TOUCH

It had been a bad one, almost as bad as the Tobias Henkel case, except they knew deep down that it was nothing close to what that had been. Yes Reid had been used as bait but it was willingly this time instead of a kidnapping. He had also been near Hotch the whole time and though the team knew that their leader wouldn't let anything happen to the young genius they couldn't shake the disquiet in their souls. For Hotch it was worse, so much worse. Watching Spencer walk into that house had brought out every protective instinct in his body and it had taken all he had not to drag him away from the unsub and lock him in one of the SUVs. The urge to cry when Spencer walked back out looking shaken and on the verge of breaking was overwhelming, as was the urge to wrap Spencer in his arms and hold him there for a very, very long time. It was something he had to come to accept a while ago, the burning need he had to be near his youngest team member. It was also something he had fought for even longer. But the look of sadness on Spencer's face as he looked up at Hotch and shook his head had very nearly sent him over the edge. He forced it down and instead let Morgan and J.J wrap Spencer in their arms and lead him away from the scene. It wasn't the first time Spencer had killed some, but it was the first time it had been this bad. Ryan Sullivan was like Reid a certified genius, he was also as socially awkward as the profiler. There were other resemblances there, the single mother who was sick, the same quiet, calm way of laying out facts that would have anyone else rushing to find something to throw up in. He knew how bad this was going to be, the fall out from Ryan Sullivan's death would be disastrous but he also knew that the man who had just put the bullet in his head needed him more. Leaving Rossi and Blake to handle the local police he makes his way over to the SUV. Spencer was huddled in the back seat his long legs drawn up so that his head and arms rest on his knees.

"We can't get him to stop crying" Morgan says softly as Hotch reaches them. The older man just nods once before stepping around the pair and crouching down so he is at Spencer's level.

"Reid, what do you need?" Hotch asks the crying man keeping his voice low and as even as possible. Spencer mumbles something and Hotch makes out the word 'Shower' but only just. Turning to Morgan and J.J he tells them he will take Reid back to the motel if they can ride back to town with the local officers. Both agree without hesitation, darting scared looks at their still crying friend before exchanging looks of grim determination with Hotch. They didn't have to say what they were thinking, it was just understood. They were not going to leave Spencer alone for a long time after this. It would drive the younger agent mad but that was the price that needed to be paid for risking himself tonight. It was never said aloud but Reid was the glue that held their team together. If there was no Reid there was no team, it was that simple.

Walking around to the driver's side Hotch forces himself to stay calm, getting angry would not help Spencer when he was like this. He doesn't speak the entire way back to the motel and it isn't till he has Spencer back in the room that he was finally able to force the words out.

Propping the younger man up against the bed head he sat down beside him and looked over him. Physically Spencer was fine, his long gangly limbs were fine, his pale drawn face, fine. His clothes were even unrumpled. It was the look of utter despair and yes, that was anger on his face that made Hotch scared. With out thinking about it at all he brushes the hair out of Reid's face and winces when he pulls away.

Stiffling a sigh Hotch searches the brunettes eyes for any sign that he recognises him. When the look of fear abates Hotch tries again, this time resting his hand on Spencer's arm and keeping his eyes trained on the scared mans.

"Spencer, it was unavoidable. He had a gun on you and a bomb in his hand. it was kill or be killed along with Marisol Sullivan and her son. You saved three lives tonight, that is something to be proud of." His voice is barely stable and it is only by sheer force of will and years of schooling himself in the art of keeping his emotions under wraps that his voice doesn,t break.

"I should be proud of taking a mans life?" Reid glares at him and Hotch realises too late what he had just said and shakes his head violently.

"No, but the fact that two people are here because of you, that is something to be proud of Spencer. That is something I and every other person out at that house tonight is proud of you for." It was a speech he meant, even of it was out of character.

Spencer stares at the man in confusion and just for a moment the rush of affection Hotch has for the young genius is so overwhelming that his cool façade slips.

A look of pure wonder dawns on Reid's face, his eyes going wide and color staining his cheeks.

instantly Hotch pulls himself together but it is too late. There was the reason his team solved nearly all of their cases. They were the best, and Reid was the best of the best. He had seen the look of pained longing on his bosses face and instantly the last two years became so much clearer. The way Hotch held his gaze across the bull pen, the mans fluctuating moods that only happened around Spencer. It all became so damn obvious that he was trying to figure out how he hadn't seen it before now. Aaron Hotchner was in love with him. That look said more than any words the older man could have used to express his emotions and every supressed desire Spencer had came rushing to the surface. Every daydream about confessing his feelings, of them possibly returned flooded his mind and he reacted without thinking.

Leaning across the small space between them Spencer placed his hands on either side of Hotch's face and ever so slowly, excruciatingly so brushed his lips across the other mans.

For Hotch it was as if the room had vanished the moment their skin made contact. The kiss was brief, chaste and intoxicating but it was also very wrong. Not because he didn't want it, dear god did he want it but he also knew that Spencer wasn't ready for this, not now.

Wrapping his own hands through his friends Hotch leans back, and lays their clasped hands between them, not quite willing to let go, appearances be damned.

"Later" He tells the other man, even as hurt enters Spencer's eyes.

"Later?"

Hotch wishes he could hit himself upside the head. Spencer Reid had abandonment issues and this was just feeding them.

"I'm not saying no Spencer, it isn't the right time. But I'm not saying no" The mask Hotch usually wore had slipped entirely, and he knew there was no way he was going to be able to stay away from his counterpart any longer, Spencer Reid was his drug of choice, and after just one touch of those soft, warm lips on his Hotch was addicted.