Disclaimer: Andrew Marlowe and ABC own the show Castle and the characters associated with the show. I just put them through hell.

Author's Note: This story contains a suspenseful mystery, but both starts and ends darkly. If you want lighter fare, read Chapters 3 thru 13 only. WARNING: CHARACTER DEATHS POSSIBLE

Thursday 9:58 am

NYPD 3rd Precinct Conference Room

Beckett sighed, and checked the big watch on her wrist. It was only two minutes before ten in the morning, on this endless day in this endless week. Maybe 3 hours sleep in the last 3 days. Only Thursday morning, and this had already been the longest and worst week of her professional life, including the week she both lost her Captain and had been shot by a sniper. A week surely to get worse in about two minutes. However, it was nothing she didn't deserve. If life was fair, her team would be here, not scattered and wrecked and destroyed. If life was fair, she'd be dead, and those she loved would be alive and well.

She stared at the little microphone immediately in front of her on the small table. It was too much effort to lift her head, so she just stared at it. It was identical to the microphone she'd seen countless times in the interrogation rooms at the precinct. She started counting the little holes in the microphone head. The sounds of chairs sliding and papers rustling barely penetrated her awareness as a group of people took their seats at the big table opposite her. The second chair at her little table was also taken. Beckett counted nineteen holes. All the times she'd seen these microphones, and she'd never noticed the holes before. Her vision kept blurring from unshed tears, then became uncomfortably dry, then blurring again. It was impossible to concentrate. She started recounting the holes. She wanted to be sure.

The noise from the chairs subsided. An authoritative voice began speaking. "Okay, people, let's get going. I'd like to call this meeting to order. This is an emergency review board called to assess the actions and decisions of Detective First Grade Katherine H Beckett, Badge number 41319, currently assigned as team lead for Homicide Team Alpha of the 12th Precinct. The Commissioner and Mayor both want answers, and want them now. We are to evaluate all the activity that led to yesterday's fiasco, resulting in a police detective and five civilians dead, several others critically injured, and a fugitive at large. After hearing the facts, we will determine if any administrative or criminal penalties should be pursued. Due to the extreme media coverage focused on the … um … fame and notoriety of the casualties, we are expected to have a recommendation ready for the Police Commissioner before adjourning."

"The commissioner has asked me to run point on this. For those who don't know me, I am Lieutenant Clifford Robinson of the Internal Affairs Division. Also on this review board are: Assistant Commissioner Allison Hayes, Chief of Detectives Theodore Cavillo, Captain Michael Melrose from the 3rd precinct, Lieutenant George Mitchell from Internal Affairs, Lieutenant Marianne Lankin from Admin, Captain Chris Basso from Personnel, and Detective Sergeant Andrew Boling from Robbery." The big IAD Lieutenant looked around. "Did I miss anybody? Okay, good. Now, before we get started: Detective Beckett, is there anything you'd like to say to the board at this time?

Beckett never bothered lifting her head, just slowly shook her head back and forth.

The well dressed man to her left leaned forward. "Detective Beckett reserves the right to speak to the board at a later time if we deem it necessary."

Robinson frowned at the man. "I know most of the union reps from dealing with other cop's screw-ups, but I've never met you before. Are you new?"

"I, on the other hand, am fully aware of you and your reputation, Lieutenant Robinson. My name is Gary Miller, and I am a member of the New York Bar Association in good standing. I will be assisting Detective Beckett with her testimony today."

"So, Detective Beckett, a Union Rep isn't good enough for you? You need a lawyer in a thousand dollar suit to protect you?"

The lawyer's voice sharpened. "Lieutenant! It is well within Detective Beckett's purview to have any representative she desires. I am a … family friend, and am fully cognizant of the rules governing this deposition. We would appreciate it if you kept prejudicial terms and incendiary phrases to a minimum." Williams leaned back and muttered under his breath, "Arrogant prick."

Beckett lifted her head and looked at the faces arrayed against her for the first time. The only one she knew well was C.O.D. Cavillo, who'd been somewhat of a mentor to her since Montgomery's death. Mitchell and Basso were cronies of Gates, Hayes an old friend of Montgomery's, and Boling an ex-partner of Tom Demming. Right now, they all looked … ugly. She wanted, she needed, to see the faces of her family, her remaining family, not these strangers.

Robinson's smile resembled a shark's, never reaching his small eyes. "Fine, Counselor, whatever. If it's okay with you, we'd like Detective Beckett to walk us through this case from the beginning. No recriminations, no justifications, just the facts. Please start from the initial call-out."

Beckett gave a curt nod, and took a deep breath. She licked her dry lips, and stared at the pitcher of water and empty glass in front of her. She wanted a drink, but it wasn't worth the effort to move her leaden arms. She began to speak.