John

Based off the 2004 movie

Jeff woke with a start. His mind kept replaying the images he'd seen in the Bank of London. Oh, god, if he lost his son that day, he didn't know if he had the strength to go on. He wasn't afraid of losing his own life, and he almost had earlier the same day, but losing any one of his sons would simply break him. He looked to his bedside clock-radio. 4:07 am. That meant he'd only gotten three hours sleep. He leaned back on his pillows and thought about the dream that woke him.

The thought of losing Alan, though, had simply scared him shitless. He had come close to losing his own life and the lives of his four oldest sons (he didn't dare think of what that would have meant for Alan) but to have witnessed his youngest son nearly die at the hand of a monster tore at the father's heart. Jeff sat and slid his legs over the side of his bed. Running a hand over his face, he took a deep breath to calm his racing heart. He didn't think he could go back to sleep. Not after the nightmares that plagued him day and night for the last week. He gave off a dry laugh and stopped when he felt the same lump of emotions rise in his chest. It was a miracle that he actually had gotten any sleep after receiving that first distress call from John.

Slipping on his slippers, he made his way to his bedroom door. He pulled on his robe and was tying it up as he exited his suite. Maybe a coffee would help him settle his raging thoughts. He didn't want to face another day like last week. No parent would.

Jeff made his way downstairs and to the kitchen. It was no surprise that John was also making his way to the kitchen. Of all his sons, Jeff thought that perhaps John suffered from nightmares worse than the other boys. It could have been due to the fact John had been with Lucy just moments before she had died or perhaps because as a child, John had suffered from more nightmares than the other boys. Of course, that was as far as Jeff was concerned.

"Trouble sleeping, son?"

John nodded and rubbed his face. The twenty-four-year-old didn't speak, but Jeff knew his second oldest well enough to know that the boy would open up eventually. They both entered the kitchen and Jeff told his son to take a seat. "Hot chocolate or coffee?" the patriarch asked.

"Coffee," John replied after a moment. "I don't think I'll be sleeping again tonight."

Jeff busied himself around the kitchen. At least, around the areas he knew, which was the tap for boiling water, where the cups and the tea, coffee and other hot drinks were kept. He soon had two cups of coffee ready and he joined his son sitting at the island in the middle of the kitchen. Handing one to John, he took a sip off his own.

"Care to tell me about it?" Jeff asked.

"I keep thinking about last week. What if you hadn't made it?"

"I ask myself that each day since I allowed you boys to join me with the Thunderbirds." Jeff cupped his hands around the mug he was holding. "I try not to think about what would happen if one of our rescues lead to one of you losing your lives. Last week came too close to home."

John frowned and took in his father's worried look. "Dad, we know the risks."

Jeff looked at his son and shook his head. "I don't think you realise what it would do to me if I lost one of you boys." The platinum blond was about to say something when the father cut him off. "I was terrified I would lose you, John. I left here with the other boys to come and get you, only to nearly lose my life along with four of my children. I've never been so scared in my whole life. All I could think about when we were trapped was what would happen to Alan if we didn't make it."

John looked down at his coffee cup. He couldn't continue to hold his father's intense stare. He'd been scared he wouldn't make it and see his little brother again, but was sure that the Thunderbirds would be able to pull off a rescue. Then they'd all been trapped on the space station. He hadn't really thought that far ahead past the continued lack of oxygen. He hadn't really considered what would have happened if Alan had lost all of them, and was unable to properly burry them. "Dad, I don't want to go back to the station," he admitted quietly. "I mean, I still love the stars, but having almost lost my life..." he trailed off and was unsure of how he could continue. He didn't want to look at his father's face, just in case he saw disappointment written there.

When Jeff next spoke, he surprised his son. "I'm not surprised, son. At the present, I don't want to be there either. But life must go on. We're going to rebuild and someway, we'll make it so whoever is on the space station is better protected from missiles and meteors."

John looked up from his drink and gave Jeff a shaky smile. "Thanks, Dad. Maybe someday I could make myself go back up there."

"But right now the memories are too fresh." Jeff sighed and finished off his cup of coffee. He decided not to refill his mug. Walking to the sink, the man rinsed the cup out and placed it in the sink. "You remember what I was like after we lost your mother?" Jeff was looking out the window just above the sink and out over the Pacific Ocean. He didn't wait for an answer but continued on. "Losing her was like having a hole punched in my gut. I survived, but only barely. The thought of losing any one of you boys is ten times worse. I don't know if I could move past having to bury one of you."

"You don't know that, Dad."

"Damn it, John. I almost lost you. I almost lost Alan!"

John looked taken aback. He'd never heard his father swear before. What did his father mean? Of course, the spaceman knew he'd nearly lost his life on Thunderbird 5. And that his father and three of his brothers had almost died up there too. Maybe that was what Jeff had meant. It couldn't be anything else, unless... the Hood tried to do something in the Bank of London? No. That wasn't it because those that were in the vault had filled in the others as to what had happened. Nothing had happened to Alan, other than the fact he'd saved the Hood from falling to his death.

"But you didn't, Dad. We're still here."

"For which I am entirely grateful. It's going to take a while to get over last week's events though. For all of us." Jeff turned to face his second born and gave him a watery smile. "I'm going to do some work in my office. Will you be fine?"

John laughed tightly. Neither man was really up to a lot of mirth. "Yeah. I think I'm going to start on my next book."