The entire crew sat in the common area waiting to reach Persephone. They were on their way to drop off some cargo and collect their pay. Wash had the ship on auto-pilot. It was just after lunch and they were all chatting pleasantly. Jayne was sharpening his favorite knife and listening to the conversation. Mal had just finished telling one of his war stories. River was wondering aimlessly around the room, first sitting here and then there. Jayne had to admit, he had warmed to the girl some. Especially after learning that she had saved Kaylee's life when the whole crew had joined in the mission to help rescue the captain from Niska. He also found the story of how she had outwitted that bounty hunter amusing. Plus, now that Inara was gone, she was Kaylee's only close female friend. Not that Kaylee and Zoe didn't get on, but Zoe was always too busy with Wash to be much company.
River was currently in the process of spinning around the room like some kind of fancy dancer. She stopped in front of his chair and stood staring at him. He put his knife away just in case she should get any funny ideas. All of a sudden, she sat down in his lap staring at him more intensely than ever. The rest of the crew went quiet. His first instinct was to stand up and dump her in the floor, but he was afraid that might set her off. Instead, he waited nervously for her to do whatever crazy thing was in her head. The doctor sat up in his chair and called to his sister, "River."
She ignored him and took Jayne's face in her hands. Then she pressed her lips firmly to his. Jayne jumped out of the chair as though he'd been scalded.
"River!" Simon yelled jumping from his chair and rushing to his sister, apparently more surprised than anyone.
Jayne moved so that the table was between him and the Moon Brain. Simon bent down and helped River up and then turned her around and made her sit in the chair Jayne had vacated. He knelt in front of her and with a gentle voice asked, "River, what were you thinking?"
She seemed genuinely confused by everyone's reaction.
"Never kissed a boy before," she answered quietly.
"Well you can't just go around ambushin' them like that! Especially when they're already involved with someone else," Jayne barked.
Kaylee walked up behind Simon.
"Besides that, River, remember what we talked about?"
River looked up into Jayne's eyes and quietly chanted, "Beware of boys with eyes of blue, they'll kiss you once then ask for two."
"What?" Jayne asked, turning to look at Kaylee.
She giggled, "Oh it's just a rhyme we used to say growing up back home." She started reciting it and River fell in with her. Together they said, "Beware of boys with eyes of blue, they'll kiss you once then ask for two. Beware of boys with eyes of green, they'll kiss you once and then turn mean. Beware of boys with eyes of brown, they'll kiss you once then turn you down. Beware of boys with eyes of gray, they'll kiss you once then turn away."
Jayne snorted, moved around the table, pulled River back up out of his chair, and sat down.
"I'm glad I have blue eyes," Mal said with a smirk.
"Why's that?" Kaylee asked.
"Well of all of those, asking for two sounds the best."
"Maybe the four of us should come up with a similar rhyme for the ladies," Wash joked. "I'm sure Doc could wax very poetic if he wanted to."
"I think for the type of thing we need, it would be better to ask Jayne," the doctor replied while relaxing back into his seat.
"If you want to go one breathing, I'd strongly advised against it," Zoe warned with a glare.
"Hmph. Just like a woman," Jayne said. "Always a double standard."
"I'm sorry! Could you repeat that? I didn't hear you," Kaylee replied.
Jayne simply took his knife back out and resumed sharpening it. He knew she had heard him perfectly the first time; he also knew better than to say it again. There were some challenges a man just did not accept, especially when a woman was involved.
The alarm indicating final approach sounded, and Wash jumped up to take the ship in manually. As he walked by Jayne he murmured, "Saved by the bell."
As they were about to unload the cargo, Kaylee walked into the hold.
"Can I come?"
The captain looked up at her. "Sure. Should be a simple enough drop. We just need to get paid and get off this rock."
She picked up one of the smaller crates and fell in behind Zoe. Jayne brought up the rear frowning. He didn't much care for the idea of her going. They had more than a few enemies on Persephone. It was bad enough that they were delivering the cargo to Badger.
They arrived at the rendezvous point, a grimy little alley between a tavern and a hotel, to find Badger and his men already waiting.
"Ah, Malcolm Reynolds, right on time. I trust all my property is here."
Mal sat the two crates he'd been carrying down. "It's all there. Feel free to have a look."
Badger motioned for his goons to open the crates. They were full of spare parts, none of which fit Serenity.
"All here," one of the men grunted.
Badger tossed the captain a bag full of coins. Mal counted them and appeared satisfied.
"Badger, it's always a pleasure doing business with you."
As they were heading back to the ship an over-dressed, clearly rich boy met them. He was the type of man Jayne referred to as a "pretty boy." He was wearing an expensive looking suit of gray cloth, clearly tailor-made. His hair and nails were groomed to perfection.
"Well, well, if it isn't the illustrious Captain Reynolds and his crew of rabble."
"Hello there, Atherton," the captain replied nonchalantly.
"Atherton? That rings a bell," Jayne said staring at the man. "Hey, Mal, isn't that the fella..."
"That I taught a lesson to in a sword fight? Yeah, that'd be him."
Jayne was going to say, "who stabbed you in a sword fight," but he didn't blame the captain for interrupting and reminding the guy who had come out on top in their last meeting.
"I hear Inara is no longer flying with you, Captain. I suppose you were incapable of living up to her exacting standards," Atherton sneered. "Ah," he continued, catching sight of Kaylee, "yes, I remember this young woman from last time as well. All dressed up, but clearly out of her element. Yes, you looked quite pretty, Dear. Have you taken over as the ship whore now that Inara's gone?"
Jayne started towards the man, but Kaylee got to him first. She dealt him a resounding slap across the face.
"Don't you call Inara a whore!"
That was just like Kaylee. She was more angry over the man calling her friend a whore, even though it was technically true, than over him calling her one.
"How dare you? Little tramp!"
He hit Kaylee right in the eye hard enough to knock her out cold. She crumpled to the ground at his feet. The captain pulled his pistol, causing the man to take a few steps back and giving Jayne just enough room to get to him without trampling Kaylee. Jayne liked the idea of riddling him with bullets as well as the captain, but just now the idea of beating him to death was even more appealing. The first blow landed on his left side and Jayne felt several ribs break. The next one was in the stomach. Atherton doubled over and Jayne grabbed his head in both hands. He had every intention of snapping his neck until he heard Kaylee starting to come around. He didn't want the first thing she saw on waking up to be him killing a man. Instead he hit the man as hard as he could in the temple, knocking him out just as the coward had done to Kaylee.
He turned around and squatted next to her. "Are you alright?"
"Yeah, I think so. He hit me!" She looked around Jayne and saw Atherton lying on the ground. "Did you kill him?" She whispered.
"No. He's just out."
Kaylee seemed to relax a bit. Jayne took her face in his hands and examined it. She was going to have a black eye.
"Jayne, you get Kaylee back to the ship and get some ice on that. We'll deal with this," Mal said, nudging Atherton with the tip of his boot.
"What are you going to do with him?" Kaylee asked nervously.
"Nothing, Little Kaylee," Mal replied gently, "just dump him in a gutter where he belongs."
Jayne stood and bent down to scoop Kaylee up in his arms.
"I think I can walk."
"And I think you're not going to," he growled.
He carried her all the way to the infirmary. The doctor was already in there, checking his supplies.
"What happened?" He asked. Taking in Kaylee's eye which was already starting to swell and bruise.
"That ruttin' coward the captain nearly killed in a sword fight hit her."
"Well," Simon said looking over the injury and gently probing it, "there doesn't appear to be an orbital fracture. I'm afraid there's not much to do but put some ice on it to keep the swelling down. I can give you something for the pain."
"Not nothing too strong," Kaylee replied, "It's not that bad."
Later, Jayne sat with Kaylee in her bunk holding a towel full of ice on her eye. She was lying with her head in his lap.
"Why didn't you kill him?" She asked quietly.
"Trust me, I wanted to. I almost did. I just knew you wouldn't like it."
Kaylee smiled, "You're a good man, Jayne Cobb."
He leaned down and gently kissed her forehead. "Not yet, but I'm getting there. But if we ever see that guy again and he so much as looks at you funny..."
Kaylee reached up to cup his cheek with her hand. "You have my permission to beat him up a bit worse than you did today."
"Hmph, I might just send you back to the boat with the captain next time."
A/N: I hold these truths to be self-evident: you don't call a man's lady a whore in his presence and you certainly don't put your hands on her. Especially if that man happens to be 6'4" with a towering temper. I think Kaylee makes Jayne feel like Jack Nicholson's character in "As Good As It Gets"-she makes him want to be a better man. That's why he didn't kill Atherton. Also the scene at the beginning wasn't enough to stand on it's own as a story, but it sure made me giggle when I imagined it. The whole wanting to be a better man thing is also why Jayne didn't yell at River or Simon.
