Jeb:
The thinnest, brightest silver heartbeat
fast as a bird's wing
steadier than I'd ever been
The sky spinning on a slow axle
identical shade of water-blue to your eyes and
it wasn't a lie when I said
I'd never looked so closely at anyone before
I counted the increments of your pulse
where it beat soft against my hand
and thought you would never stop laughing
I thought it would be possible for me to keep you mine
and hoped you would pardon me that blunder
because I knew
better than anyone
that nothing, nothing ever stays
with me.
Reilly:
Rejection tasted so bitter
but I couldn't spit out the taste
of you in my mouth
lingering unwanted,
now discarded.
I wished you a happy future
with all the good will I had left:
I am, I think,
more bitter
than you know.
But I meant it --
I meant it with what humanity I had left.
I was afraid of my future -- for yours,
(close as the pulse beneath skin
I resigned myself never to touch)
I wished you joy.
Roland:
It was
effortless
being with you -- you were
grounded
my certainty and my strength.
I could depend on you
because you were determined
not to fail again
and I could have told you
you never failed in the first place
but
there were some truths I couldn't get you to hear
and that was one.