Ever since she began working for SHIELD (i.e. knew so much classified information that they had to either hire or kill her) Darcy's life had been weird. Originally she had worked in the PR department, which was less 'public relations' and more 'the public don't know we exist, keep it that way' and 'for the select politicians/military morons who know we exist, keep them out of our hair'. That job was never boring, involved not a small amount of subterfuge and on one occasion, yelling at the secretary of state.
Then knowing Thor and having impressed Fury with the aforementioned yelling came back to bite Darcy in the ass and her life, which she had thought was weird already got weirder. Despite being wholly unqualified, apparently Darcy had the 'exact skill set, Agent Lewis' to 'look after' the Avengers – in other words make sure that they kept out of trouble while off duty and try to prevent them from driving their ever-changing handlers up the proverbial wall. Darcy's apartment was packed up and her stuff dumped at Stark Tower and she was thrust among its inhabitants of which Thor, the demi god from another world was the second most normal.
Darcy loves the team in the same way a mother lion loves her cubs; fiercely. She is totally prepared to open a can of bureaucratic/tasering whoop ass on those who suggest they should be kept in a government facility somewhere and are a danger to society. However, half her time is spent beating them around the head with her paw (hand/tablet/piece of paper/potted plant) and making sure they aren't killed (metaphorically) by the press/politicians/commentators who want to be politicians but are too crazy to ever get into office even in the Bible belt.
In summary, Darcy's life is weird and stressful. That is why her Saturday routine is a precious, precious thing and those who attempt to fuck with it will be summarily executed with extreme prejudice. She's done SHIELD training; don't think she can't follow that threat through.
Once upon a time, Saturday was shopping day. B.A (before Avengers) it was her day to do grocery shopping but since she lives in Stark Tower there's no need. Now at twelve o'clock, Darcy will head out and pick up anything she needs that Tony doesn't import in or just window shop. Then by 2PM she's entering the 'Gadbery Family Book and Stationary Emporium' which is essentially what would happen if heaven were tailored specifically to Darcy's needs. A basement and two floors full of ceiling high book shelves, a café with mismatched sofas, chairs and desks, and then a floor with the nicest paper, notebooks, and pens you will ever lay eyes on.
Straight away, Darcy heads to the 'New Arrivals' shelves, then to the 'Politics and Philosophy' section, and if she likes something she buys it. Afterwards she heads up to the cafe, orders a super strong caramel latte and commanders an armchair. With her latte by her side, Darcy pulls out her tablet and goes through news websites and blogs (everything is helpfully arranged beforehand by JARVIS), analysing and making mental notes for things she finds amusing or particularly stupid, and making a physical note of things that could even peripherally relate to the Avengers.
To some this would sound like work, but it isn't. Darcy got into the habit when she was in college (yes Tony/Bruce/scientific community at large, political science involves analysis too) and kept it up after she graduated. It's a way for her to take stock of the world, to remind herself there is in fact a world outside of her little bubble.
Fine, she'll admit it; it's relaxing even when she reads so called 'political commentators' and wants to gouge their eyes out. (Don't look at Darcy like that; look at what the team do to relax. She's normal by comparison).
She's stays until four thirty, then makes the twenty five minute walk back to the tower and mentally prepares to deal with whatever chaos has erupted in her absence.
They are all older than me. My job should in no way be able to be described as 'babysitting'.
It's her routine and it keeps her sane.
The first change is Jane. Darcy physically bumps into her at ten to two in front of a department store. Jane (against Darcy's internal pleading) tags along with Darcy to the bookshop. She makes her usual rounds of the shelves, and then goes upstairs. Jane finds her about ten minutes later.
"Darcy, you would not believe the rubbish they are putting in the Physics study aids-"
"You mean besides high school level physics?"
"The explanation of the life cycle of a star is basic and incomplete."
" .physics, Jane. Why don't you pick something out, grab a coffee and forget all us mortals who don't appreciate physics like you do," Darcy suggests sweetly. She is my best friend. I will not hurt her.
Jane is about to argue when Darcy adds, "One more word and I will start talking politics Jane. I swear I will even throw in the words 'cover up', 'agenda' and 'economic policy' don't think I won't."
Suitably chastened, Jane disappears for half an hour, long enough that Darcy thinks that maybe she's been a bit rude. She's about to call Jane when the scientist returns clutching Batman comics.
"You went to buy comics?"
"There's a store two blocks away," Jane answers cheerfully, settling into an armchair.
Darcy gapes for a moment, "You were gone for half an hour." Jane responds with a look, because comics are SERIOUS BUISNESS, Darcy.
After that Darcy barely notices that Jane is there. Occasionally she glances up to see the scientist curled up in an armchair giving Bruce Wayne the same attention she would an experiment. It's insanely adorable.
Jane becomes a semi regular feature of Darcy's Saturdays from then on, appearing around three with a stack of newly purchased comic books. Darcy accepts this change, firstly because she's nowhere near mean enough to chase her away and secondly because she's impressed that Jane is actually leaving the Tower.
Gadbery's hosts a poetry reading in the middle of June and Darcy tags along to show support and score some free food. Pepper Potts walks into the door the same time she does. As it turns out, Pepper's bi-weekly evening board meetings are just weekly, and she spends Thursday nights book shopping. "If Tony ever showed up here," Pepper confesses, "I'd have to kill him."
Darcy doesn't know how the hell it happens (it certainly wasn't her idea) but Pepper becomes a part of her Saturday ritual as well. By the time Darcy appears, Pepper is already there sipping a mango smoothie and lost in whatever thriller she's reading that week. She and Darcy share a nod and go about their reading. When Jane skips in an hour later the nod is repeated.
Natasha on the other hand, is Darcy's idea. If all the other girls in the group have a kind of secret-meeting-thing going on, then it's only fair to involve her.
"Is it a 'girl talk' thing?" The assassin asks disgustedly.
"Nope," replies Darcy, only mildly offended, "It's a 'Darcy gets a heads up on the world of politics (and is totally not working), Jane reads comic books and drinks too many mochas and Pepper reads her thrillers without having to listen to Tony's comments' thing."
Two weeks later, Natasha meets Darcy on the way in, a cloth book bag on her shoulder. After greeting Pepper, Natasha pulls out a beat up copy of 'The Silmarillion'. Darcy can't help but remark, "You read Tolkien?"
Natasha taps the wrinkled cover with one finger, "Re-reading."
What even is my life?
Having the three of them there becomes completely normal. After two months, Darcy knows that while reading Jane has 'feels' that sometimes cannot be contained (not even by the threat of an angry Russian assassin), that Pepper is a speed reader of the highest calibre and that Natasha (despite what she protests) is not immune from the dreaded curse of 'feels' when it comes to Lúthien and Beren (which is to say she blinks more than is usual).
Unsurprisingly, it is Natasha who comes up with 'The Rules.'
"I need these few hours for my mental health. They will be protected," she informs them one Saturday at 4:15. Darcy agrees, Saturday afternoons in the bookshop are sacred. Thus they come up with 'The Rules'.
The first rule of reading group, do not talk about reading group.
The second rule of reading group; do NOT talk about reading group. Seriously.
In all communication reading group shall be referred to as 'The Fellowship' and Gadberys as 'Rivendell' even via e-mail or text message. Tony Stark can and will hack anything capable of carrying information.
Conversation does not begin until 4:00 PM.
No one is to mention anything relating to the Avengers, SHEILD, Stark Industries, or the team. Rivendell is a 'safe' zone and shall remain so.
Jane is to be cut off after three mochas, no matter how hard she begs.
Darcy is to play her iPod at an acceptable volume.
Natasha is not allowed to judge others by their reading material, even if they are 'doing it wrong'.
Nor is Natasha allowed to 'educate' anyone who besmirches Tolkien's apparently holy name. Especially if that person is Pepper.
Pepper's three phones and two beepers are not to enter the premises. She can bring one phone in case the stock market crashes or something equally uninteresting happens; on the condition that it remains on vibrate.
DO NOT, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, LET THE TEAM FIND OUT THEY WILL RUIN EVERYTHING. (ref. rules 1, 2 and 3)
The new routine is different, but Darcy prefers it. It's nice to remember that other people find their lives weird and stressful too, so why not chill together? Although the four of them being absent at the same time raises questions, it also makes it much easier to ensure the whole thing goes off without a hitch. They have increasingly hilarious cover stories, a sofa, two arm chairs and a table reserved (the owners prefer that to Pepper intimidating anyone who was in 'their spot' when she arrived), and have created secret food code to be used before four o'clock. Hot chocolate fudge cake means 'someone has been a dick to you this week, we can make it better'. If someone (usually Darcy or Pepper) has had a stressful few days, espressos appear. After Darcy and Bruce get together (the group consensus is; finally) she is presented with vanilla cheesecake which forever after means, "Hell yeah, you got some." If the week involved world saving, incredible amounts of money being earned, re-writing the laws of physics or particularly successful manipulation of world politicians and media, they break out the pain au chocolats and buy one of each flavour of muffin.
Nothing but nothing gets in the way of Saturday afternoons. Someone has to leave? The other three wait until they come back. Someone has to go to a meeting with Fury? Fury is told where exactly to go by Pepper or Jane (because he has no power over their pay checks, lucky, lucky people, nor can he deploy them to Antarctica). Someone's ill? They can lie on the sofa and Darcy will pick up soup on the way. Some tries to rob Gadbery's? Natasha will kick most of the ass, Darcy will kick the rest (thank you, mandatory training and hellish bootcamp), Pepper will evacuate the civilians and Jane…will keep reading even as Natasha tosses an unconscious thief onto the table in front of her.
As Darcy has said, Saturdays are sacred.