I caught a chill and it's still frozen on my skin
I think about why I'm alone by myself no one else to explain
How far do I go no one knows
If the end is so much better why don't we just live forever?
'Commander' that word held so much promise but so much destruction. He'd done things he was ashamed of and although he was considered a hero by many they didn't know. They didn't know how many times he'd crossed the line, doing things by his own book, the people caught in the crossfire. He knew and he knew that if people knew the REAL him he wouldn't be a hero, he would be a villain.
I don't wanna live to waste another day
Underneath the shadow of mistakes I've made
'Cuz I feel like I'm breaking inside
He had wasted so much time, he had wasted so much of his life being upset and distraught. He had wasted time carrying around his mistakes and consequences, well not anymore. Steven Mcgarrett would not be wounded anymore.
Out here nothing's clear
Except the moment I decided to move on and I ignited
Disappear into the fear
You know there ain't no coming back when you're still carrying the past
The living were confusing to say the least. Some viewed you as a hero and others as the man that wrecked their lives, so he decided to move on. Wo Fat was dead and his long treacherous past was finally answered. Yet the fear stayed, the fear of pain and torture so he let his fear consume him. He knew that this was one battle he wouldn't win.
You can't erase, separate
Cigarette in my hand, hope you all understand
I won't be the last one in line
I finally figured out what's mine
They begged him to see sense, to see that living on nothing was not healthy and that he had a family, a family that loved him. Yet as he tried to figure what was his he realized that nothing was. His fear and pain were real but his happiness was short lived, so as he looked at his one opportunity he took it.
I don't wanna live to waste another day
Underneath the shadow of mistakes I've made
'Cuz I feel like I'm breaking inside
He knew Danny was joking when he said to see a shrink but Danny didn't realize. He didn't realize that Steve had actually had thoughts of suicide and death since he'd left the NAVY. It had eased up since he had met five-o but the constant thought could become to much. Danny didn't realize that the op wasn't really 'classified' it was just that Steve was afraid to admit that he'd done bad things, he didn't want Danny to think he was inhuman. He knew he was.
And I feel like I'm breaking
And I feel like I'm breaking inside
He was broken and Steven Mcgarrett may never be whole again.
