Maddy: Okay, so this is I guess a dream I had the other night. I posted it on this forum and everyone said it would make a great crack!fic, so here I am.

Ed: What exactly does this dream entail?

Maddy: If I told you, you wouldn't read it – fool.

Winry: Yeah Ed, gosh –wields wrench-

Maddy: I own my dreams, so feck off. But the characters were not my imagination :'{

Izumi: Bt dubs, this is my only appearance in any of your little fantasies.

Maddy: You're RIGHT!

Lexi: You're copying me aren't you. ¬¬

Maddy: No... . LET'S GET ON WITH MY DREAM!

Harry: Why am I here?

Maddy: LIFE EH.


"Oh fuck, WINRY!" I yelled. She was so carelessly shouting at Slytherin, that she completely ignored the quaffal. I winced as the ball hit her right in the head.

"OUCH THAT HURT!" She shrieked, aiming her broom towards the player responsible for the throw. I rolled my eyes and caught the ball Al had retrieved. A tiny kitten with wings buzzed around us, stopping briefly before moving on at the speed of light. Al seemed attracted to the kitten and wandered off somewhere.

"And Al's going after the Kitty-Snitch!" The commentator yelled, causing an uproar of oohs and aahs from the crowd.

Turning to the goals, I punched the ball with my auto-mail as hard as I could; trying to hurt Ling on the way. Unfortunately, being the skilled martial artist he was, he flipped and kicked the ball back, over my head.

"WINRY!" I yelled again, the ball smashing her right in the face.

"RIGHT!" She yelled, wielding a rather large wrench in her hands. I rolled my eyes again, noticing what looked like a floating orb halfway down the Quidich pitch. On the side was what looked like a London Underground sign, but it read 'Herpes' instead.

As Winry bashed the opposing team with her wrench, a shot of light came from the orb, electrocuting Winry straight in the fanny. Her eyes were as wide as plates and completely blank as she looked down at her bleeding vag.

"Are you on your period?" I asked.

"OH MY GOD I HAVE HERPES!" She screamed, beginning to cry like a baby.

"OBEY THE RULES, OR YOU WILL GET HERPES!" Izumi shrieked, whacking everyone over the head with her suitcase as she dealt out harsh criticism.

Roy stood up and held up his hands, ready to click; "I ASKED FOR PREMIUM" He bellowed, snapping his fingers.

And everything turns to ash.

The end.


Maddy: Well wasn't that exciting!

Ed: If that's what you dream subconsciously, I worry about your controlled fantasies.

Roy: Why did I only appear at the end?

Winry: Why do I have herpes, and a bleeding vag?

Maddy: LOOK I DON'T KNOW, LEAVE ME ALONE. Look, I just felt like putting my dream into words, okay? I might add to this later on, dunno.

Lexi: What time is it exactly over there?

Maddy: Um... twenty to 1...

-shot-