Title: Bless The Broken Road
Author: DizzyDrea
Summary: This was why he didn't look back. Moments like this.
Rating: T
Spoilers: Season Four's "Window of Opportnity"
Author's notes: Another in an apparently continuing series of reflections on key moments in series history. This one was inspired by the song "Bless The Broken Road" by Rascal Flatts. It's a slightly different take on the song, but entirely appropriate for the episode.
Disclaimer: Stargate and all its particulars is the property of MGM, Gekko, Double Secret, Acme Shark and a lot of other people who aren't me. I am doing this for fun and for practice. Mostly for fun.
Author's Note 4/13/11: This was written several years ago, when I was in the process of watching all the DVDs (for the first time). This is one of my favorite episodes, mostly because of the humor involved. And since I've been in a Stargate mood lately, I thought I'd post this one. It's a little bit more hopeful than the last one I wrote, thankfully. Enjoy!
~&O&~
"You seem inordinately pleased with yourself, sir," Major Samantha Carter said as she eyed her companion, seated across from her.
Colonel Jack O'Neill had been sporting the same goofy grin ever since they'd finally ended the time looping a day earlier. The team had decided, after returning from P4X-639, that a team night was in order. So they had all trooped down to O'Malley's for some beer and pool. Jack and Teal'c looked especially relieved to have finally left what they had affectionately dubbed "Groundhog Day" behind.
But that still didn't explain the look on his face.
"Do I?" he asked. He hadn't realized he'd been smiling, but looking back, he'd been doing a lot of that over the last day or so. He could pass it off as just being glad that the time looping was finally over, but he knew that wasn't it. The memory of kissing Sam in the control room unspooled in his mind once more, and his face took on the look of wistful memory as he smiled at his own audacity.
They were sitting at a table, just the two of them, watching their teammate Daniel Jackson teach Teal'c the finer points of pool. Sam had already beaten Jack—twice, much to his chagrin—and he had finally begged off before he risked losing his manhood altogether. Now, though, Daniel appeared in jeopardy of losing his, as Teal'c's game seemed to have mysteriously improved.
"Just what did happen while you two were time-looping?" she asked, narrowing her eyes suspiciously.
Jack smiled again and waved his hand offhandedly. "Oh, you know, a little bit of this, a little bit of that. Learning Ancient, a little golf, pottery," he listed casually.
Sam's eyes widened. "Pottery?" she asked in disbelief.
"I had to do something to break the monotony," he said in self defense. "I don't think I ever want to go through that again."
"I guess I can understand why Malikai did it, though," she said.
"He didn't think it through," Jack observed, cringing slightly. He took a sip of his beer, thinking back to the moment when he'd seen the man finally give up.
"You seemed to know," she returned without thinking.
"Yeah," he said quietly. "I know."
Her eyes grew wide again. "I'm sorry, sir," she stammered an apology. "I didn't even think about—"
"It's okay, Carter," he said. "We never really did talk about this, did we?"
"No, we didn't," she said, shaking her head.
Her blonde hair caught the lights, and for a moment, Jack thought she looked like an angel with a halo. This was why he didn't look back. Moments like this, he thought. When he could sit quietly with someone he cared about and just enjoy the moment. Losing his son had been the hardest thing he'd ever gone through, but he had made it through. And now, he was a better man for it. Slightly damaged, but he wouldn't go back and change it, even if he could.
"When I lost Charlie," he began, coming out of his thoughts, "I thought my world had come to an end. And I blamed myself. That's why Sara left, you know," he said, tossing a sidelong glance at Sam. "She didn't blame me, but she couldn't help me get over my own guilt."
He paused, and Sam stayed still and quiet, hoping he'd continue. She craved these unguarded moments, when he would let down the walls and show her the real Jack O'Neill. He didn't do it often, but she felt privileged to be among those he felt comfortable doing it with.
Jack sighed and took another sip of his beer. "Then I met Daniel." He paused again, and the memory drew a smile on his face. "He was young and idealistic. And annoying as hell. But he was also full of hope, and it was contagious."
"Daniel says you were different after that mission," she said. The two of them had talked about the Colonel, as much as Daniel felt he could share without breaking a confidence. It had helped her to understand him as a man as much as she did as a commander.
"Yeah, I guess I was more at peace," he said. "I'll never get over what happened, but I've made my peace with it. And that road led me to you," he said, looking up at Sam, and then over at Daniel and Teal'c, still playing pool. "I've made some good friends since then, so I don't think I would want to go back and relive it all, because things might not turn out the same."
"Thank you, sir," Sam said, choking up a little at the sentiment, her heart warming in her chest. She knew he wasn't only talking about her, but it still felt good to know that he didn't regret the things in his life that had brought him to this moment in time.
"Don't thank me just yet," he admonished. "I might still annoy you to death."
Sam chuckled and shook her head. "I promise not to let that happen," she told him.
"Just as long as we don't get stuck in another time loop," he pleaded. "I think I can handle anything except that."
His smile was back, the goofy one he'd been wearing off and on for the last 24 hours or so.
"Are you ever going to tell me what happened that's got you smiling like an idiot?"
Jack's smile got even wider. "Ask me again someday," he replied as he winked at her.
Sam just stared at him. Something definitely happened, and she was fairly certain by now that it involved her, but she also knew he wasn't going to tell her tonight. That was fine. She could wait. Eventually, she'd get it out of him.
Taking a long last gulp of his beer, he stood up. "What do you say we go teach Danny and Teal'c how it's done?"
As he walked away from the table, Jack could almost see the steam coming out of her ears. He'd left her wondering what he'd done during the time loops, and he knew she wouldn't let it go. In fact he was counting on it. Someday, he wanted to replay that scene in the control room, only this time, he wanted her to remember kissing him like he'd always remember kissing her.
His smile got even bigger as he noticed Sam come up beside him, sauntering towards the pool table, a look of determination on her face. Oh, he was going to enjoy this, far too much, he thought. But this road was one he would enjoy traveling on.
~Finis