Draw me like one of your French boys
Author: LumCheng (feb. '13)
Part: 1/?
Fandom: DmC: Devil May Cry
Disclaimer: All hail Ninja Theory and Capcom.
Pairing: Dante/Kat
Rating: PG12
Warnings: humor, parody, romance, probably OOC and silly
Summary: Dante tries to get into Kat's pants.
Note: This takes place during the game, with a few adjustments ;) Also lots of references to 'The Room' by Tommy Wiseau, lol
"Hey, Kat. Can I ass you a question?"
She stopped in her movements, before turning around slowly, a deep frown on her face. She hated it when he did this. Working petty little puns into every conversation they had together.
Instead of answering, she crossed her arms in front of her chest and arched an eyebrow.
With a big smirk he caught up and stood right in front of her, waving a little package in his right hand.
"Have you seen Vergil? I just came from one of the secret addresses and this little package was delivered - it's for him. I wonder what's in there..."
He shook the brown cardboard box next to his ear and listened. There was hardly any noise, only a faint rustling. Also it didn't weigh much.
Kat sighed.
"Must be new disposable gloves", she said, "he has such a high wastage on these..."
"And here I thought I'm the only one noticing", Dante replied and scratched his head.
"Well, between you and me...", Kat leaned in, her voice suddenly down to a whisper. Dante followed suit, eyes fixed on her lips.
"Finally", he sighed and came even closer. Angrily she shoved his face away.
"Quit that shenanigans, will you?!", she hissed, before looking around if they were really alone on the corridor.
"Look. I think he's got some kind of eczema. Have you ever seen him with bare hands? Yeah, I haven't either. And I've known him for years."
His smirk went wider, eyes sparkling with amusement. "So ya think he has a rash or something? An itching, weeping, disgusting rash, so abominable that he has to hide it all the time?"
"Yes."
Dante leaned backwards and took a deep breath, then put on a serious face.
"So if this is true, then it has to be an evil magic demon rash. 'cause he's nephilim and thus should be able to heal himself from such little aches and pains."
Kat took a step back, eyeing him suspiciously.
"You don't believe me", she finally stated and Dante broke out in laughter.
"Sorry, Kitty. But I'm sure it's nothing."
"Fine then", she mumbled, "but if you get it too, then don't come to me and ask for a magic potion. And if you'll excuse me now..."
Still laughing he stepped aside and let her pass, his eyes following her - or rather her ass - until she vanished behind the corner.
He felt they were making progress. She liked him, he could also feel that. Now she just had to admit it to herself and then spread her legs for him, which she was flaunting so nakedly at all times.
Smiling to himself he turned around and made his way to Vergil's office. If his brother won't be there, he'd just leave the package on his desk and maybe he could look around a bit. Afterall, he was curious about him.
When Dante entered the dark office with all it's blinking, twinkling lights coming from the various electronic devices, he took a moment to look around and make sure he was alone.
One last glance back into the corridor, then he shut the door and walked to the desk in the middle. He carelessly dropped the parcel at the edge of the table and let his fingers slide over the heaps of paperwork, walking towards Vergil's chair - or more like throne - and finally sat down with a loud sigh. Now that was his kind of seat.
He shifted a little, trying to get comfortable, before leaning to the right, lifting his left ass cheek and digging out a hardcover book he was sitting on.
With not much interest he looked at the cover. The Art of War. How boring.
Yawning, Dante flipped through the pages, suddenly furrowed his brows and paused. This didn't sound like Sun Tzu at all. It was more like...
Not thinking any further, he pulled off the glossy cover. Then his eyes went big.
50 Shades of Grey
Seriously? His brother owned a copy of... wow.
Dante's eyes shot up, checking the door, then looked back down, his fingers already sifting through the pages again.
Ten minutes later he sat there, with his boots on the table, reading with vast amusement, a deep chuckle escaping his throat from time to time.
This was worse than he'd expected it to be, though he had to admit - there was entertaining potential. But not of the positive kind.
"Well, fuck me", he said to himself, "it really is always the quiet ones."
Shaking his head in disbelief, Dante shut the book with a loud clap and was almost tempted to throw it into the trash bin next to the desk.
But that one was full of blue, worn disposable gloves. Most of them were bloodstained.
Seemed like there was a lot about his brother, Dante hadn't quite figured out yet.
tbc~
Uhm, yeah. Thanks for reading ^^;
Is this too silly? I'm not sure. Do you want me to continue? XD Wanna read on Dante's countless attempts on getting into Kat's pants? lol
As always: thanks to LilacsBloom. For your inspiration and witty ideas :3
Lummy~