Clever People
Clara was dozing in the TARDIS.
She'd come aboard expecting an intergalactic sight-seeing trip, or an adventure... Or both. But as soon as they had taken off, something had sparked in the TARDIS console and the Doctor had shut everything down to find and fix the source of the problem.
She'd hung around, watching him for a while. She'd tried to make conversation a couple of times but had received only grunts in return. The Doctor was deep in TARDIS-Fixing Mode and there was no telling how long it would be before he emerged again.
So Clara had wandered around the control room, skimming through the books on the shelves.
Several of them were from different libraries, with both Earth and alien civilizations apparently represented. She pitied anyone who had made the fatal mistake of giving the Doctor a library card... She wasn't even entirely convinced he understood what the word "borrow" actually meant.
Eventually, she had curled up in one of the chairs and fallen asleep. It had been a long day at work and her life was very full at the moment.
Clara dreamed. She dreamed about her class, and monsters, and Danny Pink... She dreamed about her parents and shopping for clothes and Doctors with different faces, running, always running...
The Doctor looked up at her as she awoke, an odd half-smile on his face.
"You were dreaming," he stated. "Tell me, what does Clara Oswald dream about?"
"How did you know I was dreaming?" she asked, honestly curious.
"Oh, uh. I heard you," the Doctor smirked.
"Was I talking in my sleep? Hope I didn't say anything embarrassing..." She thought back to the Danny Pink parts of her dream, slightly worried now.
"No, no you didn't say anything." The Doctor looked very proud of himself, delighted with how confused she was by this conversation. He pointed to her head and then to his. "I heard you." He grinned as she finally understood him.
"You heard me?" Clara asked incredulously. "You heard me dreaming..." She laughed. Some days she was pretty sure the Doctor was just magic. No science necessary.
"Yeah."
"How?"
"Ooh... Because I'm very clever," he said glibly, avoiding her gaze. "You have to be very clever to hear dreams, Clara."
Clara moved down the stairs to the main floor. "So did you enjoy that then, snooping on my dreams?"
"Hey, you're the one who had to be so loud," the Doctor said. "Maybe dream more quietly next time."
"Well," Clara retorted, "I can't exactly control that, so maybe you should invest in some telepathic earplugs."
"Oh, those exist, actually," the Doctor informed her.
"Do they?" Of course they did.
"Yes, a race called the Throxiforins," he explained. "They don't have any mental indoor voices. Just shouting, all the time."
Wonder what that's like... Clara thought amusedly.
"Well, maybe pick up a pair of those," she hinted. "Because I'm not sure how I feel about you listening in on my dreams every time I take a nap."
"Oh don't worry, I wouldn't judge!" he assured her. His tone very much assumed there would be something worthy of judgment.
"Definitely not what I was worried about," Clara told him pointedly. Sometimes this Doctor needed a less-than-gentle reminder about social boundaries. Apparently that also extended to eavesdropping on people's dreams.
He frowned briefly, not totally understanding and seemingly aware that he was missing something. "Fine, I'll try to block you out in the future. But," he pointed at her, "then don't blame me if a dream parasite locks onto you and there's no one there to save you."
Dream parasites? That sounded nasty.
"Hang on..." Clara suddenly realized. "Can you hear everyone's dreams then?" He avoided her, suddenly running to the other side of the Console on the pretense of pushing some buttons. She followed him. "And what about when I'm awake? Do you just walk around constantly listening in on everybody's thoughts all the time? That's a bit intrusive..."
"No, of course not! It's just..." he faltered.
"Just what?" Clara prompted.
"Just well, just people I have a connection with." He shrugged defensively, poking at the console, eyes looking everywhere except her face.
"Oh." Well, that was kind of nice, actually. "So you're just sort of, checking up on me."
"Yeah, but... Not consciously though!" He gave her a shifty look. "Most of the time." he added under his breath.
"Ok," Clara decided. "I think I can live with that."
"Yeah?" He gave her a look, unsure, hopeful. Despite the gray hair this Doctor sometimes struck Clara as far younger than the last.
"Yeah," she said, shoving into him gently with her shoulder. She would rather have hugged him but knew he was a bit more hands-off nowadays. "Someone's got to protect me from those dream parasites."
"They're crabs," he responded, clearly uncomfortable with Clara's level of affection.
"What?" Clara asked, nonplussed.
"The dream parasites. Well, one type. They look a bit like... Big crabs." He made a claw with his hand, then abruptly lunged it towards her face. Clara jerked her head out of the way.
"And do they crawl around on beaches made of sleep sand?" she joked.
The Doctor gave her a baffled look. "No! Of course not. That would be ridiculous. Sleep sand's a completely different... Honestly, Clara, sometimes I try to teach you something and - I'm not even sure you're taking this seriously!"
Clara could sense a rant coming on and decided that discretion was the better part of valor. "So you fixed the TARDIS?"
"Oh! Yes, old girl just wanted a bit of attention, that's all." Rant forgotten, he patted the Console lovingly.
"So where are we going?" Clara asked, eyes shining with anticipation.
"Well, where would you like to go?" the Doctor asked, quietly but equally enthusiastic.
"Somewhere... Awesome," Clara decreed.
The Doctor grinned. A grin somehow so different from all his past lives and yet always exactly the same. "Awesome," he promised.
...
(Somewhere else. A couple thousand years earlier, relatively speaking...)
Theta was asleep. He knew he was dreaming... But that didn't make the nightmare any less terrifying.
People he'd known whose faces kept shifting...
Friends and family suddenly trying to kill him...
Over and over, ad infinitum...
"Theta."
Theta woke to see Kossei standing over him in the dark. He looked tired and cranky.
"Sorry..." Theta said, realizing he must have been talking in his sleep. "I was having a nightmare."
"Yeah..." Kossei said, deadpan. "I gathered that." He looked at Theta, forehead knit with concern. "You've been having a lot of nightmares lately."
Theta avoided his gaze, shrugging. He knew the reasons for his nightmares and he suspected Kossei did as well.
A few weeks ago Kossei had gone through an emergency offworld regeneration. It... Hadn't gone well. Kossei had experienced pretty much every regeneration side effect in the book. He'd even tried to kill Theta, then had followed up on that by almost dying himself.
Kossei was fine now, fully recovered. Better than ever, even - his words. But that terror still clung in the corners of Theta's brain, waiting to crawl out while he slept. In fact, he hadn't had a good night's sleep since they had come home to Gallifrey.
But it was fine, he didn't sleep much anyway...
"I could help you with that, you know." Kossei offered. He looked troubled, almost guilty.
"No..." Theta declined. "No thanks. I'll be fine."
"Alright, but..." Kossei almost seemed to reconsider finishing his sentence but then did anyway. "You keep waking me up though."
It was Theta's turn to look guilty. "Sorry." He was surprised he'd been loud enough to wake his friend. Kossei usually slept pretty soundly.
"No, it's ok but..." Kossei clasped his hands together, almost apologetic to be bringing this up. "I'm so tired, Theta. I need to sleep."
"I know," Theta said. Kossei had always needed more sleep than Theta. And he got very irritable when someone woke him up. He was actually being extremely kind about the current situation. This new Kossei was sometimes unexpectedly thoughtful... To Theta, anyway. To everyone else, not so much. Regeneration had pushed some aspects of his character to extremes.
"You're sure I can't help you?" Kossei clearly thought he had all the answers, as always.
"No..." Theta said again. "No, I'll figure it out myself.
Kossei sighed wearily. "Alright then... Let me know if you change your mind, I guess."
"Thanks, Kossei."
"Anytime. You know where to find me," he joked, acknowledging the fact that they were literally confined under house arrest together.
They both went back to bed.
The nightmares started up again, right where they had left off.
Theta couldn't run...
The ground was falling away beneath him...
His friends were all enemies with murder in their eyes...
He was alone...
A hand slipped into his.
He wasn't alone, someone had his back...
He knew it was Kossei.
The nightmare didn't go away. Deferring to his friend's request, Kossei didn't interfere. But he was there... Just there so Theta wouldn't have to be alone.
That small piece of safety helped Theta to turn the tide of the dream. Having that one friend empowered him, made him feel as if he could fight back. It gave him a chance.
Theta finally got a decent few hours of sleep.
He woke to see Kossei sitting on the floor, head leaned back to rest on Theta's bed, fast asleep. His hand was still holding onto Theta's.
Theta didn't wake him.
The nightmares started to get less frequent after that. And for the next several years, anytime Theta had a nightmare, Kossei would show up in the dream, silently supportive.
Every single time, without fail.
Theta felt bad that he was disrupting his friend's sleep so much but was deeply grateful to not have to fight his psychic battles alone. Sometimes, after a particularly bad night, Theta would wake to find Kossei curled up on the floor next to his bed like a guard dog. Jealous, possessive. Protecting him against dangers real and imaginary.
They never discussed any of this, of course. Though Theta was mildly surprised that he'd developed this new habit of talking so loudly in his sleep.
It wasn't until many, many years later that Theta realized the truth: that he hadn't been talking in his sleep, of course. Had probably never even made a sound.
That, in fact, his nightmares had been telepathically "loud" enough to wake his friend from slumber, repeatedly.
That Kossei always knew when he was having a nightmare.
Theta was aware, of course, that he and Kossei had a telepathic connection, forged when they had first met. They could often discern each other's thoughts, but for Kossei to be woken, alerted every time Theta was afraid... That was a whole other level.
Theta hadn't known that was even possible. Time Lords were telepathic but it was a mostly passive ability in the general populace.
He should have guessed, though... This was Kossei after all. Passive was hardly the right word to describe him.
Regardless, Kossei could certainly have chosen to block out his friend's psychic cries for help. Instead, he had chosen the exact opposite route.
As they both grew older and their telepathic senses become less instinctive, more controlled, that link dulled a bit. But once Theta understood how strong their link had initially been, he had to wonder how deliberate that psychic attunement had been, at least on Kossei's part. And the more Theta learned about telepathic connections the more he questioned just how much Kossei must have known about what he was thinking.
How much he might still know...
How closely Kossei must have been paying attention to him at all times.
He wanted to ask. There were days when he nearly did.
But as curious as he was, he always kept his questions to himself.
The answers wouldn't change anything, not really.
Theta knew he should have found this mental surveillance invasive, upsetting even.
And had it been anyone else, he probably would have... But Kossei was his best friend and Kossei showed he cared with actions, not words. With grand overzealous gestures which he subsequently refused to discuss.
It was one of Kossei's odd quirks that the smaller the favor the more recognition he expected for it. But when he did something truly remarkable for Theta, he seemed almost embarrassed by any mention of it.
Kossei's version of friendship had always been fairly unique.
He wasn't exactly good with the day-to-day requirements of friendship... He tended to forget the needs of others more often than not. Sometimes even including Theta.
Theta had learned to live with this, had simply accepted that Kossei just wasn't good with small gestures. That was really more Theta's department, anyway.
So for Kossei to spend that much time and attention, routinely… To choose to lose sleep rather than to leave his best friend alone and scared... To always be checking in mentally, making sure Theta was ok...
To never once explain or ask for thanks...
Far from being disturbing, it was actually, oddly, tremendously touching.
Small gestures on a grand scale.
The Kossei version of how Theta expressed friendship.
Theta thought about all of this long after he stopped being Theta Sigma.
The years went on and he forged new friendships and new connections. But he always remembered that feeling of having a friend to support you, of learning how important that simple gesture could be. He thought about his first friend as he tried to learn to support his new friends.
No one ever asked him how he knew what it was like to be scared and alone.
No one ever asked who had been a there for him when he had felt that way.
No one asked, and he never talked about it.
But he never forgot.
And as the centuries went on, he tried to learn to be kind, to speak what he was feeling.
But on the days when he couldn't manage that, he chose to follow his first friend's example: Using actions instead of words to show how much he cared.
Because at the end of the day, friendship was about so much more than just words.
The End