AN: After recently watching the season 3 finale of the 2k12 series, I needed a way to get the feels out. This may be a oneshot, but I'm debating doing the viewpoints of all four brothers. It will just depend on the feedback and of course how dynamic I'm feeling about writing the events through everyone else. Please R&R this is my first published story here on FF :)

Disclaimer: I don't own TMNT, never will.

Despondent (adjective): in low spirits from loss of hope or courage.


LEONARDO

Your brothers will need you, my son. Splinter would have told him. You are their leader.

Leonardo can hear the words in his head, replayed in Splinter's voice over and over again. Yes, his brother's will need him, but they need their father more. Leo is the oldest, the leader, the strongest on the team, the one who always took Splinter's teachings to heart- but he's no father.

They don't need a leader right now. They need their father.

That's what Mikey needs. It's what Donatello and Raph need. Hell, even April just lost her father to that gaping black hole.

A part of Leonardo died while he watched Michelangelo sobbing over their father's lifeless body. Mikey, the one who cracks a joke to ease the tension, the one who laughs in the face of danger, the one who always sees the cup as half full- to see him cry is something Leo fears he won't be able to forget.

He's terrified for his brothers. In the past they've been forced to flee their home, to leave their father behind. But in the back of their minds they knew their home was still there, they knew their father was still alive. All the time they spent on the farm was to train, to ready themselves for the rescue mission: to mentally prepare for the fight to come.

This time is different.

There is no home. There is no Sensei. There is no fight because there's no one left. There's nothing left to rescue. This time they don't retreat to some homey cottage that April has tucked away in the forest. They're in a tin, cold spaceship a billion miles away from the cloud of dust and gas that used to be Earth.

How could they lose them all so easily?

How could they LOSE so easily? They had been against it all, the Shredder, the Foot, the Kraang. They had defeated every enemy they had ever come up against. His brothers, his team, they always had a way. They always pulled together in the nick of time.

But not this time, and now they're all gone. Leatherhead, Slash, Kirby, Splinter…

Karaii

He grits his teeth and bows his head in nothing but anguish. He had tried so hard for her. After the months of searching and trying to save her and watching as Shredder turned her against them; it was all for nothing. After all that he still couldn't save her.

He takes a deep breath and tries to calm himself as his bright blue eyes scan the room they're sleeping in.

The robot, Professor Honeycutt, had given each of them their own rooms. He is a hospitable and friendly droid, but they can't trust him. Not yet. Not until they know where they're going, why he saved them, and what this "adventure" his family is being sent on entails.

Until then, they all opted to sleep together. The doctor hadn't seemed to mind, taking no real offense to their distrust.

Leonardo had silently volunteered to take watch for the night. Raphael was smart enough to let him. It wasn't like he'd be able to sleep tonight anyways.

Around him his brothers breathe with the heaviness of sleep. Against his leg there's a pillow that Mikey rests his head on.

Leo always had a thing with personal space. Living with your brothers, underground, for your entire life will make personal space more sacred than anything else. In the past Leo might have playfully or forcefully shoved Mikey away but tonight someone would have to pry his baby brother out of his hands before Leo let him sleep alone.

Mikey has always been the loudest sleeper, even in body language. He's always been sprawled out starfish-style on the couch or his bed, taking up as much space as his body can possibly consume. Every few minutes he'd twitch from the motions of a dream. Ninety-nine percent of the time his mouth is wide open, obnoxiously loud snores emitting from his mouth that would disturb even Donnie in his lab.

Tonight Mikey lays on his side, slightly curled in on himself. His breaths are heavy from the exhaustion of the battle, but aside from that he's silent. Leo can't even remember the last time he's seen Mikey so still.

Raphael isn't too far. He's on a bed but he's sitting up, his shell against the wall, arms crossed, and his chin resting against his chest. Next to Leo, Raph is doing the best at hiding the pain of his loss. Despite never having the title, Raphael always treated this team as seriously as though he was the leader. He's always wanted to be seen as the toughest, the strong-willed of all his brothers both mentally and physically.

For now, he's doing his best, but Leonardo fears for the next mission, the next battle, the next time they disagree. The longer he holds in these emotions the longer they'll build up until he explodes.

But unlike Mikey, he can't force Raph to feel. He can only hope he'll be able to whether the blast when he finally does explode.

His eyes scan over to where Donnie is. April's head is resting in his lap and he hopes that will be enough to let Donatello rest peacefully for tonight. No matter what April has always been his escape route. Something about April has always allowed Donnie to relax and escape from his countless experiments, even when his brother's constant persistence couldn't tear him away from the lab. But Leo's okay with that. In reality, he's glad something finally came along in their lives that could make Donnie see the world as something more than a series of elements and equations.

He fears for his purple-clad brother just as much as he fears for the rest of them. When they stepped foot on this ship and escaped the suction of the black hole Leo had been in shock; that much was certain. But Donnie was completely numb. All he could do was weakly state what was happening, despite the fact that his brothers had seen it with their own eyes.

In this situation, Donnie will probably be a lot like Raph and let the emotions and the loss pile up in his heart. But the dangerous difference between Don and Raph is Raphael will eventually get it out of his system. He'll take it out on his brothers, or a punching bag, or someone they're fighting against. Donatello's depression will manifest in sleepless nights spent in the lab, alienating himself from his family. Donnie will bury his feelings underneath piles of work that will eventually cripple him.

A sudden wave of anger rushes through his chest. They don't deserve this. They don't deserve any of this. All their lives they've trained to be able to save each other and the people they want to protect. What was all that training for, for it to end up like this?

He slowly stands as to not disturb the sleeping body beside him. He tip-toes stealthily to the restroom but he's not the only one on high alert tonight.

He feels his brother's stare before he hears Raphael whisper, "Where you going?"

Leo points to the bathroom door, not risking his voice waking up the others. Tonight, sleep is precious. In the nights to come there won't be much of it as the events of today finally settle into their minds. For now, the shock will allow sleep to come easily.

Raph nods, settling back in comfortably.

Leo doesn't wait for him to close his eyes before he turns and makes a quick break for the bathroom, desperately seeking the privacy it holds.

He waits a few minutes before allowing himself to lean against the sink, his chest heaving in silent sobs that his mouth refuses to vocalize. His fists clench together so hard his knuckles turn a pale green and his eyes are so tightly closed all he can see is black.

But even that can't stop him from seeing their faces, from seeing his father fall limply onto the ground. He can't stop himself from seeing his father's head lolling lifelessly in his grip while Michelangelo cries and Donatello looks down in absolute despair. He can't erase the look of horror on Raphael's face as the world disappears.

His father; his Sensei…

Dad, Leo mouths against the porcelain.

He wants to say goodbye, whether it's to Splinter's lifeless body or his actual father, he doesn't care. He just wants to say it, just wants some form of closure. It all happened so quickly. One minute he was alive, full of energy, determined, precise; bounding. The next he was still with the Shredder's blades sticking out of him. Even Splinter barely had the time to register what had happened before he was gone.

How could they be so stupid? How could they actually think Shredder would care about their planet? Shredder is the kind of soul that cares for nothing but himself and his selfish wants. To think for even a second that he would team up with them for the greater good…

He should have done something! The entire fight he was so consumed with fighting the Triceratons that he was completely distracted from the fact that his own father was fighting beside their greatest enemy. Was the Shredder's betrayal really so hard to predict? There has been so many times where Splinter watched their backs, protected his sons when they didn't see a blade or a punch coming.

He always watched his brother's backs but how could he forget his own father?

Leo likes to think that had he not been so busy, so worried about rescuing Mikey that he would have advised his father differently. There were so many times where Splinter had turned him to the right path. Why couldn't he do the same?

He likes to think that if he had said something his father would have acted differently. But was there really another option? They were out of allies, it was only logical to turn to an enemy.

No, there had to be something! There had to be a scenario where they all made it out of there alive. The world wasn't meant to end like this: billions of years of creating only to be gone in an instant. There had to have been a way where they all survived- a way, a loophole, some situation where his father is still alive.

Now all he wants is to see his father, to be able to say goodbye. He deserved to say goodbye! If nothing else, just that single word.

Splinter was everything to him. He was his teacher in times of uncertainty. He was their father when they had no one else. He was his friend when his brothers grew tired of his leadership. He was his mentor when his mind would stray.

Splinter taught him everything he knew. But he never taught him how to live without a father.

And now they would all look to him. With Splinter gone, as the eldest the Hamato clan falls to Leo. He had always been in charge but now there was no one to fall back on, no one to look to for advice or comfort. Now there is only the wisdom that Splinter instilled in him, and even after all these years it seems like so very little.

Can he do this again? Rise from the ashes and overcome their awful circumstances? This time there's no physical injury, no broken leg, but the pain is just as horrible as he remembers it.

He has to get through this. He doesn't have a choice. His family needs him.

When he finally rises to look himself in the eyes he can't take it anymore. His fist smashes his own reflection, sending the class mirror shattering with a thundering crack.

He regrets it instantly. In the other room he can already hear the others jolt awake.

Raph opens the door before he can even touch the doorknob (to lock it or open it, he'll never get to know.)

His brother's eyes are roaming over him, taking in the scene: the broken mirror, the glass on the ground, his brother's bleeding fist, and most importantly the tear streaks on his older brother's face.

"I didn't…" Leo starts, his eyes surveying his injured hand and his family, all awake and alarmed.

He didn't mean to wake them, didn't mean to hurt himself, didn't mean for any of this to happen.

"Hey," Raph whispers, approaching his brother with caution. His hands are up peacefully and touch his brother's shoulders, trying to soothe and stabilize him. "It's alright."

"We didn't…" Raphael raises an eyebrow as his brother's words come out as nothing more than a whisper.

"We didn't even get to say goodbye." Leo sobs and lets himself collapse against his brother's chest.

He lets his brother hold him as he cries, mourning for their dead father. His entire body shakes and his dripping hand is pressed between them but Raphael holds him so tight he's trapped between his brother's protective arms and his heartbeat.

Your brothers will need you, my son. His father's voice echoes in his head.

He nods, accepting the words that his brothers can't hear. In despair, he asks the empty corner of his mind where Splinter once resided: but what happens when I need you?