Kate on Kissing
"What'd it feel like... When Betty kissed you?"
No one had asked her before. For the longest time she had tried not to think of it.
"At first?" She thought, letting her mind go free.
"Mmhmm..." Gladys said dazed.
"Like falling..." Gladys noticed how Kate smiled.
"And then?"
"Like being burned." They both grimaced.
"Was it so wrong?" Gladys asked.
"My mind was on fire. No matter how good it-" Kate stopped herself, feeling bitter.
"And Ivan?" They both smiled and Kate blushed.
"Ivan…" She said sadly, realizing that he was gone. "Kissing Ivan was sort of like kissing myself." They both laughed.
"What does that mean?"
"Umm.." Kate wondered why she was talking so much. It could've been the gin but it was probably just because it was Gladys. "You know…" She urged, hoping she wouldn't have to say more.
"Not really." Gladys laughed lightly.
"It was sweet but there was nothing much to it." She said finally.
"Oh…" Gladys shook her head. She did know after all.
"I do know." She agreed. "I've kissed more than a few Gene Corbett's in my life."
"He didn't kiss like Gene!" Kate laughed, a little too much.
"How do you know how Gene kisses?" Gladys asked, pretending to be suspicious. Kate rolled over on the bed, ashamed of herself for her secret thoughts that were now spilling out of her like water down a rushing creek.
"You know what I mean!" Kate defended again.
"I know…" Gladys made sure to state again. "Kissing Ivan was life without fireworks. That's how I felt when Gene kissed me." Gladys confessed. Gene had always felt more like a brother than a lover.
"Why'd you let him kiss you?" Kate asked.
"I was bored…" She admitted. "James was gone…" There were actually a lot of reasons now that she thought of it. "He was a soldier, fighting for our whole country. How amazing is that? Why did queens kiss knights?" She asked in a dreamy way.
"All of those things are true but none of them are good excuses."
"Oookay? Why'd you let Ivan kiss you."
"You know why." Kate scoffed angrily.
"I really don't though, Kate." Gladys confessed sort of sadly.
"Betty wanted to be normal and I wanted to help." It was simple. It had always been simple.
"Yeah, but, with Ivan?"
"He was the only one who'd have me." She shook her head. "Ivan wasn't so bad. He was nicer than the other boys."
"Kate. Ivan slept with Betty."
"He most certainly did not."
"No, Kate… He did." Gladys made sure to say. "Has she really not told you?"
Kate grimaced for the second time in one night. So many truths were hidden under rugs these days. Sadly, she just shook her head.
"Well that explains a lot…" Gladys smiled. A little while went by with both of them in their own heads. Gladys couldn't help it when her mind flew back to where the conversation started.
"Would you like to do it again?" Glady's asked, taking Kate's hand and smiling a soft smile.
"Again?" Kate smiled apprehensively, relaxing into the setting. "Which part?"
"Betty, you idiot! The kiss!" When they both smiled now they were redder than they had been the whole night. Redder than they were in their talks about Gene and Ivan.
"I would." Kate said. "Yes. I'm sure of it now." Somehow Gladys knew that she was telling the absolute truth. "That first time I wasn't expecting it. It felt so good before it felt like fire. I'd like to linger in it. Let myself kiss her and let her kiss me back."
"You've changed a lot since I've been gone, Miss Andrews."
"Uhh-Uhh." She shook her head. "I don't think so... Not really." She had said a lot more than she would've said in any other situation. With Vera gone and Betty away for the night, Kate felt an intimacy with Gladys. She had actually really missed her.
"Well, you should try it, ya know. Just do it one day, see how it feels."
"I don't want to hurt her again."
"But you love her and she loves you." To Gladys it was plain as day. Kate shouldn't hesitate, that was her advice. But Gladys knew that everything with Betty was different. Even, she, herself, had yet to meet anyone else like Betty McRae.
"But what if it's different? What if she's over me?"
"Kate... do you really think she could get over you?" Kate paused to think about it but she didn't know what to say.
"I think a lot has changed." Kate decided to say.
"You just told me that you haven't changed!" Gladys insisted. "Doesn't that count for something?"
"It does." Kate agreed, thinking pensively and staring out of Betty's new room between the slats in the stairs and towards the unmovable front door that should've been opened hours ago by Betty McRae.
"So don't think." Gladys insisted. "If you feel you want to kiss her, just do it."
"It's never been that simple with us."
"Make it simple."
It was really good advice coming from the craziest of them all. Since they were facing each other Kate saw how serious Gladys had been when she said this.
A commotion came from downstairs and they both sat up.
"Betty." They said to each other, knowing that at last, Betty was home.
When she opened the door the two of them were already at the top landing, clutching hold of the bannister with childish smiles on their faces like they had been scheming the whole time she had been gone. In truth they'd just been drinking and talking and feeling nostalgic.
"Hello, VicMu bomb girls!" Betty screamed happily up her own staircase towards the trouble makers.
"Hey!" Kate said, "I'm not a bomb girl anymore."
"You'll always be a bomb girl, Kate. You can never take it back."
"Oh…" Kate said, "Oh well." She smiled, walking down the stairs slowly to meet her friend who was carrying a brown bag filled with something, from the looks of it lettuce and food. "You were gone a long time, ya know."
"Sorry, got caught up at Stan's." It was the grocery store closest to Fran's, in the city. Betty had gone straight after meeting Lorna. The two had talked a lot but she was exhausted now and she knew she could sleep for days at a time uninterrupted now that it was friday night.
"You're home now, all that matters." Kate took the bag from Betty and smiled on her way off to the kitchen. As she walked away, Betty stared at Gladys who had stopped on the second to last step just to appear regal in Betty's home.
"And what about you, Princess?" Betty asked, hands drifting down to her pockets. "How do you like the house?"
"Oh Betty," Gladys gushed, walked to her and took her hands to force her to dance. "I love it! It's a dream!" From the kitchen Kate could hear them, she turned to see them dancing as if music was playing.
"It's yours too, ya know." Gladys stopped, a gulp in her throat.
"Excuse me?"
"With all the commotion, I forgot to tell you. This place has four bedrooms." Betty's eyebrows rose. "I made sure of it, you know. Didn't want anyone out in the cold." Houses with three rooms cost the same as houses with four. Before she had bought the house there were other people in the family she had made. Vera was gone now but Gladys had come back.
"It's a safe haven. You won't have to rush your life like you've been doing."
"Betty, that's way too generous."
"What? It's just sitting there empty. What else would I do with it?"
"You could rent it out, work less? Give it to one of the girls who doesn't have choices." Gladys remembered now, as she did so often, that she was richer than Rockefeller, in a way.
"Yeah well, I don't want to do that. I want to keep you close where I can watch you at all times and stop the trouble from happening before things get too out of hand."
"Betts, you say that like I'm a child."
"Yea…" Betty remembered, "I do." She joked.
"I- I can't believe it…" Gladys said, looking up towards that empty room in the middle of the upstairs hall. "A house of our own."
"Bought and paid for, ain't no one can take it away!" It was a pride now that it was done. All the months leading up to it, years in the making, Betty didn't care now what she had done to get her haven. It was here and it was hers and it was worth every fight, toss, and save.
"Betty?" Kate called from the kitchen, leaning on the door frame and smiling when Betty turned to her.
In the kitchen Kate was having her own bit of reflection. Reflection that was turning to panic with every second spent wasted now that Betty was in the house.
Gladys wandered up stairs to look on that empty room.
In the kitchen, Kate flexed her fingers and then scrunched them into fists, over and over, while she paced the new tile floor.
"Aaaand, how are you Miss Andrews?"
"Betty, I-" Kate was going to say something but she stopped. Betty sat up on a counter seeing that there was little room for her in the kitchen with Kate in such a mood.
Kate turned to her and leaned between Betty's legs, holding at Betty's knees and startling Betty instantly.
"Whoa!" Betty said, not sure as to why she had reacted in such a way. Kate saw but she wouldn't move, not this time.
"Betty, I… I've been thinking."
Betty gulped. "And?"
"I've been thinking I hate the way our relationship is right now."
Hate was a very strong word. Betty wanted to get off of the counter but she didn't want to push Kate out of the way. Where she was, at present, Kate was pressed against the counter, still holding at Betty's knees that rested on either side of her upper-hips naturally, not squeezing or moving an inch.
"I like you." Betty confessed, feeling a bit high for this conversation. Nothing could tear her down now that they were all finally home.
"I like you too, Betty. That's what I'm saying." Betty was sitting up and she looked down on Kate now, realizing how insanely close she was to her body. Kate wasn't looking for distance, that was obvious.
"So… You like me and I like you." They were speaking again in those terms that were often either redacted or muddied up with different feelings in later talks.
"Mmmhmm.." Kate mumbled, pleased with Betty for understanding. Through her chest, Kate could feel as her heart pounded hard. She moved her hands up to find Betty's hands and she forced Betty's hands around to the back of her own body until they locked with one another and held her in a way.
"You're holding me now." Kate said, smiling.
"I am. Cause you made me." Kate frowned at this, turning around until her back was completely to Betty and resting on the counter's edge. Betty had insulted her somehow and she hated that. Every time Kate tried to be intimate Betty would seem off. How were they ever going to get back to that place where they were at the piano? They were so comfortable then and it was bad but it was good. Kate missed it, before. She missed how before Betty wasn't scared of her, she didn't hesitate.
Betty noticed she had hurt Kate with her words. She wanted to move and talk but Kate was still pinning in place with her body standing guard, consciously or un.
Betty scooted up the best that she could and wrapped her arms around Kate, hugging her from behind, with her chin resting fine on Kate's shoulder.
"I didn't mean it like that, fool." Betty joked.
Kate turned in her arms. She couldn't help the flush in her cheek or the smile rising to her face.
"What did you mean, fool?"
Face-to-face it was harder for Betty. This had gone on before and it had ended badly but Kate was here and she was acting so different.
"Where'd you go?" Kate asked, seeing the drop in Betty's face.
"Somewhere, nowhere…" It didn't matter.
"This… This is what I was talking about." Kate raised a hand up to feel Betty's cheek. And she leaned in close until Betty's face was just a few inches from hers, just there. She thought of Gladys and closed her eyes. Before long, she had fallen.
Betty caught her with a confused yet intrigued openness. Kate was kissing her and it felt like fireworks.
"Mmmm…" Betty moaned through the kiss that Kate was giving. It wasn't like before with its briefness or its tension. Kate was tasting her now and wanting more, open to her and almost needing of response. Betty's arms slowly grabbed at Kate's sides and pulled her as close as can be, flush with the counter, feeling Kate's wanting and Kate's hands on her face, it was enough to make her moan again, so she did. "Mmmm…" Kate smiled as Betty moaned helplessly beneath her lips.
A knock came from the kitchen door frame. Gladys was there, she could see them and she smiled.
"Oh good, I was waiting for this." She joked nonchalantly as if someone had brought her a drink and not a love-connection rare as the heavens.
A peculiar expression peeked on Betty's face, it was like she had been caught with her hand in the cookie-jar. There were no regrets, though, just peacefulness.
Kate turned around, her face red as roses.
"Gladys! What do you mean by walking in here like that?" Kate wanted to scream a little but she was too happy. Her eyes examined the tile floor and she wiped her mouth with her hand, walking away from Betty, knowing now, for sure, that she would kiss her again.
"What? It's my kitchen too! Ask Miss McLips over there!" Gladys smiled. It was much too fun catching them like this in their own kitchen. To Gladys it was perfect in every single way. She wanted to wrap this moment up in a bow and carry it around with her everywhere so that any time she was sad she could just pull it out and smile.
"She's right, Kate. It's her kitchen too." Now that the pressure was off, Betty leaned back on the counter, bracing her upper body with her hands. She hadn't expected for Kate to still want her but now she knew, she knew that she did.
"If you two are going to constantly outnumber me, maybe I shouldn't live here. I'll never feel safe!" Kate said this and walked away. Mostly she wanted to be out of the kitchen. Her face was red and so were her lips, and her heart was beating four times its usual speed.
"See what you did?" Betty asked.
"What I did?" Gladys said indignantly, "You're the one who kissed her!"
"No. Not true." Betty boasted, whispering slightly.
They both looked at each other and smiled. With the truth out in the air they both wanted to fill the air with noise instead of silence. They looked at each other mischievously and yelled for Kate in unison.
"Kaaaaaaaate!" It was wildly perfect. She heard them once she was all the way up the stairs.
The house was a home already. A real home that they all wanted a part of.
Kate had planned on making cookies but now she just wanted to change and rest.
That kiss was unexpected but it was perfect, so much better than before. Gladys had been right, after all, why wait if you know what you want? Kate's mind suddenly wandered back to that time at the piano. Betty must've felt so excited on that day. She held at her heart dreamily.
From her room she could hear them yell and approach, and it made her forget that thought.
This house would be great for the three of them, she was sure of it.
THE END
