Very angst-y. You have been warned.
Based on "The Reason" by Hoobastank
Rain poured down from the iron sky, raindrops hitting the ground in dull repetition like a steady drum beat. The day was grey, puddles of rainwater welling on the sides of the beaten roads and cracks in the old chipped sidewalks of Brooklyn.
Carter Kane was running. His feet hit the ground in rhythm, sneaker soles sending droplets scattering as they collided with the asphalt. He was soaked to the bone, t-shirt plastered to his skin and curls drooping as they were saturated with liquid.
"Zia!"
There was a squelch of rubber against the slick pane of the road as he skidded to a stop a few yards away from the girl up ahead. Her silhouette was blurred by the mist and falling rain, black hair glistening with water.
"Zia!"
Finally she stopped, and he gasped for breath, leaning over with his hands on knees to regain oxygen.
"What is it, Carter?" Her voice sounded strained, like she had been trying to evade their interaction in the first place.
A drop of water traced its way down his forehead, sliding off the tip of his nose. "Where are you going?"
Zia bit her lip, forcing herself not to turn around. "I don't belong here, Carter." It felt like someone else saying the words. She was conscious of every stream of water, every scratch in the cement, every sight, smell and sound.
"What do you mean, don't belong here?" His voice sounded bewildered. "Of course you do, Zia! You belong with us!"
Zia pushed away a dripping lock of hair, bowing her head. A second later there was something warm on her arm, and she instinctively jerked back, spinning around to face him.
Pain flashed through his eyes, face etched in confusion. "What's happening, Zia?"
Her chest rose steadily as she took a deep breath. "I can't do this, Carter. I'm not-" She squeezed her eyes shut. "I'm not ready for this."
Carter was fighting the urge to scream. "If it's about the ring, I'm sorry! It doesn't matter. We can always wait-"
"No, Carter. Please don't." She lifted her head to look at him, an overwhelming pang of fear clashing through as she studied his distraught features. "It's not you. It's-"
"If you say 'me'..." Carter shook his head. "Don't. Please. I'm sorry. You're right. We're too young. But that doesn't mean you have to leave!" Hysteria was starting to creep into his voice.
Zia put a hand over her mouth, biting into her knuckle. The dull pain cleared her mind somewhat, but she barely felt it. "I'm not perfect, Carter, no matter what you might think. I can't do this to myself. I can't do this to you."
Carter clenched his fist, stubborn as ever. "The only thing you've done is given me the best days of my life!"
"I hurt you, Carter," Zia said softly. "More than once."
"That was a shabti," he insisted.
She shook her head slowly, raising her head to stare at the swirling clouds of the approaching storm. "That's not what I meant. You should be...you should be with someone who cares for you as much as you them." She brought her eyes back to his fearfully, afraid of what she would see.
His expression was unreadable. Finally he let out a humorless laugh. "So you never loved me."
Zia blinked in shock, reaching out to grab his wrist forcefully. "Anything but, Carter Kane. I never cared more for anyone in my life." The truth of the words dawned on her as she spoke them aloud, and for the first time she questioned what she was doing.
It's better this way.
"Then why?" He whispered, staring at where her fingers wrapped around his arm like he was dreading the second they would go.
"Because I do care. And I can't see you like this. I know..." She drew a shaky breath. "I can't be what you want me to, Carter. I know you believe that we'll end up with some happily ever after, but we both know that's not going to happen. You're pharaoh. And you need to move on."
"Are you trying to say you're not good enough for me? Zia, how could you even-"
"I'm not discussing this," she said firmly, folding her arms, old fire relighting her eyes.
He gritted his teeth. "If you care at all, you'll stay."
Her lips parted slightly, mind racing. Finally she spoke emotionlessly, her brain rejecting the very words coming out of her mouth. "What if I don't want to?"
Silence.
"Then that changes things," he said finally, his voice pitifully small, like an insect that had been crushed underfoot.
How could she do this? Why was she doing this?
Finally she reached out and touched his cheek. "I'm sorry. I am so sorry."
His eyes flitted to hers. "Why?" He asked thickly.
"I never meant to hurt you, Carter. I wish-" Her voice caught in her throat. She wished she could be the one to make it better instead of cause the pain, the one to hold him and catch his tears and be there for him. And maybe if things had been different, she could have.
He blinked, and a drop of salt joined the swirling water at his feet.
She fought back her own tears, struggling to keep speaking. How much easier it would be to just give in, just be with him...
Zia clamped her teeth over her lip, this time drawing blood, and forced herself to turn and begin walking away.
"Don't you see it?"
"If you mean an empty park, yes."
"No. It's just...do you believe in magic?"
"Seeing as we are magicians, that would be smart."
Carter's lips tugged up. "Not that magic. Like...something else. Something that comes out only at the right moment, that makes life worth living. That one second where everything comes together and nothing matters anymore. That magic."
Zia laughed. "You are speaking in riddles, Kane."
He pointed to the stars, where the glistening orbs formed a picture of a girl, bow drawn and arrows nocked.
"Don't you find that magical?"
"I only see the stars."
"Only?"
She glanced at him, watching the twinkling lights reflect in his dark brown eyes. He put an arm around her, pulling her closer, and lay down on the damp grass.
"Don't you think that there's more to life that just what we do? What happened to how we feel? Life is just this huge...thing."
Zia raised her eyebrows. "Eloquently put."
He blushed slightly before continuing. "But don't you find that magical? That anything can happen, when you least expect it?"
"Carter?" She stopped again.
"Yeah?" His voice was nearly drowned out by the rain, but she didn't miss the misery in his tone.
"Thank you," she murmured, sensing him approach again.
His mouth turned up in a half-smile, brown eyes dull. "For what?"
She forcefully wiped her eyes with the heel of her hand, threatening any tears which dared to slip out. "Thank you. You...you gave me a reason."
He gently pulled on her arm, spinning her around to face him, and wiped her tears with his thumb without even realizing what he was doing. "What do you mean?"
Zia gritted her teeth, fighting every part of her that was screaming in protest to her actions. "You taught me. You gave me...you gave me a reason to change. To start over. To live again."
Zia was shaking ever so slightly, the immense force of loss she had been holding back finally starting to break down her walls. Everybody needs closure.
He tilted her chin up to look into her eyes, gold to brown, and some sort of silent message passed through them.
Carter pulled her close to him, one arm around her waist and the other on her shoulder, and lowered his lips to hers.
Zia pressed herself closer to him, ignoring their drenched clothes and water coated skin. And the Reason is you...
He held her like a lifeline, memorizing the smell of her Egyptian perfume mixing with the rain, the warmth she brought, the way her lips felt on his, the fire that had nothing to do with her branch of magic. Everything he wanted, everything he needed, everything he was about to lose.
She broke the kiss first, taking in his brown eyes for the last time. "I'm sorry."
And then she turned and ran as fast as her feet would carry her down the path, tears swallowed by the rain, anguish drowned in the torrent.
"I love you," he yelled down the street, voice raw with pain. Loss, misery, agony, anger, shock.
Zia didn't turn back. She sped down the corner, her final word stolen by the howling wind.
"Don't."