After a hard day and many victims Erin feels sad and alone. Will Halstead succeed in comforting his partner?
Note: My English still sucks and I probably did a bad job in translating my story from German into English. If anyone is able to speak both languages and wants to read it in german and possibly help me to translate with further stories please let me know :)
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"May I come in?"
Erin just opened the door and froze when she recognized Halstead looking at her in concern. Her eyes were red from crying while she looked as pale as a wall.
She didn't get the chance to deny. He already walked into her apartment.
They just looked at each other in silence while her eyes started to fill with tears again.
"Did Voight send you as a babysitter?"
Jay shook his head.
"I'm sorry Erin. It wasn't your fault."
It didn't need more words to get flash backs while she challenged the same nightmare again.
It didn't feel like it happened six hours ago. Two children were killed in front of her, before she had to murder and pulled the trigger of her own gun to prevent further action. For a minute she felt like being back at the scene. She didn't cry a single tear at the old warehouse. Normally she wasn't the type of losing it but now she reached the point of a breakdown.
"Erin."
She bit her lips while turning around. She tried to focus on the table but lost it because she couldn't see clear further.
With Jay touching her shoulder she wasn't able to handle it anymore. Suddenly she started to shake like hell.
Halstead just embraced her before she could sink to the ground. A few seconds later and her knees would have given up.
"Shhhh…It's okay. I'm here."
He rocked her gently and held her tight. Still whispering in comfort he tried to soothe a sobbing Erin Lindsay.
"You're gonna be okay, Erin. You did the right thing."
He slowly stroked her hair.
Even 10 minutes later they still sat in the same position. Erin was exhausted from crying and still pulled in a deep hug.
"Things will never be like this before. And you know this Halstead."
It didn't make it hurt any less.
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Finally it took her two hours for recovering. Erin was sitting next to Jay on the couch, still in shock and not able to talk about what happened before.
Just a weak light from her desk filled the room.
It was Halstead who finally whispered the first words. He raised his voice, while he talked with a sad look. His hand still wrapped around Erins.
"I was a soldier in Afghanistan when I drove in a convoy as bombs exploded around us. First it felt like rockets blasting off and at it was like warm water flowing over my face until I recognized that it was blood. Everything was silent. I reached for my comrades when I grabbed a leg. It was some part of a body. I thought it was all but then I realized things being more badly than I assumed before. His face was perished and his arms were completely gone. Like two others. I was just able to speak with Jordan, one of my best friends. He reached in his pocket, real slow and took some kind of a mojo out, which he handled to me. A few seconds later he was dead."
Jays voice was still shaky. He was barely able to speak.
"I'm sorry", Lindsay whispered while her thumb gently touched the skin of his forehead.
"The thing is that I still got flashbacks in my head. Every time someone gives a barbecue party I smell the flesh and everything comes back to my mind. But what I mean is…Most important was to talk about it. So I did and went to Veteran meetings, some stuff like this. You`re the first who knows about it. And to be honest. It wasn't the only reason why I left the army."
Lindsay looked at him in confusion, not sure what he meant.
"I was twenty when I went to Iraq. During my first week I've seen a kid getting a gun shot in the head. One of my comrades accidently failed and hit her instead of someone else. She was around 5. She just died in my arms. "
Erin looked at him with wide eyes.
"The reason I came is… I just wanted you to know that I'm still here for you, because the things which happened today still remind me of this little girl. After Afghanistan it was too much to see."
Erin couldn't hold back the tears, even if she cried in sympathy.
She gently grabbed Halstead to give him a long hug, even if he didn't flinch. He was like frozen. Completely numb.
"Why does it hit me so hard? I mean, I've seen a lot of people being shot or dead and it never hurts me the way it did right now", Erin asked him after a long silence.
"Well, probably because they were kids. Just very young, innocent. Sometimes you reach the point where you`ve just seen too much."
"Don't tell Voight. Promise me that", she begged him while she gently grabbed his hand.
He nodded in silence, gently stroking her cheek. He already wanted to leave when she started to speak.
"Halstead? Waite. I got one request."
"What is it?"
She wasn't able to look him in the eyes.
"Stay the night. After today I…."
Silently he walked back into the room, gently took her hand.
"I'm not going anywhere, Erin. I'm not going anywhere."