A very short drabble on Light's thoughts about L's death. Written for the 5, 10, 20, 50, 75, 100 Fandoms challenge by Shermione. Enjoy an review! ^_^
Alright, I'll be honest. I miss him. He was the only one who challenge me intellectually. He was the only one who was able to see through my façade, knew I wasn't who I pretended to be. And the best part was, there wasn't a single thing he could do about it.
Proof doesn't consist of being so overly intelligent you can tell where someone has been in the last 24 hours from a ruffle on their tie or how many pets someone owns from the kind of jeans they where, like he seemed to do. I was careful, clever, covered my tracks well. Seeing as I used a Death Note, there really weren't many tracks to cover. He had absolutely no proof unless he could get his hands on the notebook, and even then he couldn't prove it. So I wrote the names of the people who died in the notebook in the same order they died. It could easily be explained away as simply keeping track, even with the instructions on the back. And even if they didn't buy that excuse, how could they prove that by writing they're names down, I killed them? They couldn't, because it's not of this world. It was so much fun to toy with him, knowing that because of this, he could do nothing. He was trapped.
There's another part of me though, a part that I hate and wished would go away, that genuinely liked him. How? I don't understand it. He was annoying, didn't care about anything but cases that he thought were interesting, didn't seem to understand how emotion worked and was extremely self confident. All in all, not a very likable person. But he was exactly like me, wasn't he? I'm all of those things, no matter how much I loathe to admit it I am. I'm exactly like him. And maybe that's why I really miss him, not because I can't play with him, make him run through a maze like a lab mouse anymore. Because he really was my friend.
God I hate myself right now. He's my enemy. I spent so long trying to get rid of him, I'm not going to start feeling guilty now. He had to go. He was in the way. He was trying to stop me. I'm doing the right thing here, I know I am. I can't get attached to people like him, or people in general. I have to stay aloof, have to realize that no matter who they are to me, bad people have to die. Criminals and people who oppose me - basically the same thing - have to go no matter who they are. Otherwise, how will I achieve this perfect world, one free from crime and hate? I won't, plain and simple. No. More. Attachment.
That's it, I'm done thinking about L. I'm never going back to this line of thought. I need to stop questioning my own motives or I'll start running in circles. Back to pretending to hunt for myself now, before I think something else dangerous.