So, I heard the song 'Already Gone' by Kelly Clarkson and I just had to write a songfic about it. I might decide to write a song fic for the same song for all three CSI franchises, but no promises. I feel so evil to Katrina right now, but her relationship with Ryan seemed to be the most perfect. So, enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own it.
0-0-0-0
Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories they're haunted
Katrina Martinez packed the last of her clothes into her suitcase, closing the lid with a loud snap that seemed to echo throughout the empty apartment.
She looked around, making sure that nothing else was left behind. The bedroom was barren, except for the empty bed and a barren dresser. Katrina noticed a piece of paper tucked into the corner and moved towards it.
When she was close enough, she realised it was a picture of her and Ryan Wolfe, her boyfriend – no, ex-boyfriend. They were at the beach and Ryan had picked her up in his arms unexpectedly, carrying her bridal style. Her hair was loose around her shoulders and her smile was so wide, it looked like it was going to split her face in half.
Memories flashed in her head. Their first date, their first fight, their first 'I'm sorry' and everything in between.
They had looked so happy then. They wouldn't have expected for them to end up like they were now.
We were always meant to say goodbye
In the back of their minds, perhaps they knew they weren't meant to last. That they simply weren't meant to have the happy ending.
Even with our fists held high
It never would've worked out right
Despite that, what they had had felt so good. To them, it was something worth fighting for.
Even if they knew they just weren't meant to be.
I didn't want us to burn out
Things hadn't been working out so well for them. Their conflicting shifts and lack of communication was slowly tearing them apart. It hadn't helped that they were fighting over things that were so small, but had seemed pretty big at the time.
Katrina knew they couldn't keep on going this way. She didn't want either of them to wake up one day and realise that they had wasted so much time on something that would have never worked out.
I didn't come here to hold you, now I can't stop
When she started working at the Miami Dade crime lab, she hadn't expected to find him. she hadn't expected anything much at all. She just expected to get crazy work hours, maybe an injury or two.
She didn't expect to start caring for a co-worker so much, let alone the one co-worker who seemed to fight her on everything.
The moment she did, she couldn't stop.
I want you to know that it doesn't matter
Where we take this road someone's gotta go
Looking down at the picture, she contemplated taking the picture with her before leaving it on the dresser. She didn't need to rub salt onto the wounds.
She had to let go. Maybe they could have worked out whatever their fight was about – Katrina couldn't even remember what it was about – but she just knew that no matter what they did, it would always end up with someone walking away from their relationship.
And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on so I'm already gone
Taking one last look at the apartment that had been her home for the last few years, she grabbed her carry-on bag and suitcase before closing the door. She brought the bags into the cab and put it in the trunk. She was about to tell the driver to drive to the airport before she remembered something.
As they stopped outside the apartment building, she told the cab driver to wait for a few minutes, promising that she wouldn't take long.
Stopping outside the apartment, she paused for a moment before taking out the keys and opening the door to Ryan's apartment.
The apartment was spotless, due to his OCD. The furniture was modern, but comfortable. She took out an envelope out of her bag, kissed it and placed it on the dining table, leaving the key he had given her on top of the envelope.
Looking at you makes it harder
She got back into the cab and told the cab driver to make his way to the airport.
She knew she was being cowardly, running away without telling him, but if she saw him, she probably wouldn't have been able to leave.
But I know that you'll find another
That doesn't always make you want to cry
She knew he'd be able to find someone else. Someone who could make him happier. Someone who wouldn't upset him so much.
Started with a perfect kiss then we could feel the poison set in
Perfect couldn't keep this love alive
To think that it had all started with a kiss in the break room. A kiss that had simply come from frustration and possibly sexual tension that had been building up for weeks.
Katrina had thought that it was perfect and that was when she started falling.
She started falling hard for him, and fast. She had gone on dates before Ryan, but she always found herself comparing her dates to Ryan.
They had a long argument about one of her dates, ending in Ryan himself finally asking her out on a date.
She had been shocked, but happy. She had accepted and his response was to kiss the living daylights out of her in the locker room.
Sadly enough, perfect couldn't keep their relationship from falling into shambles. It didn't stop their hearts from breaking
You know that I love you so
I love you enough to let you go
She loved him. She loved him enough to let him go.
Her mother had told her when she was a little girl, "If you love them, let them go. If they never come back, they were never yours in the first place."
I want you to know that it doesn't matter
Where we take this road someone's gotta go
And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on so I'm already gone
"Miss, we're here," the cab driver informed her, breaking her out of her thoughts. She paid him and took her bags out of the trunk, making her way into the airport.
You're doing this so Ryan can move on, she told herself, but it still didn't make the ache in her heart lessen, nor prevent the tears from gathering at the back of her eyes.
As she heard her flight being called, she glanced back at the entrance of the airport. She shook her head at herself, firmly telling herself that he wouldn't come. He didn't even know she was leaving.
Still, she couldn't stop herself from looking back one last time before boarding the plane to New York and a new life.
"Goodbye Ryan," she whispered as a single tear ran down her cheek. "I love you."
I'm already gone, already gone
You can't make it feel right when you know that it's wrong
I'm already gone, already gone
There's no moving on so I'm already gone
Ryan Wolfe walked into the Miami Dade crime lab feeling unsettled. He had tried calling Katrina, but she wasn't answering her home phone and when he called her cell, it went straight to voicemail.
He wanted to apologize for all those horrible things he said to her. True, she had said some pretty nasty things to him too, but he had gone too far. Seeing those tears in her beautiful green eyes that he had caused made him want to kick himself. He couldn't even remember what the fight was about.
She had tearfully told him that it was over, so he decided he would give her some time alone. He hadn't seen her for a whole week and he had to admit to himself that it was quite odd, considering the fact that they did work together.
He saw Calleigh Duquesne and decided to ask her where Katrina was. If anybody would know, it would be Calleigh. Calleigh was Katrina's best friend at the lab and they told each other everything.
"Calleigh!" Ryan called out, and the petite blonde turned, a smile on her face.
"Hello Ryan," she greeted.
"Calleigh, have you seen Katrina anywhere?"
Calleigh eyes widened. "She didn't tell you?"
Ryan looked at her quizzically. "Tell me what?"
"She asked Horatio for a transfer. She's flying off to New York today. Her flight leaves at eleven," Calleigh informed him.
Ryan paled. New York?
He looked at his watch. Ten forty-five. Could he make it?
He was going to try anyway.
He ran out of the lab, nearly running into Natalia as he left. If he hurried, he might be able to catch her before she left.
Already gone, already gone, already gone
Already gone, already gone, already gone, yeah
He had just parked his car and barely remembered to lock it before rushing into the departure area of the airport. He went straight to the information counter.
"When does the flight to New York leave?" he asked the woman.
"I'm sorry, sir. The flight left five minutes ago," the woman informed him.
His world stopped for a moment.
She was gone.
He was too late.
She was gone.
Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye
He made his way home. He couldn't believe she had just left without telling him.
As he walked into his apartment, he realized something was out of place. He noticed something on his dining table that he was pretty sure wasn't there when he left for work that morning.
It was an envelope with a key on top of it. He saw his name written at the front of the envelope and recognized the handwriting immediately.
With shaky hands, he opened the envelope and read the letter inside. The letter slipped out of his hand as soon as he finished reading it.
He couldn't believe he had let her slip from her fingers that easily.
He had let the woman he loved out of his grasp and he didn't think he could ever get her back.
I want you to know that it doesn't matter
Where we take this road someone's gotta go
And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on so I'm already gone
I'm already gone, already gone
You can't make it feel right when you know that it's wrong
I'm already gone, already gone
There's no moving on so I'm already gone
Dear Ryan,
By the time you get this, I'll probably be on my way to New York. I wish I had the courage to at least say goodbye to you face to face, but I know if I did, I probably wouldn't be able to leave.
I just wanted to tell you that I love you so much, and that's why I wanted to – no, needed to go. I think it's best if I left. You and me… we just weren't meant to be. I know that, and I think you know that too. I don't know how long I'll be gone. Maybe for a while. Maybe for good.
I might be wrong, I might not. I don't know. All I do know is that I love you. I love you enough that I had to let you go. It would be best for the both of us if you moved on. You'll probably be happier. Just know that I did this because I didn't want to hurt you anymore.
Take care of yourself, Ryan and don't be too hard on yourself.
Love,
Katrina
0-0-0-0
Awww… poor Katrina and Ryan… well, tell me what you think and if you would like to read more of Katrina and Ryan.
Please, please, please review!
~Alex