Feyre

Tamlin grasped my hand tightly in his as we strode into the Spring court manor, Lucian following closely behind. I had plastered a relieved smile on my face, ever the damsel in distress. I would toe the line with Tamlin, let him believe he'd saved me, and gather what information I could to keep my court a step ahead of the King of Hybern. I would play this game for Rhys and my true court.

I thought back to the friends I'd left behind; replayed the moment the king had shredded Cassian's wings with a cruel blast of his magic, the moment my sisters' human lives were ended and they were turned by the Cauldron into something they feared and hated, the last moment I'd seen Rhys and the agony in his eyes before they'd all winnowed away.

I would gladly give myself to stand between the ones I loved and Hybern. Even if it meant pretending finding my mate and my true court were a lie. It was an effort to keep my claws from emerging as Tamlin pulled me along.

I suppose I had been expecting to walk into the same pristine, luxurious Spring manor I'd escaped only a few months ago. So I was shocked to discover the once stunning tapestries in tatters, dust coating ruined furniture, and large clawed gouges spread across the walls. I paused our ascent as a small part of me imagined Tamlin unleashing his fury at the manor, at his servants… As though reading the questions on my face, Tamlin simply pulled me away from the scene towards the study.

Lucian made to enter behind us, but Tamlin waved him away and closed the heavy door on his stunned face. I heard the muffled swearing and footsteps leading away. I was working on smothering a laugh, when I realized I was alone with Tamlin. My laughter died swiftly.

I had barely turned to face him when he pulled me roughly into his arms. It was too easy to remember the girl who would have gladly given the world to hide in these arms. I almost gagged.

He stroked my hair softly as he said, "I missed you so much, Feyre."

"I missed you, too, Tam," I choked out. I had to do better than this. I couldn't let my emotions get in the way of my mission. There was no one else standing in the way of the King of Hybern. If I failed, not only could I end up trapped here in the Spring court, but Rhys and everyone I loved could end up dead. So, I forced myself to become pliant and pressed myself further into Tamlin's arms.

He kissed the base of my neck, dragging his nose along as he made his way up to my jaw. His arms slid down my sides and tightened at my waist. I closed my eyes as he spun me to get better access to my neck. He growled softly as he pulled me closer and I felt the hardness of his body against mine. I was already thinking up excuses, when I felt his body stiffen.

He breathed in deeply along my neck and frowned suddenly. I met his hard emerald gaze, blankly. "You smell…different."

I looked away, trying to think my way out even as I felt the telltale tug from the bond to my mate that had surely not been broken by the king. I tried not to look at the glamour around my tattooed arm.

"I need to know what happened, Feyre." Noticing my face he continued, reluctantly. "But we don't have to talk about it right now. Not until you're ready." He began stroking my hair again, almost as if trying to calm a skittering rabbit, as if he were afraid I might run at the slightest thing.

I caught his hand, stopping him.

Tamlin's eyes flicked to my lips, then down my body, assessing me. I was still clothed in the Illyrian fighting leathers and weapons holsters. Tamlin seemed to realize this and frowned again. I had to give him something before he shut me out again. Let him think I was still a rabbit and not a wolf.

"They—they made me fight for their amusement."

His shoulders tensed with concern and fury, as his eyes shot up to mine. "Feyre—"

I looked away. "—you saved me, Tam."

He shuddered and his hold on me was almost painful, "You won't ever have to fight again, my Feyre. You won't ever have to wield a weapon, because I will protect you." Tamlin glanced at my gear once again before waving his hand and vanishing the fighting leathers, holsters, and remaining weapons.

I was left feeling little more than naked in a gauze pastel pink gown and bare feet. The top was fitted, almost painfully so, with a softly beaded neckline that dipped low. The skirt of the gown floated down into delicate pleats, lightly grazing the floor. I tugged on the bond again and felt a very faint rush of love from Rhys. I could feel him telling me to stay strong, even if I could not hear his voice through our weakened bond.

I'm not that girl anymore, I'm not that girl anymore...

I felt Tamlin's gaze roaming my body and I shoved down the crawling disgust I felt. I needed to distract him.

"Tamlin," I said, cautiously. "What Ianthe did…"

Any lingering lust leeched out of him at the mention of Ianthe. Thank the Cauldron.

He walked away from me and sat down in a deep, velvet armchair. "We'll get them back, Feyre. Just give me time to get things settled with the king. Your rescue was…complicated. The Night Court has a lot to answer for," his claws curled out and he picked at them, considering. "As for Ianthe…she must be punished. However—"

"—however?"

"However, she's been officially anointed as the Spring Court's High Priestess and things must be handled diplomatically, Feyre. We cannot strike down a High Priestess for a mistake she may have made, especially not when those truly at fault are the Night Court."

A response. He was waiting for a response. I had to school my expression, before he could see the molting fury beneath the surface, before I failed my mission minutes after it'd begun. But to suggest that Rhysand was at fault for what had happened to my sisters, at fault for the whole mess with the king in the first place…

Breathe, Feyre. "You're right, Tam. I trust you and I will follow your lead. But I want to be a part of things now. Don't shut me out."

"I promise, Feyre, that things will be different this time." Yes, they will, Tamlin, though you don't even know the half of it.

"As for tonight, I've arranged for your old room to be cleaned. I know you might not be ready to share our bed." Silent questions flickered in his eyes: what happened at the Night Court? Did Rhysand hurt you?

I simply nodded and turned to leave, when Tamlin crossed the room and drew me into his arms again, this time sweeping my legs out from under me. He carried me up the stairs and into my room, dropping me gently on my bed. Candles were glowing dimly throughout the spacious bedroom and I could see it looked just as I'd left it, no dust or claw marks visible here.

Tamlin lingered at the foot of the bed. His hesitation was infuriating. I shot him a simpering smile.

"I love you, Feyre."

"And I, you, Tam."

He bent over me on the bed and held my chin lightly as he placed a kiss on my lips. He placed two more kisses along my jaw before he pulled away, bid me good night and left the room.

I touched my lips as I felt the gravity of what my mission might entail, replaying the kisses from Tamlin. I almost didn't make it to the bathing room before I vomited.


Feyre

I woke up to the heavy feeling of midday sunlight on my face. Someone had pulled the curtains back as I slept.

I tugged on my bond lightly, just to make sure it was still there and felt a swath of love coming from Rhys. My arms felt empty and I wished, not for the first time since I'd arrived, that Rhys were here to touch, to comfort me, that the bond were strong enough to at least let me hear his voice. It did feel a bit stronger than yesterday, but was largely clouded. Whatever the king had done when he'd tried breaking the mating bond had damaged our link and it would take some time to repair itself.

I sighed and decided to face the day, frowning as I noticed the pastel gown I still wore. I hadn't bothered to change last night. Some of the neckline beading had torn off as I'd tossed and turned. I stripped off the ruined dress and dumped it on the floor.

I made my way to my dressers, half wondering what would happen if I showed up to lunch wearing my Night Court attire. But as I looked through the drawers filled with a staggering amount of pretty pastel gowns, there was no trace of any Night Court clothing. No doubt Tamlin had seen those outfits destroyed, possibly shredded them himself.

No Night Court attire and definitely no slacks or tunics. Nothing but dresses for the pretty Lady of Spring.

Sighing again, I resigned myself to another dress; a pale green flowy dress that capped off around my knees. The neckline was squared chastely, but the back of the dress scooped down low. It was a bit daring for Spring Court. If anything, it would help my mission. It would keep Tamlin distracted while I fed my court any information that could keep us one step ahead of the king.

I had just pulled the dress on when I heard a soft tap on the door. Alis!

I rushed over, but it was not Alis who stood in the doorway. A short, dark-haired Fae stood in the doorway. Her skin was milky white, her face smattered with freckles.

She curtsied, "Hello, milady. I'm here to assist you in dressing."

Without waiting for a response, she quietly padded into the bathing room and held up a hair brush.

I wanted to ask about Alis, but I didn't know this Fae. What if she reported my questions to Tamlin? I followed her and sat down before the sink. "What's your name?"

Her russet brown eyes flickered around the room, she was nervous to be here. "My name is Reila, milady."

She began threading the brush through my hair. It had been months since I had last cut it and it now pooled near my lower back. There were quite a few tangles, as I hadn't bothered much with it the past few days. What with Hybern and all. Reila made short work of the mangled hair and then the intricate braids that she weaved into a tight crown atop my head.

When that was finished, she quickly, but expertly applied cosmetics on my face. A bit of rosy blush, some light brown kohl to define my eyes, and a lip stain to turn my lips bitten-berry.

She patted my shoulder when her work was done and walked out, taking the ruined dress with her and leaving me to examine my appearance in the mirror.

Even with the despair at my current situation, I had to admit she'd made me beautiful. I had a healthier glow to my skin I hadn't had in days. The irony did not escape me knowing it was Rhys, not Tamlin who had me glowing naturally, no makeup necessary.

I sighed yet again and closed the door lightly as I made my way to the dining hall.

I didn't make it far before I was intercepted by Lucian.

He gripped my elbow tightly, steering me into an empty room and closing the door. He scanned the room, making sure we were alone.

"Lucian, what—"

"—how did you break free from Rhysand?" His metal eye whirring as he assessed me.

I didn't dare look away. "It all happened so quickly, something must have shifted inside me."

"Bullshit."

I balked, "Lucian!"

"Look, Feyre, I don't know what you think you're doing, but this is my home. There are other lives at stake here than just yours, including my mate's."

He paused as a low growl slipped from me.

"I don't want Elain caught in the crossfire."

"I'm not here to cause trouble, Lucian."

He gave me a withering look as if to say he didn't believe a word I'd said.

"Feyre, when your sisters were taken you were not the least bit worried about their well being. Tamlin might believe your story, but I saw you that day in the forest with Rhysand. I'm not an idiot."

I smirked. "Are you suggesting Tamlin is?"

Lucian scowled. "What I'm suggesting is you watch yourself. I won't stand by and let you tear this court apart again."

My smile vanished. "Like you stood by when I was falling apart?"

He flinched. "Why are you here, Feyre?"

"Lucian," I said, carefully. "I'm here because I want to make things right." Not for Tamlin, but finding the cauldron and ending it as I should have done at the castle in Hybern. Stopping the king.

And Lucian knew what I meant. I could see the gleam in his eyes, the triumph at having been right about me. My body went cold.

So I switched tactics. "You say that you're worried for my sister, your mate, but what kind of a man are you? If you think Elain would be with a man content to hide by the sidelines, you're wrong."

Anger rippled through him, but I knew my words had hit their mark. He wouldn't move against me, not while I held sway over Elain. Not when one word from me would ensure he'd never see her again.

My former friend glared at me as he practically snarled, "Your betrothed, Lord Tamlin, awaits you in the gardens."

Lucian yanked the door open and stormed away, somehow managing to be silent in his rage.

There was nothing left for me to do, but to go out and meet Tamlin.