A/N:Already I hear you all screaming "Hey! You're already doing a Fire Emblem game!" which while yes I am, that story is focusing more on Chrom and Lucina so I decided to focus on my fav Fire Emblem Awakening character, Robin!(The male one as that's usually the one I played as because if I chose a girl I couldn't date my waifus...) This is a harem story but I don't intend to have it as a lemon story like some of my other stories.(I might have a side story with lemon scenes but I wanted to focus more on plot while also attempting comedy)
This story won't end as a harem but I hope that doesn't deter anyone, despite enjoying harems I never really enjoyed the harem endings some have, mostly because I feel like it's a cheap way of not letting the protagonist finding a way to deal with each girl.
Enough of my rambling though! Also I'm going to borrow(Steal) an idea from the writer PRemington900, who actually was my inspiration to write, by having a shoutout feature here in the Authors Note. My first shoutout goes to PRemington900 story "The Tactician magician" a semi-harem retelling of Fire Emblem Awakening, and my second shoutout goes to Blindknyttstories for his (Sadly) discontinued harem story "The Grandmaster Returns"(He never said it was cancelled but I'm assuming it is.)
~Elizabeth
Ever wonder how amazing it would be to have everybody wanting you? Weather it is from everyone wanting to be your friend to everybody wanting to be your lover. It sounds amazing, being the center of attention...But no...It's not, not even close...
My name is Robin, I'm the tactician of the shepherds and apparently Ylisse's most eligible bachelor. It was nothing new, whenever the shepherds strolled through town we would always have girls throw flowers at us and yell for us but lately it's been...Different...The girls in the crowds seem to always shout my name and direct their flowers towards me, sellers always seem to give me a discount on whatever I order and even the female shepherds seem to be paying me more attention.
This wouldn't be a problem to be completely honest, I had written down plans should such a instance occur but...I never wrote down plans in case of cheating. Every female shepherd, even the married ones such as Queen Sumia, having been glancing my way and yearning for me. I didn't know why to be honest, I thought for a while that it was because I talked to everyone and always offered my assistance but that didn't make much sense for it to affect everyone.
After some tracing I believe to have found the reason for everyone acting the way they do and it's partially my fault and partially Chrom's fault...It all started one night when we were alone in Chrom's room. I remember it quite well as it only happened two weeks ago, it was just the two of us as we were reviewing our strategy to help rebuild the kingdom's currency as we had just returned from claiming victory over Plegia.
2 Weeks Ago
Me and Chrom looked over the currency plans that the economic advisors had proposed to us, they were average at best and atrocious at worst that it made us wonder about the people writing our tax bills. We sighed and decided to take a break as he leaned back in our chairs and began talking. "Ugh...I swear Robin, I think Naga herself would damn those advisors if she saw these plans."
"Oh she wouldn't just damn them, she would go back and change history so they were never born." Chrom let out a low chuckle as he reached up and grabbed a bottle of wine from under his desk. "Drinking tonight?"
"Anything to pass the time my friend haha, want some?"
"Ah no...I'm trying to stay sober." Chrom shrugged as he popped open the bottle and began drinking as the only sounds were the crickets outside "It feels weird being in here, usually Sumia is busy in here."
"Well her and Cordelia are visiting Cordelia's family to celebrate the birth of Cordelia's new cousin, they were best friends when they were young so Sumia is basically considered their family."
"And you decided not to go?"
"Please Robin, you know how awkward that would be..." I let out a laugh as I scooted back up to look at the plans when my foot kicked something that was under the table.
"Whats this?" Chrom looked at me as I pulled a book out from under the desk and looked it over "The...Book of Hearts?"
Chrom looked it over and shrugged "It's a book Virion gave to Sumia at our private wedding party, apparently it's a big romance book so he thought she would enjoy it."
I gave a small laugh as I opened the book and began looking over the pages when I immediately noticed something was...off..."Chrom...This looks more like a spellbook than a romance book..."
Chrom scooted over and looked before speaking "Nah I think it's just something fun for girls to do together, kinda like Sumia flower fortunes. See this page tells a bunch of random stuff for you to do to kiss your true love."
"Yeah...And this page details what to do to have a happy marriage...The steps here are...Uh...Interesting...I can't believe people actually believe this crap." I gave a laugh of my own as I crossed my legs as I began flipping through the pages reading the interesting and ridiculous pages.
Time continued to pass until a knock was heard at the door "Come on in."
Chrom yelled out and a few seconds later the door opened as Maribelle walked in "My Lord."
"Oh Maribelle, what can I do for you?" Chrom pushed himself out of the chair as he walked over to Maribelle.
"I'm sorry to interrupt you this late but the parcel you asked about is ready to be retrieved. I placed it in Lissa's room so you can go and retrieve it later my lord."
Chrom gave a smile as he nodded "Thanks Maribelle...Though if it isn't any trouble,could you bring it on over to my room? I need to start getting it ready but I'm afraid I'm quite busy at the moment with Robin..."
Maribelle seemed a bit annoyed but quickly shook it off as she smiled "Of course My lord, I'll be back in a few moments." Maribelle turned to me and bowed "Robin, I hope you're doing well."
"Yes thank you Maribelle, I hope you're doing the same."
"Indeed, thank you for your concern. Please do get some sleep tonight, our lessons are tommorow."
"Ah, of course." She smiled and bowed before turning to leave as Chrom and I were by ourselves once again.
"Well I'm glad that finally was retrieved, I've been waiting quite a while."
"What is it?"
"Just a small parcel, something for me to carry maps and the such in...Now what page were we on?"
I looked at the page and quickly scanned it over before laughing "Apparently it's a spell for you to have everyone of the opposite sex to fall in love with you. And if that isn't funny enough, then the steps are even more ridiculous."
"What are the steps?"
"The three steps are to pour salt in each hand,close the hands and spin in circle three times before finally throwing the salt in the air and screaming 'may the gods grant me salty love' which just sounds wrong haha." I went to turn the page when Chrom grabbed my hand causing me to look at him.
"Robin...You must try this!"
"Huh, why?"
"Because it's revenge for you making me try Sumia's new Raspberry pie...Something you said you would do but backed out at the last moment..." Oh...Right...
"Uh...Well I mean...You can make me do something else..."
"Either do this or spy on Sully taking a bath while standing next to her horse."
"Alright where's the salt?" Chrom laughed as he went over to his bed stool and pulled out a bucket of salt.
"Never know when you're going to need it!" I rolled my eyes as I took my cloak off and threw it onto the bed before dipping my hands into the bucket and getting a good handful of salt in each hand. "Alright Robin, you may proceed."
I sighed as I put my hands out to the side before spinning in circle three times before finally throwing the salt up into the air as I shouted "May The gods grant me salty love!"
Before Chrom could even burst out laughing a huge flash of lightning struck right next to the window as harsh winds broke through and blew all of the candles out except for the one next to the book, as it fell over and caught the book on fire "Oh Naga!"
Chrom shouted as he took a sheet and quickly pounded on the flame before it was out as the room was now shrouded in darkness "Well...That could'ave gone better."
I laughed as I walked over and quickly snapped my fingers to relit the candles, Chrom grabbed some matches to help and within moments the room was relit. "Was anything burnt Robin?"
I looked around and didn't see anything until I looked at the book "Looks like the page we were on was burnt."
Chrom looked down and sighed "Indeed...Though it looks like just the page we were on was burnt, let's go ahead and get it cleaned up."
Chrom began cleaning the ashes up as I walked over to my coat, only to see the winds had blown the salt all over it "Ugh...Of course, guess I'll have to get this thing cleaned..."
I sighed as I threw the coat back onto the bed and walked back over towards Chrom "Thankfully it wasn't a big mess...Guess we should put the book back up and start back on the plans right?"
"Yeah lets-" I couldn't finish my sentence before a knock could be heard at the door "Guess Maribelle's back..."
"Indeed..." Chrom pushed himself up and walked over to the door before opening it, while he did that I started to reorganize the desk. Chrom opened the door and indeed Maribelle was behind it "I see you have returned Maribelle."
"Yes my lord, here is the Parcel you wanted."
"Thank you Maribelle, it saved us a lot of time."
"Of course My Lord."
"Well me and Robin have quite a few things to do tonight, I'll see you tomorrow."
"H-Huh? R-Robin?" Maribelle looked past Chrom and saw me re-arranging the desk as her face took a sudden deep crimson red turn "M-May I..."
"Huh?"
"M-May I talk to Robin?"
"Uh...Sure." Chrom let Maribelle into the room as she slowly walked in as he face was aimed at the floor "Hey Robin, Maribelle needs to talk to you."
I turned around and saw Maribelle staring at the floor for some reason, I guess it was because my coat was off and my arms were exposed, she always hated men wearing less clothing than required. "Hey Maribelle, need something?"
She flinched before moving her feet a little bit as she slowly lifted her head "R-Robin..."
"Um...Yes?"
Her face was a cherry red as she fidgeted around as she looked side to side, avoiding eye contact with me "I-It's about our lessons tomorrow..."
"What about them?" She kept fidgeting before taking a big breath and looked me directly in the eyes.
"I-I want to teach you what noble couples do together!" Maribelle shouted as she looked into my eyes and everything became clear. Her mannerisms, her blushed face, her somewhat informal way of speaking...It all made sense.
She was roleplaying a girl trying to ask someone on a date, I have to give her credit, she didn't have to go this far to get that authentic performance. But it shows how committed she is, guess I should return the favor "Oh alright, and in return I'll show you what commoners such as myself do together."
I gave her a smile as a wide smile of her own crossed her face as she looked at me, she gave a miny squeal before running up towards me and giving me a hug before breaking off and running past Chrom and to the door "Alright, see you tomorrow Robin~"
She acted very out of character as she squealed and talked before she finally ran completely out of the room, I gave a small laugh as I turned back around and started fixing everything back up "Well her acting is quite on point."
"Uh, Acting Robin?"
"Yes Acting, it was obvious she was trying to imitate a girl in love for our lessons so I have to give her credit for a very good performance...Now only if she put that much effort into everything else." I gave a laugh as I kept working before Chrom walked up to me and put his hand on my shoulder.
"Robin...Are you really that dense?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean I'm pretty sure she wasn't acting, I think she actually likes you."
"Right and you're the prince of Plegia! Please Chrom, I know my comrades and I know Maribelle would never act like that naturally."
"Hehe, whatever you say my friend." Chrom laughed and sat down as we continued throughout the night, while we both debated Maribelle's behavior, it was mostly ignored. Little did we know that was just the beginning...And more evidence would arise just the very next day.
The Next Day
I awoke the next day as the sun shone through the windows and into the bedroom, I had fallen asleep in Chrom's room at the desk while Chrom was passed out on the floor from his drinking. I yawned as I pushed myself up and tried to wake Chrom up. "Hey come on Chrom."
"Uh...Give me...Five more minutes Emm..." Right...Why am I surprised? Chrom always gets like this when he drinks...I should go on to breakfast and ignore him. I sighed as I walked over to the bed and looked over my coat, the salt was still clearly on it...Of course. I rolled my eyes as I just walked past it and left the room with just my undershirt covering my chest.
Once I entered the hall something felt...Off...While the butlers were attending to their duties the maids were...Not...They were in circles gossiping and laughing. While I thought everyone deserved a break, they should still do...Something right?
I walked past them and gave a small wave and they stopped and stared at me...And started talking and blushing amongst each other. They kept staring at me as I watched while I walked and finally I just turned and fast walked to the stairs, they were honestly freaking me out some. To my dismay though it seemed all of the maids were like this as they stopped, stared, blushed and talked amongst themselves as I walked through...Was it because I didn't have my cloak on? Is...Is it that bad looking?
I finally arrived in the diner and the world seemed to stop as everyone looked at me, both the male and female shepherds. The girls seemed to be acting like the maids while the guys seemed...Annoyed? Did...I do something wrong?
I slowly walked over over to the food and got some breakfast as I slowly walked over to a solo table and sat down, being watched the entire time. I could feel the sweat drip down the back of my neck as it made me nervous...This wasn't one of Lissa's pranks was it?
As I began to eat, the males and females all gathered at two different tables and began talking. Both with very different expressions that made me worry even more as I slowly kept eating, finally both sides seemed to agree on something. Finally the girls all nodded as Nowi jumped up from the table and ran over to where I was "Hey Robin!"
The guys all gave a glare towards me which made me shiver but I tried to ignore them and responded to Nowi "Hey um...Nowi, good morning."
"Good morning Robin! Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to play today!"
"Well...I'm kinda busy, perhaps some other time?" Nowi gave a puffy face as she sat down on the opposite side of me and looked at me.
"Aww...But everyone's going to be there!"
"Uh, everyone?"
"Yeah everyone! Lissa, Sully, Maribelle, Panne,Miriel, Tharja, myself and Olivia!" Uh...Sully...Panne...Pretty much anybody but you and Lissa I can't believe.
"I-I see...A-And what time would this be?"
"Right after breakfast!"
That's when I was going to do my lessons with Maribelle...But if she's going to be with everyone else..."Uh, I might be able to but uh...Where would we be playing at?"
"Oh we were all going to take a bath and play together!" What?
Uh...Right..."I-I appreciate the offer but um...I'll pass..."
"Aw...I knew her idea would be turned down, you're not some perv like those other guys!"
"Whos idea?"
"Tharja's! She said that if we offered to take a bath with you, then there's no way you would turn our offer down! But I know you Robin, you would much rather throw rocks at snacks!" Actually I would much rather study...
"I appreciate both offers but uh...I have a date...Yeah..."
"A date!?" Nowi screamed my words at the top of her lungs causing both tables to look at me, curiosity from the guys and a mix of anger and sadness from the girls.
"A date in the sense that I have somewhere to be...Not a romantic one..."
"Oh...That's good, but you're not one to cheat on anyone Robin!" Cheat? When the hell did I ever have anyone to cheat on? "But that's disappointing! We all really wanted you to hang with us!"
"Y-Yeah I'm sorry...I'm busy with Chrom though..." Nowi again gave a puffy face but seemed to understand.
"Well...You are the tactician...But you gotta play sometime! I found the perfect snake pit we can play in!" Oh good...Can't wait...
I smiled and nodded as Nowi seemed content as she jumped up and ran back over to the table filled with girls, and the anger and sadness seemed to disperse as they all nodded and kept chatting. I thought I was in the clear but then Lon'qu stood up from the guy's table and walked over to me..Great..."Good Morning...Lon'qu..."
"...Robin..." Man of few words, Lon'qu sat down where Nowi was sitting earlier and stared holes into me "...I have a question..."
"Uh...Yes?"
"...Why...Can't all the women shut up about you? I was training in my room last night when Panne suddenly woke up and began blabbering about you...Do you have any idea why?"
"None that I can think of...Unless Tharja tried something..."
"Doubtful...That woman would much rather have you for herself than share you..." You...Don't have to remind me..."Still...For not only my wife, but also Vaike's and Gaius wife as well...It seems too weird."
So...Panne, Sully and Lissa all suddenly woke up and started talking about me? It sounds like some kind of hex..."Well...I honestly have no idea, but today has been weird since I woke up."
"...How?"
"When I came down to the mess hall the maids weren't working and were just together talking, and when I waved to them they got embarrassed and talked faster it seems...That continued the entire time I walked here...And of course everything that has happened here..."
"...And nothing was like this yesterday?"
"No...Yesterday I walked in here yesterday with no problems and even ate breakfast with everyone just fine..."
"...Hm...Well maybe you've been cursed for a while and your cloak blocked it...Maybe you should put it back on..."
"A similar thought crossed my mind earlier...Though I need to wash it...Ah well, guess I'll wear it until then..."
"Hmph...Just watch out...While I have no plans of cutting you down, the others may not be as forgiving should you take their love ones..." Great advice Lon'qu...You always make me feel safe...
He didn't say anymore before he got up and walked back over to the table with the males leaving me by my lonesome...It seemed the girls were going to send someone else over so I quickly got up and got rid of my trash as I rushed out of the room and back to Chrom's room.
Chrom's Room
I ran as fast as I could before finally reaching Chrom's room, and once I entered I was relieved to see nothing was changed. My coat was still on the bed and Chrom was still passed out on the floor...Well I guess putting my cloak back on should help.
I picked it up and despite the salt over it, I slid it back on but I could feel the salt on the inside get on my bare arms and itch. I gave a sigh and went over to plans we were reviewing last night and grabbed my thoron and wallet and turned to leave when flapping could be heard outside the window.
I turned to look and was surprised to see Cordelia and Sumia of all people heading towards the window, though why were they going towards the window? Why not the stable? I went over to unlock the window when thoughts crossed into my head...What if...They were like the rest?
I gulped and decided against unlocking the window and just quickly closed the curtains enveloping the room in darkness. I gave another gulp as I turned to leave when an knock was on the door "Yo Chrom! It's Sully, got a minute?"
You gotta be kidding me...The doors blocked by Sully...And the windows by Sumia and Cordelia...Meaning I'm trapped. "Damn..."
