Disclaimer: I wrote this for my Forensic Science class; I do not own any of the names mentioned here.
Not Obvious
Donald Duck and Mickey Mouse were found 'murdered' in the Goofy's living room today. Donald was lying on his back while Mickey was a few inches to his left face down. No fingerprints were found, suggesting that the murderer wore gloves. The couch that was once 5 feet away from the television set was now smashed in, the rug and couch suffered minor electrical burns suggesting the television was on. Feathers and locks of hair in different lengths were strewn about the place suggesting a long struggle. No blood was found on the victims or the surrounding area. Go figure.
Timeless characters as they were, their reported deaths were possibly between 8:30pm and 9:30pm yesterday. Mickey Mouse left his home around 7:30 pm stated his newly widowed wife, Minnie, saying he went in the direction of Donald's home after a brief argument with her. "He kept screeching in that already high-pitched voice, asking where all of these nephews where coming from. As if I know!" Before she, too, started to cry in that horrendously screechy tone of hers. No more information could/can be taken from her at this time.
Daisy Duck, Minnie Mouse's best friend and loyal girlfriend to the late Donald Duck took things more in stride as she tried to seduce our interrogators in her 'drunken' state.
A little later at the Coroner, black hair not belonging to the mouse was found in Mickey's gloves. Large bruises were found also underneath his black fur and Donald's white feathers, especially around the necks. Further investigation showed their windpipes completely crushed by large and powerful hands.
When our interrogators asked why Goofy, the only witness there didn't call the police or 911, he replied, "Gosh!" while furiously rubbing his slightly burnt gloved hands together causing a small down feather to float off. He continued to repeat to himself about 'Not getting enough screen time' till his lawyer came in to clear things up. And by clearing things up I mean, "My client will not speak to you at this time." The down feather was later collected and bagged.
The neighborhood watch in Mouseton is considered one of the lowest. Everyone's windows if they weren't open already are left unlatched. Someone seems to have keys to everyone else's house. Not that keys were necessary because no one locks their doors. Bystanders excuse this behavior saying that they need to keep themselves open for the Acme Cleaning Crew because when they come in, they know they have 30 minutes before screen time. When asking if Goofy had any screen time recently, some said he hadn't had screen time in months while one extravagant Goofy fan mentioned he had a recording in his house yesterday afternoon but quickly adds, "He didn't do it!"
Even later, the labs identified the long hair as belonging to a really tall anthropomorphic dog.
"You've got to be kidding me." My partner stares.