Title: Learning Your Lesson
Disclaimer: Glee is a trademarked brand owned by Ryan Murphy and Fox. Any material used belongs to the aforementioned parties. This material is only used for recreational purposes and I receive no monetary or material rewards from using it. Please don't sue me.
Finn has been staring at the same question for the past five minutes, but the text has neither rearranged itself into an easier question nor enlightened him with abrupt understanding.
Why do you want to join the Army?
An innocent enough question, probably not meant to invoke a total re-evaluation of a person's entire existence, but Finn's never responded to things the way most people would.
'Why do I want to join the Army?' Finn ponders, taping his pencil in a wordless beat. Well that should be easy; he wants to join to restore the Hudson name. But he only found out his dad's name needed restoring because Mr. Shue told his Mom he wanted to join the Army in the first place. Which, Finn realized suddenly, only happened because Mr. Shue asked him to help pick out a ring for Ms. P. And that only happened…
'But that's not how it went down,' Finn reflects, 'I need a-'
"Do you have a piece of paper?" He asks, turning towards the recruitment agent who sits at the front of the room, waiting patiently for Finn to answer the short questionnaire.
"Sure kid," The burly officer reaches into a draw to the right of the desk and pulls out a few pieces of loose-leaf paper.
"Thanks,"
Settling awkwardly into the straight-backed chair, Finn heads his paper carefully in large block letters: the way Mr. Schuester always taught them to.
"I Want to Join the Army Because…
1. …Being fought over by two girls isn't nearly as cool as they make it look in the Archie comics."
And that's where it all starts, isn't it? Back when being cool was like crack, and the only thing Finn had to worry about was keeping a 2.5 GPA so he could keep in sports.
But even then, it has always been like this: it's always been Quinn vs. Rachel.
(Kinda sad when you realize that for all their fighting, neither of them really won)
Continuing on, Finn skips a line, draws a number two, and keeps writing.
2. …No matter what your super-hot Catholic girlfriend tells you, you can't actually get a girl pregnant in a hot tub."
When Quinn pulls Finn aside that Tuesday, eyes red with tears, Finn expected her to be upset about how hard cheerleading was that day or to beg him once again to quit Glee Club.
He definitely didn't expect her to be knocked up.
Finn isn't sure how to react to the news; is he supposed to be happy? Sad? Maybe if this was happening about ten years from now he'd know what to do.
But Quinn is sobbing like being pregnant is the worst thing that could've ever happened to her, and it probably is. Her parents are, like, super Christian or Catholic or whatever and Finn's pretty sure that being pregnant and not married at the same time is like combining peanut butter and turkey sandwiches: a huge no-no.
And what's Finn supposed to do with a baby? He can barely keep track of himself, and it's not as if he's had any sort of experience of having a father himself! And oh. shit. Can you graduate high school as a teen dad? Isn't that against the rules or something?
As these thoughts race through his head, it never occurs to Finn to question the way Quinn claims she got pregnant.
Because it's Quinn, and Finn's never gotten further than second base with her, and he failed Sex Ed so it's not as if he's any expert on baby-making, so of course believes her hot-tub story.
(Why wouldn't he?)
3. …Being popular won't make you feel better about ditching your friends"
Being the starting quarterback is the only thing keeping Finn from receiving a slushy facial.
So it's really no surprise that when he's forced to choose, he picks Football over Glee Club.
And maybe that makes Finn a bad person, flaking on his friends like that (Finn certainly feels like one), but the other guys are going to make the same choice, so it's not as if they can harp on him for it.
And he likes the Glee kids well enough, and the Cheerios are lucky enough not to be forced into the same decision, but they shouldn't expect any guys but Kurt and Artie to show up.
(He's very surprised when he's proven wrong)
And eventually, Tanaka gets over whatever weird grudge he was holding against Mr. Shue, and Finn gets to come back to Glee. The Spanish Teacher welcomes him back happily; without resentment and never questioning his motives.
(Looking back, Finn thinks he's the only one who actually did)
4. ...Jesse St. James is an asswipe. And you can quote that."
'It's something about his face,' Finn decides one afternoon during Glee practice. It's only Jesse's second day at McKinley, but Finn's already decided that he doesn't like the senior.
And it has nothing to do with the way the curly-haired, overly smug, soft faced transfer student insults everyone in New Directions/his general vincinity, or how he has a critism for every one of Mr. Shue's decisions.
'It's just his face,' Finn thinks stubbornly, refusing to even admit the truth even to himself, lest Jesse discover how quickly he's gotten under Finn's skin.
(And it definitely has nothing to do with the way St. Douche is always draped across Rachel's tiny shoulders or kissing her in very public places where Finn just can't help but notice and cringe)
(Nothing at all)
…
…
…
…
(Shut up)
5. …You really shouldn't waste your first time on the first chick who offers because it'll just feel wrong, and she's probably only after the head Cheerio spot anyway."
Admittedly, it only happens because Finn was jealous.
(Now that he's thinking about it, a lot of problems seem to occur whenever Finn's feeling jealous)
6. ...They're called 'Underdogs' for a reason. A good reason."
It's not as though Finn's never lost before. Until this season, McKinley lost every football game they played, and once upon a time, Puck regularly pwned him in Mario Kart.
It's not as though Finn's never lost at anything. Just never something that meant so much to him.
And this isn't the way the story goes! The team of misfits that are full of heart are supposed to band together in a touching Kodak moment before annihilating the competition and taking home the gold!
Well, Finn definitely doesn't feel golden. He feels closer to one of those angry rain clouds that Puck/Bowser always hits him with that shock people and shrink their cars.
'Unless you can pass it off to someone else,' Finn amends mentally as he broods during the silent bus ride home.
And that's not going to happen, because all the other Glee kids have already been shrunk, and even if they hadn't, that would just make Finn feel even worse. And Vocal Adrenalin's SPF-whatever sunscreen they have to wear all the time is probably lightning proof, those cheating bastards.
'This sucks,' Finn thinks sullenly.
7. …Praying to a sandwich is weird. It doesn't matter if you get what you ask for."
At first, it was sort of a joke. The image of Jesus might have been burned into the bread of his grilled cheese, but Finn doesn't really expect his prayers to be answered.
Maybe that's why he's so astonished when they actually are.
And it's almost frightening, the way Finn is suddenly super religious. He's sure the other Glee members are eyeing him suspiciously when he's not looking, but they don't know what Finn knows.
It never really occurs to Finn that he's being selfish with his wishes until Puck reveals how he's been praying for the hospital-bound Burt.
'I don't know what it looks like to everyone else, but I thought we were sort of family.' The words he'd told Kurt earlier this week seem to leave a bitter taste in his mouth.
Family. Yeah, he's definitely playing that role to justice.
Which leads to his next point:
8. ...Family watches out for family. Even if that family comes in the form of your fashionista step-brother who spent most of last year totally in like with you. And especially if you're already overdue in the selflessness department."
When his mom and Burt announce their engagement, Finn is actually pretty psyched.
(Yeah, he knows. He didn't expect to be so accepting either)
And as excited as Finn is to welcome Burt into the family, it's becoming increasingly obvious that Kurt hasn't been receiving equal treatment.
"Could you have a word with Azimio and Karofsky about harassing me without damaging my Gaga outfit? Are you serious? Do you know how difficult it is with those guys? They already think we're boyfriends."
"He is the right guard. He gets pissed at me, I will get sacked more times than Jay Cutler."
Its not fair to Kurt, Finn being so wishy-washy all the time. So Finn decides to man up and get over himself, selecting Bruno Mars on his iPod before cranking the volume.
(The water smile Kurt gives him as they dance makes Finn think all those painful hours spent learning to waltz were worth it)
9. …Lying to your girlfriend about the status of your virginity will eventually kick up a shitstorm of drama that will suck really badly."
Given, it's probably mostly Finn's fault.
And Rachel's.
And a little of Santana's.
Actually, scratch that. It's a lot of Santana's fault.
And really! Was it too much to ask that Santana keep her trap shut about any sex they may-or-may-not-have engaged in?
Plus, he totally called it: Rachel blew the entire situation completely out of proportion. It's not even as though she's upset about the sex, she's just pissed that it was with Santana.
'She'll get over it by Monday,' Finn thinks as he's turned away from the Berry residence by Rachel's dads.
And Finn should get half-credit for this. Rachel is over it… just out of guilt for her cheating, not any kind of forgiveness on Rachel's part.
(In the big book of lame things people do to each other, cheating is definitely in the top ten)
(In retrospect, maybe Rachel deserves half-credit too. She did admit her mistake, Finn's just not in the mood to hear her excuses)
10. …Even if you breakup with the aforementioned girlfriend, it won't hurt any less when you have to watch her sing a love song with the guy she cheated on you with."
Need You Now is officially on Finn Hudson's never-listen-to-again list. Even when threatened with death or DDR: Mind Control Edition or something terrible like that.
But Rachel isn't his girlfriend anymore; Finn broke up with her, so he has no right to act like a jealous boyfriend.
(Doesn't stop him from declaring her off-limits the moment Puck corners him by the trophy case)
11. …When you share a room with your gay brother, you will eventually walk in on him making out with his equally gay boyfriend."
"Hey Kurt!" Finn shouts brightly, charging into the basement. "There's a Buffy marathon on TV and Mom and I wanted to know if- AHHHH!"
It's Kurt and Blaine. They're sprawled across Kurt's bed and Finn's just walked in on the two of them mid lip-lock. And Finn's come a long way in the 'good brother' category, but he still isn't quite prepared for this.
Dropping the bowl of popcorn he'd been caring, Finn gives a shout, clasping his large hands over his eyes.
"Finn!" Kurt's voice rings out from the left, annoyed and embarrassed. "Get out of here!"
"I can't!" Finn insists. "I don't know where the door is; my eyes are closed!"
"Turn around, take two steps to the right and watch the stairs."
Finn follows the instructions hastily, leaving cheddar popcorn strewn across the white shag carpet and only tripping over his feet a little bit.
'This is sooo payback for all the times Kurt walked in on Rachel and me kissing," Finn thinks.
"Mom! Can you use Clorox to bleach your brain?"
Number twelve happens almost half a year after his last lesson, and that's a pretty big jump considering that Finn's only eighteen, but he doesn't feel as though he's skipped anything. And his list is getting pretty long (Finn's sure that the recruitment officer is secretly playing solitaire on his cell phone) but he doesn't bother to stop.
12. …Even though your prude girlfriend is dangling sex in your face like a shiny set of drumsticks, you don't have to accept."
It hurts more than Finn thought it would.
"I've got to get this over with before opening night,"
'This must be how the chicks on Teen Mom and prostitutes feel,' Finn grouses angrily.
(When he sees Santana the next day, he gives her a respectful nod that means a bit more than a general what's-up-person-I-know. She doesn't know that, but it makes Finn feel better)
13. …You aren't always the most talented person in the room."
The thing about Blaine Anderson is that Finn liked him a lot more when he was at Dalton. It starts way back in the first week of senior year when Blaine's performance of It's Not Unusual ends with stunned silence and a flaming purple piano.
These unspoken feelings really make themselves apparent sometime around when the Troubletones were created. And sure, Blaine was only trying to help, backing Finn up like that, but Finn still resents him for it.
After all, Finn's being leading New Directions longer than Blaine's even been a student at McKinley, so he'll say this as nice as possible, but Blaine Anderson can take his colorful bowties and stack of solos and unwanted opinions and keep them out of Finn's way.
…
When Blaine storms out in a very Rachel-like manner, (seriously man, they're just like siblings) Finn follows him because it's kinda his job as co-captain.
He didn't expect Blaine to be able to box or that his imaginary brain-target is Finn's face. And after it's been pointed out, yeah, Finn's been kind of a douchebag.
His jealousy has always caused tons of problems.
(This time though, it's the Troubletones who need to watch out)
14. …Hearing that your war hero dad was not-so-heroic tends to make you wanna re-evaluate your life choices."
The Army. It's the only thing Finn thinks he might be good at so he confides in Mr. Shue the first chance he gets, despite the fact they're in the middle of Zale's. And Mr. Shue sort of quirks his eyebrows and gives Finn a weird look, but at the time, Finn hardly even notices. He figures that Mr. Shue just expected him to want to go to college like everyone expects him to.
Well, he certainly notices when his parents have been called in for an impromptu parent-teacher-Ms. Pillsbury conference.
And at first, Finn's upset with Mr. Shuester for betraying his confidence, and then again with his mom for not supporting his decision. What's so terrible about a kid wanting to follow in his Dad's footsteps?
(As it turns out, a whole lot)
When he proposes to Rachel later that week, it has a lot to do with hanging onto one of the only constants in his life.
(Does that mean it wasn't for the right reasons?)
15. …So will hearing about a former teammates attempted suicide."
The news comes at a time when Finn could really use a distraction. He's hasn't spoken to Rachel all day, and every time he sees a girl walking down the hall in red heels, he flinches uncontrollably.
Finn's so preoccupied that he doesn't even notice Kurt until the other boy is practically on top of him.
"Come to yell at me for fighting with Rachel?" Finn questions, stuffing a textbook angrily into his locker. "I'm really not in the mood right now Kurt, so if you could-" It's only then that Finn's brain catches up with his eyes and he really, really looks at Kurt.
His step-brother's eyes are rimmed red from crying, but when he speaks, his voice is steady.
"Karofsky tried to hang himself," he says.
Finn lets out a gasp of air that seems to take a few years of his life with it. What?
"Why would-" He starts, but Kurt cuts him off, shaking his head.
"I don't know, I only just found out," Kurt seems to teeter for a moment, as if waiting for another question, but after a few seconds, he continues.
"I'm gonna go and find Blaine, okay?"
"Yeah," Finn nods distractedly, "I'll… yeah"
As Kurt continues down the hall, Finn does the same, but in the opposite direction.
Finding Rachel sounds good right about now.
(Finn's reminded again of just how intelligent Kurt is)
16. …Finn winning a dance contest = something strange is happening."
Personally, Finn suspected the zombie apocalypse.
As it turns out, it's just another one of Mr. Shue's 'feel-good-about-yourself-through-song' schemes that are either works of genius or epic fails.
But Finn got to wear a badass white suit, so maybe this one falls into the first category.
('Oh well,' he thinks, placing his zombie survival kit back into its spot on the top shelf of his closet)
17. …As impossible as it might seem, Laryngitis isn't the only thing that can make Rachel Berry flunk a song."
It's an old standby, 'Don't Rain On My Parade', and Finn's heard it so many times by now that he almost knows all the words. He can still remember the epic rendition Rachel preformed at sectionals so many years ago, so at the beginning of the audition, he's feeling pretty confident.
After the first crack in her voice, Finn thinks it was just a fluke because everyone gets nerves sometimes.
After the second, Finn's mouth is hanging open in absolute shock and he's sure that if Blaine and Kurt weren't quite so tactful, they'd be doing the same.
Rachel Berry just choked during the biggest audition of her life.
(He's never seen something so sad)
18. …Rachel's got lots of tears. There are her 'acting' tears, her 'the main character in a movie/book died', her 'This-song-is-beautiful-and-I-sound-awesome-singing-it, and her 'I'm-so-angry-I'm-crying-to-let-off-steam' tears. Then there are her 'heart-broken-sobbing tears' and I never want to see them again."
As usual, Finn Hudson stands corrected.
'Cause this? This takes the cake.
And maybe the pie and browines too.
On the way home, Finn is walking on eggshells, watching anxiously out of the corner of his eye for the inevitable waterworks. But Rachel doesn't cry or sniffle or talk or do much of anything really.
This only serves to make Finn even more worried.
...
When he comes out of the shower two hours later, he finds her sitting at her desk staring at her poster of dreams. She hears him coming and turns and stands, opening her mouth as if to say something uplifting, and bursts into noisy tears.
Finn steps closer, taking her into his arms without a word as she sobs brokenly.
They sit like that for the rest of the night.
(Finn's never heard of anyone dying from a broken heart before. But that means nothing, because this is Rachel Berry, and she does nothing but exceed expectations)
19. …Sometimes, the only way to hang on to people is to let them go."
In the end, it's Finn who has to mail in the acceptance letter to NYADA in the middle of the night while dressed like a carjacker because Rachel herself has refused to do so. He's forced to take such drastic measures after Rachel decided to stay in Lima for another year. And maybe Finn should feel grateful that his fiancé is willing to make such sacrifices, but he just feels like that time he drank a whole carton of expired milk.
Rachel Berry not dropping everything to go to New York? It's like the Ohio version of 'Invasion of the Body Snatchers'.
So on the way to the train station, Finn lies and tells Rachel they're headed towards their non-existent wedding just to get her in the car.
"We are just going to sit here and let go. Will you do that? Will you surrender with me?"
It's the hardest thing he's ever had to say, but Finn never once regrets it. Rachel's done a lot for him over the past three years.
(It's about time he started repaying the favor)
Thirty minutes after he started, Finn Hudson now possesses a ragged piece of notebook paper that basically sums up his entire high school career. It comes together in a way Finn hadn't expected: it's a reflection. A list of the many lessons he's learned over the years; an essay that any English teacher would be proud of.
However, he still hasn't managed to answer the question he'd been given in the first place.
But Rachel's probably one the smartest people he knows, so he chooses her words to write down, almost as though she blesses his decision to join the Army.
...
In comparison, the rest of the paper is easily filled out. Grinning sheepishly, Finn finally hands in the questionnaire, the loose-leaf paper stapled to the back.
Wordlessly, the officer, who has waited an extraordinarily long time for this, begins pursuing Finn's scribblings with much interest. Even from where he sits, Finn can see the black marks from the many times he misspelled and respelled 'Laryngitis'.
"You're really something, kid." The officer says finally.
"I've been told, sir,"
Finn stands, stretches his legs, and walks out of the office unworried.
20. …Because being a part of something special makes you special."
So, here is my first Glee fic. It took me about tweleve hours to right, and while typing, I listened to the 200+ Glee songs I have on iTunes. If finished the last sentence to the final notes of 'Don't Stop Believing', so I think that's a good sign. Hope you enjoy! -Cadid423
