B'Elanna quietly swore to herself as she fumbled with the tiny buttons on her red blouse. She had already had to replace the blouse once when she accidentally ripped two of the buttons off. Everything would be so much easier if her hands would just stop trembling. Successfully closing the last button, B'Elanna braced her hands against the bathroom sink and took several calming breaths. It's only Kathryn, she told herself silently. There's nothing to be nervous about. It's not like this is our first date.
She remembered their first date though, as though it had been yesterday and not months ago.
It was a few days after the incident with the Crell Moset hologram. B'Elanna shuddered at the recollection of the man. She had sought solace in the mess hall one evening, having run low on replicator rations and deciding to help herself to the tea and snacks Neelix always kept aside for the people on the night shift. She had settled on the sofa and was half-way through her tea when she heard the doors swish open behind her and someone enter. She didn't turn around, hoping whoever it was would get what they came for and then leave. She was disappointed, however.
"Trouble sleeping?" a very familiar voice asked.
"I could ask you the same," B'Elanna responded shortly. She heard the sound of liquid sloshing into a cup and guessed the captain was indulging her coffee habit, despite the late hour.
"Do you want to talk about whatever's bothering you?"
Although she knew the captain was only asking out of concern, B'Elanna felt her temper flare at the words. "You know what's bothering me, and no I don't want to talk about it," she ground out.
"You're still upset about the Cardassian hologram," the captain stated.
"Of course I'm upset!" B'Elanna shouted. "You had no right to use it on me when you knew I didn't want you to!" She hissed as hot tea spilled out of her cup and onto her hand; a result of her sudden movements. "Unless you're looking for a fight, Captain, you might as well leave. I can't just stop being angry about that no matter how many times you order me."
"I understand why you're upset, B'Elanna," the softness of Janeway's voice only infuriated B'Elanna more, "but the way I saw it, I had no other choice."
"You could have just let me die," B'Elanna muttered.
The atmosphere in the now-silent room was almost suffocating. B'Elanna stood up abruptly and carried her dishes into the kitchen, dropping them with a clatter into the sink. She began to stalk out of the room, purposely avoiding the piercing gaze she could feel coming from Janeway's direction.
"B'Elanna," the captain called to her as she was nearly out the door. "B'Elanna, you know I couldn't do that. I couldn't just let you die."
"Why?" She bit out, spinning around to face the other woman. She felt her anger rising and didn't try to restrain it. "Because I'm too valuable to the ship? Because you think no one else can do my job and that's the only reason you want to keep me around? Or were you just trying to keep Tom happy? He put you up to it, didn't he? The conniving little-"
"I did what I did because I couldn't bear to lose you, B'Elanna. Not for Tom or anyone else. Not because you're irreplaceable to the ship, but because you're irreplaceable to me."
B'Elanna was taken aback by that. She found herself staring open-mouthed at this new revelation. Janeway, for her part, seemed almost embarrassed as what had come out, as she turned away and headed towards the opposite doors with her cup clutched tightly in her hands.
"Wait." B'Elanna found her voice as the doors swished open to allow the captain to exit. "What did you mean by that?"
Kathryn paused in the doorway, turning her head towards B'Elanna but not looking fully in her direction. "You're a valuable member of the crew, Lieutenant, and we can't afford to lose you."
"That's not what I mean, and that's not what you meant." B'Elanna crossed her arms and walked slowly towards her. "Stop being the captain for a minute and tell me what you meant."
"It's been a long day-"
"Oh no you don't!" In a flash, B'Elanna was at Janeway's side and holding her arm firmly to prevent her departure. "Kathryn Janeway," she said, ignoring the glare and protests aimed at her, "are you trying to say you like me?"
Kathryn opened and shut her mouth several times before admitting quietly, "Maybe."
"Hell of a way to show it." B'Elanna half-shoved her away as she strode swiftly past her out of the room. After a few seconds, she heard running footsteps behind her and the captain calling, "B'Elanna, wait."
"Stick it, Captain. Why don't you go sob to Chakotay?"
"What?"
"We all know you've been screwing for years. What's the matter, he's not good enough for you anymore?"
"I don't know who's been telling you what, B'Elanna but there's never been anything between me and Chakotay." B'Elanna had reached a lift and was just stepping into it when she found herself gripped tightly by the shoulders and pressed backward against the wall. "Dammit, B'Elanna, will you listen to me for one minute!" The fury in her voice silenced B'Elanna's angry protests on her lips. "I know you're angry with me and you have every right to be. Hell, I would be angry with myself if I didn't know that the alternative meant losing you. You can stay mad at me for the rest of eternity if you want to but at least you're alive! I can live with that. My decision was entirely selfish, I'll admit that. But I can't lose someone else, not when I had a chance to save you."
B'Elanna knew that Kathryn was looking for a response, any sort of reaction, but she found herself incapable of doing anything but staring blankly into her captain's eyes, which were mere inches from her own. Had they always been that blue?
"I love you too," she heard a voice say, and realized with a start that it was her own.
Kathryn's eyes widened, and a small smile started to form in the corner of her mouth. "Hell of a way to show it," she whispered.
They had spent the rest of the evening talking in Kathryn's quarters, using up Kathryn's replicator rations on cinnamon tea and caramel brownies, until B'Elanna went home in the early hours of the morning far happier than she had been for days. Neither of them realized at the time that that evening would be counted as their first date.
"The time is 1000 hours." The computer dutifully informed her, dragging her from her thoughts. B'Elanna quickly touched up her make-up, slipped on some shoes, and went to meet Kathryn in the transporter room.
They had been in orbit of this alien world for almost a week now, and this was their last day of shore leave. It also happened to be the last day of the Festival of Harvest, which the crew's gracious hosts had invited them to help celebrate. B'Elanna hadn't had much of a chance to see the festival, being busy overseeing the transport of the minerals and spare parts the captain had traded for and organizing the ever-necessary repairs for Voyager. But today she had no other responsibilities and had every intention of enjoying today thoroughly. She grinned to herself and touched her pocket, feeling the lump of the object inside. Kathryn was going to enjoy today too, far more than she expected.
She was greeted with a smile when she arrived at the transporter room. "I was beginning to think I'd have to leave without you," Kathryn joked.
"You wouldn't dare," B'Elanna said. She silently admired the way Kathryn's loose green dress enhanced the red highlights of her hair. "After you." She gestured to the transporter pad, and then followed her captain up onto it. She noticed the transporter operator smiling at the two of them as Kathryn gave the order to begin the transport.
The area they beamed down to was just outside the city, but the little distance did nothing to diminish the sounds of excitement filling the air. The two women walked hand-in-hand as they entered the thick of things, trying to weave their way through the crowds while stepping on as few toes as possible. Kathryn had a fair quantity of the local currency which she split between them, so they walked slowly and admired the curiosities and delights displayed in the various market stalls. B'Elanna watched intrigued as a wood-worker carved tiny, intricate statuettes right in front of them. She was so absorbed it took a while for her to notice that Kathryn was no longer beside her. She finally spotted her at a nearby table, apparently negotiating with the woman running it. While Kathryn was occupied, B'Elanna found a little carved creature resembling a dog among the wood-worker's wares and decided to keep it for Kathryn's next birthday.
Eventually, with their arms full of goods and their faces flushed from the sun, they settled down on the shady ground beside a tree to have lunch from some of the local foods that the doctor had deemed safe. B'Elanna rested her back against the tree and Kathryn rested against her shoulder.
"I'm enjoying this," Kathryn said, lazily picking at a sandwich.
"This excursion or the food?"
"Your company," Kathryn replied. "I always enjoy your company, of course, but today has been nice."
"I know how to make this day even nicer."
"How's that?"
B'Elanna moved away from Kathryn and put her food down to free her hands. Wiping her mouth with one hand, she reached into her pocket with the other. "You know I'm not good with… sappy things and stuff," she said, earning a snort of laughter from Kathryn, "so I'm just going to say that I really like spending time with you, and nobody else makes me as happy as you do, so-" she watched Kathryn's eyes widen as she took a small velvet box from her pocket and opened it to reveal a glittery diamond ring, "Kathryn, will you marry me?"
She held her breath as she waited for any kind of response, but Kathryn just sat staring at the shiny ring.
"B'Elanna," she finally said slowly.
"Yes?"
"I'm very disappointed now."
B'Elanna's heart sank and tried desperately not to let her sudden unhappiness show on her face. "Oh," she said. "I'm sorry. I-"
"B'Elanna." She looked up and was stunned to see Kathryn take a nearly identical box out of her bag. Inside was a ring with a sparkling red gemstone on the top of it. "I was planning to propose tonight during the fireworks but you beat me to it, you-" She was cut off by B'Elanna's loud burst of laughter, which drew startled glances from everyone nearby. Kathryn tried to shush her, but was laughing too hard herself. When they finally caught their breath, she took B'Elanna's hand and squeezed it happily. "Yes, I'll marry you," she said breathlessly. In an instant, B'Elanna had flung her arms around her and toppled them both onto the ground. They kissed deeply before sitting back up and slowly, almost ceremoniously, each placing their ring on the other's finger.
"Oh, and to think I had it all planned out so romantically," Kathryn sighed. "You were going to swoon from how romantic it was."
"Klingons don't swoon," B'Elanna said. She wrapped her arms around her lover and they sat there together in quiet happiness.
That evening, after returning to the ship to relieve themselves of their souvenirs, the couple went to join the rest of the crew and most of the city's population to watch the final fireworks. They stood with clasped hands as the brightly-coloured flares danced elaborate patterns in the sky above them.
B'Elanna watched Kathryn's rapt face, glowing with the reflected light from the fireworks. She felt the ring on Kathryn's hand as she held it with her own, and she unconsciously began rubbing her left thumb over her own ring.
"Kathryn," she said, loud enough to be heard over the crackling of the rockets, "there's something I wanted to ask you."
"We're not having a stripper at the bachelorette party," Kathryn said firmly.
"That's not what I wanted," B'Elanna chuckled, "although now that you mention it…"
"What is it?"
"Why a red jewel?" She held up her hand with the proudly-displayed ring. "I thought a diamond was traditional with humans for engagement rings."
Kathryn shrugged. "I wanted something that suited you and our relationship better." B'Elanna raised an eyebrow. "It's a garnet. It's a gemstone that's said to impart courage and hope, to enhance positivity and dispel fear. It's a stone of love and passion and intimacy, a talisman of strength and protection; a Warrior's Stone." She kissed B'Elanna's blushing cheek. "And I also just like the way red looks on you."
"I'm touched," B'Elanna said softly. "But I don't need the stone to give me strength and courage. I have you."
Kathryn didn't answer. She merely pulled B'Elanna closer and kissed her deeply, wrapping her arms around her tightly, while overhead, bursts of colour filled the sky and rained down behind the blissfully oblivious couple.
