Author's Note: Yesh this story might be a weird emotion roller coaster, and its going to be hard to piece together. But I tried my best to write, even though I didn't want to cuz I had no inspiration, so please try to swallow your pride and read the whole thing no matter how weird or childish or how it doesn't make any sense it sounds. I know the sentence earlier makes no sense. Sorry. Please try to stomach my story and give me words of encouragement. If not encouragement some criticism. Sorry for the no smut deal. I'll try to next time though.
I walked over to him with a heavy feeling in my chest. This was going to be a hard feat to accomplish for someone like me. I didn't know how this was going to turn out in the end, but I had an tingling sensation running through my body. It didn't seem like something bad would happen, but with me things always turned for the worse. Of course this was the first for me. I was very inexperienced in this field. I never looked upon one before this person. So I wouldn't know if I was going to stutter uttering the words to that person. I wouldn't know if I would run away, which probably was the highest possibility that would occur. How would I think straight if all I could do is think of running away from the place I stood? Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. I could always do this another time, but would there be a next time? ...I don't think there will be. I guess it will do me good to do this now. Who knows what will happen? The worse thing that could happen is that I could die, which is highly unlikely, right? I shouldn't think this way. If I do, something bad will probably happen. Let's just do this. Nothing will surprise me. I probably will be rejected, and I will go away like nothing happened. Almost as if I didn't say anything to him at all. Maybe this will work. If he has any shred of sincerity, he would maybe choose to forget also.
I looked up at him, and he stared at me waiting. "What did you want?" his voice came out low, comforting to my ears, but it didn't calm the fluttering of my heart at the moment. I gulped loudly, and I felt sweat dampening my brow. I hope he didn't see this.
"I have something to tell you, and I hope you will hear me out." He nodded listening to me. I sound so formal. "I really... l-like... you. Will you... with me?" My question came out broken, but the feeling was conveyed quite well I think. I looked down in embarrassment awaiting my certain rejection. A moment passed, and nothing was said. I felt like looking up at him to see how he reacted, but I didn't want to see the disgust that was probably already planted on his face. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying not to cry the tears the formed. Ok, that didn't work so well. A tear rolled down my cheek, and I turned to wipe hoping he didn't see that tear. I kind of reacted a bit too much to his silence, so I guess that's a no. "I'm sorry for taking your time. Thank you for listening to me." I opened my eyes, and I smiled at him before I turned to flee. His face looked a little calm to me, when I saw it. It had not one shred of emotion at all. Why did I like this man? I stopped running when I reached an alley near my house, and I leaned against the wall heavily. I panted loudly, and I was surprised I got here with such blurry vision. I wiped the tears that flowed down my face, and I knew I looked like a mess. "Of course he wouldn't like someone like me, when he had all the women at his feet." I slumped to the floor ignoring the dirty feeling I got when I sat, pitifully pulling my knees to my chest. "How do I face him tomorrow?" Will our friendship still be intact though? Probably not. This is what I get for confessing to him. He probably hates me now. I guess I need to stay out of his way. Maybe I should skip school tomorrow. Call in sick. That should be okay right?
Why did I think I even had a chance with him? He was straight for god's sake! Oh, wait did I mention I was a boy? And also happened to be his best friend? No? Well, you know that now. Let me explain my sad little situation. It all started one day when I flew in from America, and I transferred to a new school in Tokyo. Of course I expected to not fit in with the school, having silver hair and lilac eyes, but it didn't help when I had a twin that looked exactly like me. My twin, Ichiru, fit in fine with his cheery atmosphere, but I wasn't exactly the same as my little brother. I was more serious, and I tend to have a menacing atmosphere. I couldn't help I swear! I mean you would understand when the girls that swarmed you only like your appearance. When they're like that, I can't help but feel angered by the severe air heads they are. I don't mind the girls that seriously contemplate their relationships because they are usually seriously in love. So when I'm confronted with a man who could take me pain away, I couldn't help but wonder how he could control the ladies so well. I know he used his looks and charm, but it was a pain when the ladies swooned every time I tried to control them. All that would happen is their enthusiasm would inflate, and I would have to hide for a while. I soon found out who that man was, and exactly why no one would chase him.
Kaname Kuran. The head of the night class, and a very pure blooded vampire. Did I
mention that I was also one. No? Sorry I should have mentioned it. Let me give it to you in a simple explanation. My parents were killed by a vampire, that let me and my brother lived, but I was bitten and turned where Ichiru wasn't. In the end, I being the eldest, suffered for the both of us, and I got us adopted by decent parents. The fact that I hungered for blood, they had accepted unconditionally, and they really, genuinely love me and Ichiru. I loved them too, as did Ichiru, but sometimes it was hard on me. I had to keep from drinking their blood, and when they accidentally spilled a drop of blood because of a cut, I had to run off into the night to calm down. I would feed from the stray cats and dogs that crossed my path. Don't worry I didn't kill them, and the animals wouldn't remember my feeding off them. I only took a small amount from them, so they would be able to continue running or whatever strenuous things animals do. My parents worried about me, when I ran off, but I explained everything to them so they wouldn't worry. Sometimes they would be careful around me, and I felt bad about it. So to return the favor I studied my butt off enough to make them proud of me, so they would hopefully forget to be careful around me as if I would break one day.
One day my parents felt home sick, so they decided to move back to Japan. My brother and I didn't mind much. We would be fine since we had learned Japanese, and we were bilingual. We were originally Japanese and lived in Japan, but we moved to America and then came back. So this is my background. So I will continue talking about Kaname. He was a pure blood, and pure bloods were the highest rank in the vampire society. So if you messed with them, you would be royally screwed. Of course I knew that, but curiosity got the better of me. I just had to know what he was like. One day when I was studying in the library, he happened across me. He sat down across from me, and I studied furiously, obviously oblivious to everything around me. I didn't even sense him come into the library. So when he spoke to me, I almost jumped out of my skin. But that wasn't the thing that made me so supremely shocked. It was what he said to me that shocked me and made me jump. He said and I quote 'Will you like to be my friend?'. That was really shocking. A pure blood asking a lowly turned vampire like me to be his friend. This was so unheard of, that I even thought I hadn't heard right, but I was proved wrong when he repeated the question slowly and deliberately. I couldn't refuse the pure blood because: one he was a pure blood and two I had my own curiosity to satiate. So I accepted his friendship, and soon we hit it off.
I became close friends with Kaname, that my brother felt jealous of Kaname, and he even confronted me once about it at home. I set my brother at ease by inviting him to be with us. Kaname wasn't the least bit fazed when Ichiru soon joined us, and the three of us bonded so easily. Now-a-days you could always find the three of us together talking somewhere quiet or walking the halls of the school. I think you're caught up with the details, and I hope I didn't leave anything out. So yet again I question, how am I supposed to face him? What am I to do? Skipping tomorrow would do me wonders, but what about the next day? I would have to face him, or people will pester me about fighting with him, which probably will happen. I need to prepare for the worst then. Rejection is one thing, but not being friends is another. If I can't even be close to him, what will I do? I will probably just drop to a level E faster. Maybe I shouldn't have come to this school in the first place. Would my parents allow me to transfer to another school, but I couldn't bear to leave Ichiru alone in this school. Ichiru loves this school, I can't force him to leave this place. I guess I need to continue for my parents and Ichiru's sake. I can put my feelings aside. I'll just continue as I used to do, before I befriended Kaname. I'll just go to the library studying my head off as I used to, and just worry about my grades. I just hope the saying 'Time will mend broken hearts' is true. I'll continue as if nothing happened between me and Kaname. If he questions me about, I'll just reply as it never happened. Saying 'What do you mean?' should do the trick.
This will be fine. I finally managed to stop crying, and I felt a dull burning in my throat. I need to feed. My vision blurred red, and I saw an innocent little cat staring at me from a distance of about ten feet away. I coed to it, enticing it to come closer. It seemed to trust me as it came closer, and it crawled beside me. I picked up the cat and placed it upon my knee, and I could feel it lick my tear streaked face. Its small tongue licked the tears that flowed, and I chuckled a little. It tickled. "Will you let me...?" I asked the cat, and it nodded. It tilted its head slightly, and I bit the flesh. The blood trickled into my mouth, and it tasted sweet as it ran down my throat soothing the dull burning. I licked the wound I inflicted upon the cat, and I cradled it to my chest. I didn't like hurting small animals, but they let me drink from them. "Sorry neko-chan. I'll feed you as an apology." The cat snuggled into my chest, and it purred. It doesn't feel good to feed from animals because the guilt gets to me. The animals are so defenseless, and sometimes I feel my control slipping. Blood was blood, and it will always call to me. The animals didn't do anything wrong. The animals were kind here. They always let me feed from them because they understood. They somehow knew I wouldn't hurt them, so to show them they weren't wrong I drank in small amounts from different animals each time I needed blood. An animal would somehow find me when I felt the burning, and to show my gratitude I would feed them food. I was glad when the animals gathered around me when I felt down. I would sit at the park dishing out the small amount of food, and I would watch the different kinds of animals ration it out and eat together even though they were mortal enemies. It was heart warming seeing cats and dogs together in peace sharing the food I fed them.
It was even more calming when they gathered around, and snuggled against me before they left. It was nice when they dropped by whenever I went out. It was nice to pet the stray animals. I was surprised these animals were so warm hearted. Back in America the strays wouldn't cooperate at all. So if a cat came to me, only cats would come. And that was the same for the dogs. They wouldn't come at the same time, and when they did they would snarl at each other but wouldn't fight. I guess it was for my sake they wouldn't fight each other. The cat I cradled snuggled against me again, and I smiled in spite of what had happened earlier. It must be nice to be an animal. I got up with the animal in my arms, and I walked toward my house. More animals gathered around on the way, and soon I had a litter of animals when I reached my house. My brother came outside, and he sighed. "You're too kind hearted, Zero. I'll help you." Ichiru grabbed the lid off two food bins, and he grabbed a handful of food from each bin and threw it onto the floor. I put the cat down, and the animals ate in companionable silence. "You know Zero, you should become a vet one day. I think you'll be a fine one." Ichiru smiled at me, and I was grateful for his praise. "You know you could feed off me instead of these animals."
I sighed. "Haven't you brought this up enough? You and I know I would never do that to you. I don't want to taste human blood for fear of draining you completely. I don't want to be the one who kills you."
"But its worth asking you every time. I just want you to know I will always be here for you. You're not alone Zero. You have me, mom, and dad. You even have Kaname now." He hit a sore spot. I nodded choosing not to react to his name. "I'm going out Zero. So I'll see you later. Tell mom and dad for me. Bye." I waved a good bye to him as he walked away. It was getting dark, and the animals had already left. I guess I should go inside and clean myself. I probably looked a little messy right now. I showered quickly. I flopped onto my bed and relaxed, and soon I fell asleep.
I entered the room dreading the soon appearance of Kaname. I sat on a chair that was the farthest from the door, and I put my head on the desk. I didn't get enough sleep yesterday. I was up all night thinking over the possibilities of what could happen. In the end, I came to school earlier than I usually come, but this is almost routine now. I heard a click from the other side of the room, and I could hear the steps that came closer to me. I felt someone looming over, and I didn't move at all. "Stop pretending to not notice me Zero." His soft voice contrasted with the anger in his words. I looked up a little bit, and I looked back down once I made eye contact. I didn't look too long in fear of being sucked into those soulful eyes of his. The amber colored eyes filled with fiery anger made my heart pump, and I felt it affecting me. It drew me in, but it also kept me out. His hand slammed onto the table, and I looked up quickly knowing I should stop playing. "Are you messing with me?" I saw the scowl adorning his face. He looked much better smiling. He waited for me to answer. And I didn't. I was grabbed by my collar, and I was forcefully hoisted until the cloth dug into my neck and I had to tiptoe or suffer more pain. "Answer me."
I drew in a breath and tried to calm my beating heart. "I have no idea about what you're saying." I was slammed into the wall next to my desk.
"Don't give me that crap. Just answer my question. Are you messing with me?" His words came out slowly in that soft voice of his. It amazes me how I liked the sound of it even though I had no air going to my lungs. I opened my mouth to gasp some air in considering I was being choked by my own shirt.
"No, I'm not messing with you as you put it. What I said had no real meaning." His eyes narrowed, and he glared at me.
"Why were you crying then?" Shiet... he did see then. Well, the cat's out of the bag now. Nothing I can do. If he was angry about it, then he must be disgusted about it. I guess it will be okay to downplay these feelings.
"What makes you think that wasn't an act? What makes you think I was your friend to begin with? I could have been faking the laughter, the friendship, the fun, everything we did together." I must sound crazy, but to seal the deal I made my voice come out flat. It was easy for me because that's how I used to talk. Emotionless, cold, distant. That's how it was before him.
He dropped me. "I just know." His hands let go of my shirt, and I straightened my shirt. I was trapped between the wall and him, and I shoved him out of my way. He stood out of my way, and I walked out the classroom. I'll just return when the bell rings. Ichiru ran up to me, and his hand grabbed my shoulder.
"What happened to Kaname?" He looked at me accusingly, but I shrugged him off.
"Not my problem." His eyebrows shot up at my words.
"What's wrong with you? You never say words like 'not my problem'. What happened between you two?" I sighed and looked Ichiru straight in the eyes.
"I'll tell you later. I want to be left alone right now." He backed off at my words, and I was left to my own devices. I sat at the school's water fountain. It was isolated from the rest of the school, and I would come here often to play with the animals. A cat popped out from the bushes, and it jumped into my lap. I chuckled softly, and I pet its fur. It felt silky even though the cat looked so tattered. I scratched behind its ears affectionately, and it purred. "At least you won't abandon me." The cat looked at me with knowing eyes, and it crawled away. I sensed movement from the corner of my vision, and I stiffened when I sensed him.
"Why would you say things like that?" Kaname approached me slowly, and I felt like fleeing again.
"Why can't I say things like that? After all it doesn't concern you a bit. You're not even involved with me, so what's it to you?" A little too far... he looked hurt when I said this. His smile held a sorrow that I didn't even notice before.
"I would never abandon you Zero. I acted a little rash earlier, and I wanted to apologize. I'm sorry that I hurt you. I didn't mean for that to happen, but my anger got the better of me. I wanted to tell you how I feel. When you confessed, I-"
"It doesn't matter anymore. I don't want to hear it. You're dead to me." I cut him short, even when I wanted to hear those words from his mouth. I could almost hear the words leaving his mouth. That pretty little mouth of his. I got up and started stalking off.
"Wait Zero. You don't understand. I love you." I continued walking away except quicker.
"It matters not. It does not stir a single emotion in my being!" I yelled in the distance. I felt him running towards me, and I ran too. I will not be caught. The stinging sensation in my eyes came once again, and I scowled. I will not cry. No matter how much I want to go to him and let myself feel the warmth of his embrace. I could feel him catching up. I knew I wouldn't be able to outrun a pure blood. I turned around to look at him to see how far behind he was, and I was suddenly grabbed. I struggled against his arms that held me tight to his chest. I inhaled his scent, and I felt myself weakening.
"Don't lie to me. I know how it is when love is involved. Otherwise I wouldn't think so thoroughly as to get you back. Don't run from me please. You don't know how it pains me when we love each other, but I don't have you within my grasp." All I could do was clutch his shirt pathetically as I cried my eyes out. His embrace was very soothing to me. I stopped crying, and I felt his hands playing with my hair. I looked up at him timidly, and I saw his brilliant smile. I smiled when I saw the pure happiness upon my face, and I couldn't help but feel happy too. His hands that played with my hair wandered to the side of my face, resting on my cheeks. His thumb traced my lips, and I parted them. "Can I kiss you?" he purred to me. I leaned into him. His breath fanned across my face, and I closed my eyes. His lips upon mine, and I could taste the sweetness of his mouth. His lips velvety slid over mine, and his tongue probed mine. I opened my mouth, and his tongue slipped in. I felt his hands sliding down my back, and I was pulled in closer. He broke away, so we could breathe. I whined at the loss of contact. I felt hot and bothered. "I don't think this is the time for this." I pouted, but I agreed. We still had school to attend.
After school, I had to explain everything that happened to Ichiru, and he was a little bit more happy than I expected him to be. "Zero you dog! I can't believe you're with him. It took you long enough. You should have confessed earlier. So... when are you gonna you know... with him?" I smacked Ichiru hard on the head.
"Is this something you should be asking? Do you think I would ask you things like this?" I felt embarrassed about his question. I had no clue, but it felt like it would happen soon.
"What was that for? I was just a little curious. I mean your my precious older brother, and you're being taken away from me. I won't be able to spend much time with you now. I'll be like a third wheel now." Aww.. I can't get over the fact my brother was cute sometimes.
"I won't spend any time less with you than I usually do, I promise this." Ichiru perked up a little.
"Promise?" I chuckled a little. He could be so childish sometimes.
"Promise." I gave him a tight hug and ruffled his hair a little.
"Sorry to ruin your touching moment, but I want to have some fun with Zero. Is that okay with you Ichiru?" I blinked at Kaname and blushed furiously. Ichiru ran out the door, but before that he winked at me and gave me a thumbs up. "Zero... I want you," Kaname licked his lips and smiled seductively. His eyes glowed amber, and I felt a shiver run down my back. He approached me, and I backed up into the wall. I have a feeling I won't be able to escape any time soon, but I guess I wouldn't mind being ensnared by him this one time.
"What do you mean?" I asked innocently deciding to tease him a little. I looked at him smiling like a kid, and he grabbed my hips.
He leaned in close licking my ear. "You know what I mean," he whispered with that silky voice of his. I pushed him away softly and walked out of the classroom. Giggling I led him to the night class dorm. He wasn't far behind when I reached his bedroom. I jumped onto his king sized bed and closed the darkened curtains hanging from the canopy. "Zero, you're so deceiving." I lay on my back waiting for him to walk over. The curtain opened from the side and he hovered over me. His dark tresses falling onto my face, and his scent greeting my nose. He trapped me in his arms, and I parted my legs so he could place his knee there.
"How deceiving can I be?" I smirked because this was becoming more teasing by the second.
"Very much so," he whispered into my lips. I could feel his tongue running over them, and I opened my mouth accepting his kiss. It was passionate to say the least.
-Since I never written things like this before, please excuse me for skipping it all together. Just imagine it because I'm too embarrassed to write these things. I will try more often in the future, so don't berate me for this.
I lay in his arms, happy and fulfilled. I never felt so alive, and I expected to feel more of that in the future. It was warm snuggling into Kaname, so warm I felt myself drifting to sleep. "Love you, Kana," I whispered into his chest. I felt his hug tighten just a bit.
"Love you too, Zero," I heard these words before I fell asleep.
