A Serious Case of Misdirected Allure

DISCLAIMER: Since this is what I call fan fiction, I don't own the rights to either "Miranda" or "Sherlock." Obviously.

NOTE: 11-11-11

I just wanted to post something special on this historic date and what is more amusing than a crossover of two my favorite shows ever! I know that they're from different genres but that's what makes it more fun to combine them. The thought of Miranda and Sherlock crossing paths was too hilarious to pass up on. And this is also a response the appalling lack of "Miranda" fan fiction. Honestly, the show needs more love.

So I'm writing this from Miranda's point of view which is really tricky as I don't have much experience in first-person narratives and it's very difficult to translate Miranda Hart's reactions and facial expressions into writing. But I'll try my best.

I have no idea how long this is going to be but I'll try to keep it as interesting as I can. I don't know if I can seriously imagine them together so I don't think this is going to be ship story. If anything, the attraction is bound to be one-sided. And this is probably going to be the greatest crack ship ever imagined. But if you watch both shows, you can pretty much know what to expect from this. Or not. Even I don't know where this is heading. All I know is, I just had to do this.

I don't pretend to have even a fraction of Miranda's wit or Sherlock's brilliance.

This is just my humble tribute to two shows that I am madly in love with. And this is also to pass the time while waiting for the new seasons to begin. So I hope you find this as amusing as I do.

Enjoy!

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Well, hello there! How are you?

Great, now back to me!

As you may have noticed, I'm not at home today. And yes, that is Big Ben in the background. You guessed correctly! I'm in London!

Previously in my life, I decided to take a holiday in London to get away from mother, who continues to pester me about finding a man; from Stevie, who's taken the work at the joke shop far too seriously (which really doesn't make any sense since it's a JOKE shop!); and from Gary, and all the complications he reminds me of.

No, I have decided to become a more independent and cosmopolitan woman. So I found me a charming little flat in central London.

Yes, thank you, thank you, I know you think I'm amazing.

I have to admit, it was a nightmare to find some decent lodging in London, so the place I settled for is far from ideal. But my landlady, Mrs. Hudson, is a lovely woman.

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"Well, I hope you will be comfortable here, dear," Mrs. Hudson told me when I first arrived, "I'm glad somebody finally took this place on."

"Oh, it will do very nicely," I told her though I was really thinking:

"I can see why no one's ever taken the place. There's damp all over. It's practically the bottom of a pirate ship!"

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I managed to clean the place up as best as I could though.

Mrs. Hudson told me that there were a couple of other people living in the flat upstairs.

"I'm warning you now though that they tend to be a little…" she hesitated before saying, "…adventurous."

"Oh, not to worry, Mrs. Hudson," I replied confidently, "for I am very open to adventure."

Or at least I try to be. Even the damp on those walls was already beginning to scare me.

"Believe me, dearie," Mrs. Hudson said gravely, "you won't be ready for the kind of adventures those two get into."

Rude.

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Anyway, I finally met my two neighbors one day while I was coming back from sightseeing. John Watson seems like a lovely fellow. But his friend….ugh, what an arrogant, judgmental, irritating man!

Imagine, the first time I met them, he merely gave me a quick look over before telling his friend, "Don't waste time chatting with the tourist, John, we have more important things to do."

"I beg your pardon, sir," I replied in outrage, "I'll have you know that I am well-acquainted with London life and I am not a tourist."

"Ah," he said coolly, "so how do you explain your 'I Love London' T-shirt, the non-professional digital camera in your hand, and the 'Tourist Guide to London' book that is protruding from your handbag full of cheap souvenirs like miniature Big Ben key chains and refrigerator magnets?"

My jaw dropped at this and I couldn't find anything to say. He gave me a smug smirk.

"Sorry about that," John told me politely, "don't worry, he's like that to everyone."

"Well, I don't see anything wrong with doing a little shopping for my friends who've never been to London before," I managed to answer.

"I never said there was anything wrong with that," he replied nonchalantly, "but are you sure you're going to give those to your friends? Or maybe you prefer to erect a miniature version of London on your living room table?"

Again, I stared at him in shock. But I managed to recover quickly this time.

"Absolute rubbish," I told him.

But he was absolutely right.

He merely shrugged and entered his flat. John Watson gave me another apologetic look before following his friend into their flat.

The nerve of that Sherlock Holmes!

Just because he was spot-on about everything about me doesn't give him the right to get all cocky. (DON'T EVEN GO THERE.)

But then again, as infuriating as he is, he is still strangely appealing. And from what I've heard from Mrs. Hudson, he's still single too.

Hmmm…

I think I might have to turn on my allure.

I never thought I'd say this but it seems that my little trip to London is going to be …

SUCH FUN!