She knew exactly that I was referring to Sam Uley. Even if she really was over him, there would be a part of her that would want to show Sam that she had made it, that she was happy again.

-No, Jacob. I'm not here to prove anything to anyone. Especially not to Samuel fucking Uley. – she spat. Well she was still feisty, that hadn't changed at all.

-Does Aaron know about what we are?

-Of course not. Do you really think he'd be with me if he knew?

-People say love's unconditional.

-Within limits.

-Will you ever tell him?

-I don't think so. I'm trying to quit phasing…I need to know if I can still be a normal person.

-Right…you still want the house, the white fence and the kids.

-Is that wrong?

-No.

-Then why are you so upset?

-It's good to know you still have dreams and hopes for a better future but I can't imagine you with…him… - I moved my head towards the living room where her current boyfriend was.

-Why not? He's a good guy…

-He doesn't know the real Leah Clearwater.

All that Aaron could see was the surface of Leah. Deep down she was much more than what she showed him. She was a strong young woman, a protector of La Push, the only female wolf in Quileute's history, my beta. He didn't know any of that. And he would never know about her darkest secrets like we did. The pain she went through when Sam left her after seeing Emily, the pain after Harry's death, the constant suffering about not being able to have children. Leah had a very heavy baggage over her shoulders and Aaron was not worthy of her. That much I knew.

-Jacob you're acting as if you're my dad. I don't need that kind of shit from you.

-I'm still your alpha.

-Is that a threat?

-No.

-What are you going to do tomorrow? – she asked changing the subject. I guess she didn't want to fight with me in front of her lovely boyfriend.

I shrugged. I had no idea. Probably I would just hang around and go to the Cullens. I doubted she would want to come along.

-Aaron didn't believe me when I told him we used to cliff dive from First Beach's cliffs. Do you want to go and show him?

That was a nice invitation. I would certainly enjoy watching that little shit's face when he saw us diving from the cliffs.

-Sure. – I accepted. Aaron was going to be surprised. With some luck I would also be able to humiliate him and make him look like a scared little girl. That would show Leah he wasn't good enough for her.

The game was on.

xxxxxxxxxx

I woke up suddenly and realised I wasn't alone in my room. Leah was standing by the door waiting for me to get up. I remembered that we were going to cliff dive. Aaron wasn't around.

-Did you make up your mind already? – she asked.

-About what? Cliff diving? I'm always up to that…

Leah entered the room and closed the door behind her. She was using a sundress which caught my attention. She never wore dresses before.

-Jake…Are you confused? – she asked again. Actually I was kind of confused with all those questions.

I sat down on the edge of my bed and watched as Leah walked towards me. She sat on my lap and put her arms around my neck. I was petrified. My mind was numb and I couldn't even remember my own name. What the hell was happening to me? What the hell was she thinking?

I put my hands around her waist to push her away but I brought her closer to me instead. She wasn't as heavy as I thought and her eyes were shining in a deep brownish colour. I had never noticed her eyes before. They were really pretty.

Our faces were now too close and my heart skipped a few beats. She was staring at me and I felt my stomach flip hundreds of times. Then she closed her eyes and leaned on. Our lips were almost touching. I closed my eyes too and waited for the contact.

-Jacob! – my father's scream made me open my eyes. I was still lying down on my bed. It was a dream. Shit.

I didn't know why I was so angry. Was it because I was dreaming about Leah? Or was it because my father's voice had prevented us to kiss in my dream? Shit. Shit. Shit. I was clearly out of my mind. Where the hell did that dream come from? I had never dreamed about her before.

-Jacob! – my father's voice was now closer and I got up and met him at the door.

-What?

-Leah's here.

-What? – I felt like someone had thrown me into a volcano. I was heating up so fast I almost thought I was going to combust right there.

-Are you ok son?

-Sure, sure…

-She's with Seth and another guy…she said you're going to cliff dive.

That was the plan. To go cliff diving. Actually I really needed a cold shower.

-Get dressed Jacob. – Seth yelled. – Hurry up.

In the end I guess it was a good thing my father woke me up. I was scared to think what would've happened if I kept dreaming.

A few minutes later we were all in the cliffs. Quil and Embry were arguing about the last time we cliff dived. Seth and Leah were watching the ocean and Aaron was looking shitless scared about what we were going to do.

-So…Aaron…have you ever done this before? – I asked knowing the answer.

-No. I'm not a very good swimmer.

-Really? Well Embry works as a lifeguard in the Summer, so you don't need to worry.

-Do you really jump from the top? – he asked taking two steps back.

-Yeah. – Seth, Quil, Embry and I answered.

-Who's going first? – I asked.

-You could do the honours. – Leah suggested.

-I could…but you're the one visiting…

-Well…I'm not going to jump. – she stated.

-It was your idea. – I retorted.

-I don't think I can jump either. – said poor little Aaron. As if I'd give a shit about him jumping or not.

-Come on Leah, Aaron's going to think you were lying all the time. – I provoked.

-I'll go if you go first. – she said.

-I have a better idea. Why don't we go together?

In a flash I was beside her, I grabbed her waist and jumped over the edge. She put her arms around me and the last thing we heard were Quil, Embry and Seth's laughs. The water wasn't as cold as I thought and when we reached the surface Leah was royally pissed off with my juvenile actions, so she said.

I laughed and then she gave me a small smile which meant I was forgiven.

-It was funny…admit it Clearwater.

-Just a bit Black…and it was only funny because I missed doing this.

The waves were throwing us against the rocks and we knew we had to swim to the shore.

-Want to race? – I suggested knowing that her competitive attitude wouldn't allow her to say no.

-I would, but you have an advantage. You're wearing shorts and I'm fully dressed. I'm heavier…

What I did next was totally off boundaries and I didn't even realise what I was doing before actually doing it. I dived and took off her shoes. Then I grabbed her jeans' waistband and took them off as well. When I surfaced she was staring at me but she didn't hit me. Encouraged by that I slipped my hands underwater again and lifted her shirt up. She was now wearing only her underwear. Red and sexy…I was definitely a dead man. I had stripped Leah Clearwater while her boyfriend was standing on the cliffs probably asking himself if we were alive.

-Ready? Go!

At the sound of my voice Leah and I started to swim furiously towards the beach. She was still fast as a lightning but I was far more experienced than her. Surprisingly we got to the beach almost at the same time. She was just a few seconds ahead of me and I had to blame her underwear for that. I could only have a glance of it if she was swimming ahead of me.

Crap. Was I really thinking about Leah that way? What the hell! She was just a friend. Ok she was a really hot friend but a friend nevertheless. Seth's sister, Sue's daughter, dipshit Aaron's girlfriend. I was loosing my mind. That was really disturbing.

-I won Black. Don't forget that.

-No way Clearwater. I won.

-Are you blind? I got here first.

I didn't answer because I was too occupied watching the way her breasts were going up and down while she was lying on the sand. Shit. This was getting out of hand.

-Those jeans were expansive, did you know that?

-What? – I asked stupidly. What was she saying?

-It cost me a fortune.

-Oh…right…I'll be right back. Don't move.

I went back to get her clothes. My thoughts cleared a bit once I was in the cold water. So what if I noticed Leah's breasts? I was a man and she was a woman. It would be strange if I suddenly started to notice Seth or Quil's biceps and Embry's eyes, right? I mean how many guys would ignore a woman like Leah standing in her red underwear right in front of them?

Anyways I just needed to admit that Leah Clearwater was kind of beautiful and attractive. Aaron was a lucky bastard and that was it. End of story.

When I got back to the beach Leah was still lying on the sand. I splashed a few drops of water and she got up immediately.

-Asshole.

-Bitch.

She grinned. It was good to see that she hadn't changed that much. Aaron wasn't such a big influence on her.

-I got these…Can you handle it yourself, or do you need help to dress up?

I didn't know why I asked her that. I was trying to act normal but her mere presence seemed to cloud my mind and made me act like an idiot. I was wondering if she was aware that I was flirting with her when her words caught me totally off guard.

-You took it out…You can put it back. If you can handle it Black.

That was a challenge. One that I couldn't back off.

She put her arms up and I slipped her shirt back on quickly. I could hear Embry, Quil, Seth and Aaron getting closer now.

-It's backwards Jacob… - she complained. – If you're doing a job, do it right.

She was provoking me and I was feeling nervous by the minute. I took the shirt off and put it back correctly. Then I got on my knees and she lifted on of her long and sexy legs. This was torture. I wasn't supposed to feel this way about her. I pulled her jeans up her legs slowly and when I reached the waistband her hands touched mine. I didn't let go because I was literally on fire.

I have no idea how long we stood there staring at each other but finally I managed to let go.

-Thanks Jacob. For getting these for me.

-I…I…I got this too. – my brain was slowly functioning again and I gave her one of her shoes. I couldn't find the other.

-Thanks. But I guess now it's useless.

-Well Seth can carry you back.

Their voices were now really close.

-You're just like Cinderella…Whoever gets to find the other shoe will be your prince charming. – I mocked.

-Well I didn't know you were such a romantic Black. But usually Cinderella is a beautiful, nice and kind girl…I don't think I fit the profile.

-I think you do. – my hand moved to her face and I put a stripe of her brown hair behind her ear. We were almost touching and this time I realised that my heart was beating so fast that the others would notice something was wrong.

-I've got to go…I'll see you later. – I waved at the others and disappeared quickly into the forest. That was possibly the weirdest thing that happened to me in years. Not only I had flirted with Leah Clearwater but I was also thinking how beautiful she was and how good it would feel to hug and touch her.

I was in deep shit. I had to snap out of this fast and the only way to do it was getting my mind to think about something else. Not Leah, not her body, not her eyes or her smile. What could I do to stop thinking about her? Nessie…

I hadn't seen her since yesterday's lunch time. She was my imprint. I should've at least called to check on her and yet I had been cliff diving with Leah. Nessie never crossed my mind until now. That was wrong. I had imprinted on her for a reason, right? She's supposed to be my world and I was neglecting her.

I left the beach behind and I decided to pay a visit to the Cullens so I could apologise to Nessie. When I got there she was playing in the garden with Esme and Alice.

-Hi Ness…how are you? – I came closer.

-Hi Jacob. I'm fine. We're making mud pies. – she smiled at me and showed me her little hands filled with mud. She was cute.

-Nessie…you were supposed to be playing the piano. – Rosalie's voice reached us.

Nessie sighed desolated. She wanted to play a little more with Esme and Alice. Suddenly I felt out of place. She looked happy enough without my presence. But that also made me feel a little less guilty. I had been worried about her being angry with me.

-She did ask where you were this morning, but she knows that you have other things to do. – Edward came out of the house and Bella was right behind him.

-So how's Leah? – Bella asked.

Bella was never fond of Leah but since she had joined my pack and helped to protect Nessie from Sam and then from the Volturi, she tried to be nice to Leah every time they met.

-She's…fine.

-Is she…you know…less bitter than before?

That was probably what everyone really wanted to know. Everyone knew she had left because of Sam.

-I guess. She's dating again.

-Really? – Bella was surprised.

-Yeah.

-He's a shithead and doesn't deserve her? – Edward questioned. He had picked that up in my mind and was quite surprised to know that I hated Leah's boyfriend. That wasn't good.

-Well, he's an outsider. He doesn't know about us. - I tried to explain.

-But if she's dating him it means he makes her happy. – Bella reasoned.

-Whatever. – I didn't want to talk about that idiot. Actually I was there to forget about Leah and her boyfriend.

-Renesmee…time to go inside and take a bath. Now. – Bella ordered.

-But mummy…I want to stay here.

-No, you're all dirty and aunt Rosalie is waiting for you. Come on.

Nessie tried to win the argument but Bella took her hand and didn't flinch when the little girl started to whine.

-Bye Jacob. – she waved.

-See you later Ness.

Great now I had nothing to distract me from thinking about her.

-You know it's ok to think about her. – Edward said. I hadn't realise he was still there.

-No it's not. I love Nessie… - I stated.

-I know you do but you're not in love with Nessie. It's different.

-What the hell are you saying leech? I'm not in love with Leah!

-Are you sure? I can read your mind Jacob and there's definitely something there about Leah and how you feel about her…

-I just think she's nicer now. She's different…that's all. She has a boyfriend, remember?

-A boyfriend who you want to cut into tiny pieces and burn.

-No! I don't want to do that.

My brain suddenly screamed liar.

-Whether is love or lust…you do have new feelings developing Jacob. And they all concern Leah Clearwater.

-Damn it, Edward. I didn't see her in a year. I missed her. What's wrong with that?

-I never said it's wrong…you did.

-So what if she looks good and funny? She's just a friend. My beta…I don't feel anything for her.

-I believe you're in denial. But soon you'll realise that I'm right.

I turned my back on Edward and headed home.

-Fuck you leech. You don't know anything about me.

On my way to La Push I decided I didn't want to go home yet so I went back to the beach. Seth and the others were probably having lunch so I wouldn't run into them. Edward's words were still replaying in the back on my head like a stupid and annoying song.

How could I, Jacob Black, fall in love with Leah Clearwater? She was out of limits for so many reasons. Besides I had imprinted. I couldn't love them both. I had once said Bella that one could love more than one person at the same time. But this was wrong. I had imprinted on Nessie since she was born. She was my soul mate. Since then I hadn't been interested in girls. I wanted to wait until Nessie was older.

But for some stupid reason Leah's image was stuck on my mind. Why? I didn't understand why I had been feeling like this since she came back from Seattle. I walked down the beach searching for answers but I never got them. I was totally screwed and my stomach was complaining. I was starving. When I was about to leave I saw something near the water and I approached the strange object on the sand. I took it and realised immediately what it was. Leah's shoe. I remembered my words: Whoever gets to find the other shoe will be your prince charming.

Coincidence? Yeah…right.