Things You DO NOT Want to Hear From A Zelda Character

Rated PG by James Bond oo7

Monkey: Okay, where's the Lost Woods Map?

Zelda: (After you put the ocarina to your lips) I have a lip disease, you know.

Postman: (After you put on postman's hat) Oh! Did I tell you I have dandruff and LICE???

Kotake: Here- take this potion. Wait- my mistake- you just drank a bottle of motor oil mixed with rubbing alcohol and bird crap.

Madam Aroma: What- you got punched? Oh, I'm sorry- I gave you Al Gore's mask instead of Kafei's Mask.

Hand from Inn toilet: Oh, that heart piece you just put in your heart came out of the TOILET…

Koume: Ha! That potion you just gave me was a drink that, when consumed, makes it impossible for you to defeat the Majora's Mask…

Friendly Advice Insert: John Doe: Ooooookay, Mr. Author, that last one was pretty cheap…

Author: Stop screwing up my fanfic!

Author: Omit this insert.

John Doe: Leave it in.

Tatl: Now, run up there and pop that balloo- oops! That's a skulltula! ("YOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!")

Tatl: Link- yes. The Skulltula's weak point is its' head. Yep, I'm sure. Oh, by the way, did I tell you I don't know the difference between a Moon's Tear and a bombachu?