Brittany loved picnics. She loved the grass tickling her feet, the way that Santana cut her sandwiches into triangles especially, playing Frisbee and fiddling with her money in anticipation of the massive ice cream she will buy when the chips and mini sausages have been eaten.
Santana? Not so much.
She put up with them, you have to give her that. But things like this really were not her style. Food often had grass in it, drinks get spilt and the blanket is always prickly against the back of her bare legs.
She goes along though. Goes along just to see Brittany's eyes light up and to hear her squeal "Really San? I promise I won't hit you with the Frisbee this time. I promise. And I won't chase the ducks, we can just feed them, yeah? Oh Santana, please let me feed them?"
To this Santana usually giggles or gently tells Brittany that she has saved bread especially for the ducks and they can feed them for as long as she would like to.
The only other thing wrong with the park is that there are too many people. Too many people for Santana to lace her fingers with Brittany's in front of, to kiss away the ice cream that smears itself over Brittany's chin and to draw patterns and words into any exposed skin.
Santana knew how Brittany`s face would light up if Santana ever did choose to show affection to her like that in public. She knew it. She was just too terrified to ever make that jump. It would be too much; the heads turning, mothers hurrying their children away, nervous snorts of laughter from teenage boys and the inevitable leering old men.
So she kept her distance safe, linking pinkies but never letting the contact between them escalate to where she wanted it to. Never showing the world that this morning, she woke up with Brittany`s body pressed close to hers, warmth radiating from her bare back into her own exposed stomach. Never showing how she always woke up first, watched Brittany in her beautiful slumber before pretending to be asleep again, just so she could feel Brittany press loving kisses along her jawline whilst she thought she couldn't feel.
So there they sat, Brittany chomping happily on her apple with a sloppy grin plastered over her face whilst Santana scanned the park, watching other people`s business and looking for things she could pass comment on.
As her eyes flickered over the play park, she felt, more than saw, a little commotion going on. A group of slightly bigger girls (nine or ten maybe) had a small blonde girl cornered between the slide and swings.
The little girl had her back to Santana but even so, it was clear she was shaking.
This left the faces of the bigger girls fully in Santana`s view, laughing and sneering at the little blonde, advancing on her even further.
Santana felt a fire light in her stomach and her throat tighten.
They looked like a pack of lions, circling their pray.
Santana could hear them now she had realised they were there, demanding the smaller girl give them her lunch.
"B-but my mum said I had to eat. She said I had to or else Santa won't bring me anything this year. S-she said I had to. Santa has to come… I don't want coal. I really wanted some new books…. I-I`m learning to read, see? And after a while the dictionary, it gets boring so I have to eat-"
Her desperate little sobs were cut off by the seeming leader of the group of girls, an overpoweringly large redhead with the beginnings of acne, shoving the tiny blonde so she tumbled to the floor with a terrified squeak.
Hiccups came loud and fresh from the pile on the ground as the little mess of limbs fought off tears with focused courage.
As the group of girls moved to circle her, Santana jumped to her feet, red fog clouding her vision. She had no idea why. She didn't know this girl, never seen her before in her life. Shit happens like this every day, it's the way of the world. Kids get beat up for their lunch money. It's part of the food chain.
But the sight of these bullies moving round the defenceless little girl that was so innocently adamant for Santa to bring her some books, that she was willing to take a pasting for it, reminded Santana of someone else she knew.
Brittany sat dumbfounded as her girl flew over to the playground, ripping the gate open and thundering over to girls, who to Brittany were just a few kids messing around.
As Santana drew closer to them and took in a breath to shout her first line of defence, she was knocked left by a mess of brown hair charging straight for the huddle of girls.
Taken by surprise, the girls all gave off equally annoying high pitched squeals that cut through Santana and reminded her of all the kids she hated as a child.
Girls that acted like girls were something that Santana couldn't stand. Man up and either defend yourself or get out of my way.
Apparently the fiery little brunette held the same views as she grunted a "Shut up" before her fist flew wildly and made easy contact with jaws, stomachs and noses.
Santana stopped dead in her tracks, watching this buzz of anger and aggression throw herself around, challenging playground bullies that were much older than her and twice her size with a fearless sense of passion that Santana wasn't sure she had ever seen before.
"Now if I ever see any of you step foot near her again, I swear to God, I got a house… I got a house and it is real far away and I`ll take you there and I`ll feed you to my dogs! Now beat it!"
Santana hid a snort of laughter in her sleeve as she watched the red headed ring leader shrink good few inches in embarrassment before turning on her heel and trying to maintain any sort of street cred whilst flouncing from the playground.
The little brunette watched them leave, fire still burning in eyes that followed every single girl ought the gate and over to their mothers, too busy comparing manicures to realize that their daughters had just been hassling the one person who meant anything to her. Why she out to go over there and give their mums a piece of her mind too… But for now there were more important things.
Eyes turned from a narrowed hawk-like glare instantly into wide pools of worry as she whipped round and fell to her knees beside the blonde who remained on the floor, nursing a scraped knee.
Santana`s heart burned as she saw the brunette lick her hand swiftly and place it gently on her friends knee, keeping it there to stem the bleeding. After a few seconds she flinched, removed her hand, wiped it thoughtlessly on her own bare leg and put it back again, totally ignoring the messy smear of blood she had left wiped up her leg.
The two friends exchanged whispers that Santana couldn't hear, that Santana wasn't supposed to hear, that the rest of the world wasn't supposed to hear. Santana knew that whisper. She knew it very well. It was the whisper that meant "It`s okay, I`m sorry I let them hurt you, I won't let it happen again, I promise"
It wasn't for anyone else's ears; the little brunette didn't want anyone else to hear because she only ever meant it when the blonde was involved. They were her words, they belonged to her.
Santana wasn't sure how long she had been standing there, probably only a minute or so, but she jumped when she felt a whisper behind her.
"Hey" came a soft voice, inches from her ear.
Without turning around to meet her eyes, Santana felt behind her for the familiar pinkie to link with her own.
"I remember when you would have done that for me" Brittany whispered with a light giggle.
Santana's head whipped round. "I still would, Britt"
Brittany's eyebrows rose questioningly.
"I would!" She insisted "Brittany, you know I would" Brown eyes pleaded with blue ones, begging her to believe.
"San, it's okay. You don't have to say that. It isn't as easy as it was when we were young, things change and I get that. I just like to remember it sometimes"
"Brittany, I promise you, I would still do anything for you" Her voice lowered as she remembered where she was. Brittany, noticing this, gave her a sad see-what-I-mean smile.
"No, Britt, you've got this all wrong." She was panicking. "You are the most important thing I've got, you know what don't you?"
When Brittany didn't answer, Santana's head turned quickly back to the two little girls in despair. Looking at them broke it, broke the little bit inside of her that was so so terrified of showing what she felt.
These two little girls were sitting in their own little world. A world that was so private and precious that no one would dare go near them for fear of breaking it. Santana knew what that world was like, she had one herself. She was in it right now.
Everything around her fuzzed, people disappeared and noises muted. With the courage she had found from that one glance, she extended herself up on tiptoes, bent her head to stare into surprised eyes and pressed her lips gently to Brittany's.
Santana's eyes clamped shut in fear but she could feel that Brittany's were still open, staring at her in complete shock.
Panic started to swell in Santana immediately but was pushed out as soon as she felt Brittany push her head forward, replying to the kiss but not wanting it to get too out of hand in the middle of a children's play park.
Smiling, Santana pulled away.
Brittany`s face was unlike anything she had ever seen before. Filled with a new sort of happiness that had never been there before, a happiness that Santana supposed was what being accepted looked like.
Tearing her eyes from her now bashful looking girlfriend, Santana scanned around her, scared that people would be running full pelt to hide behind the ice cream van or ripping their children's eyes out, giving them a good wash and insisting that none of this ever happened.
Instead, surprisingly to Santana, the world kept spinning as per usual. Mums continued to gossip, dads chatted animatedly about sports and kids chased each other and their pets all over the park. A boy tripped over and began to cry, a baby vomited all over its mums jeans and a little girl tore out her pigtails before chasing after her older brother, swearing vengeance.
No one had batted an eyelid.
"See" Brittany said, a little smugly. "I always told you no one would care"
Santana mumbled a "Shut up" and giggled nervously. Did no one really care? Did she just actually kiss her best friend in front of all of these people without any of them damning her to hell?
Santana's eyes found Brittany's again and she couldn't help but place another quick kiss on her lips, feeling her stomach soar, before pulling away quickly and resuming her little giggle.
Suddenly, Santana wasn't the only one who was giggling. From behind her she could hear two little throats rumbling in laughter.
In spite of knowing exactly who it was, both Brittany and Santana turned to look at the two little girls, huddled under the slide now, watching the kiss with looks of laughter spread widely across their faces.
Rolling her eyes playfully, she turned back to her own girl.
"I don't make promises easily, Britt. You are the most important thing that I have. You believe me now?"
"Yessssss, Santana! Yes yes yes. I already did believe you but… Well I had to get you to kiss me sooner or later"
And with that she was off laughing loudly with that free skip that only Brittany could pull off, leaving Santana open mouthed in her wake.
Chasing after her, Santana really could not have been happier. She had done it. She had finally gotten over it. Everything was going to be better from now on. Maybe not straight away but she was on her way.
Without thinking about how tomorrow or the next day would go, Santana swooped up the bread she had saved and relished in Brittany`s face as she realised it was finally time to feed the ducks!