(A/N: Don't know why, I was randomly on a Maroon 5 kick and listening to "One More Night" made me think of a Renegade/Renagon Shanko relationship. Kaidan is too sweet to escape from this unhealthy/manipulative, near pure sex relationship with Shepard after his return to the Normandy in ME3. Every night he thinks just "One More Night," but one more night keeps happening again and again.)

I'll Only Stay With You One More Night

"You and I go hard at each other like we're going to war
You and I go rough, we keep throwing things and slamming the door

You and I get so damn dysfunctional, we start keeping score"

"Shepard! We have to talk." Kaidan stated outright as he grabbed the Commander by the arm and forcibly guided her towards the elevator after the squad was out of their armour. The decisions she made on Lesuss were unbelievable. What Shepard chose was not the only option, there were far better ways that whole situation could've gone down. There was no need for the meaningless deaths that took place on that planet. None at all.

"What, Kaidan?" Shepard asked clearly annoyed. She no doubt anticipated Kaidan chewing her out once they got back to the Normandy. Kaidan didn't speak, not yet. If he opened his mouth right now all he might do is scream at her and that would not be a wise thing to do in front of the rest of the crew. Shepard removed herself from his grasp as the elevator doors opened and he pushed her inside. Shepard hit the button for deck 1 before she turned around and glared daggers at Kaidan.

"What the fuck was that, Shepard!?" Kaidan practically screamed at her as soon as the doors closed. He hardly ever cussed, but holy shit was he pissed. This was not the woman he remembered from the SR-1, at least not all the time.

"The fuck was what!?" Shepard screamed back at him.

"You just let a friend commit suicide and then kill her only remaining family!?"

"It was her damn choice! Nothing I could've done! All I did was fulfil her code!"

"Bullshit, Shepard! Bullshit! You didn't even try! You just stood back and watched! You could've said something. Made her see that shooting herself wasn't the answer!"

"What? Like me trying to convince you on Horizon?" That was a low blow. He apologized time and time again for Horizon, but she always held it over him. "That went well, didn't it? Or during the coup on the Citadel?"

"I was doing my job, Shepard! You have a history or running with groups that have questionable motives after being brought back to life. You can't blame me for being unsure!" Kaidan grabbed her arm as the elevator door opened and lead her into the room.

"That's the whole damn point, Kaidan! You don't trust anything I do anymore!" Shepard ripped herself from Kaidan's grasp and walked towards her desk. Kaidan's biotics flared as he thought back to the woman he fell in love with. She was kind, always doing what she had to and what she thought was right. Even if she couldn't save everyone, she still tried.

Looking back, half the missions on the SR-1, he was never there to witness what she did. Did she really do everything she could? Did she even do what she told him? Or is that just what she said to get him in her pocket? Was the woman he loved still in there somewhere or was this her true colours all along? Kaidan watched as Shepard turned around and stared into his eyes. Her eyes were squinted slightly as she did what she could to hide her anger.

"You've changed, Shepard." Kaidan started almost emotionless. He was in a constant struggle of not wanting to love this woman yet wanting to be with her because of who she was two years ago.

"Don't start, Kaidan." Shepard warned as she walked back to her desk and opened a drawer.

"What did Cerberus do to you? The Shepard I knew would never have let a friend sacrifice themselves when she had the opportunity to stop them." Kaidan brought up a biotic barrier as he saw Shepard turn around and chuck a few datapads at him.

"I said don't start!" Shepard screamed as she started to tear up. "I've lost a lot of friends in the last few months Kaidan! If you want to sit here and tell me how I failed them then just get the fuck out of here! I have more then enough to deal with right now."

"Shep-"

"Get out." Shepard held back her feelings as she pointed at the door. "I have a lot of reports to do and we're done here. You've said your piece." Shepard picked up a glass and a bottle of vodka as she glared at Kaidan. Kaidan held up his hands and left as Shepard downed a glass of vodka.

"You and I get sick, yeah I know that we can't do this no more"

Kaidan sat at the bar in the observation lounge with a glass and a bottle of whiskey. He wasn't sure how exactly to feel after Shepard kicked him out of her room. He couldn't deny that he was still pissed, but he also felt bad. It's true that Shepard had been losing people left and right since they left Earth and it is possible that she froze in the last mission. Kaidan polished off his glass and poured another.

"I heard that the last mission was pretty rough." James Vega commented as he came and sat next to Kaidan. "Would have thought Scars and Sparks would have been in here after getting the news."

"They might have been in here earlier." Kaidan said quietly as he took another sip and stood up. The mix of all the alcohol and the sudden shift in blood flow gave Kaidan a small headache.

"You okay there, Major?" James asked genuinely concerned. "I saw you leave with Lola. You looked pretty pissed."

"I'm fine, Vega." Kaidan replied half-heartedly as he moved behind the bar and picked up another glass. "Would you like something to drink?"

"Sure. I'll take what you're having." Kaidan nodded as he poured the lieutenant a drink and grabbed his once again.

"Damn Major. That's some good shit." Kaidan smirked as he took another sip and allowed himself to really and fully enjoy it. "So don't get mad at me or nothing, but why are you even still with the Commander?" Kaidan sighed at the question. "Didn't you say you were going to break it off with her a while back? "

"Look I know that we can't do this anymore, or... well- I can't do this anymore."

"So go up there and finally tell her you're done. That you'll be there for her as a fellow soldier, maybe a friend, but that's it. If you can't do it, man. Then you can't." Kaidan remained silent in thought as he continued to take sips out of his glass.

"But baby there you go again, there you go again, making me love you
Yeah I stopped using my head, using my head, let it all go
Got you stuck on my body, on my body like a tattoo
And now I'm feeling stupid, feeling stupid crawling back to you"

This is it. Kaidan concluded in his mind for what felt like the millionth time. Every time he thought about breaking it off with Shepard, she had found a way to make him love her again. He couldn't stay this time. He had to get in, apologize, say what he needed to say and leave. Kaidan took a deep breath as the elevator door opened.

He stopped when he got in front of her door and it didn't open. "Shepard?" Kaidan called through the door hoping that she would let him in. There was silence for a moment but the doors eventually opened and Kaidan walked in. He didn't anticipate the sight before him at the bottom of the stairs. Shepard stood with a datapad in her hand in nothing but her black bikini underwear and a small shirt that barely covered her breasts.

"Kaidan?" Shepard called out to him after a small half smile. "What's up?"

"I-uh- I came to apologize for what I said earlier..." His eyes scanned her body. "I know all of these deaths must take a toll on you too. It's just..."

"I deal with it differently?" Shepard finished for him as she threw the datapad onto the couch and walked up the stairs towards him. "Look Kaidan. I'm not as strong as everyone expects me to be. I freeze and I make mistakes. Same as anyone else."

"You're only human too. Huh, Shepard?"

"Yeah... I won't lie to you. I dream almost every night about the people I've lost. Hear their voices in my dreams and it scares me..." Shepard suppressed a few tears as she thought about it. Kaidan watched slowly as the Shepard he loved started to peak through this new persona. "I know I failed them. And they won't be the last... So Kaidan. You didn't just come up here to say sorry did you?"

"No. I actually have more to say. Just- trying to find the right words." Kaidan watched as Shepard folded her arms under her breasts, perfectly supporting them. Despite the little voice in the back of his mind all he wanted to do was push her back on the desk, tear off her shirt, and play with her.

"Sounds serious. Shoot."

"Look Shepard. I-" He sighed as he dropped his gaze away from her body and closed his eyes. He felt like an idiot. He knew he couldn't continue on with her like this, but he couldn't summon up the strength to leave her. He was always crawling back to her. Kaidan opened his eyes again as he felt her hand on his left cheek.

"Talk to me, Kaidan. That little black rain cloud is hanging over your head again."

"Shepard. I-I don't know how much longer I can keep going like this." He admitted as he removed her hand from his cheek and moved next to the fish tank. He couldn't keep looking at her, having her close to him. This isn't the woman he fell in love with, he had to keep telling himself that. The more she talked and seemed to open up to him the more he stopped using his head and she made him fall in love with her all over again.

"Look Kaidan..." Shepard called out to him gently as she walked to stand next to him. She sighed and closed her eyes for a moment before she looked up at him. "I don't know how much more I can take either." Her confession was not on their relationship, he knew that. She was talking about this war and everything in general. Her eyes glanced over to the eels in the fish tank."We get a step closer, we lose someone or something, and then get shoved two steps back. I know everyone expects me to perform a miracle. A new system comes under attack and people ask me, us, to save them because they have heard that the Normandy took down a Reaper... I just can't all the time. And it sucks, you know?"

"I know. Shepard, I have to-"

"You have always been my light, Kaidan." And there she really was, his Shepard. Letting down her guard for him and opening her mind to everything she was feeling. He watched as tears started to fall down her cheeks, though her expression was still stern. This how it always happened. She would open herself up to him just enough to reel him back in, they'd spend the night together, then blow up at each other due to her renegade demeanor likely the next day. Damn it. Kaidan's mind said as his body brought Shepard into a warming embrace.

"So I cross my heart and I hope to die
That I'll only stay with you one more night
And I know I said it a million times
But I'll only stay with you one more night

Try to tell you no but my body keeps on telling you yes
Try to tell you stop but your lipstick got me so out of breath
I'll be waking up in the morning probably hating myself
And I'll be waking up feeling satisfied but guilty as hell"

"Stay here tonight, Kaidan." Shepard's voice almost commanded before she politely added, "Please?" Kaidan looked down at her as her eyes looked up into his. He knew what she really wanted. It's what she always wanted when she asked him to stay. His gaze lazily left her's as he silently contemplated. He couldn't deny that a part of him wanted it too, he was a guy after all, but this had to stop. He came up here specifically to put a stop to it, but maybe one more night to try and find his Shepard in this new body would put his mind at ease. If he found her, then he wouldn't leave.

You're an idiot, Kaidan. Kaidan's mind told him. She's gone. Don't keep hanging on to the person she used to be. All you're going to do is wake up feeling guilty and broken hearted- Kaidan's mind was cut short from it's little speech as Shepard's lips pressed against his. The taste of her flavoured and scented lip balm was intoxicating. Shepard's arms wrapped around his neck as he began to reciprocate her kiss. He felt the intensity increase between them as their kisses became rougher and more passionate.

Kaidan took a sharp inhale as he felt her hand move along the front of his pants, gently rubbing against his growing hardness. She grabbed his hands and put them under her shirt the play with her breasts before she worked on getting his clothes off. "Shepard. No, stop-" Kaidan breathed heavily as she unbuttoned his pants and stuck her hand down his boxer-briefs.

"It doesn't seem like you want me to stop." Shepard replied productively after she heard him let out a moan as her hands continued to work. Kaidan's mind relented the more she worked to pleasure him, the more her lips locked with his. Kaidan pushed her back into the fish tank and kissed her roughly. He eventually picked her up and her legs instantly wrapped around him.

"Just one more night." Kaidan breathed into their kiss as he walked with her around his waist to the bed.