Tiz a joint venture from those they call Ken and Nev (and Brian - the brain
they share).
Severus/Quirrell slash it is - Don't like it, go away!
Ok here's a warning - implied sexual relations, some bad language but not much. Oh yeah - and it's SLASH (for all those who can't read). By the way, we made Quirrell Welsh for our own entertainment, and if anyone would like to know the meanings of the words, feel free to ask!
Disclaimer: We do not own any of these characters, or Wales for that matter, but if anyone would like to get us Alan Rickman for Christmas we'd be eternally grateful!
R/R - Tell us what is wrong and we'll fix it, although we do not take kindly to flames sent for stupid reasons (ie because it's slash or because Quirrell isn't Welsh) - any of these will be fed to Nev's fish or Ken's antelope ......ENJOY!
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Sitting alone in his cold, dark room, Quirrell huddled up in the corner. It had been three years since that incident with Voldemort, but still he couldn't shake off the nightmares that had plagued him almost every night. It was thought that he had died in that encounter with Harry Potter, but apparently Dumbledore had known all along about his reluctant involvement with Voldemort and had put some form of protective spell on him. As soon as Voldemort thought him to be dead he fled, and as soon as he fled Dumbledore had brought him back. Not that he was ungrateful, but part of him wished that he had stayed 'dead'. The guilt and the nightmares were too much to bear for the more than usually fragile man. His only solace was his house; the small cottage situated in the vast hills and valleys of Wales - his parents' home. He found comfort in the beautiful views and the familiar surroundings, reminding him of his carefree and easygoing childhood. Children were so naive he thought, growing up thinking they were safe from the 'baddies', that their parents could protect them from anything, or that things would go away if they simply closed their eyes. On many occasions he had tested this foolish notion, hoping that by simply closing his eyes, Voldemort would disappear. Sighing, he stood up and walked towards the table in the centre of the room. He picked up the parchment on his desk and read it once again.
Dear Boy
I hope that you are feeling well and you are not as troubled by your past as you were before. I would like to request your attendance at a meeting taking place at Hogwarts tomorrow. It is of grave importance and I believe it would be beneficial to everyone concerned if you were there. Please consider it.
Best wishes,
Albus Dumbledore
Quirrell sighed again and slunk into his chair. It would be nice to see the headmaster again, but Hogwarts held too many bad memories for him. Anyway, he had no idea how the children - especially Harry - would react to seeing him for the first time since, well, he didn't want to think about it. What exactly did Dumbledore mean, beneficial? The letter sounded important, so he decided that he would go. Iesu Mawr - why did everything happen to him? He climbed the stairs dejectedly and made his way towards his bed. As he drifted off into a dreamless sleep for the first time in months, one thought played on his mind - Pam fi, Duw? Pam fi?
***********************************************
The sun shone through the window, illuminating Quirrell's face as he awoke. He got up and sleepily went down the stairs to the kitchen, where his mother was making breakfast.
"Morning cariad."
"Morning ma", he said as he kissed her cheek.
"Where's da?"
"Oh he's just gone into the village to get the paper and to see the butcher."
Quirrell nodded and sat down at the table. He enjoyed living in the close- knit Muggle village with his parents; there was an air of isolation from the rest of the world, something that he badly needed at this time. His parents were of the wizarding world, but had always lived amongst Muggles. Maybe they thought about it the same way he did, he mused. His train of thought was interrupted by the sound of a plate hitting the table in front of him.
"Diolch ma."
He had been made to learn Welsh from a young age. His parents spoke it and thought it best for him to also, to help him 'blend in with the crowd' as they called it. To be fair, it had helped him since they lived in a predominantly Welsh - speaking village, and it had come to be a great advantage to him during heated debates with his fellow students at Hogwarts. Ah yes, Hogwarts. Today was when he was to travel back to the place of his demise.
"Ma, I'm going back to see Dumbledore today."
"Are you sure cariad? Do you think you can handle it?"
He thought a moment about this. His parents had nursed him through the last three years and he didn't want them to have to go through it all again.
"Yes. I'm sure."
"O.K, but I'm sure you'll surprise a few people."
"How so?"
"Well for a start your stutter has gone - but your accent is a lot more prominent!" she chuckled.
"Not entirely ma - I still falter when I'm nervous. And as for this dreadful accent, I'm sure it will fade over time like it did before" he playfully teased.
"Do you know when you must leave?"
"No, I wasn't given a time, but I was going to leave after breakfast."
"Very well. In that case you better eat your breakfast!"
He rolled his eyes before laughing, taking small bites of his food as he did so.
"Cariad, is there anything you need before you go?"
"Well, my wand please."
He hadn't had his wand since his arrival from Hogwarts, but never complained as he had never once needed it.
"It's in the drawer with your fathers - I'll get it for you now."
As she did this, Quirrell went upstairs to get changed. Not knowing who was going to be at the meeting, he couldn't decide what to wear. Suddenly realising that he didn't have to dress to impress, he decided to go as himself; the man that was before Voldemort. Opening his wardrobe, he took out a pair of blue jeans and a cream coloured roll-neck jumper. They may be Muggle clothing he thought, but this was what he felt most comfortable in. Knowing that Dumbledore would understand, he pulled on his shoes and went back down to his mother.
"Here's your wand cariad - very smart I must say!"
"Diolch ma - I just didn't feel ready to wear my robes..."
"Yes I can understand dear, and I'm sure Albus will too."
He smiled as he hugged his mother.
"Take care son."
"I will ma - tell dad I said bye. I'll see you later."
"O.K - oh, and send Severus our love."
With that comment reverberating around his head, he disapparated to Hogsmeade.
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Looking up the road towards the centre of Hogsmeade, he smiled. It felt good to be amongst the wizarding world again, even if it was more dangerous. Walking up the road he chuckled to himself as bemused wizards looked at him, wondering who he was and why he was wearing Muggle clothes. He hadn't changed that much in the way of looks, but then again he wasn't wearing that ridiculous turban like he did before! Entering Hogsmeade was thrilling - he had forgotten how interesting it was. The last time he was here was with - ah yes, Severus Snape. The two of them had been friends since their schooldays, albeit a secret friendship. After all, Sevvi was a Slytherin! After school was finally over, they had realised it was much more than friendship they felt for each other. Looking back on it, it was quite comical to see the two of them trying to admit it to the other. They moved to a little house in the English countryside and spent many a happy time there. Regularly his parents would come and visit - they had always liked Severus and accepted their relationship completely. However, they still made sure not to get too intimate in front of them, as even the most open-minded person in the world may feel slightly uncomfortable at the sight of their son kissing another man; he stuck to that belief mainly because he believed his father would feel awkward, but also because he would have been embarrassed himself. Everything had been fine until he got offered that job - to travel around the world, to see everything he had spent his life reading about. The offer was too good to refuse, so he had gone. He stayed in contact with Severus frequently at first, even trying to meet up on occasions, but it didn't last long. The distance separated them both physically and emotionally and, even though they still loved each other (or at least he loved Severus), they both knew it wouldn't work out and so they went their separate ways. Ever since he found out Severus had joined the Dark Lord, he blamed himself; 'if I had stayed, he would never have joined him' was all that went through his mind. Looking up, Quirrell suddenly realised he was outside The Three Broomsticks. Walking in, he instantly recognised the smell of the bar and the sound of people laughing. Smiling, he walked towards the bar to where Rosemarta was standing.
"Good morning Rosemarta."
"God morning - do I know you?"
"I should hope so! After all, I was your favourite customer."
He smiled at the blank look on her face.
"Well, I see your memory must be going. Either that or this cheeky little Welshboy has changed so much that not even his dear old friend will recognise him."
"Welshboy? I only know one that was a friend and that was, no, you can't be! Quirrell?"
"The very one."
"My dear boy! I never thought I'd see you again!"
"You weren't the only one Rosie!"
"What can I get you? The usual?"
"No thank you - I just popped in to say hello."
"Ah. So what brings you to this part of the world again?"
"I'm on my way to see Albus at Hogwarts actually."
"Really? Dressed like that? (no offence) It's no surprise I didn't recognise you, what with the clothes and the accent!"
Quirrell laughed as his mother's words came back into his head.
"But they are far more comfortable. Um, Rosie..."
"Yes?"
"The Potter boy - how is he?"
"Fine dear. I know what you are thinking so don't. You did not hurt him in your encounter. Besides, he doesn't blame you - he knows it was the Dark Lord's work."
"Yes - thanks. But how will he react to seeing me again? I'm not even sure if Albus told anyone I wasn't dead, let alone I'm on my way to visit them."
"Well then, they'll think you're a ghost so don't worry!"
He laughed at this and looked at his Muggle watch.
"Ah, it's nearly dinnertime at Hogwarts - I think I might join them" he said with a mischievous grin.
"Don't scare the children too much deary!" Rosemarta shouted as he got up to leave.
"I'll try not to - bye!"
"Take care."
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Walking up to the doors of Hogwarts, a mix of emotions washed over Quirrell. How much he had loved the place! Quickly making up his mind, he knocked on the large oak doors. They opened on their own, almost as if they were expecting him. He walked through the doors and looked around - everything was the same, except for the staircases, which always moved. Realising that dinner had already started, he made his way towards the Great Hall. He pushed open the doors and walked in. Suddenly he didn't feel like that was a good idea. Hundreds of pairs of eyes were staring at him and some of the staff even had their wands out ready to attack - even Severus. Surely they must recognise him! Trying not to take any notice of this, Quirrell continued to walk slowly towards the staff table. Glancing up, he saw the smile on the headmaster's face and a hint of recognition in Severus' eyes.
"Ah, Owain my dear boy, please take a seat. I've been expecting you. Everyone, I would like you to please show hospitality to our new guest. As I'm sure some of you have already figured out, it is indeed one of your previous Defence Against the Dark Arts teachers, Professor Quirrell. Welcome back!"
The staff and students clapped politely but still looked confused as he sat down between Dumbledore and Minerva McGonagall.
"Th-thank you Albus."
Shit! There was his stupid stammer again. He composed himself and looked over to the Gryffindor table, where Harry and his friends were sitting. Harry looked up and smiled at him, and Quirrell - somewhat relieved - smiled back. Harry was now a fifth year, and had changed since he had last seen him. He was taller and more muscular, yet you could still see the scars of his past in his eyes. Quirrell then looked along the staff table, until he got to the end, where his gaze settled upon the place where Severus Snape was sitting. Severus was staring down at his plate, not looking up at anything or anyone. After the meeting with Dumbledore, he was going to talk to Severus. They didn't really part on the best of terms last time, and there were still a few things they needed to discuss. Sighing, he looked at his plate and started to eat.
"So, how have you been Owain?"
"Fine thank you Minerva - the country air has done me a world of good."
"I can tell - and I see you've found your accent too" she chuckled.
"Yes, apparently I have, although I can't really tell the difference."
"Yes - that's always the case. But the stammer has gone."
"Well...it resurfaces on occasion, but I like to think of it as one of the only good things to come from all of this."
"What do you mean? I'm afraid I don't understand."
"Because of the - incident - I was forced to start again, to build my life from scratch. It has helped me to be more sure of myself, I'm not as nervous. Although there are times I still feel nervous, they are a lot less frequent, hence the stammer not being apparent all the time."
"Ah, I see."
"Minerva, do please leave Owain alone. I think all this attention is going to make the poor fellow self-conscious" the headmaster chuckled.
Not realising what was meant, Quirrell looked up and saw that at least half of the female students were staring at him. He smiled at them and most broke into an embarrassed fit of giggles.
"I see what you mean Albus - it seems he has a few admirers."
Quirrell blushed and continued to eat his food. He knew Albus probably guessed the nature of his relationship with Severus, but he highly doubted that Snape would have willingly told his fellow workers that he was gay, let alone that he had been involved with Quirrell. Knowing how proud a man Severus was, he decided it would be best not to mention their past or his sexual preferences in front of anyone. As everyone slowly left the Great Hall, Quirrel got up and, without looking where he was going, walked straight into the lean, muscular body of Severus Snape.
"Sorry Severus - I didn't see you there."
He stepped back and looked more closely at the man before him. He looked slightly older and somewhat harsher, but Quirrell still felt that unmistakable shiver down his spine that only Severus could cause.
"Next time watch it Quirrell."
Slightly taken aback by Severus' harsh tone, he watched in amazement as he walked away, his robes billowing out behind him.
"Don't worry about him Owain - he's had a hard time."
"Albus, did you tell..."
"No. I didn't. And I think that has upset him slightly."
"Slightly?"
"I think maybe you should talk to him later."
"Me? And what exactly should I say?"
"I don't know - maybe why you didn't contact him perhaps?"
"Would he have believed me if I had?"
"Probably not - but you know better than anyone what he's like."
With that, Albus led a thoughtful Quirrell up towards his office, where the meeting was to take place.
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As he walked in with the headmaster, he could instantly feel everyone's eyes on him. Dumbledore motioned for Quirrell to sit in the chair next to him. He looked around the room at the people present - Arabella Figg, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, Minerva, Severus and a few others whom he didn't recognise.
"Right, as you all can gather, there are a few things we need to discuss. Firstly, Fudge is still refusing to believe us about Voldemort's return, so we need to take matters into our own hands as we thought. Arthur Weasley has rallied up huge support in the Ministry and Fudge suspects nothing. Hagrid has sent word that the giant communtiy will be on our side every step of the way. And Alastor has informed me that Aurors are on constant guard at Azkaban, keeping an eye on the Dementors."
He paused to look at Severus before continuing.
"We also have been informed that Voldemort plans to strike soon, first the big wizarding families and then the villages such as Hogsmeade. Also, he plans on infiltrating Hogwarts to destroy me and everyone else whom he deems a threat."
Although somewhat expected, the news still startled many in the room, especially Quirrell.
"Um Albus, sorry to interrupt, but why am I here?"
"I was just geting to that Owain. You see, Voldemort has found out that you're alive and holds you as his biggest threat."
"B-but why?"
"My dear boy, I thought that would have been obvious! You, for quite a long period of time, shared a mind with Voldemort. You heard his thoughts, fears and even his plans. In a sense, you could be the key in his downfall."
"B-but I have p-put th-that behind me."
"I know Owain, but we need you to remember - it would give us an advantage that we thoroughly need."
He glanced around the room and realised Dumbledore was right - all of these people needed his help.
"Alright. Wh-what have I g-got to do?"
"Firstly, you need to calm down. You can't help anyone in this state. Secondly, I would ask you to stay here at Hogwarts. It will be much easier to work together and I would personally feel better knowing you were safe."
Quirrell nodded and looked up at the headmaster. He had never been so scared in his life, yet he knew deep down that this was what he had to do.
"You may go now if you wish Owain to make arrangements - I will fill you in on what you miss later."
Acknowledging the others, he got up and walked out of the office. With tears in his eyes he walked outside to sit next to the lake - him and Severus always went there when they needed cheering up.
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Walking back from the owlery, Quirrell felt a pang of guilt. He had told his mother he would be home and here he was, sending her a list of things that he wanted her to send him. He hadn't even said goodbye properly to his father. He knew he was being overdramatic, but to him, his parents were the only thing he had that truly meant something to him. Well, them and Severus. He still loved him, even after all these years, and would do anything for him. The painful part was not knowing if Severus felt the same way. He probably hated him, if not for their past then certainly for not getting in contact with him in the last three years. He needed to know where he stood - he could handle them being just friends, but couldn't bare the thought of them being enemies. Fuelled by adrenaline, he marched down to the dungeons, determined to confront Severus. Reaching the door, he could hear Severus' voice reverberating off every single surface in the Potions' classroom.
"LONGBOTTOM! I told you not to touch that - 50 points from Gryffindor! Now clean this mess up!"
Shivering slightly at the severity of his tone, Quirrell braced himself and walked into the room. Everyone turned to stare at him, even Severus, who looked quite annoyed.
"Prof.....Mr Quirrell do you mind? I am trying to teach a class here. They are stupid enough without having their lesson cut short."
"Sorry Professor Snape, but I need to talk to you about a rather important matter. Besides, if I'm not mistaken, this lesson ended 30 seconds ago."
Snape scowled and turned back to the class.
"Get out! All of you!"
No one argued as they all walked out silently, smiling at Quirrell as they did so. When the last person had finally left Quirrell shut the door and walked over to Severus, who was sitting at his desk with his head in his hands.
"I believe I owe you an explanation Severus."
"Well you believe wrong - we have nothing to discuss."
"I think we do. And I am not leaving until I have said what I came to say."
Severus sighed and looked up.
"Well then I suggest you should start now so we can get this over with quickly."
Quirrell placed himself on the edge of Severus' desk and began.
"About all of this - I'm sorry. I assumed Albus would have told you. And I'm sure you are wondering why I never contacted you. I was scared. I was in a terrible way, and the thought of you rejecting me again made me give up hope. So I never did. I convinced myself that the less I knew, the better. I also want to thank you."
"For what?"
"For trying to save me last time I was here. Believe me I tried - I really tried, but I couldn't beat him."
"Why didn't you tell me? I could've helped you!"
"No - you couldn't. Can you imagine what Voldemort would have done to you? I could, and that is why I kept you at a distance - I didn't want you to get hurt because of me."
"And you don't think your rejection hurt me?"
Quirrell cringed at the hurt in Severus' voice; he was a stubborn man, but he never had been able to hide his feelings from him.
"Sevvi - I'm sorry. Please believe me when I say I would do anything to make it up to you."
"Anything?"
"Yes."
"Ok then, here is what I want you to do. I want you to leave my room and never bother me again."
Shocked at this, and deeply saddened, Quirrell walked towards the door. As he opened it, he turned to look at Severus.
"Sevvi - I will always be here for you. Always, cariad."
With that he left, knowing that Severus no longer loved him, and that his heart was shattered into a thousand pieces.
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Severus/Quirrell slash it is - Don't like it, go away!
Ok here's a warning - implied sexual relations, some bad language but not much. Oh yeah - and it's SLASH (for all those who can't read). By the way, we made Quirrell Welsh for our own entertainment, and if anyone would like to know the meanings of the words, feel free to ask!
Disclaimer: We do not own any of these characters, or Wales for that matter, but if anyone would like to get us Alan Rickman for Christmas we'd be eternally grateful!
R/R - Tell us what is wrong and we'll fix it, although we do not take kindly to flames sent for stupid reasons (ie because it's slash or because Quirrell isn't Welsh) - any of these will be fed to Nev's fish or Ken's antelope ......ENJOY!
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Sitting alone in his cold, dark room, Quirrell huddled up in the corner. It had been three years since that incident with Voldemort, but still he couldn't shake off the nightmares that had plagued him almost every night. It was thought that he had died in that encounter with Harry Potter, but apparently Dumbledore had known all along about his reluctant involvement with Voldemort and had put some form of protective spell on him. As soon as Voldemort thought him to be dead he fled, and as soon as he fled Dumbledore had brought him back. Not that he was ungrateful, but part of him wished that he had stayed 'dead'. The guilt and the nightmares were too much to bear for the more than usually fragile man. His only solace was his house; the small cottage situated in the vast hills and valleys of Wales - his parents' home. He found comfort in the beautiful views and the familiar surroundings, reminding him of his carefree and easygoing childhood. Children were so naive he thought, growing up thinking they were safe from the 'baddies', that their parents could protect them from anything, or that things would go away if they simply closed their eyes. On many occasions he had tested this foolish notion, hoping that by simply closing his eyes, Voldemort would disappear. Sighing, he stood up and walked towards the table in the centre of the room. He picked up the parchment on his desk and read it once again.
Dear Boy
I hope that you are feeling well and you are not as troubled by your past as you were before. I would like to request your attendance at a meeting taking place at Hogwarts tomorrow. It is of grave importance and I believe it would be beneficial to everyone concerned if you were there. Please consider it.
Best wishes,
Albus Dumbledore
Quirrell sighed again and slunk into his chair. It would be nice to see the headmaster again, but Hogwarts held too many bad memories for him. Anyway, he had no idea how the children - especially Harry - would react to seeing him for the first time since, well, he didn't want to think about it. What exactly did Dumbledore mean, beneficial? The letter sounded important, so he decided that he would go. Iesu Mawr - why did everything happen to him? He climbed the stairs dejectedly and made his way towards his bed. As he drifted off into a dreamless sleep for the first time in months, one thought played on his mind - Pam fi, Duw? Pam fi?
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The sun shone through the window, illuminating Quirrell's face as he awoke. He got up and sleepily went down the stairs to the kitchen, where his mother was making breakfast.
"Morning cariad."
"Morning ma", he said as he kissed her cheek.
"Where's da?"
"Oh he's just gone into the village to get the paper and to see the butcher."
Quirrell nodded and sat down at the table. He enjoyed living in the close- knit Muggle village with his parents; there was an air of isolation from the rest of the world, something that he badly needed at this time. His parents were of the wizarding world, but had always lived amongst Muggles. Maybe they thought about it the same way he did, he mused. His train of thought was interrupted by the sound of a plate hitting the table in front of him.
"Diolch ma."
He had been made to learn Welsh from a young age. His parents spoke it and thought it best for him to also, to help him 'blend in with the crowd' as they called it. To be fair, it had helped him since they lived in a predominantly Welsh - speaking village, and it had come to be a great advantage to him during heated debates with his fellow students at Hogwarts. Ah yes, Hogwarts. Today was when he was to travel back to the place of his demise.
"Ma, I'm going back to see Dumbledore today."
"Are you sure cariad? Do you think you can handle it?"
He thought a moment about this. His parents had nursed him through the last three years and he didn't want them to have to go through it all again.
"Yes. I'm sure."
"O.K, but I'm sure you'll surprise a few people."
"How so?"
"Well for a start your stutter has gone - but your accent is a lot more prominent!" she chuckled.
"Not entirely ma - I still falter when I'm nervous. And as for this dreadful accent, I'm sure it will fade over time like it did before" he playfully teased.
"Do you know when you must leave?"
"No, I wasn't given a time, but I was going to leave after breakfast."
"Very well. In that case you better eat your breakfast!"
He rolled his eyes before laughing, taking small bites of his food as he did so.
"Cariad, is there anything you need before you go?"
"Well, my wand please."
He hadn't had his wand since his arrival from Hogwarts, but never complained as he had never once needed it.
"It's in the drawer with your fathers - I'll get it for you now."
As she did this, Quirrell went upstairs to get changed. Not knowing who was going to be at the meeting, he couldn't decide what to wear. Suddenly realising that he didn't have to dress to impress, he decided to go as himself; the man that was before Voldemort. Opening his wardrobe, he took out a pair of blue jeans and a cream coloured roll-neck jumper. They may be Muggle clothing he thought, but this was what he felt most comfortable in. Knowing that Dumbledore would understand, he pulled on his shoes and went back down to his mother.
"Here's your wand cariad - very smart I must say!"
"Diolch ma - I just didn't feel ready to wear my robes..."
"Yes I can understand dear, and I'm sure Albus will too."
He smiled as he hugged his mother.
"Take care son."
"I will ma - tell dad I said bye. I'll see you later."
"O.K - oh, and send Severus our love."
With that comment reverberating around his head, he disapparated to Hogsmeade.
***********************************************************
Looking up the road towards the centre of Hogsmeade, he smiled. It felt good to be amongst the wizarding world again, even if it was more dangerous. Walking up the road he chuckled to himself as bemused wizards looked at him, wondering who he was and why he was wearing Muggle clothes. He hadn't changed that much in the way of looks, but then again he wasn't wearing that ridiculous turban like he did before! Entering Hogsmeade was thrilling - he had forgotten how interesting it was. The last time he was here was with - ah yes, Severus Snape. The two of them had been friends since their schooldays, albeit a secret friendship. After all, Sevvi was a Slytherin! After school was finally over, they had realised it was much more than friendship they felt for each other. Looking back on it, it was quite comical to see the two of them trying to admit it to the other. They moved to a little house in the English countryside and spent many a happy time there. Regularly his parents would come and visit - they had always liked Severus and accepted their relationship completely. However, they still made sure not to get too intimate in front of them, as even the most open-minded person in the world may feel slightly uncomfortable at the sight of their son kissing another man; he stuck to that belief mainly because he believed his father would feel awkward, but also because he would have been embarrassed himself. Everything had been fine until he got offered that job - to travel around the world, to see everything he had spent his life reading about. The offer was too good to refuse, so he had gone. He stayed in contact with Severus frequently at first, even trying to meet up on occasions, but it didn't last long. The distance separated them both physically and emotionally and, even though they still loved each other (or at least he loved Severus), they both knew it wouldn't work out and so they went their separate ways. Ever since he found out Severus had joined the Dark Lord, he blamed himself; 'if I had stayed, he would never have joined him' was all that went through his mind. Looking up, Quirrell suddenly realised he was outside The Three Broomsticks. Walking in, he instantly recognised the smell of the bar and the sound of people laughing. Smiling, he walked towards the bar to where Rosemarta was standing.
"Good morning Rosemarta."
"God morning - do I know you?"
"I should hope so! After all, I was your favourite customer."
He smiled at the blank look on her face.
"Well, I see your memory must be going. Either that or this cheeky little Welshboy has changed so much that not even his dear old friend will recognise him."
"Welshboy? I only know one that was a friend and that was, no, you can't be! Quirrell?"
"The very one."
"My dear boy! I never thought I'd see you again!"
"You weren't the only one Rosie!"
"What can I get you? The usual?"
"No thank you - I just popped in to say hello."
"Ah. So what brings you to this part of the world again?"
"I'm on my way to see Albus at Hogwarts actually."
"Really? Dressed like that? (no offence) It's no surprise I didn't recognise you, what with the clothes and the accent!"
Quirrell laughed as his mother's words came back into his head.
"But they are far more comfortable. Um, Rosie..."
"Yes?"
"The Potter boy - how is he?"
"Fine dear. I know what you are thinking so don't. You did not hurt him in your encounter. Besides, he doesn't blame you - he knows it was the Dark Lord's work."
"Yes - thanks. But how will he react to seeing me again? I'm not even sure if Albus told anyone I wasn't dead, let alone I'm on my way to visit them."
"Well then, they'll think you're a ghost so don't worry!"
He laughed at this and looked at his Muggle watch.
"Ah, it's nearly dinnertime at Hogwarts - I think I might join them" he said with a mischievous grin.
"Don't scare the children too much deary!" Rosemarta shouted as he got up to leave.
"I'll try not to - bye!"
"Take care."
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Walking up to the doors of Hogwarts, a mix of emotions washed over Quirrell. How much he had loved the place! Quickly making up his mind, he knocked on the large oak doors. They opened on their own, almost as if they were expecting him. He walked through the doors and looked around - everything was the same, except for the staircases, which always moved. Realising that dinner had already started, he made his way towards the Great Hall. He pushed open the doors and walked in. Suddenly he didn't feel like that was a good idea. Hundreds of pairs of eyes were staring at him and some of the staff even had their wands out ready to attack - even Severus. Surely they must recognise him! Trying not to take any notice of this, Quirrell continued to walk slowly towards the staff table. Glancing up, he saw the smile on the headmaster's face and a hint of recognition in Severus' eyes.
"Ah, Owain my dear boy, please take a seat. I've been expecting you. Everyone, I would like you to please show hospitality to our new guest. As I'm sure some of you have already figured out, it is indeed one of your previous Defence Against the Dark Arts teachers, Professor Quirrell. Welcome back!"
The staff and students clapped politely but still looked confused as he sat down between Dumbledore and Minerva McGonagall.
"Th-thank you Albus."
Shit! There was his stupid stammer again. He composed himself and looked over to the Gryffindor table, where Harry and his friends were sitting. Harry looked up and smiled at him, and Quirrell - somewhat relieved - smiled back. Harry was now a fifth year, and had changed since he had last seen him. He was taller and more muscular, yet you could still see the scars of his past in his eyes. Quirrell then looked along the staff table, until he got to the end, where his gaze settled upon the place where Severus Snape was sitting. Severus was staring down at his plate, not looking up at anything or anyone. After the meeting with Dumbledore, he was going to talk to Severus. They didn't really part on the best of terms last time, and there were still a few things they needed to discuss. Sighing, he looked at his plate and started to eat.
"So, how have you been Owain?"
"Fine thank you Minerva - the country air has done me a world of good."
"I can tell - and I see you've found your accent too" she chuckled.
"Yes, apparently I have, although I can't really tell the difference."
"Yes - that's always the case. But the stammer has gone."
"Well...it resurfaces on occasion, but I like to think of it as one of the only good things to come from all of this."
"What do you mean? I'm afraid I don't understand."
"Because of the - incident - I was forced to start again, to build my life from scratch. It has helped me to be more sure of myself, I'm not as nervous. Although there are times I still feel nervous, they are a lot less frequent, hence the stammer not being apparent all the time."
"Ah, I see."
"Minerva, do please leave Owain alone. I think all this attention is going to make the poor fellow self-conscious" the headmaster chuckled.
Not realising what was meant, Quirrell looked up and saw that at least half of the female students were staring at him. He smiled at them and most broke into an embarrassed fit of giggles.
"I see what you mean Albus - it seems he has a few admirers."
Quirrell blushed and continued to eat his food. He knew Albus probably guessed the nature of his relationship with Severus, but he highly doubted that Snape would have willingly told his fellow workers that he was gay, let alone that he had been involved with Quirrell. Knowing how proud a man Severus was, he decided it would be best not to mention their past or his sexual preferences in front of anyone. As everyone slowly left the Great Hall, Quirrel got up and, without looking where he was going, walked straight into the lean, muscular body of Severus Snape.
"Sorry Severus - I didn't see you there."
He stepped back and looked more closely at the man before him. He looked slightly older and somewhat harsher, but Quirrell still felt that unmistakable shiver down his spine that only Severus could cause.
"Next time watch it Quirrell."
Slightly taken aback by Severus' harsh tone, he watched in amazement as he walked away, his robes billowing out behind him.
"Don't worry about him Owain - he's had a hard time."
"Albus, did you tell..."
"No. I didn't. And I think that has upset him slightly."
"Slightly?"
"I think maybe you should talk to him later."
"Me? And what exactly should I say?"
"I don't know - maybe why you didn't contact him perhaps?"
"Would he have believed me if I had?"
"Probably not - but you know better than anyone what he's like."
With that, Albus led a thoughtful Quirrell up towards his office, where the meeting was to take place.
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As he walked in with the headmaster, he could instantly feel everyone's eyes on him. Dumbledore motioned for Quirrell to sit in the chair next to him. He looked around the room at the people present - Arabella Figg, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, Minerva, Severus and a few others whom he didn't recognise.
"Right, as you all can gather, there are a few things we need to discuss. Firstly, Fudge is still refusing to believe us about Voldemort's return, so we need to take matters into our own hands as we thought. Arthur Weasley has rallied up huge support in the Ministry and Fudge suspects nothing. Hagrid has sent word that the giant communtiy will be on our side every step of the way. And Alastor has informed me that Aurors are on constant guard at Azkaban, keeping an eye on the Dementors."
He paused to look at Severus before continuing.
"We also have been informed that Voldemort plans to strike soon, first the big wizarding families and then the villages such as Hogsmeade. Also, he plans on infiltrating Hogwarts to destroy me and everyone else whom he deems a threat."
Although somewhat expected, the news still startled many in the room, especially Quirrell.
"Um Albus, sorry to interrupt, but why am I here?"
"I was just geting to that Owain. You see, Voldemort has found out that you're alive and holds you as his biggest threat."
"B-but why?"
"My dear boy, I thought that would have been obvious! You, for quite a long period of time, shared a mind with Voldemort. You heard his thoughts, fears and even his plans. In a sense, you could be the key in his downfall."
"B-but I have p-put th-that behind me."
"I know Owain, but we need you to remember - it would give us an advantage that we thoroughly need."
He glanced around the room and realised Dumbledore was right - all of these people needed his help.
"Alright. Wh-what have I g-got to do?"
"Firstly, you need to calm down. You can't help anyone in this state. Secondly, I would ask you to stay here at Hogwarts. It will be much easier to work together and I would personally feel better knowing you were safe."
Quirrell nodded and looked up at the headmaster. He had never been so scared in his life, yet he knew deep down that this was what he had to do.
"You may go now if you wish Owain to make arrangements - I will fill you in on what you miss later."
Acknowledging the others, he got up and walked out of the office. With tears in his eyes he walked outside to sit next to the lake - him and Severus always went there when they needed cheering up.
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Walking back from the owlery, Quirrell felt a pang of guilt. He had told his mother he would be home and here he was, sending her a list of things that he wanted her to send him. He hadn't even said goodbye properly to his father. He knew he was being overdramatic, but to him, his parents were the only thing he had that truly meant something to him. Well, them and Severus. He still loved him, even after all these years, and would do anything for him. The painful part was not knowing if Severus felt the same way. He probably hated him, if not for their past then certainly for not getting in contact with him in the last three years. He needed to know where he stood - he could handle them being just friends, but couldn't bare the thought of them being enemies. Fuelled by adrenaline, he marched down to the dungeons, determined to confront Severus. Reaching the door, he could hear Severus' voice reverberating off every single surface in the Potions' classroom.
"LONGBOTTOM! I told you not to touch that - 50 points from Gryffindor! Now clean this mess up!"
Shivering slightly at the severity of his tone, Quirrell braced himself and walked into the room. Everyone turned to stare at him, even Severus, who looked quite annoyed.
"Prof.....Mr Quirrell do you mind? I am trying to teach a class here. They are stupid enough without having their lesson cut short."
"Sorry Professor Snape, but I need to talk to you about a rather important matter. Besides, if I'm not mistaken, this lesson ended 30 seconds ago."
Snape scowled and turned back to the class.
"Get out! All of you!"
No one argued as they all walked out silently, smiling at Quirrell as they did so. When the last person had finally left Quirrell shut the door and walked over to Severus, who was sitting at his desk with his head in his hands.
"I believe I owe you an explanation Severus."
"Well you believe wrong - we have nothing to discuss."
"I think we do. And I am not leaving until I have said what I came to say."
Severus sighed and looked up.
"Well then I suggest you should start now so we can get this over with quickly."
Quirrell placed himself on the edge of Severus' desk and began.
"About all of this - I'm sorry. I assumed Albus would have told you. And I'm sure you are wondering why I never contacted you. I was scared. I was in a terrible way, and the thought of you rejecting me again made me give up hope. So I never did. I convinced myself that the less I knew, the better. I also want to thank you."
"For what?"
"For trying to save me last time I was here. Believe me I tried - I really tried, but I couldn't beat him."
"Why didn't you tell me? I could've helped you!"
"No - you couldn't. Can you imagine what Voldemort would have done to you? I could, and that is why I kept you at a distance - I didn't want you to get hurt because of me."
"And you don't think your rejection hurt me?"
Quirrell cringed at the hurt in Severus' voice; he was a stubborn man, but he never had been able to hide his feelings from him.
"Sevvi - I'm sorry. Please believe me when I say I would do anything to make it up to you."
"Anything?"
"Yes."
"Ok then, here is what I want you to do. I want you to leave my room and never bother me again."
Shocked at this, and deeply saddened, Quirrell walked towards the door. As he opened it, he turned to look at Severus.
"Sevvi - I will always be here for you. Always, cariad."
With that he left, knowing that Severus no longer loved him, and that his heart was shattered into a thousand pieces.
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