"Sometimes, the very thing that can resolve a painful situation is the perfect amount of required empathy."
Sirius' P.O.V (Sometime during Order of the Phoenix, preferably after the Christmas holidays)
I knew it. The moment I introduced them I could tell, well Tonks had never exactly been subtle. Remus however was a little trickier, because he acts the same around nearly all-decent looking women that aren't married, embarrassed and shy. Which would be natural to assume seeing as he's a werewolf. Which in turn effects his self-esteem. It took James and I quite a while to get to know Remus, him being all introverted. Coinciding with that whole "small world" theory, it didn't surprised me when he started getting all cosy with my second cousin. And when I mean cosy, I mean leaving the chair closest to the fire open for her and most of the time passing her the salad first at dinner. It was quite painful to watch really, so I knew I had to do something…
111
So when Remus and Tonks came over for dinner next, I decided to implement phase one for my plan (nothing too strenuous, just testing the waters). I had made quite a lot of effort making dinner (beef lasagne with salad and chips) which I usually do when having guests (I guess you could call it an incentive to come around more, I'm not sure it's working though).
"Thanks for coming round, I really appreciate it," I said to them, Tonks was sitting at the head of the table and Remus was sitting on the left with one seat between them, as if Tonks would be able to contract the werewolf curse just by seating in close proximity.
"No probs, Kingsley was telling me how you've been more moodier than well… Moody lately," said Tonks with a smile. I rolled my eyes, wow! Tonks cracked a funny!
"Witty, Dora, witty," I replied and went back to stirring dressing through the salad. Remus chuckled as Tonks turned pink.
"It's awfully quiet now that the kids have gone off to Hogwarts," said Remus, giving me one of those knowing smiles. I nodded and smiled bitterly. I missed all of them so much, even Hermione. I never believed that theory that men are attracted to women that are like their mothers (with a spiteful hag like mine it was any wonder), well after meeting her and noticing her somewhat uncanny resemblance to Molly… Well all I can say is Ron's got his work cut out for him. But I missed Harry the most. I knew that he would go back to Hogwarts with the rest of them, though I'm not going to deny that I wanted him to stay. It was a few days before I could face him, I felt so bad about having such selfish thoughts, thinking I could teach him whatever he needed for use later in life. He would have been miserable here anyway; he belongs with kids his own age, not a wrongly convicted serial killer. But it would have been cool to teach him how to become an animagus…! I placed the salad on the table, in front of the empty seat between the two unsuspecting lovebirds. I then grabbed the lasagne tray (and a chopping board to put underneath it) and placed it on the table too. I then walked around to the other side of Remus (so that he couldn't move over the other way).
"Come on move over," I asked with an air of impatience. Remus gave me a funny look.
"I was here first" he replied, he seemed to be rather alarmed at the prospect of moving closer to Tonks.
"No you weren't, I've always sat in that seat. It even has my name on it," I replied. I'm not sure it is a good thing or a bad thing that the chair actually did have my name on it. Remus, still not moving, frowned at my (okay I'll admit) childish behaviour. He was also starting to look suspicious. Damn my lack of subtlety… I rolled my eyes,
"It's not like Tonks is going to bite you,". This statement was not met with the desired level of confidence, as Tonks just happened to turn and smile at Remus with a transformed pair of vampire fangs.
"Come on Mooney, I'm starving," whined Tonks. So with a heavy sigh (and a still suspicious and raised eyebrow look at me) Remus moved over as I sat down next to him.
"Now, that wasn't so bad was it?" I said smiling, Remus gave me a look that purely said "I know what you're up to, and it's not working", but he was just bluffing, at least I hope so. I dished out lasagne to everyone.
"Can someone please pass the salad?" I asked, a smile on my face. Remus and Tonks both went to retrieve the salad and, to my luck, both their hands touched. As I expected, there was blushing on both parties and profusely apologising Mooney. I managed to stifle a chuckle.
"It's not that big of a deal Remus," said Tonks sternly albeit cheeks still pink. She grabbed the bowel again and passed the salad to me, I piled some one my plate and gave the bowel back to Tonks, who them promptly put a decent amount on not only her plate but (to my entertainment) Remus' as well. Remus frowned slightly.
"Nymphadora, I don't need that much," he said with a sigh.
"Never-the-less, you need fattening up," replied Tonks with a grin.
"You have become terribly thin as of late Mooney," I chimed in.
"Yes, but I'm sure I don't need more salad," he replied. I could tell he was getting slightly annoyed at being ganged-up on.
"Perhaps, but I do know there's one thing for certain that you do need," I said with a smirk. Remus raised his eyebrow at me; his expression held a curious glint but displayed also that he was sure he wasn't going to like what I was about to suggest.
"Really? And what would this be?" he asked dryly.
"A woman," I declared with a smirk. Tonks took this moment to choke on her lettuce. Remus, startled, started to pat her on the back. I took this opportune moment to get up from the table, summon a bottle of mature-aged wine from the pantry, pour it into one of the few remaining decent-looking Black goblets, left it on the kitchen bench, walk back over the table, sat down and held it out to Remus.
"Here, give this to her," I said, watching as Tonks stopped choking but was rather red in the face. From embarrassment or lack of oxygen, I wasn't sure. Then I realised my fatal mistake; I should have realised things had been going too good for too long. Tonks, being as accident prone as she is, went to grab the goblet but ended in spilling it all over Remus' lap.
"Oh I'm so terribly sorry!" gasped Tonks, conjured a towel out of no-where and began dabbing at it, not realising how close her hands where to Remus' groin.
"It's perfectly fine, I can clean it up," said Remus panicky, his voice a slightly higher pitch than usual. His cheeks were growing redder the longer she kept dabbing at his lap with the burgundy soaked towel. At this moment I couldn't help but let out a bark of laughter, which was quickly muted by the death glare sent by Remus'.
"No, no, the least I can do is help clean up," said Tonks, clearly feeling guilty. Heh, heh, heh. Thinking it best to intervene due to the threat of Remus' blood all going to his head (which one I'll leave a mystery) I did a quick cleaning charm.
"Now that that's sorted, Remus would like a glass of wine to drink instead of wear?" I asked, the mirth in my voice barely contained.
"Why didn't you do that earlier?" Remus hissed to me quietly.
"You looked to be enjoying yourself," I hissed back with a shrug. "Now, would you like a glass of wine?" Oh if looks could throttle…!
"No thank you," he replied icily. Remus resumed eating in a somewhat jerkily, stabbing his tomatoes with an almost vehement fashion. Oh well, he'd soon learn that it was all for his own good.
"Tonks?" I asked, summoning the bottle of wine and two more goblets over to the table.
"Yes please," she replied with a sheepish grin. "Sorry Remus,"
"It's perfectly fine," declared Remus, still stabbing his tomatoes.
"Back on subject, I think you'd be well suited with a woman with a good sense of humour, a decent amount of curiosity and style, what do you think Tonks?" I asked pouring wine into the three goblets. Tonks looked like a deer caught in a pair of headlights. While Remus looked up at her, as if for the first time, he then turned his head slowly, glaring daggers at me, mouthing the word "you…!" Hmmm… seems like Mooney's cottoned on to my plan, oh well.
"Well," began Tonks, Remus turned his head so quickly to look at her I thought he had given himself whiplash. "I think it should be Remus who decides what kind of girl, it's kind of irrelevant what I think seeing as he's the one whose got to live with her," Remus looked half way between looking glad she hadn't answered, and possibly disappointed?
"But it is important what you think Dora, I'm sure Mooney agrees," I said with a shrug, taking a bite of my lasagne. Tonks looked beseechingly at Remus, hoping he himself would confirm my words. Remus sighed.
"Of course it's important what you think Nymphadora-," said Remus
"I've told you hundred times not to call me that," she pouted, to which Remus grinned.
"But I fail to see the sudden interest in my love-life, given my current state," said Remus as if there hadn't been an interruption. His eyes held a lost forlorn look that made me think he had to be one of the most lonelily men in the world. But look gave me hope, because it meant he didn't want his life to be like that. But, to my surprise, it was Tonks who broke the still sad silence with an inelegant snort.
"That's not a proper reason, that's an excuse," she said hotly. Remus looked slightly surprised but recovered quickly.
"It's not an excuse, I'm dangerous-," countered Remus but was interrupted.
"That's why they invented the wolf's bane potion," she said quickly. Remus frowned.
"Well I'm poor and I'm too old," he said, the "old" part directed at me.
"What do you mean? If you truly love someone, age, money, and whether he or she is a werewolf doesn't come into it," said Tonks, rather passionately. I smirked and looked smugly at Remus. "Look at my family, my mother comes from a pure-blooded 'muggles are the scum of the earth' family. Yet she married a muggle-born, who she is four years older than," she crossed her arms against her chest. The look she was plainly giving Mooney dared him to defy her words. Remus sighed and ate some of his lasagne.
"You wouldn't understand, you don't know what it's like," he said quietly, he never did like confrontation. I sighed; Remus needed to get these silly notions out his head. I knew this was going to be difficult, I just didn't realise just how much so. He surely wasn't going to weasel out the conversation with that excuse, if the look on Tonks' face was anything to go by. The sirens were going off in my head, time to intervene.
"So Tonks, by the sounds of it you must already be shacked up with some handsome and passionate Ministry worker," I said with a smirk. I knew for a fact she lived alone in a one-bedroom apartment that was rather small and a tad far way from here. Though of course she had her Apparition licence, so she could go wherever she may want to, but she had taken to (over the last few months) saying here at headquarters for weeks on end. She had said that she liked being closer to the action and being more able to get in contact with everyone, I however knew better. The room she stayed in was the one across from Remus', a coincidence I think not. Tonks shrugged and blushed slightly.
"Not really, there's been offers," she looked nonchalant about it, rather bored or annoyed really. Lupin was giving her a curious look but said nothing and continued eating.
"Well I would have expected as much, Andromeda being the looker she was," I said, taking drink of my wine. Remus was acting like he wasn't listening, but I knew he was. Tonks smiled at the compliment, then shrugged.
"But seeing as everyone at the Ministry is pretty much a jerk and can't be trusted, there's no guys there that spark my interest anyway," she said, taking a gulp of her wine.
"What about any girls?" I suggested, wiggling my eyebrows. Tonks blushed and Remus looked completely taken aback. Unlike me, he did not know about Tonks occasional bisexual tendencies.
"No, that was mostly a faze I went through in Hogwarts," she said with a mock glare at me for bringing it up. "I'm mainly interested in men now," she did a not so sublet look at Remus, who had been paying too much attention to his wine goblet; perhaps he had been suspecting the look…? "Why the sudden interest?" asked Tonks good-naturedly. Remus turned and looked at me with glare.
"Yes, I'm very curious," he said, his expression did not suggest, but demanded answers. It was the same look he would give James and I when we snuck out to the kitchens and get the house-elves to give us fire-whisky and come back staggeringly drunk. I didn't know how we didn't get caught… Especially that night we got so blind we crashed into several suites of amour. I sighed dramatically.
"Well in case you haven't noticed, I'm getting old," I said, dramatically motioning to my face, Remus rolled his eyes. I then wrapped an arm around Remus' shoulder (perhaps much to his alarm). "And I want to see to it that my Mooney and cousin is taken care of, if I happen to pass on," Remus was looking half amused, half 'what am I going to do you?'. In all honestly he kind of deflated, as he had conceded defeat at those words. Tonks giggled a little and blushed.
"Your Mooney?" both of them asked, Remus in an annoyed manner compared to Tonks' amused one. I smirked evilly.
"Tonks, would you like more wine…?"
111
Tonks was a cheap drunk, something I was very much counting on seeing as her mother was the same. I was a tad tipsy myself, but after my years of drinking I had learned my limit, as usual, the hard way. Remus was watching on with increasing disapproval. He always was the fuddy-duddy of our group. Oh dear, I'm using words like fuddy-duddy…
"Hey Tonks, can you stand?" I asked with a grin, sway, and raised eyebrow.
"You know what? I don't think I can," she grinned, then looked a little ashamed of herself due to Remus' reproachful look.
"Well then, you'll just have to stay the night!" I declared. Tonks stood up,
"Gladly!" she exclaimed, and quickly lost balance and crashed to the floor.
"Remus, won't you take her up to her room?" I asked Remus glared.
"Gladly," he said, in a tone that told there would be discussion once Tonks was out of earshot. Remus shook his head, stood up and helped Tonks to her feet.
"Come on Nymphadora, time to go to bed," he said, his voice dripping with disapproval. I didn't see what his problem was; it wasn't like Tonks had work to go to tomorrow. I got up as well and made to go help, but Remus brushed me off.
"You're going to need my help getting up those stairs, let alone through that hallway quietly," I said, my hands on my hips. Remus begrudgingly agreed as I slung one of Tonks' arms around my shoulder and Remus slung the other arm around his.
"You know Remus," said Tonks looking at him closely. "I didn't know you had a twin," Remus' mouth twitched.
"That's because I don't," he said with a sigh.
"Well the both of you are quiet handsome," said Tonks with a smile. I sniggered, but Remus' look quickly silenced it. Remus looked as if he was trying not say something scathing. I opened the door to the hall.
"Thank you," he grit out at last.
"Anytime, Mooney," replied Tonks. "Your nickname doesn't have a double meaning does it?" I actually snorted at this while Remus went pink.
"No, Nymphadora. I don't think that's an appropriate question," he said, too quickly to be believed by any sober person.
"Oh okay, didn't mean to upset you," she said very seriously. "It's just I've heard you Marauders had a tendency of getting up to no good," she giggled. Remus turned and looked at me as we managed to walk past my mother's portrait without waking her.
"Yes, we do. You 'd think we would have grown out of it," said Remus with a glare at me. I shrugged innocently.
"Our reputation precedes us Remus, I've done nothing," I said with a grin, I then began helping Tonks up the stairs.
"Nothing!?" cried Remus, now that we were out of the hallway. "What do you call this?"
"Drunken overindulgence," I replied. "To which Tonks is a competent adult and can make her own decisions," Remus than began muttering under his breath. It was a short while before we reached the landing in which Tonks', Remus' and my own bedrooms were. Remus had Regulus' old bedroom, seeing as he was more a brother to me than the one I was actually related to.
"She'll need to have a drink of water before she goes to sleep," stated Remus, the frown line between his eyebrows getting deeper.
"I'll go get it!" I said, Remus' eyebrows furrowed deeper. I left the room and closed the door behind me, got out an extendable ear I had nicked of Fred and George and it wriggled under the door.
"You know Remus, I've been meaning to pick a bone with you," said Tonks. I was very surprised at how clear and loud the volume was, this device was money well spent. I don't know why Molly has such a problem with the twins making such devices when they could be of such good use.
"Really Nymphadora?" Asked Remus as I heard him pull the covers over my second cousin. He sounded annoyed, surprised and nervous all at once
"Yeah," said Tonks with a slight slur. "Every time I ask you out for coffee or lunch you brush me off, why are you avoiding me?"
"I'm not avoiding you. I honestly can't be seen with you in public, it wouldn't look good for ministry workers to see an Auror with a werewolf. They'd know immediately you were siding with Dumbledore," replied Remus, as if he had been expecting this question for sometime and had a well rehearsed answer. Damn, I thought, he always one step ahead of me.
"Well in London yeah, but we could always go somewhere else," countered Tonks, annoyed at his answer. "Am I not good enough for you?" She sounded on the verge of tears. I hadn't counted on the fact that Tonks could have rapid mood swings when drunk. But more importantly, I needed to see what was going on, Remus was always easier to gauge on body language than words. I quickly muttered a spell that would make the door transparent on one-side. Moody had taught me this from back when he was still an interrogator. I saw Remus look stricken and kneeled beside her.
"That's not it at all," he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear which had escaped. "No, I'm the one that's not good enough. I'm too dangerous, too poor, and too old, you need a man that's young and can provide for you and your family." Tonks rolled her eyes and glared at Remus as a few tears slid down her cheek, I had never seen her really glare at anyone like that.
"Of course Remus. A top Auror, which highly trained so that they are capable of dealing with dangerous persons or things and is adept at making the wolf's bane potion, is also paid rather well needs a man to provide for her," she stated, countering all this arguments in one fell swoop. She had been looking to the left of Remus and then when she had finished looked back at Remus as if he had suddenly moved or there had been two of him. I had to hand it to her, she was absolutely right. I was surprised that she hadn't been put into Ravenclaw. But then again, neither Tonks nor I could force Remus to be in a relationship. He didn't look at her; instead he retrieved a clean handkerchief from his pocket.
"Please, I hate to see you cry, especially over someone as worthless as me," he said softly, wiping away her tears being as gentle as his voice. More tears flowed from Tonks' eyes.
"And I hate it when you say things like that! Because I know that you're not and now I have proof!" She said, but looked as though she regretted being as honest as she had.
"Proof?" Asked Remus still in that soft tone of voice
"I… I looked at your OWL and NEWT scores, to see if you really were as useless and worthless as your always insinuating," said Tonks, half-shocked she was still continuing half-afraid of Remus' reaction. I made a mental note that that Tonks was an honest drunk around Remus, who looked scandalised.
"But that's illegal! You can't have access to those without permission, its enchanted not to reveal them if you don't," exclaimed Remus, wondering how Tonks had gotten around such an ancient spell, I was too.
"You gave me -hiccup- permission," said Tonks, rather slyly. Then I remembered that when Remus had been given his "furry" mission Dumbledore had suggested that Tonks remove all his files from the ministry, in case it was infiltrated and then the Death Eaters wouldn't know who the Order's werewolf spy was. Tonks had asked if that was okay with Remus and had said yes. That Dora was certainly giving Remus a run for his money! I chuckled softly, as not to disturb the two. "You got nearly all 'Outstanding' and two 'Exceeds Expectations' so you can't say your stupid," Remus rolled his eyes.
"Dawlish got all outstanding on his OWLS and NEWTS and he's a complete moron," he grumbled. Tonks giggled, and I saw Remus' lips tug with the satisfaction of amusing someone. But he seemed to realise his close proximity to Tonks and made to move away, but Tonks held on to his left-hand with both of hers.
"Please," she said softly. "Please don't push me away. I'm not going to force myself on you, but I can still be there for you," her bright eyes looked into Remus' hazel, half-begging half-pleading. I felt kind of guilty watching this, like some perverse voyeur, but it was like Qudditch collision you could see coming; you want to stop but you can't look away.
"I'm too dangerous to be around you, in more ways then one," said Remus quickly, before Tonks could interject. It was as though he was giving these reasons to himself as much as he was Tonks. "We could never have children, mainly because my kind can't breed and I wouldn't want to risk giving my curse to some innocent child," Tonks looked as though Remus was being logical, but she didn't like what she was hearing. "Also, think of the social repercussions of it, your family and friends would never wish to have anything to do with you because you're with me,"
"I don't care, I don't care what they think, what anyone thinks," replied Tonks, her tone passionate but her expression angry. It was really quiet touching, I knew that Remus had never really had a girlfriend because of his condition. But at least now he couldn't use the excuse of rejection, not when Tonks was begging him like this, albeit drunkenly. Remus sighed; he sat down on the edge of the bed. Tonks moved over for him. Remus raised and eyebrow and cautiously moved over, afraid she would attach herself to him at any moment. I rolled my eyes; he had to seriously get over his 'non-touching of other people' thing.
"You will care. You'll care when everybody you know abandons you because of me, then you'll blame me for your isolation and rightly so," he stated with a sad sort of calmness.
"All of the order excepts you, besides we would have each other," replied Tonks, moving subtly closer to Remus, who noticed her movement and smiled bittersweetly. He stood up from the bed, made sure there was some distance between the two of them but he couldn't face the Metamorphmagus.
"I should leave and find that meddling cousin of yours, he seems to have forgotten where the kitchen is…" Tonks' face fell and she turned her body away from Remus, pulling her knees underneath her chin. Remus turned to look at her and his face held a pained look. "Please don't think this doesn't hurt me too, I don't really want to do this," Tonks turned her head to face Remus.
"Then don't," she replied softly. Remus sighed heavily, closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. Tonks' began to smirk as she edged closer to the youngest Marauder.
"I don't know what else to do, If I'm with you I can't protect you from me," he said softly. Tonks was mere inches from his face now,
"I don't need protecting," she said softly. Remus looked up surprised, the volume of her voice indicating just how close she was to him. My whole body tensed up as I watched, it all happened in slow motion. Before Remus could move away again, Tonks leaned forward and kissed him. It took all of my will power not to make a noise (it was quiet an effort I can tell you). I, however, settled for thumping the air with my fist and hissing 'Yes!' when I noticed Remus kissing Tonks back. And as fate would have it, which is the precise moment that Kreacher decided to amble into the hall, incoherently muttering to himself quiet loudly.
"Kreacher, shush!" I whispered as to not disturb Remus and Tonks. Kreacher looked up to see the door to Tonks' room see through with Remus and Tonks inside, then at me (looking as guilty as sin) standing outside. His expression was of bewilderment.
"What is it that the blood-traitor Master Sirius doing?" asked Kreacher loudly with a slight smirk, perhaps sensing my panic. I quickly reversed the one-sided transparency spell upon the door, quickly grabbed up the entire extendable ear, shoved it in my pocket and created a glass goblet.
"Aguamenti," I said quickly, filling the goblet up with water, it was just in time, as Remus then opened the door, who greeted me with a raised eyebrow.
"What took you so long?" he asked, completely suspicious.
"Kreacher found a horde of doxy eggs in the attic and thought I should tend to it," I said casually. I looked at the house-elf sternly "Right Kreacher?"
"What is Mistress' failed son talking about I wonder?" muttered Kreacher, giving me a most bewildered stare. "And the filthy blood traitor Weasleys imply Kreacher is the mentally unbalanced one…"
"What have I told you about calling people blood traitors?" I growled. Remus sighed pinching the bridge of his nose again.
"Nothing, as far as Kreacher remembers. Master Sirius, who fails at life, has not banned Kreacher from saying it, Kreacher is sure of it, Kreacher would remember something like that," said the house elf silkily. I couldn't help but be repulsed by the sight of him.
"Well you're not allowed to call anyone a mudblood or a blood traitor ever again," I stated simply.
"Of course master," said Kreacher softly, giving me a loathsome glare, which was reciprocated with interest. Kreacher then got a curious gleam in his eyes and walked forward, he spied Tonks in the room, looked at Remus, then back at me and gave a sinister cackle.
"Kreacher, I order you to go to bed and sleep until morning," I said, the fear of him incriminating me was strong. Kreacher shot me a noxious look before he Disapparated to his little hole underneath the boiler. "Merlin's beard, he's a depisable thing," I said with disgust. Remus gave me an extremely reproachable look. "What he is," I said. I passed Remus the goblet of water.
"Thank you," he said, suspicious once more.
"Your welcome," I said, with a smirk. "I'll let you two bid each other goodnight," I wriggled my eyebrows and went to walk over to my room to go to sleep.
"Not so fast," said Remus sternly, I rolled my eyes, stopped, turned around and raised and eyebrow at him. "WE need to discuss a few things," I sighed.
"Well hurry it up, I'm tired and I want to go to bed," I said while examining my nails. They could do with a trim… Remus gave me an infuriated look.
"You are unbelievable," he seethed. I chuckled and shrugged my shoulders.
"It's why you adore me so," I said with a smirk. Remus had no retort to that and turned around to give Tonks her water. I walked forward and leaned in the doorway.
"Here," said Remus, handing Tonks the goblet. "You won't get much of a hang over if you drink this," Tonks smiled and drank the whole lot in one gulp. Remus refilled the goblet.
"More?" grumbled Tonks. Remus smiled.
"You'll thank me in the morning," he said and Tonks begrudgingly drank the second goblet. She then snuggled deeper into the covers.
"Well sweet dreams," she said, quickly falling asleep.
"Don't forget to kiss her goodnight," I said in a loud whisper, Remus' response was for his eye to twitch with annoyance.
"I'm not going to dignify that with a response," he replied.
"But you just did," I said with a pointed yawn.
"You are such a child," exclaimed Remus clenching his fists by his side.
"I know you are but what am I," I replied poking my tongue out at him. Remus looked as though he was about to pull his hair out, and possibly make me eat it… "Besides, I've been called worse," I shrugged. Remus ushered me out of the room and closed the door to Tonks' bedroom and I prepared myself for a guilt-inducing rant.
"Come with me," he said angrily and I knew better than to argue. We trooped down the stairs to the kitchen and I plunked myself in my seat and rested my feet up on another, waiting for the yelling to begin. But it seemed that Remus was so angry by my 'gentle' prodding of him and Tonks he apparently had no words to express it, but I could tell he was quickly working on that problem.
"How could you do that!? How could you lead Nymphadora on like that, knowing full well of my condition!" he exclaimed, pacing up and down the length of the kitchen table.
"I didn't lead her on," I said, crossing my arms against my chest. "Call me old fashioned, but I don't go around kissing my cousins," Remus just stood there, an expression of extreme flabbergasted-ness upon his face, his jaw hanging wide open. "I'd close that if I were you, unless you want to collect a whole lot of bugs." I gestured towards Remus' still open mouth. He quickly shut it and looked, if possible even more infuriated than before. Then a look of immense curiosity stole across his face.
"How did you know?" he asked in a rather small voice. My eyes flashed in triumph.
"So you did kiss her," I stated, grinning broadly. I didn't want Remus to know my methods because then he would find a way of blocking them. Besides, bluffing my way through things was highly polished skill of mine. Remus groaned loudly and pulled at his pre-maturing-greying hair.
"I can't believe I fell for that!" he moaned. I rolled my eyes.
"Oh come on, it wasn't exactly hard to figure out you know, you had been in there, together, for a rather long time…" my reasoning didn't seem to give Remus any kind of comfort. "I fail to see what the big deal is," I stated calmly, examining my nails, awaiting the upcoming outburst.
"The BIG Deal!?" exclaimed Remus loudly. I sighed heavily; this mantra of his was growing old.
"Do you not have romantic feelings or inclinations towards our Dear Tonks?" I asked, looking directly into his eyes. Remus had that panicked 'trapped animal' look.
"It's not that I don't like her-," he said but I interrupted.
"Good, you like her, now that's sorted out," I stated simply. "Do you have problems getting it up?" Remus went crimson.
"Sirius!" he exclaimed in embarrassment, completely scandalised.
"What?" I asked, raising up my arms. "We're guys, we can talk about this, you know you can take a potion to fix that now. Nearly everybody gets performance anxieties,"
"Oh really?" he looked at me sardonically with a raised eyebrow.
"Well except for me, of course. With my learned skills," I said with a cocky smirk, examining my nails yet again. Remus groaned and rolled his eyes. With a heavy sigh he collapsed into the chair next to me.
"Lecherous dog." He grumbled. "Surely you can't be serious?" he asked, I smirked.
"I am Sirius, and don't call me Shirley," I said with a snicker. That's twice tonight I had used that pun on him. Remus groaned as if he suffered a mortal wound and I laughed openly at his expense.
"So, you like her," I said, counting the reasons off on my fingers. "She likes you, you don't have to worry about going on the flop," Remus clasped his left hand to his forehead at that. "So what's the problem?"
"I'm scared," said Remus softly.
"I assumed as such," I stated. I sighed and slumped back into my chair (I had been sitting hunched over on the edge of my seat nearly the whole time), "What of?"
"Of losing her, to death or my own stupidity, of her being used against me, or I against her," replied Remus. I nodded, these were legitimate reasons. With Voldermort getting more powerful, there was no guarantee anyone of us would survive the second war, including Dumbledore. "Scared she'll see exactly just how inadequate I really am," I sighed and glared at Remus.
"Remus, stop being a wet blanket, you're no better or worse than any other man. Shouldn't the fact that she wants to be with you be enough? I mean, we're all going to die anyway," I sighed as Remus was silent, just staring down at his hands. "What are you going to do if she wakes up and doesn't remember?" I asked, suddenly realising rather fatal flaw in my grand plan. Remus looked up with a bittersweet smile.
"Than she will be better off not knowing, but that I know of her intentions and arguments I build a defence to them," he said. "I know better now and will not let my emotions get the better of me,"
"You always have to make things difficult for yourself don't you?" I said, clearly frustrated. "But it's your mistake to make I guess. Goodnight Remus," I shook my head and left my remaining best mate to brood in the darkness and wallow in his insecurities.