A/N: I was watching this movie when this idea popped up in my head. It starts off slow, but I have tons of twists planned for it. This is my first angsty fic ever so bear with me. Some information you need to know, Brian and Olivia have been together since season 1, got married around season 4, and had a baby around season 7. This story contains a lot of flashbacks so I hope it doesn't confused anyone. Also, if you read any of my other stories, you know I hate uploading short chapters, so the next one will hopefully be longer. Huge shoutout to my beta, Nicole, myjoyfulx3heart on here. She writes amazing Bensidy stories too. Reviews are liked. :)

Olivia ran her fingers over her stomach as she looked in the mirror. There were two scars, one on top of the other. One that brought a life in this world, and another that ended a life. Six months ago she was in a tragic accident. Six months ago, she lost her only child. It was a stormy winter night when she was rushing to get home. Something happened at the precinct, that had her crawling out her skin.

"No, I'm leaving. I'm not going to do that." Olivia said as packed her things. She just wanted to get this case off her mind, and go home to cuddle with her son and husband.

"Liv, I'm sorry, but it's already done." A voice yelled out to her as she nearly ran out the precinct.

It was storming, she was upset, it was dark. She shouldn't have been driving. Jason was rambling on about his day. Olivia was only half listening. She couldn't believe what she had to do.

"Mommy?"

"Huh, baby?" Olivia focused her attention back on the present. While she was thinking about her day, she didn't even realized how fast she was going, nor did she notice the red light she just ran.

"I wanna be a big brother." Jason spoke his last words.

Then it happened almost like it was planned. They were t-boned on the passenger side. They slid across the street and flipped over a curb. Jason flew to the other side of the backseat, and died on impact. He was strapped in, but he wasn't secured. It wasn't the first time Olivia forgot to do it, but it was now her last. Ironically, a windshield wiper was lodged right above where Olivia was cut for her c-section.

Brian walked into the bedroom and sighed. Every day for the last six months, he would walk in on her looking at her scars. "Liv..."

"Not today, Brian. Please not today." She said with tears running down her face. Today was Jason's birthday. Five years ago, she was in labor with him for 40 hours before they just decided to perform a c-section. Now, her five year old son was six feet under, and it was her fault.

Six months ago, Brian lost his only child, and it seemed like he lost his wife too. If Olivia wasn't crying in her closet before she went to bed and passed out from emotional exhaustion; she was sleeping in Jason's room. The only time they talked was about Jason. "I got the flowers. I'm ready whenever you are." He said in a quiet voice. He was always tiptoeing around his words because Olivia was always on edge.

She took a deep breath. "I just need a few more minutes, then I'll be ready."

"Okay." He walked up to her and wrapped his arms around her waist. "I love you so much. You can't blame yourself, baby." This was a line he was always repeating to her.

"Bri, I said not today. I just want to celebrate his life."

"That's fine. I'm just saying."

She pulled from his embrace not liking where this conversation was going. "I'm ready."

Olivia and Brian slowly walked up to Jason's tombstone. Olivia hadn't stopped crying since she woke up this morning and now she was crying so much she could barely see.

"Hey, buddy." Brian said as sat down in the grass. "Happy birthday."

"Hey, baby. Happy Birthday, big boy." Olivia sat next to Brian and grabbed his hand. She tried to breathe, but a sob was trapped in her throat.

"You know he hates when you cry, baby."

Olivia just got home from working a case for three days straight. It was a child abuse case, and those were never easy, but now that she had Jason, they were even harder to deal with. As soon as she walked into the house, Jason attacked her.

"Mommy!" He gripped her legs. "Missed you so much."

She dropped her things and picked up her son. He was four and the spitting image of his father. "I missed you so much, baby." She held him much tighter after cases like this.

Jason pulled away and kissed her on the cheek. "Can we play before bed?" He asked hoping he could get some time alone with his mom.

"Of course. You go get the toys ready while I talk to daddy, is that okay?"

"Yup!" He yelled as he jumped down from her grasp.

Olivia took a deep breath before she walked upstairs to her bedroom. "Bri!"

"Up here, baby!"

She nearly ran up the stairs and in the room to see her husband. "I'm so happy to see you." She said, the tears already running down her face.

"Oh, Liv." He grabbed her and wrapped her in his arms. "Let it out."

"You...those kids...I saw Jas...'" She sobbed and muffled into his shoulder.

He moved them over to the bed. They were positioned to where Olivia was sitting on his lap. "You got the guy, and even though you can never take back what happened to those kids, they can start recovering now that their abuser is behind bars."

Jason walked in the room with a smile on his face that immediately faded when he saw Olivia crying. "Mommy, what's wrong?" He ran to her side. "Don't cry." He reached up and wiped her tears. "I don't like you sad."

"I don't like mommy sad, either," Brian said before he placed a soft kiss on Olivia's temple. "We love you."

Olivia smiled and picked Jason up. "Okay. I'll stop. I have my two favorite boys with me. I should be so happy."

"I'm sorry, Jas, I just miss you so much. Your smile could literally brighten up a room."

"He was a perfect little boy." Brian added.

Olivia shook her head. "I'm so sorry, Jas. I should have been more careful."

"Liv..."

"Brian, I'm trying to get closure. You know, what everyone has been forcing me to do. Either you support me, or you can leave."

Brian knew she needed this, so he simply nodded, kissed her knuckles, and stayed quiet.

"You were telling me about your day. I still have the picture you drew that day. You drew daddy, me, Uncle Fin, and Auntie Melinda. You were always so good in art. But you know what I remember most? The very last thing you ever said."

Brian became confused. Olivia had never mentioned this to him or to anyone for that matter.

"You said you wanted to be a big brother, and no matter how hard daddy and I have to try, we'll make that happen. Give us a while to get everything together, okay? Just remember that we won't and can never replace you. You're our first born, Jas. You brought us so much joy and we can never forget that. Mommy loves you." By the time she was finished, she was shaking uncontrollably with sobs.

Brian wrapped his arms around Olivia. "We had lots of great memories, kid. We made so many bets on how long mommy was going to be at work. I owed you cookies and let you stay up late. I never won those, now that I think about it." He chuckled as a few tears escaped his eyes. "You were such a bright kid; definitely got that from your mom. Even though we won't be able to see you grow up, you're forever in our hearts, and we have the best guardian angel ever. I love you so much, Jason. Like I promised, I'll take good care of mommy for you now. Happy birthday."

"Liv, can we talk?" They had just gotten back from the cemetery. He knew Olivia was drained, but it was something bugging him that he needed to get off his chest.

"Can you make it quick? I'm so tired, Bri." She said as she climbed in the bed next to him.

"You want another kid?" He got straight to the point.

She sighed. "Even if Jason was still here, I would want another one. He wanted to be a big brother, and since I killed him, it's the least I can do."

"You didn't, Olivia." He absolutely hated when she blamed herself for the accident.

"Brian, we've been over this so many times before. I should have been more careful in those types of weather conditions." The tears were back. "I always fucking forget to secure the damn seat belt. The doctors said if I would have secured it, he wouldn't have flown which is what killed him. It's my fault, and nobody can convince me otherwise."

"Liv..."

"No, okay. I'm trying to move on, but I can't. It is so hard living with the fact that you're the reason that someone isn't alive anymore." She lowered her voice and looked down at her hands that were resting in her lap. "It's even harder when you know that your husband hates you too."

"How...how could you even think that?" He shook his head as he tried figure out what would make her feel this way.

She turned to look at him. "You can't lie and say not even a tiny part of you hates me. It's okay if you do, because I hate myself too."

Olivia was scaring Brian. The last time she talked like this, it was the day after the funeral.

"Liv, I'm home!" Brian hated that he had to go work during a time like this. His son had just died, and his wife was still recovering from an accident. He didn't get a response, and figured she was sleep. He walked in the bedroom and saw her sitting on the bed with her gun in her lap. "Liv?" He was getting insanely worried.

"I tried to stay strong, I really did."

"No, Liv, please."

"I killed my son. I killed our son. I'm a murderer." She said like an emotionless robot.

Brian walked closer to her. He couldn't lose her. Not now, not ever. "No, Liv. You didn't. I can't lose you and Jason. Please, let's just talk about this." He felt the tears stinging his eyes. This couldn't be happening.

"I'm sorry, Brian. I love you." She lifted the gun to her head.

Brian jumped into immediate action and dived for the gun. It went off and hit the wall. Brian was laying on top of her crying, hard. He looked down at her and saw pure shock. She wasn't herself. This wasn't Olivia, and that scared the hell out of him.

"You want to know the truth, Olivia? I was upset. My son died. Do I blame you? I did at first. I wanted to know how you could let this happen, but I got over it because it was an accident. Nobody is playing the blame game here except for you. Nothing you say or do can make me stop loving you. We're in this for better or for worse, and right now, we have to tough it out. I love you and will never stop."

He said exactly what she had wanted to hear this whole time. She needed to hear the truth, no matter how much it hurt her. She was slowly, but steadily making her step to closure. "Thank you," she said through tears. "Jason wouldn't want me like this. Tomorrow, after therapy, I'm finally going to clean out his room."

Brian pulled Olivia closer to him and kissed her forehead. "I'm so proud of you. Jas is proud of you too. I'm not saying this will get better or easier, but you will get stronger."

"Have I told you I loved you lately?"

He took a deep breath. "No, you actually haven't, but I know you do, so don't worry about it. I love you."

"I'm sorry, Bri. I've been neglecting you. There's no excuses."

"You're mourning the loss of our child. That's okay. I haven't been paying you much attention either. We've both been in our own little worlds since the accident." He sat up in the bed a little. "That's why I want to take you on a date tomorrow."

"Well, I can't really say no. It's our 10 year wedding anniversary." She kissed his knuckles. "You've been the best husband anyone could ever ask for. I love you."

He smirked. "The best, eh? I don't want to toot my own horn, but..."

Olivia elbowed him in the ribs and chuckled. "Shut up."

He grinned. "Alright, but you have to be the best wife ever. I'm so happy that you decided to marry a chump like me."

"But Bri, you're a great man. I'm the one who's lucky to have you. You've been with me through hell and back, and back again. That's why I married you."

Between what today was and the words Olivia had just said to him, he got a little teary-eyed. No matter the circumstances, they always found their way back to each other. That's what made them a great couple. They were like a complicated puzzle that took time to be put together, but the end result was a beautiful thing.

He didn't respond with words; he responded with a passionate kiss that he put all his feelings in. No matter what it took, he was going to make sure he and Olivia would get through this together.

Olivia pulled away and tried to catch her breath. "Wow," was all she could say after a kiss like that.

"You bring me nothing but pure happiness. I can't put in words how much I love you."

She smirked. "Would you still love me if I told you Jas always called me asking when I was coming home, and that's how he won the bets?"

"I knew!" Brian yelled, then burst into laughter. "Why didn't I think of that? God, he was a genius."

Olivia leaned on Brian's shoulder and sighed contently. "Yes, yes he was."