A/N: My thumbdrive got spoilt, and with it went all my 12 half-written fanfics. ): I came up with this while I was staring at the comp screen with nothing to do.

Disclaimer: If I owned Bleach, Ukitake would have a lot more screen time and a pairing!!

"Pachinko-head-chaaan!" Yachiru called as she leapt from wall to wall, espying Ikakku sitting alone in a deserted corner.

He looked up. Crap! He quickly shoved the book he was writing in into his robes and assumed a bored expression, quite obviously trying to appear as innocent as possible.

"Panchinko-head! What were you writing? And why'd you hide that book away?" Yachiru had caught up to him, and now had a questioning look on her face…albeit a rather sly one.

Ikakku scowled menacingly. "Stop calling me that!" He didn't take kindly to anyone who made fun of his hair, or lack thereof (not to mention that he was pointedly ignoring her rank). "And who said I was even writing anything? You see any book around? You must've been hallucinating."

She grinned widely in response, not fooled. "Lying is bad, Panchi-chan…Always tell the truth!" Ikakku rolled his eyes in exasperation. Honestly, what was her problem? Why couldn't she just leave him alone? Then he could get back to his writing…

He was so engrossed in his internal ranting that he almost didn't have time to dodge backwards when Yachiru leapt up from the ground, her intended destination being his chest. "Leave me alone, dammit!"

"No way!" Undaunted, she continued her conquest for the hidden object. Ikakku cursed inwardly as she chased after him, fervently praying for someone to rescue him from this idiotic situation. His wish was granted.

"Oi, Yachiru. Whadcha doing?"

It was Zaraki. "Taichou!" Ikakku exclaimed, glad to be freed from his dilemma.

"Ken-chan, Panchiko-head was writing something, but he doesn't wanna let me see!" pouted Yachiru. Zaraki grunted, clearly uninterested.

"Whatever. The Captain and Vice-Captain meetings are gonna start. Hurry up."

Yachiru looked crestfallen, but did not persist. She ran after her Taichou, who was already walking away, and hopped onto his back. Then she turned back and giggled mischievously (sadistically, more like, thought Ikakku). "I'll get you next time!" she called over shoulder.

Ikakku watched their retreating backs until they were out of sight, then heaved a sigh of relief. "What a bloody close call," he muttered to himself. Heaven knows what would've ensued had she been successful. Her big mouth would be sure to inform each and every Shinigami in Seireitei of the diary's contents, and he could kiss goodbye his reputation – forever.

With that, he stomped off towards his room. With luck, it would be an hour and a half before there was any danger of her disturbance again.

A/N: Soo...what Dirty Little Secrets is Ikakku hiding? Read on and find out! Oh, and reviews are always appreciated. :)