A/N: I decided to try my hand at a crack!fic. I hope it turns out okay, I've never really done this before. Also: during the chapter, guess the different things outside of the Narnia fandom that I'm refering to.

Enjoy

"AHHHHH!" I yelled, charging the smirking blond. He stepped aside lightly, only infuriating me more.

"You will pay, Peter!" I screamed, running at him again. With an impatient gesture, Peter grabbed my hair. "Ow, ow, ow!" I whimpered.

"Edmund. What exactly is this in aid of?" Peter asked calmly. I gave him my best glare.

He didn't even bat an eyelash. Frustrated, I tried again.

"Aaargh! I don't know," I groaned loudly.

"Edmund," said Peter, now severe, "this can't be good for your public image. Aslan knows it's suffering already."

"WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?" I asked loudly, on the defensive once again. Peter sighed delicately, observing the well-polished fingernails on his free hand.

"Well, as we both know… You aren't quite as popular as I am," he paused for effect, "with the ladies." I turned what must have been an interesting shade of pink.

"I'm not- that is to say- you! There's only one way to settle this. We must consult… Gandalf the Grey." I growled ominously.

"You idiot! He's Gandalf the White now!" Peter slapped me upside the head. I sighed.

"Peter! You just ruined the book for me! I haven't read Return of the King yet!" I complained.

"Oh, shut up. Let's go." He turned to leave.

"Uh, Pete? You've got a fistful of my hair in your hand," I prompted him.

"Right," he said, and let go. We stood there awkwardly. I cleared my throat.

"Off we go, then!" I declared.

We took a moment to steady ourselves, and then, we began to prance about the room squealing, "Floo powder power! Floo powder power!" The world shook, and when we looked up, we were in a large, dimly lit room.

It was then that we saw him…

Gandalf.

We gasped and fell to our knees. His blinding wisdom was… blinding. We could not look at him, but we could not look away. We crouched there for what seemed an eternity (three-point-four seconds) before he spoke.

"Welcome, young sovereigns, to Gandalf's World," he announced gravely. We looked around, noticing for the first time that Gandalf was dressed in shiny, fluorescent clothing.

"Gandalf… What evil is this?" gasped Peter, our argument forgotten. He had noticed the ball reflecting multicolored lights, and the odd, almost painful music in the background.

"It is… the disco." Gandalf struck a pose, and began to dance jerkily, thrusting his digits every which way. Peter and I glanced at each other, terrified beyond measure. The White Witch we had faced, but this? It was far beyond us. We turned to face one another.

"Floo powder power! Floo power power!" we intoned. With an earth-shattering shake, we were back.

"That was unbelievable! Those clothes? So not fashionable. The color made his skin look ashy, and the cut made him look like a spider with two legs," sniffed Peter. I nodded gloomily.

"So much for that," I commented. We both sighed. Peter stood straighter, peering out across a field.

"Ed… that looks like Su and Caspian… Holding hands?" he said, puzzled. I shook my head.

"Can't be, they don't…. Oh my Aslan!" I shrieked, rearing backwards. Peter looked outraged.

"They didn't!" he yelled.

"They did," I confirmed darkly. Together, we ran down the hill, towards the two young people gone wild.

"What do you think you're doing?" Peter roared. The kissing couple leapt apart.

"I don't know…" said Caspian, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Caspian! What happened to your voice?" I asked. His normally crisp voice was changed, uncomfortably Spanish-sounding.

"I don't know…" he repeated.

"And Susan! How dare you?" asked Peter, turning to Susan. She frowned at him.

I suddenly dropped to my knees.

"Everything is wrong! Wrong! WRONG!" I screamed to the endless, hopeless grey sky.

"I don't even have a little crush on him! No attraction whatsoever! No offence," Susan added, turning to Caspian.

"None taken. I don't like you romantically either," Caspian responded.

"Then, who is behind this ridiculous, unbelievable behavior?" asked Peter, stroking his (nonexistent) beard thoughtfully.

"The forces of evil," I said gravely. A loud squealing was heard from behind a copse of trees, totally ruining my dramatic moment.

"Ohmigosh! He is totally hotter than he looks in the movies!"

"I know… Ohmigosh. His hair is sooo amazing!"

Peter puffed out his chest and preened a little. The voices continued.

"And Peter and Caspian are pretty good-looking too, but not as good as…"

"…Edmund."

I grinned. Not popular with the ladies, my sword! Suddenly, two teenage girls burst from the bushes.

"AHHHHHH!" came two screams of adoration. In horror, I turned and ran. They chased me, and I raced even faster.

As I approached the horizon, I called over my shoulder, "Pete! You can have the fangirls! And… call a guard or something!"

Fin

A/N: So... how was it? I referenced Lord of the Rings and A Very Potter Musical.

Also: for anyone who is reading The Lady MarySue, I have a chapter in the making. It is coming along, hopefully it'll be up in the next couple of days.

Thanks for reading! :)