" I can't believe I'm doing this. It's ridiculous."
" Oh, stop complaining!"
It started out as a simple bet. Just one itty-bitty little bet. With two BIG problems. The first problem, that Black*Star was the one who made the bet. The OTHER problem, was that Stein had accepted. He couldn't even remember why he had. All he knew, was that he did.
" Students, remember that we have a test on Monday, on Soul Resonance. Make sure you're prepared." Stein remembered saying, exactly one week ago from today. It had been an uneventful, normal day, with no students out from the Crescent Moon class at Shibusen. Even Kid was present, and on time, for once. Although, that was because Patty and Liz had dragged him out of bed. He had refused to wake up until eight, which wasn't really new.
The students chattered, of course, about the test. As he sat down in front of the podium, pen in hand, he heard someone, fairly recognizable, shout " Yahoo! I'm gonna ace this test!" The teacher shook his head, smiling faintly. Black*Star and his ego. He glanced up at the clock, and then back down at the papers he had to grade. Only five minutes left. Then, the school day would be over, and he could go meet with Lord Death to brief him on his work, and leave.
" No you won't, Black*Star. You never do." Death The Kid said, keeping his eyes on his sketching paper. If one more, asymmetrical wrinkle showed up on his paper, he swore, he was going to faint. He had already flattened it eight times over. " He could if he tried," Tsubaki said, smiling gently. " Really, really, REALLY hard," Liz completed the weapon's sentence, while looking over her filed nails. Now, to paint them. " Yay! Black*Star's gonna try really hard!" Patty clapped, then went back to coloring on the homework for that night. Soul peered over her shoulder, watching as she drew the weirdest bear-hippo-crocodile-stair thing he had ever seen. " Meh. It's uncool to ACE a test. Get a B+."
" I doubt he can even get that," Ox and Maka said, almost at the same time. They glared at each other, then went back to reading. " He's not smart enough," The almost bald meister muttered, after a long pause in the conversation. " Not smart enough? He's not smart at all. He's the embodiment of stupid." Maka flipped through her book, then set it down. " It'd be a miracle if he even got an E."
" Maka, he could do it if he tried!" Tsubaki protested in defense of her meister. " Tsubaki, you know he can't," Kid nodded his head, satisfied with his paper. He now went to looking over the homework for the night.
" Whatever. THIS shining star's gonna ace it. Then, I'll surpass the gods!"
The usual. Stein turned the screw through his head a few times, and kept grading. Just two more minutes left. " W-well... I bet he could do it..." Stein heard from the small group. It was Crona speaking now, probably being forced into answering a question. " HAHA! I told you I can! And I will! You'll all bow before me! BOW!"
" Oh, shattup. Even I get better grades than you, and I can't even read!" came the slightly raspy voice of the Demon Sword, Ragnarok. " That's because I do all your work..." Crona muttered, gripping his right arm tightly with the left. " You shattup too! No one asked you, now did they?" Black*Star, having bored of asking his group of friends, as well as the two siamese weapon and meister, had gotten out of his seat. " Hey, Professor Stein! How'd I do on today's stuff? Did I ace it? With flying colors?"
" Of course, Black*Star. You did so well, it hurt my eyes, and I 'accidentally' put an F," Stein adjusted his glasses, and smiled a bit at his sarcasm. " Well, fix it! I don't want a failing grade for being so awesome." The professor stood up straight, towering over the egoistic student, wearing a poker face expression. " Black*Star, not only did you fail your work today, unsurprisingly, but you also failed to recognize sarcasm." He shook his head, and walked back around to the tan desk, to put the papers down.
" That doesn't matter! Because I'M going to ACE this test!" Black*Star burst into a fit of laughing, although no one seemed to notice. Stein couldn't help but roll his eyes. " Black*Star, can't you ever actually TRY to ace a test, instead of puffing yourself up about tests, and then going on about how it wasn't challenging enough, if you failed it?" The shorter, younger meister folded his arms across his chest, taking it immediately as...
" Are you challenging the great Black*Star? Are you... CHALLENGING...ME? HAHAHA!"
Stein heard the flurry of papers, students, and other unidentifiable substances as the bell finally rang. The Professor sighed, and turned to his desk. " Black*Star! Hurry up, or we'll start the game without you!" Soul shouted, baring his sharp teeth in a grin. " Coming Soul! Gimmie a sec', I just have to handle this non-believer!" The white-haired weapon and his, ahem, flat chested meister walked out of the room, leaving Stein and Black*Star alone, locked in a deadly gaze.
" I'm GOING to BEAT this test of yours," the assassin meister confirmed. The older meister just shook his head. " I wish that I could believe that. And yet I can already imagine it... F. F-. Maybe even a Z." Stein turned the screw on his head. He sighed. " Look, Black*Star, I have to go work on an experiment, so please, just go."
Black*Star scratched his blue hair. If Stein didn't believe him, now was the perfect time to humiliate him! He would outshine all their expectations, and Stein would feel so awful, and then he'd just HAVE to accept him at their new god! But, what should he do? Hmmm..." I know! A bet. That's what we need. A BET! Looser has to strip dance in front of ALL of Shibusen!"
It took a while for Stein to realize what Black*Star just said. " What? No. That's ridiculous. You know, Lord Death does NOT condone nude students, as I'm sure you've learned." He shuffled the papers on his desk again, and picked up the keys to the room. Black*Star stood in his way. " No way, Professor. You know you want to! I know! If I lose, meaning I DON'T get a B, then you get to dissect this star for a WHOLE week straight. No protests!"
" No... protests?"
It WAS tempting. Very tempting, in fact. He had only been offered this kind of chance once, and it had been a fairly stupid bet that, unfortunately, no one took very seriously. Hmm... Pride, or Dissection. Pride...or Dissection... If he took it, he'd get dissection, and loose some pride in betting with a student. Or... If he took Pride, he'd keep his dignity, but pass up a willing specimen, offering himself for a week. Such a hard decision.
Dissection it was.
" Deal, Black*Star. No backing out?"
" No backing out for sure! You have this star's promise!" The two meisters shook hands on it. " You better not chicken out," Stein said, wearing a gleeful expression, one so bizarre to his face. " Or I'll come and pluck you out for dissection." Black*Star laughed loudly. " And if you chicken out, I'll tell everyone what I saw in your window last night!"
Stein's face suddenly gained a serious look to it. " What?"
" Hahahahaha! I'm going to WIN THIS BET! YAHOO!"
–-
The week went by, and all of Shibusen was bustling about the news. Professor Stein had ACTUALLY bet with a student. And, obviously, that was none other than Black*Star.. Even Lord Death was surprised. " Is it true, Stein?" He asked, his childish voice full of curiosity. Stein casually brushed his shoulder. " Yeah. Although, I'm sure I'm going to win. Black*Star hasn't ever passed a test that wasn't physical." " So, Stein! What exactly WAS the bet?" An eager, and also equally curious death scythe popped up from the guillotine hallway to Lord Death's mirror. He brushed some red hair behind an ear.
" Oh, nothing really," The Professor adjusted his glasses, and smiled. " We just made a friendly bet. There's no dangerous consequences." Of course, both he and Black*Star had stayed quiet about the punishment after loosing. Stein knew no one would approve of it, even if Black*Star DID win. Which, he wouldn't. Just the thought of cutting into the student's skin made him giddy.
" C'mon Stein! Stop being so bashful about it!" Marie grinned. She was also excited. Maybe they had bet dates. She could imagine what had gone down. Black*Star said that winner got to go out with Marie, looser, had to do something stupid. She almost swooned. Maybe he would actually start to see her for how beautiful she was. " I'm not being bashful," he replied. " We just bet money. That's all."
Spirit laughed, and Marie sighed like her heart had just shattered into tiny little pieces. " You bet money! You should've bet something a little more valuable! Like Marie or something!"
" Nonsense. I'd have to bet her houseplant AND her, to equal the value of a few quarters."
Marie stomped. " Well! So THAT'S how you feel, huh! Well then! You're trash to me too!" Stein laughed. " Marie, I was kidding. I wasn't serious about that. Well, not about you, anyway. That houseplant, on the other hand..." Lord Death laughed as Stein and Marie started to argue about the importance of a houseplant. " I do wonder who's going to win the bet, though. Stein seems relaxed about it. What about Black*Star, though?" The Death Scythe walked from the guillotine hall to his lord. " Justin says Black*Star. Says he's been studying like crazy. Everyone else says Stein. Even Blaire."
" Blaire?"
" Maka's pet cat. The magic one."
" oohh.."
With the students, everyone was bombarding Black*Star with questions. " Why'd you do it? You're gonna loose," Kid said, smiling and adjusting Patty's hat. " YAY! Black*Star's gonna loose! Black*Star's gonna loose!" Liz sighed, and covered her third nail with a light red polish. " I feel bad for you, Tsubaki. Everyone's going to laugh." Maka patted her friend on the shoulder. " It's okay! We won't laugh. Right Liz and Patty?" The Thomson sisters looked at each other, then at Maka, then back at each other. " Tch," was Liz's reply, while the younger sister Thomson nodded quickly, smiling and laughing.
" He's not going to fail," Tsubaki said confidently. " He's been studying for hours. The moment our Basketball game was over, we went home, and he started reading the textbook!"
" I'm pretty surprised that Stein actually accepted," Ox said, walking by. " I thought he was too smart to stoop down to that idiot's level." He grinned at Maka, who ignored him. " Well, Tsubaki's right! I'm gonna win this bet! In fact, let's hold a celebration party in MY honor when I win!" Black*Star beat his hand against his chest. " Don't get do excited yet," Soul said, baring his teeth in a smile. " You don't ever know who's gonna win. Kinda hoping it's you though. That could be cool." Kid scoffed, and started to scratch his head. " Patty! You just RUINED my patchwork! It's asymmetrical now! Ngggh.."
" Calm down, Kid. It's just a hat."
" JUST A HAT! WHAT DO YOU MEAN, JUST A HAT! IT NEEDS TO LOOK PERFECTLY SYMMETRICAL IN RELATION TO YOURS! BUTNOW IT'S TRASH. TRASH! ASYMMETRICAL TRASH!"
*THUD*
Crona, who had just walked up with Kallik, Fire, and Thunder, stepped carefully over Kid's body. " H...Hey guys. What are we talking about?" " What do you mean? You don't know?" Soul stood up straight, and arched his back in a yawn, as Maka went to go help Patty and Liz revive the shinigami. " No... Well, sort of. Ragnarok said that Black*Star challenged Stein. But, I don't believe him."
" Why not?" asked Maka, fanning Kid with her hand. " It's true."
" Well," The Demon Sword butted in. " I crammed Peanut Butter in his ear right after I told him." Kallik sighed. " Actually, we just came back from helping him get it all out. " The twins started conversing with themselves excitedly. " Fire wants to know what you're gonna do if you win." Black*Star struck a pose, arm pointed to the sky. " I shall ascend to godhood, and throw a party, right here, at Shibusen, JUST so that you all see how awesome and godly and bright I am! I've even got Tsubaki working on the posters!"
" Well, actually, I just started,and I think we need to ask Lord Dea-"
" C'mon, Tsubaki! No time! You need to spread the word, and I need to keep on training!" Black*Star let out a loud " Yahoooo!" before grabbing his weapon's wrist, and running. Maka sighed. " Poor girl. She's never gonna live this down..."
–
It was, THE day. Monday. The day of the test. Everyone had just finished, and anticipation filled the room. Fingers were tapping nervously on the desks. Kid twirled a pencil around on his desk. Black*Star slept, and Tsubaki drew small flowers on her scrap paper. Crona was also asleep, and Ragnarok made faces at anyone who dared to look at him for too long. Maka and Ox both read books, and the rest of the students were just tense. They would finally see who had one the bet.
Even Stein was tense. He wasn't grading the tests himself. He let Sid grade them, since he was " an honest man." Outside of the room, visiting Death Scythes, and most staff were at the door of class Crescent Moon, looking curiously through the windows. " Can't see!" Marie shouted, as she jumped up and down from behind everyone, blonde hair bobbing. " Hold still, and maybe you will!" Spirit shushed her, a finger to his lips. Of course, from his position, he couldn't really see anything. But, he could care less about the whole subject. He had a perfect view of what he wanted to see.
" Makaaaaaaa~ She looks so cute reading in class!"
" SHHH!"
" Excuse me. Coming through. I have the test results, " came the voice of the zombie entrusted with the grading, Sid. Suddenly, everyone rushed from the door, to him. " Who won?" Came one voice. " Was it Stein? I can't see!" came another, most likely Marie's. " Move it, everyone. I promised Stein I wouldn't tell. Because that's the kind of man I was. Let me through."
" Maka got a 99%~ Maka, I'm so proud!"
" Shut up, Spirit. That's not what we're worried about right now!"
Sid had quite a bit of trouble getting past the Death Scythes and others in the hallway, but he finally managed it, after a push from Justin law from behind. " Now now, everyone. Stein will tell you all about it once he looks over the scores. For now, just let me get through, so he doesn't shoot the messenger!" He went through the door, and slammed it closed. Everyone turned to Justin, who had a smug grin on his face. " What is it?" Asked Spirit. " Did you see it? Who won?" Marie asked..
Justin kept on grinning, and made no effort to reply. Pleased with what he had seen on the result paper, he walked away quietly, to go report to Lord Death. Meanwhile, in the classroom, a similar reaction was going on through the room. " Students, quiet down... Quiet down..." Stein couldn't even bring himself to look at the paper Sid held in his blue hand. He was actually nervous. What if he had actually lost?
" Sid's going to read the results, from bottom, to top. Please, stay in your seats."
Tsubaki nudged Black*Star. " Wake up! The results are in!" " Hnn... What? Did I win?" Maka shushed him. " Not yet," Kid whispered. " He's reading from the bottom up. Reverse alphabetical order. I just realized the word alphabetical has a symmetrical number of letters." Patty and Liz continued with what they were doing, and Crona sat up straight. Everyone was attentive now. Stein cranked his screw backwards a bit, to ease the nervous tension building up. He just needed to relax. As the grades were read off, he couldn't help but get even more nervous than ever.
" Crona Gorgon, 87%"
Everybody leaned forward. Someone actually fell out of their chair. Even Kid, who had acted as uninterested as he could, was leaning ever so slightly.
" Black*Star..."
Stein started to turn his screw even faster. Relax... Relax... Relax...He kept telling himself. Sid left a long enough dramatic pause for Stein to light himself a cigarette. " Black*Star got..."
" Get on with it!" Marie shouted from the other side of the door, earning her a few slaps, and one kick.
" Black*Star got 98%."
Time froze, but Stein continued to spin the screw, until he thought his brain would explode. " Repeat that?" Everyone asked, almost simultaneously. No one believed what he said, save for Black*Star, who had jumped up onto the desk in front of him. " YAHOOOOOO! I WIN! I WIN! IN YO FACE, STEIN! HAHAHAHAHAHA!" Tsubaki started to clap.
" I repeat, Black*Star got a 98% on his test."
" That can't be right. There's a fluke. A BIG fluke. Let me see that." Stein spun his rolling chair over, and snatched the paper from the zombie's hands. " …" he stared intently at the paper, eyes wide with horror. Black*Star had ACTUALLY done it. Which means... Which means...Stein's hands trembled as he lifted the paper to his face. "..."
" STEIN LOST!" Kid shouted, flailing his hand at him. " You DISGUST ME! I can't believe you lost!" Most of the class stared on, with a dumbfounded expression. " Cool," Soul said. "You actually did better than me. I'm surprised." " YAY! Black*Star actually did something good with his worthless self!" Patty clapped. Liz's jaw dropped.
" What's going on?" Marie asked, trying to get a better glimpse. It was Justin, who stood in her way now, with an extremely smug grin. " Black*Star's standing on his desk, shouting abut something," Spirit replied. Even Lord Death had come down to see what all the excitement was about. " Hmm..that doesn't look like an unhappy, Black*Star, now does it?" He tapped his mask questioningly. " So... that means..." Spirit burst into laughter. So did the rest of the Death Scythes, save for Marie, who was just feeling awful.
Shortly after, Black*Star asked if he could use the upper room they had used for Shibusen's anniversary, for his big partly. And, since Lord Death only saw the playfulness of where this could go, he obliged. So, for the next two days, all the students got some of their best outfits ready, and everyone planned. Kid dealt with the decorations, while Maka, Tsubaki, and Soul made invitations. Marie distracted Patty and Crona. And, of course, Black*Star was in charge of the food and entertainment. But, during those days, Stein and Liz vanished from sight.
And, That's the events that led up to the beginning quotes.
" I can't believe this is what happened if you lost the bet," Liz said in disgust. She couldn't even bring herself to turn around and look at her shameful Professor. She heard him shuffling around behind her nervously. " I swear, I will never live this down. Not even my madness sprees have ever been this bad..." Stein spun the screw on his head. " Stop complaining already! You said you'd do it!" Black*Star said, shielding his eyes as well. This was going to be the BEST prank ever. No one would of have seen it coming. No one could compare to his intellect! He was just so genius!
" Black*Star, you know I'm going to fail you after this."
" Hahaha! You can't do THAT! Or I'll tell everyone what I saw you and Spirit doing in the class after-" Black*Star was silenced by both a disgusted look from Liz, and an angered look from the scientist. " Careful. You're in between a rock and a hard place," Stein warned, adjusting his glasses. " Oh yeah! One more thing! Strippers don't wear glasses!" Black*Star snapped, and Liz groaned. " Sorry, but I''m just gonna take these..." Liz removed the wiry glasses, and handed them to Black*Star. " Now go get ready! Do you remember the routine?"
" Unfortunately..."
Meanwhile, everyone was enjoying themselves as much as they could. Soul and Ragnarok had eaten more than they probably should've, and Crona ended up with a really bad stomach ache. " Thanks, Ragnarok..." he said quietly. " Quiet. You...ugh...liked the food too!" Ragnarok replied, laying lazily on his meister's head. Maka just hit Soul repeatedly with the book she had brought along, in case she bored herself.
" Where's Black*Star? Is he running this whole thing?" Kid walked up, calmly, with Liz and Patty behind him. They were all dressed as fancy as they could possible dress (save for Patty. She had crayon stains on the bottom of her dress). " I think," Ox replied. " I'm worried about Prof. Stein's sanity now, though, He hasn't shown up for two days straight. Not even Marie has seen him."
" He's fine. Black*Star's been visiting him," Tsubaki smiled. For once, people weren't making fun of her OR Black*Star. If only he acted this smart everyday.
" Hey everybody! Take your seats! I, the BIG Black*Star, has a VERY BIG announcement!" The blue haired meister tapped at the microphone in his hand. " Helloo! This thing on?" Everyone turned their attention to the stage, save for Spirit, who was chatting it up with two ladies. " First of all, give a BIG round of applause to the awesome, godly meister, ME! Appreciate just how awesome I am!" Maka and Tsubaki just looked at each other, quietly, and started to clap, slowly. Kid, Lord Death, and Patty joined in, and soon enough, everyone was clapping (although, not too enthusiastically, since most of the meisters were worried about puffing up Black*Star's ego too much for his own good).
" Aw, that was weak. But, that's not important! Neither is your enjoyment of this party, because I KNOW you're enjoying it!" Black*Star struck a pose, trying to make himself look as amazing as he thought he was. " Alright, so, Me and Liz have been working up a storm on tonight's entertainment, so give it up for Liz Thompson!" The egoistic meister pointed at Kid's tall weapon, and everyone erupted into applause. " Didn't know you helped," Crona said, softly. " I wish I didn't," she replied, filing her nails with the basic Excalibur Face expression. She did NOT like where this was going at ALL.
" I hope you get expelled," she mouthed to the boy on the stage.
" I know you love me," he mouthed back, beating on his chest in pride. He OBVIOUSLY didn't understand what she said. Turning back to the crowd, he frowned. " Oh, come on. You give her a better round of applause than me? The new god! How pathetic!" Black*Star wrinkled his nose. Tsubaki stood up from her seat at the table. " C'mon, guys! He for once, got a really good grade. He deserves more applause, don't you think?"
Reluctantly, the entire room began to clap again, louder than before. " Thank you, thank you!" Black*Star bowed, and gave Tsubaki a thumbs up. " Okay, now, tonight, we have a special guest who's gonna dance for everyone! Are you ready?" Maka and Soul looked at each other, in confusion. " Since when could Shibusen afford a dancer?"Kallik popped up in between the meister and weapon. " Dunno," Ragnarok butted in as well. " But, as long as we don't have to pay, I'm good."
" I said, ARE YOU READY!"
Most of the students cheered. They were expecting Black*Star to have hired a really famous dancer, considering how puffed up he was about his celebration. Tsubaki raised her eyebrow. " Liz, who's the dancer?... Liz?" The Shadow weapon turned her head to the left, and to the right. " Patty, where's your sister?" The blonde girl grinned, a ditzy expression on her face. She had juice spilled all over her dress, and Kid was, once again, freaking out about it.
" She said she wasn't feeling good, and went to the bathroom. Too bad she's gonna miss the dancer!"
The lights dimmed, and Black*Star grinned. " Alright, when you're ready. Which is now!"
" I'm not-"
" GO!"
The music started, and Stein was pushed up on stage, face aglow. I'm gonna die, right here, right now. He started his dance, swaying his hips a bit to the tune of the music. Everyone in the crowd was completely horrified. " Hey, if I didn't know better, I'd say that's..." Soul trailed off, and covered his eyes. " Oh jeez, that is so uncool." Spirit looked up, long enough to see who was on stage, then looked back down. Suddenly realizing the guest dancer, he looked up, and started laughing.
As the beat picked up, Stein began to remove his coat, which brought a cry of disgust from most of the students. He was lacking in a shirt, pants...and pretty much anything even SLIGHTLY decent. Ragnarok, who was shoveling as much food as he could fit into his pie hole, dropped everything in hand (and mouth), and stared. " OH MY FU-" He was cutoff by Crona, who slammed his head into the table. " I thought this was a rated K+ fiction!" He covered his face with his hands, embarrassed.
" Oh my-" Tsubaki's face turned a whole new shade of red, one that she didn't even think existed. What was Black*Star thinking! Maka couldn't even speak. She was just so disturbed at the sight of her teacher in nothing but sewn up high heels, and a black garter belt, that she just couldn't find anything to say. She could see Black*Star, laughing his ass off on the side of the stage, as Stein's dance gt a bit too innapropriate to be described with words. " Oh dear. I probably should have seen this coming," The shinigami in the back of the room sighed, putting a white hand to his face, shielding his eyes from the tragedy that unraveled before him. " Lord Death, should we-" Justin Law grimaced at the sight, and covered his eyes as well.
Spirit kept on laughing. " Hey ladies. Go encourage him! Here's some twenties," he couldn't even keep a straight face as he handed the two women beside him money to throw at Stein. Marie, face red, slipped her phone out from her purse, and set it to camrecord mode. This was so amusing, even if it was super humiliating to the poor professor.
The scientist muttered under his breath, eying his students carefully. He could see Death The Kid, nose bleeding on the floor, Patty giggling like the idiot she was. And Soul, puking. He felt so awful, he just wanted to dissappear. It didn't help that he could see Medusa the snake witch and his sworn enemy, staring through the window, with Eruka the frog witch and Free the immortal wolf man behind her, snickering and pointing. The scientist made no sound, as the song ended, and he walked slowly off stage.
" HAHAHAHAHAHA! Well, that ends Black*Star's awesome party!" the meister could barely keep himself contained at the looks on everyone's faces. It was hilarious. Crona looked up, and screamed shouted. " I'm gonna have nightmares! I can't deal with it!"
–
Needless to say, Stein did not return to work, for a whole month after this event. And, he didn't speak to anyone until after a week of being back. Everyone, except for Liz, Black*Star, Spirit, and Marie had forgotten most of the events the night of that party. To this day, if you look on Marie's phone, you'll find the clip.
But don't tell Stein. He might go dissect you if you bring it up.
