Tom had never watched a horror film before. Alex said that was terrible and it needed to be rectified immediately, but Hal said it was understandable, seeing as Tom lived in the woods his whole life. He was worried that Hal might get uncomfortable, what with him being a vampire and all, but Hal was confident that he'd be fine; after all, he can't smell the blood.
So with the air cleared they sat down to watch Tom's first ever horror film the next Friday, selected by Alex, their resident expert on all things human. The content of the film was a surprise, because it would be scarier that way, but Tom wasn't going to get scared anyway; he was the scary stuff usually.
The three of them sat down on the couch, Hal in the middle, and the film clicked on. The beginning was simple and quaint as it built towards the horror, the music would climb and then descend calmly, and causing hearts to leap into throats in anticipation only to find there was nothing there yet.
In fact, the film was fairly tame, until the horrific beast humped onto the screen, tearing into throats and ripping victims apart. Suddenly, Tom was no longer watching the film; he was living it, remembering it. His breathing grew erratic as his thoughts raced and memories of his crimes, accidental or not, flashed before his eyes. His chest constricted and tears formed in his eyes; he was gasping for breath, clutching at his chest, blindly.
He could vaguely hear worried shouts, and two concerned faces swam in his vision in between flashes of gore, only his memories seemed to be darkening his breathing was coming short and fast now, he was panting just like the wolf. He collapsed forward into a warm embrace, and arms wrapped around him, but that only had him thrashing violently. His energy and screams died quickly as his shortness of breath sent him over the edge and into unconsciousness, but not a dreamless state.
Hal and Alex exchanged a worried glance before Hal bent to pick up Tom, carrying him up to his bedroom and laying him down. Alex rent-a-ghosted in a few seconds later with a glass of water for when Tom would wake up.
Tom didn't sleep peacefully for long; he whimpered and whined, like a wolf, which shifted into growls and snarls. Hal reached forward and shook him, Tom shot up with a gasp, chest heaving.
"Tom? Tom! Tom, you're okay, it's Alex and Hal. Yer safe." Alex said, pulling Tom's face to hers so that he could see her. Tom seemed to come back into himself shortly, only to start shaking like a leaf as he curled into himself, mumbling "monster" over and over again, as he quickly began to descend into another panic attack.
"Tom, Tom look at me. I need you to look at me; can you do that for me?" Hal asked, gently taking Tom's shaking hands and holding them; he sat down across from him, waiting for Tom to look up. Tom did, he forced his terrified gaze to meet Hal's concerned one and look at him.
"Okay, good, that's good. Now I'm going to count to ten. You're going to breathe in after I say a number, then you need to repeat it, and then you need to exhale. Alright? Can you do that for me?" Hal asked; his voice was soft and quiet, so as not to aggravate Tom. Tom nodded weakly and Hal began to count.
"One." Tom's inhale staggered.
"Oone." Tom's voice cracked and he exhaled, shuddering.
"Two." A steadier inhale.
"Two." His voice cracked again, but he exhaled steadier this time.
"Three." A stagnated in heal as he sniffled.
"Th-three." Tom stuttered and cracked, a step back from improvement, but he exhaled none the less.
"Four." Another staggering inhale.
"Four." A shuddering exhale through red cheeks.
"Five." Finally a steadier inhale, but still not normal.
"Five." A short, quick Exhale, not good.
"Six." A simple, steady inhale, now he just needs to speak and breathe out.
"Six." A calm, exhale, his chest wasn't heaving anymore.
"Seven." He inhaled, his eyes seemed to focus more; he was regaining his bearings.
"Seven." Another good exhale, he wasn't hyperventilating anymore.
"Eight." Hal could barely hear this inhale, only see it, Tom was calming down.
"Eight." A deeper exhale.
"Nine."
"Nine." Tom said, finally able to breathe properly.
"Ten."
"Ten." A deep exhale, Tom was back.
Hal smiled at him, and let go of his hands in favor of grabbing his face and boring into his eyes. "Now, can you tell Alex and me exactly what just happened? Including the horror film."
"I-." Tom began but shut his mouth, shaking his head.
"Tom, it's alright. We're you're friends, we only want to help yeh, yeah?" Alex said softly, sitting down next to Tom and rubbing his back comfortingly, for whatever her ghostly touch was worth. Tom breathed deeply and nodded, steeling his resolve.
"The film reminded me of somethin'. Somethin' that I'd done, once. Most werewolves don't remember if they attack someone, but I always remember; every full moon since I was a lad, I can remember 'em all. And when that…beast…came out onto the screen I was back on one of my first changes without McNair, I remember their screams, their horrified screams as I ripped them apart, none of them survived. I'm a monster." His voice cracked again and silent tears began to trail down his face as he tried desperately not to sob.
"Oh, Tom." Alex whispered, wrapping her cold arms around him in a tight embrace, and it was as if a dam broke because Tom began to sob and wail as he clutched tightly to the back of Hal's shirt as Hal came to embrace Tom. Hal and Alex sandwiched him in between them, giving him all their support and love, knowing that he needed this. Tom was always their rock, the one to keep them in check, now it was their turn to give back.
For the first time after meeting werewolves, Hal understood why werewolves weren't so different from vampires after all. Hal understood the thoughts that must have been running through Tom's head when he woke up the morning after that dreadful transformation, but something didn't sit right with him.
"Tom, you can remember that transformation?" Hal asked pulling away slightly to look at Tom's face.
Tom nodded, "I can remember 'em all. The pain of the change, an' then everythin' floods mah senses. I can remember feelin' mah wolf instincts but there's never been a sep'rate wolf. It's always been me, me an' mah wolf instincts. An' they never leave." His voice cracked as he talked, but he knew he needed to say this.
"Other werewolves are lucky; they don't remember their change, don't remember the full moon, but I know what it looks like, I know what it feels like tuh run 'round under the moon, 'cause I remember!" He sounded so broken, and Hal feels for him. Tom understands how instincts can cause you to do terrible things, but not even Hal can begin to imagine having to be a vampire while he grew up, it would have been torture. He knows that nothing can fix Tom, just like nothing can fix Hal or Alex. The three of them are broken, but they're broken together.
"I remember." Tom whispered; his sobs began to abate and the silence was punctured by the occasional hiccup and sniffle from Tom as he calmed down.
"We're so sorry, Tom. We've always been dealin' wit Hal and his urges or my ghostly problems wit the door that we never thought that you weren't alright." Alex said, running her hand over the scars on his head.
"Tom, please know that I value your friendship very much, and that I want to be there for you just as you are for me. After all, you're my best mate." Hal said, repeating the words that Tom had said to him once upon a time in a café on the corner.
Tom smiled. It was weak and it was cracked, but it was his, it was theirs.