There were so many close-calls, so many missteps. Living with Kazahaya had never been easy, so why should he be surprised that sex had gotten this complicated? They were both boys, young men; they both had some idea of how it was done. But everytime he got maddeningly close, he stepped back, snapped back, and Rikuo was left with empty hands and a growing sense of frustration. Urgency.
By the tenth or twelfth time, he didn't keep quiet, let out out a huff of hot breath. Bit back a curse. "Why do you keep doing this?"
He could see Kazahaya backpedaling, taken aback that he hadn't smirked and slid away. And maybe he'd regret it later on, for not leaving when he still had some dignity, but for now all he could feel was this throbbing nerve and the desire for some kind of change.
"I...what?" There was a tremendous blink. "Why do I keep doing this," Kazahaya repeated slowly, and Rikuo could see the temper start to flare up again in those pale eyes, in the growing furrow of that pale brow. "You practically pin me to the door and...and...touch..."
He shook his head, but not quickly enough. The nerve had been struck.
"And you ask me what I'm doing? Getting the hell away from you, obviously! It's the same old thing, isn't it? You're just bothering me by getting too close to me, and—"
"Except it doesn't bother you." Rikuo interrupted him, shifting one step forward, in a move that was neither seductive nor aggressive. It was pure physics: exerting an equal and opposite force.
"If it had, you wouldn't let me get closer like this." Predictably, the other boy bristled, made as if to speak, and Rikuo silenced him again, "—no, not just now." He altered his direction, spinning away to pace, feeling the weight of the other boy's wariness. "Not just this time. Every time. Every single time I try to get close, you let me, just a little, before doing something stupid."
And like a steady cadence to match his footsteps: "Over and over again. It's so pointless."
"If it's pointless, then why don't you leave me alone!" Kazahaya's voice cracked raw on the last syllable.
"Is that what you really want?" He didn't want to turn around, not just yet.
"Yes. Just... leave me alone."
He let Kazahaya have the last word, for once.
Author's Note: I'm not really sure what this is — but I do know it's a WIP that's been languishing on my hard-drive since 2006 or so? I figured I'd dust it off and post it in celebration of LD's rebirth as D&D. Not sure if I will be continuing it, but I hope you liked it nonetheless.
Disclaimer: The whole lot of it is CLAMP's intellectual property; I'm just a fan who will be funneling money into their pockets by buying this reboot and the repackaged versions of the first three volumes.