AN: Hey guys! This is my first fanfic, so... yeah. :) I was just thinking, what would happen if Juvia's idea of the relationships in FT were real, and this was the result. Hopefully my attempt at a crack did not fail too much. :/ This contains traditional parings, crack parings, and a smidgen of yaoi. XD Reviews would be awesome!

Disclaimer: I do not, in any way, own Fairy Tail or the Back to the Future franchise. If I did... well, let's not think about that...


Pandemonium!

It was a normal day at the greatest guild in Fiore, Fairy Tail.

Well, as normal as it could possibly get.

Lucy and Levy were chatting about an interesting book, Macao, Cana, Wakaba, and Makarov were drinking, Gajeel was in the corner eating iron with Lily, Mira was planning out her next matchmaking scheme while serving tables, Elfman was being 'manly', Happy was wrapping a secret present for Carla, who was sitting with Wendy, Erza was having 'alone time'(rather, she was making out) with her strawberry cake, Lisanna was helping her sister, the Raijinshuu were fawning over Laxus, Gildarts was sitting at the bar, Bisca and Alzack were sitting next to each other, denying the other's existence in their personal love lives, Jet and Droy were dreaming of Levy (and of killing a certain metal freak), and, most normal of all, Natsu and Gray were fighting while Juvia watched, drooling.

'Gray-sama is so wonderful!' Juvia thought as she watched the fight in slow-mo, burning all pictures of Gray into her mind so she could re-create them later. Whatever that meant, it made sense only to her.

This 'normalness' was suddenly interrupted by the doors to the guild swinging open, to reveal five figures. Strangely, even though it was around high noon and sunny outside, the people were in complete shadow, as the author deemed it necessary for her borrowed characters to have a big entrance.

Gray and Natsu stopped fighting, and the whole guild, noticing the lack of punching and heavy breathing sounds turned to look at the newcomers.

To maintain the dramatic presence, a pregnant Silence filled the room.

Levy, who's book sense happened to notice the capital 'S' on the word 'Silence', and recognize the literal meaning of the expression, frantically called out "Everyone, a baby's on the way! SOMEONE CALL 911!"

"Oi shrimp, you're pregnant?" Gajeel asked incredulously while eyeing Jet and Droy who were glaring at himself.

"No! It's Silence's baby! COME ON, THERE'S NO TIME TO WASTE!"

The Silence quickly got bigger, so now it was noticeable to everyone, who started panicking, throwing things around, not sure what to do, as usually happens.

Mira calmly picked up the phone receiver, and dialed three digits. (1)


After the ambulance had left to take the Silence to the hospital, everyone was calm enough to remember the strangers at the door. For some reason, they hadn't moved.

"Well?" shouted someone from the guild.

"We have arrived to inform our objects of affection of certain things." said a smooth male voice, with a glint coming from where their face was while they moved their hand, almost as if to push something up. *sparkle*

"Like what?" inquired Lucy, with some recognition in her tone.

"LOVE..." said a female voice, her head slightly tilting over to her right.

"We are sick and tired of having to wait around for them to realize, and are ready to proclaim our feelings." This voice was also female, but came from a younger person, even though her words were mature. Juvia gasped a little.

Another woman laughed.

"And now we are finally here to make our dreams hopefully become reality." said another male, his light hair slightly gleaming.

Gray was startled. "It couldn't be..."

"LIGHTS!" *clap clap*

The shadows disappeared to reveal the five figures; included was a handsome man with blue sunglasses and orange hair, a woman with hearts in her eyes to match her pink hair, another pinkette, (only she was quite young) a woman with long black hair who winked, and a man with white hair, sporting a smirk, eyes slanted.

"Who the hell are you?" someone convenient yelled.

A loud, slightly annoyed voice came from nowhere: "For the idiot that doesn't even have a name or relevance in this story (or any other), these people are Loke, Sherry, Meredy, Ultear, and Lyon. Cheers!"

Everyone let out a shocking gasp.

Before Silence could get knocked up again, Lyon spoke: "BREAK!"

Loke moved first, and Lucy barely noticed that he was coming her way until he was in front of her, inches from her nose, sitting on the table she was at. "Why don't we go somewhere private where can be alone, …. love." He smirked, pushing his glasses up his nose. *sparkle*

"How did you get here, and why are you with THEM, anyway?" Lucy said, ignoring his little nickname for her, despite blushing a little.

"I can go in and out of the celestial world as I please, you should know that by now Lucy-san." He claimed, ignoring her other, more important question. *sparkle*

She huffed, crossing her arms.

"Dinner?" *sparkle*

"No."

"Dessert?" *sparkle sparkle*

"NO."

"Kiss?" *sparkle sparkle sparkle*

"NO!"

"I'll take that as a yes," and he proceeded to lean towards her. They would've kissed, if the author hadn't supported Nalu more than Lolu, and if this hadn't happened:

"As if she would go out with you, catnip!" A boy with pink hair jumped on the table and punched Loke so hard that he fell off of it, practically knocking him out.

"Thanks, Natsu!" Lucy said cheerfully.

"Lucy, you praised me! OH MY GOD! Do you know how much I love you? I have loved you since I first laid eyes on you, even that at the time you were fan-girling over Bora, who's lower than Justin Bieber! MARRY ME!" Natsu exclaimed, being totally OOC while Lucy stuttered. He took her by the shoulders fiercely, and also would've kissed her, if a certain take-over mage hadn't walked behind Lucy.

He released the blonde and took his head in his hands. "But then there's also Lisanna, my childhood lover, who has returned from the dead and parallel words to complicate our relationship further! Oh, the AGONY! The agony that Mashima puts me through, why can't he just figure out if he likes Nalu or Nali so I don't have to think as much and have personal drama and conflict with myself!" WHO KNEW THAT ONE LITTLE LETTER COULD HAVE SUCH AN IMPACT ON MY FUTURE!"(2)

Meanwhile, After he spoke his command, Lyon had proceeded to walk over to Juvia, with Sherry following on his heels.

"Juvia my darling, your beauty is unparalleled, greater than the sun or the moon!" Juvia blushed madly, and Lyon went down on one knee. "I love you! Will you be my wife?"

Before Juvia could respond, the pink figure behind him fell down and broke into tears. "LYON-SAMAAAAAAAAA!1 HOW COULD YOU!" Juvia tried to console Sherry, but she only got punched in the face, and deemed a 'love rival'. Well, what goes around comes around.

Lying on the ground and slightly dazed, Juvia looked over at Gray, and fainted, either because of the hit, or because Gray was in nothing but... scratch that, he was in nothing period. "Gray-samaaaaa..."

Gray, noticing Lyon's presence, had stripped subconsciously, and only noticed he was naked when Ultear slinked her way in front of him, a smirk on her face, her eyes pointing downward. (She was followed by Meredy, who looked as if she wanted to tell Ultear something.)

Gray looked where she was looking, screamed, searched for 000.2 seconds, and put his underwear back on. Pretending that it hadn't happened, he asked her, "What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to confess to my love, just like everyone else, didn't you here what we said at the door?"

"Yeah, well, why don't you go do that." Gray stated uncomfortably, backing up the slightest bit. She leaned in closer.

"Oh, but I am already," Ultear winked and licked her lips. "You should know by now that I'm in love with you, Gray." (Meredy slunk into the corner where she started to cry.)

Gray, dense as he is, stared and her, shocked.

Ultear's simple statement attracted the attention of three other females, who, with their sharp ears, could not miss anything.

Lucy, Lisanna, and Juvia (who had awoken when she heard the words 'Gray' and 'love' put together) walked over to Ultear and Gray slowly.

When the three were assembled by the aforementioned two, Lisanna spoke.

"Well, I guess I can't hide it anymore..."

"Me neither," sighed Lucy.

"Love rivals..." Juvia accused, glaring at the three girls.

They all pounced on top of Gray, crying, "WE LOVE YOU GRAAAAYYYYY! (Juvia: -SAMAAAAAA!)

Gray was even more dumbfounded after these confessions, more surprised by Lucy, Lisanna, and Ultear's than Juvia's, but whatever, point is, he didn't say anything, He just tried to shake the four girls off of him. (Ultear had gotten pissed that she was missing out and jumped on him too.)

When he succeeded, he made a run for it, but they all leaped on him again, and Juvia put him in her water lock, making sure that he had air to breathe, and that the lock was magic-proof, so he couldn't freeze it. The girls then started to back off from each other, and made a circle in the guild hall, each one glaring at the other three.

Mira, noticing that this was the kind of love rivalry she hadn't seen in a long time, (four girls fighting for the same guy is exciting, after all) took this opportunity to call out "You are allowed to use magic to fight for Gray's love. Last one standing wins the prize..."

She wheeled out a big... thing, and flipped a switch. The 'thing' lit up, with red, pink, and gold LED lights; in the center written in blue was:

"GRAY'S HEART!" Mira giggled.

Lisanna and Lucy tensed, Ultear smirked, Juvia clenched her fists, trying not to faint, and Gray, poor, poor Gray, still locked in water nearly had a heart attack. He still couldn't speak from the shock of the confessions. (The way things are going, he'll probably be mute for the rest of his life!)

"Take your positions!" shouted Mira, and the girls complied. Dark auras were surrounding each of them, Juvia's being the largest. It was so huge that it consumed some guild members around her, who fled, screaming like 4-year-olds to the other side of the room where the rest of the guild was, sitting on bleachers. Makarov was selling popcorn, while Loke, Natsu, Lyon, and Meredy were watching open-mouthed and slightly crying, shocked at their beloved's attachment to the ice mage. (Sherry was there too, however, being happy that Juvia was in love with Gray, was cheering her on, snacking on pink licorice.)

"When I say 'draw,' you can start to fight, okay?" Mira smiled sweetly. All four girls nodded, not breaking their focus.

"Three!"

Western music played in the background, like something from a Clint Eastwood movie. ("We're going back, to the FUTURE!" Someone shouted.)

"Two!"

Happy, compacted into the shape of a ball, rolled across the fighting area; he managed to get all the way across before he stopped rolling; he then fled frantically to the stands, where Mira handed him a fish. ('What a poor excuse for a tumbleweed,' Carla thought while shaking her head.)

"One!"

The girls readied themselves, Lisanna tensing, Lucy reaching for her keys, Ultear pulling out her arc of time ball while Juvia assumed her stance.

"DR-"

"WAAIIITTT!"

The four girls looked over, slightly shocked, recognizing their beloved's cry.

How exactly did Gray get his voice back? Well, let's take a journey to about two minutes earlier...


Two minutes earlier:

'They're going to fight,' Gray thought, 'over me? Mira's auctioning off my heart just like that? (And she has a six foot high sign representing it? ? WTF?) I don't even have a say in the matter? But, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but...'

This speech of high intelligence continued until his outburst. Let's go back, shall we?

"Yes Gray?" Mira asked, as if this whole thing was normal.

"I have something to say!" screamed the distraught Gray.

"Well, spit it out!" some random, but helpful person shouted.

Gray gulped. "Juvia?"

The dark aura around her vanished. Her Gray-sama was calling her! This could be the life changing moment she ad been waiting for! "Yes, Gray-sama?" she said while smiling, the happiest person in earthland.

"Can you get me out of this thing?"

Silence. (She was not pregnant, but she was present.)

Juvia held back tears. "Yes, Gray-sama..." she consented, highly disappointed, and released him.

"The truth is," Gray said nervously while scratching his head. "I don't really like girls..."

Lucy, Lisanna, Ultear, and Juvia froze, eyes wide. (Reedus paint a picture afterward where they all had been struck by lightning, in the shape of the word, 'gay.') Everyone else stared, except for Mira, who smiled.

As he stated this new found information, he glanced in Lyon's direction, who immediately blushed.

Gray started to slowly walk, which turned into a quick run, going towards Lyon. When Gray reached him, he lifted him up off of the bench, grabbed the back of his head, and started making out with him. Lyon backed up, unconsciously kissing him back, until he slammed into the bar counter, where they had been heading.

Gray released his lock on Lyon's lips when the latter flinched in pain, and then looked around at the onlookers sheepishly.

"Well, now that that's in the open..." he said.

"I think I might be bi." proclaimed Lyon, who was slightly dazed.

Silence appeared again. (Actually, her sister had come to join the fun, but their identical, so.. .yeah.)

Then, all hell broke loose.

Lucy, Lisanna and Ultear had pounced on Lyon, all having a huge catfight over Gray. Sherry was there too, half protecting Lyon from the girls' nails, half weeping because of Lyon's sexuality status, and also wanting to fight Gray for Lyon's love. Meredy was doing the same as Sherry, but for Ultear, and the fact the she was straight. Natsu was watching the blonde and the whitette fight, and preparing to fight Gray, but his emotions over the two L's were making him confused, especially with this new development in their relationship. ("CURSE YOU MASHIMA!") Loke was in the corner sulking ("I got dumped for a gay stripper...?") while sobbing, and Gray was still standing there, looking bemused, and slightly scared at what his existence had caused. The guild members looked on, some fighting with each other, some discussing the new information. Erza handed Mira some money, who smiled sweetly, happy at the outcome of everything, and that her prediction was right.

Juvia was still shocked at what had happened, and stood as still as an inanimate object. She only came back to life when Gray looked at her; then, grasping the situation, her wild imagination drew a chart in her mind, putting all the information together.

This was too much for her, to which she cried out "PANDEMONIUM!" and promptly fainted.


1: Okay, if that was in anyway confusing, "Silence" could be a person, could be an object, etc. I'm not really sure what I was think when I wrote it, but I decided to keep it as it is now, and maybe change it later. Whatever you think "Silence" is, great! As long as it makes sense to you, it doesn't really matter.

2: We love you, Mashima-sensei! 3

Hopefully you enjoyed it! (Please review, I would like to know your opinion!)

*~Crystal