Based on true events... dondonDON. Well, everything up until Stan gets there. Then, there's what I WISH happened... and the whole bracelet thing is made up, but I thought it was cute, so I had to do it.
Please, read and review, and if you think it sucks, lie and tell me it was good. Mmm'kay? Actually, I want some constructive criticism. Srsly.


Another normal, boring night in South Park found me, Kyle Broflovski, sitting on my couch with my computer, doing pretty much nothing. In one Internet window I had opened a bunch of websites that made it look like I was actively studying. In the other, I was on the World of Warcraft forums.

Bored and tired, I went upstairs to shower and change into my pajamas. I showered and dressed quickly, and, at around nine-thirty, considered going to bed. It was Friday night and I had nothing to do, but I decided against it and opted to go sit on my ass downstairs for a while longer.

The TV was messed up. A couple hours before, it had started making a weird buzzing noise and flashing green-and-purple lines over the screen. I had fiddled with it for a while, but couldn't figure out the source of the problem. So, I turned it off and stopped caring.

I settled in on the couch with my computer on my lap and my phone in my hand, checking for messages every so often while browsing the forums and pretending to study.

The poorly-made rainbow bracelet on my wrist caught my eye and I felt a smile trace itself across my face. It was the style of friendship bracelet that girls made for each other at summer camps out of embroidery floss. Almost a year ago, I told my friends that I was bisexual. Contrary to what I expected, no one gave a flying fuck – Cartman excluded, obviously. Shortly after I came out, my super best friend Stan made me this half-assed rainbow bracelet.

I fiddled with the bracelet for a second before turning my attention back to my computer.

Pop!

I glanced over at the tangled mess of wires beside the television. A small, white light that I was sure shouldn't be there was flickering softly, growing slowly but steadily. My eyes widened. I stepped closer and saw a small, blue-and-orange flame growing from the overheated wires.

"Holy shit! Mom! Dad! Ike!" I shouted, running towards the stairs, "Fire! Everybody, fire!" I looked back at the flame, which was growing, climbing up the wall and wires, "Everybody, get out!" I screamed again.

"Kyle, bubby, what's wrong?" My mom was hobbling down the stairs. I pointed at the wall. My mouth moved but no words came out. "Oh my God!" she exclaimed.

Out of instinct, I dashed to the couch and grabbed my phone and my laptop. My dad and Ike both came down the stairs and immediately left the house.

I followed the rest of my family out of the house, punching out the numbers 9-1-1 and holding my phone to my ear with a shaky hand.

"Nine-one-one, what's your emergency?"

"I'm at 90123 East Main Street in South Park, there's an electrical house fire. Send help!"

"Help is on its way." The line went dead.

I stared at the blank screen of my phone, speechless. "Holy shit…" I mumbled, watching the flames grow through the windows.

I clutched my computer to my chest, again bringing an unsteady hand to my ear, "Hey, Ky. What's up?" a familiar, casual voice questioned.

"Stan!" I choked out. My throat suddenly felt tight and dry. "S-Stan, my house is on fire!" My family was rushing me toward the neighbors' house as police and fire sirens were heard wailing down the street.

"What?" Stan's voice on the other line exclaimed, "What the fuck? What happened? Is everyone okay? Everyone's safe, right? Oh my God, Kyle!"

I dropped onto the Donovans' couch as my parents explained the situation. Ike, his own computer clutched to his chest and his expression completely blank, sat down next to me, "E-everyone's safe. Everyone's out of the house. We're at Clyde's. I'm freaking out. I…" I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts. I could feel hot, stinging tears running down my face, "It just… went up. The TV just sparked! I had no idea what the fuck was happening and it just…"

"It's okay, Ky," Stan's voice was smooth, calming, "You're safe, right?

I nodded, then remembered that he couldn't see me, "Y-yeah… I-I'm safe. Everyone's s-safe," I stammered, "Stan… I almost went to bed an hour ago… I… I could have died."

"But you didn't. You're safe. That's all that matters, right? Everyone's safe. Holy shit…" I could practically see him, his head in his hands, his inky black hair falling into his wide, disbelieving, startlingly blue eyes, "I can't believe this… what happened?"

"Th-the wires… on the TV… they just… sparked! I didn't even know what was happening, it was fucking terrifying!" I stood up and began pacing around the Donovans' living room. Tears fell down my face, staining my shirt.

"I'm on my way over there. You're gonna be fine, Kyle."

I swallowed a dry lump in my throat, "I-I could have stopped it… It started small, I could have put it out!"

"Don't do that to yourself, Kyle. Don't think like that."

"It's very difficult to think rationally right now, Stan! My body is flooding with adrenaline. My head is reeling, my pulse is rushing; I'm freaking out!"

"Relax, Ky. You're gonna be okay. Everything's gonna be okay. Don't try to think rationally, you'll drive yourself insane."

"I could have died…" I mumbled, more to myself than to Stan.

"But you didn't. That's what's important. I'll see you in a sec." The line went dead.

I stumbled blindly into Clyde's bathroom and made my way to the sink. I ran the cold water over my hand, splashing it onto my face and running my wet fingers through my hair, and clasped my hand onto the back of my neck.

Stan Marsh was on his way. Stan Marsh, my Super Best-Friend, was on his way. Stan Marsh, my secret crush of over a year, was on his way to comfort me in my neediest, most pathetic hour.

I looked up at the mirror. My eyes were red and bloodshot, and my nose was visibly swollen and red. I looked like shit.

I pulled my green ushanka back over my Jewfro and stumbled out of the house to stand on the Donovans' front porch, desperately trying not to watch as my flaming house was doused with never-ending torrents of frigid water. My attention was completely focused on the bracelet on my wrist that I couldn't stop fidgeting with.

Stan was running towards my street frantically, his jacket open and his arms pumping furiously. "Kyle!" he shouted. He saw my house behind me and his eyes widened.

I clutched onto my bare arms, wishing that I had grabbed a coat, and shivered, watching Stan run towards the wreckage.

That's when I resolved to do something that I would have totally regretted not doing if I really had died that night.

I ran towards Stan, my pace nearly matching his, threw my arms around his neck, and pressed my lips to his, kissing his as if my very life depended on it. He stepped back, shocked, but didn't pull away, and soon was kissing me back. His hands wrapped firmly around my waist and pulled my body closer to his.

Shivering and whimpering pathetically like a wounded puppy, I pulled away from the kiss and buried my face in Stan's neck. He ran his hands down my back comforting, "K-Kyle?" he stammered.

"What?" I asked, not bothering to take my face away from his neck. My lips brushed over his skin as I spoke.

"What the fuck was that?"

"My house is on fire. I could have died. Just fuck off and let me have my moment, okay?" Still, I didn't remove my face from Stan's neck.

A finger was pressed to the bottom of my chin, lifting my head and forcing me to face Stan. His eyes were a soft gray-blue, and there was a look on his face that I didn't recognize. He tilted his head slightly and raised a thumb to wipe a tear away from my eye. The corners of his mouth lifted a bit before he leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine gently. I immediately kissed him back. I nibbled on his bottom lip and he opened his mouth and extended his tongue, which he swiped under my bottom lip and over my teeth.

Stan held me the same way I'd seen him hold Wendy, with one hand on my waist and the other holding up my chin. My arms were locked securely around his neck and I had to stand on my toes to reach his height. We continued like that for who-knows-how-long.

"A-hem?" A voice behind me interrupted. I froze. Stan broke away from the kiss and gave the person behind me a death glare. I turned my head, not breaking my embrace with Stan, and glared at my little brother, who was smiling evilly. "If you two are done, I have a status report," Ike announced.

Stan held up a middle finger, "Fuck off, Ike." With that, Stan pulled me into another kiss.

Ike kept talking anyway, "The fire's out – it was confined pretty much to the living room. Everything in the living room is trashed, and everything in the house is covered in soot, but the house is structurally sound. The whole house is filled with smoke, so everything soft will smell like soot forever. We'll need new clothes and bedding and stuff. We're staying with Grandpa until the repairs are done."

"What part of 'fuck off' don't you understand?" I growled at my little brother. He left, the evil smirk still on his face.

Stan turned my face towards his again and stared me down with his steely gray-blue eyes, "Are you okay, Ky?"

I nodded, "I am, now."

"Good," he leaned forward and gave me a quick peck on the lips.

I buried my head in his neck again, "Thanks, Stan."

He brushed his hand over the top of my head, "No problem," Stan mumbled, "I'm here for you. I love you, man."

"I love you, too, Stan," I mumbled into his neck.


Soooo, yeah. My house burned down. Well, not totally. Like Ike said, it's structurally sound, but everything's trashed.
Also, I've had a crush on my best friend since a while before I came out... and I wear a rainbow bracelet... 'cause I'm a BAMF! I pretty much made Kyle into myself... only he has no soul, because he's a ginger.
Click the review button and I'll give you a special cookie that only I can see. It will give you magical powers.
Does WoW have forums? Also, what's Kyle's address? (I no do research.)