"Harry..." someone whispered.
"Mmmmm?" murmured Harry Potter, 99 per cent asleep in a bed... somewhere...
"Harry..." they whispered again.
"NNNRRRGGGHHH?" grunted Harry. His arm hurt, and so did his head. Now that he came to think of it, so did his entire body. In fact, where was he? This bed wasn't the bouncy, squidgy one of his common room.
"Harry," the person-possibly a girl-said, more frustrated. He sprang out of the bed when the person began to shake him gentle.
"Holy shit!" he screeched as all the flesh on his body rebelled against providing Harry with the upmost comfort. His feet had touched cold tile, and he put two and two together (pain and the tile floor in a strange place) and realized that he was in the hospital wing. "Who are you?" he inquired as he squinted at a dark figure.
"Harry... we can finally be alone... it's not my location of preference, but it will have to do. We'll never have another opportunity like this..." she-definitely a she-said huskily.
"Huh?" Harry said stupidly. What the hell was she on about?
"Kiss me, fool!" the girl cried as she sprang herself towards Harry's sexy body.
"Eep!" Harry squeaked, and leaped backwards.
The girl pursued him, intent on getting what she wanted. Harry ducked and dodged her for about two point seven three seconds when she grabbed him by the waist and lunged for his mouth, but she miscalculated and her lips landed on his chin.
Taking this opportunity to escape, Harry rugby-rolled to his left and attempted to run like the wind. But in reality, he limped for about yard when his footed stepped on his robe and he toppled to the ground. His body burned in protest.
"Excellent!" Harry's "admirer" cried in delight, and she dived down to the cold floor beside the love of her life.
"Ow..." Harry murmured tentatively.
The girl gasped. "Are you sore Harry? Oh, let me kiss it all better for you!" she offered, and she moved in for the kill, beginning with the neck.
"NOOO-OWWWW!" Harry objected in pain.
"Pain is GOOOOOD, Harry, GOOOOOOD!" the girl denied.
Mustering all of his wizardly strength, Harry pushed the girl off and yelled, "GET THE FUCK OFF, YOU CRAZY STALKER!"
Already in tears, the girl sobbed, "But don't you love me, Harry?"
"No, I do not, whoever you are!" Harry shouted, fuming. His heart gave a little twinge when the girl ran away, her arm held up to her face to hide her tears.
"Wonder who the fuck that was..." Harry muttered as he snuggled back into his bed.