You really want to know what happens after you return from the games, Sweetheart?
Most would say that there is a certain… sparkle that surrounds being a hunger games champion. You get the recognition, the glory, the feeling of saving your community just for a little bit; Just for a moment.
I can say that there is no sparkle, but a blur. Now, the blur may be from me being constantly drunk, but a little alcohol now and then won't hurt anyone. What one can't see can't hurt them. What one can remember can kill them.
I must say, the memories are what have followed me all these years. The memories are especially present at this time of the year: The reaping. The time of the year when a monster like me has to send unknowing souls like you into what I see as my memories.
I have contemplated suicide many times since I returned. I mean, at first it was marvelous, but then it all started to wear off. I was sent into a downward spiral of memories. I was sent into my own personal hell.
What is life worth when you have nothing left? Every single year I drink my life away, and send two kids just like you, with little to no chance of returning, to the hell I suffered.
You know sweetheart, there is something different about you. Something different surrounds you. You see, I want you to come back. Heck, I really do. But I don't want you to return to this. To the circle I'm caught up in.
You've got a long road ahead of you sweetheart. Just do what I say, and listen. We will deal with the memories when you return.