The Not-So-God Complex

by Jesse Wales

"So, yes, he does have a complex, but it isn't godly. He wonders if it even has a name. Does he suffer from it alone? That stupid word! Oh, how he hates it and hates being it, suffering in the dark, his dark, alone, such a mad man who isn't a hero or a God." Might be a series of brief drabbles. I don't know.

1. The Not-So-God Complex

Chapter 1: The Not-So-God Complex

Some believe he has a case of "The God Complex." But, he doesn't really. He's no God. He doesn't want to be a God.

He's no hero, but he wants them to believe that.

He can't always save the day, but he needs them them to think that he will.

He doesn't want them to wake up one day and realize that he really is just a "Mad Man with a Box."

He doesn't want them to know he needs them, because he can't see it anymore. He's too old. He has seen too much. But they can see. And when they see it, sometimes... he can too.

He needs someone to impress, someone to awe and amaze. He saves the day because they expect him to. He's really just a man with a sonic toy and traveling machine, but to them, he's a cosmic genius.

He wants someone who will stay and travel, despite the dangers and scares. The ones with the unending fascination and curiosity he doesn't have anymore, because if they grow up... when they grow up, they leave, and he's alone again. And it's oh, so lonely when one's alone. Once they leave, he's not the clever hero anymore, just the "Clever Mad Man with the Blue Box that's BIGGER on the Inside... Who's Alone."

And he is mad, and he does have a box, but they don't know that. He doesn't want them to ever think that. He dislikes being alone. He's dangerous that way... with no one by his side to stop him or hold him back. He's vengeful, and he hates it, so he tries to never be unaccompanied. He can't be stopped without his companions. He doesn't want to be alone.

And he doesn't want to be a God, definitely not a lonely God, oh so sad and alone. He wants to be what they want him to be, though he isn't. It's better than being left behind on his own, fighting off himself.

So, yes, he does have a complex, but it isn't godly. He wonders if it even has a name. Does he suffer from it alone? That stupid word! Oh, how he hates it and hates being it, suffering in the dark, his dark, alone, such a mad man who isn't a hero or a God. Just a clever thief, who's mad and stole a box to run away and to run to with no home to go to.

A "Homeless, Dangerous, Clever, Run Away, Run To, Lonely, Old, Mad Thief, Who's Not a Hero or a God with a Sonic Toy and Traveling Blue Police Box that's Bigger on the Inside and Hates Being Alone, Yet Always Manages to be So, Unable to See It and Keep Them, Because They Grow Up and Leave Him Alone... Again... Even Though He Needs Them Because of This Complex of His That He Just Can't Shake."

Nothing more, nothing less.

But they don't know that. He doesn't want them to EVER know that. Because once they do...