"Hey! It's me, Alice-chan! I'm writing a new story, as you can obviously see, but this will be unlike anything you've ever read before!"
"What? Who the hell are you!" our favorite pink-haired, fire-eating idiot said. No doubt the readers could hear him, right? Oh, yeah, I had some explaining to do, didn't I?
"Natsu, who are you yelling a-" Erza stopped staring at me with her jaw hanging open slightly. Wow, did I look strange or something?
"Erza, close your mouth or bugs will fly in it," I giggled at her. "Oh crap… oh CRAP she's pointing a sword at me!"
"Who are you?" She yelled. Everyone reading obviously know she's yelling, right?
"I, uh, your sword… falls from your hand!" With that the sword dropped to the floor with a resounding clunk.
"Erza's sword just dropped. I'm not the only one who notices that, right? I just made Erza drop her sword… I totally did not think that would work!" Oh my gosh I'm freaking out!
"Who are you talking to?" Natsu asked. You should've seen him. He was scratching his head looking at me like a confused puppy. It was almost too cute.
"The fans," I told him as I used my arms to gesture to the sky. You guys aren't dead, you're just… everywhere.
Natsu and Erza looked at me like I was crazy. I was very much enjoying this. I was never going to regret doing this ever!
"I'm in the middle of an Author's Note. I thought it would be really cool to do one from inside the story."
My eyes widened as I realized that the fans had no idea about that. Dang it! It was supposed to be a surprise!
"Ha, ha! Surprise my lovely readers! Natsu, Erza, say hello!" I growled the last part.
"Hello!" Natsu shouted, looking around wondering if he could actually see the readers.
"Hello, readers," Erza said acting proper but still very Erza-like.
"Now, if you'll excuse me…. uh, I'm gonna see if this works just one more time." I'm lying. If it works again, I'll be doing this all day.
"The two guild mates sat on the floor in front of her. She was there, the Author." The two mages sat on the floor in front of me. It worked. I can't believe it! This has got to be the best day ever!
"Readers, as you can see, it is I, Alice Harkey, trying to bring you another story. But, ohmygosh! I can control the characters by telling them what to do. Maybe it's because I'm a fanfiction writer and this is supposed to be my story. Man, I love being a writer!" I said to all the readers. "I sound like I'm talking to myself when I'm standing here in the guild… that's… strangely… empty…"
I looked down at the two sitting on the floor. They looked almost horrified. Of course it was probably because someone like me had just rendered them completely useless if anything bad were to happen. If I decided I wanted to destroy the guild, there wouldn't be a thing to stop me.
"I'm not going to destroy anything while I'm here," I explained. Their expressions seemed to relax.
"So, you're a writer?" Erza asked me. I nodded.
"Just like Lucy!" Natsu commented enthusiastically.
"Not quite. I'm from the real world- er… a different world." I pretended to wipe sweat off of my brow. "That was a close one wasn't it? Those two would have tried to kill me if they could," I told the readers.
"What are you saying?" Erza suddenly growled.
"I'm still in the middle of an Author's Note. I'm going to talk to my readers whether you understand what's going on or not. The two Fairy Tail mages decided it was best to stop pestering the poor author with questions," I said resulting in them closing their mouths and glaring at me.
"Get off the computer!" a voice yelled. The sound bounced off of the empty guild's walls.
"What was that?" Natsu asked Erza. I sighed. I never said anything about them asking each other questions.
"That was my mother. She wants me off of the computer. I huffed in annoyance. "See what you guys did? I didn't even get to finish my Author's Note, let alone get to the story!"
The two mages smiled deviously at me and I flashed the same smile right back at them like a mirror.
"Oh, I'll be back. Just you watch, I'll be here again, and I'll get my revenge. I'll get you my pretty, and your little dog too! EEEHEHEHE! Sorry, wrong story."
"Hurry up!" my mother yelled again. I rolled my eyes. How did she even manage to get her voice into the story in the first place?
"Oh, well. I'm sorry I couldn't get to the story, you guys. Maybe next time? Unless you find this more interesting that whatever I was going to do. What do you say, readers? You want me to keep the 'story' like this? If you could review and let me know, I would love you for eternity! 'Types in adorable smiley face'."
Erza and Natsu continued to look at me like I was absolutely insane. I giggled at the expressions on their faces. I really enjoyed doing this and hoped that my fans would enjoy reading the disaster of an Author's Note. Yeah, I'd decided I was going to publish it. I don't' know why, but I figured that, since it was already all there, why not keep it and at least do something with it.
"Oh, yeah, if you guys want me to tell your favorite Fairy Tail guild members anything specific, just let me know and I'll be sure to say it to their face for you. I bet you don't hear that every day, do you?" I laughed. My readers were going to think I was crazy, but I'd told them that before, so why should they be surprised?
"Well, that's all for now. I hope you enjoyed my pointless rambling and all that. Stay tuned for more pointless conversations?" I said saying it as a question. Was that the right way to word it? 'Stay tuned for more pointless conversations', was that how I should word it? I said it as a question because I didn't know.
"Well, bye for now! Farewell from Alice-chan!"