I always wondered how our relationship would be if that incident never happened.
If I had never pushed you down and ravaged you like a piece of meat in front of a hound.
Would you still love me?
But then again maybe if not for that event, you would have never let me know of your true feelings.
How much you felt hurt or how much you really loved me.
I couldn't help it. I was angry at the time.
Angry at the man who hurt you.
Angry at the man who interfered.
And most of all, angry at myself.
I was spoilt, childish, and selfish.
My happy facade was all to keep you from hating me and leaving.
I said that I valued you the most, even more than your respect for your boss.
But I was afraid that you would leave.
Leave me alone in this dark and sorrow place.
My only source of happiness.
I didn't have the power to protect you and I didn't understand why you cried at that time. I didn't take you into my arms that one time you needed the most.
It's been years now that you left and I cry now that I think about it.
Cry about how I was naive, stupid, brainless, and weak.
Trying to drown out all the memories by drinking isn't working.
I cannot do anything about it anymore.
I cannot see your face anymore.
You've escaped from my reach.
And now,
it is too late to go back.
I loved you.
Gokudera.
-Yamamoto Takeshi
Disclaimer: The work belongs to Amano Akira and I have no influence to the story whatsoever.