Painful Concert Prep Days.
Disclaimer: I don't own the tune to the song "12 days of Christmas" and KISS is a real band. So don't sue me. Get it, got it, GOOD!
Day one of the concert is such a pain because...
"I can't find my makeup!" Gene Simmons snarled while walking around trying to find his make up kit.
Day two of the concert is such a pain because...
"I broke a f**king string!" Paul Stanley griped while trying to restring his silver, sparkled guitar.
And...
"Where's that damned kit?!" Gene shouted while searching the bathroom for what seemed to be a sixth time now.
Day three of the concert is such a pain because...
"My boots are dirty," Peter Criss moaned while trying to clean his boots after trekking through a mud puddle while coming into the arena.
"Damn it, another one?!" Paul shrieked after another guitar string snapped.
And...
"Where the f**k is...OW!" Gene roared while he looked under the the coffee table and wound up hitting his head trying to crawl back out.
Day four of the concert is such a pain because...
"I don't feel good." Ace Frehley moaned after he put his third and a half beer can down.
"I knew I should've brought back up boots." Peter griped while he took a fifth wash rag to his dirty boots.
"Argh! Now my strap broke!" Paul growled while he threw his black strap in the trash and replaced it with a red one.
And...
"I'm checking the bus..." Gene sighed as he grabbed an umbrella and hiked outside.
Day five of the concert is such a pain because...
"Where's my tye-dye shirt?" Vinnie Vincent asked while frantically searching for his lucky shirt.
"My head hurts," griped Ace while he downed another can and reached for yet another one.
"This is gonna take Forever," Peter moaned as he was still trying to clean his dirty boots.
"Why's my amplifier not working now?!" Paul seethed while finding out his amp wouldn't work (when it was only unplugged).
And...
"Well, it's not on the bus," moaned Gene while he shook his hair to dry it up from the rain a little.
Day six of the concert is such a pain...
"How'd my drumsticks get into Vinnie's duffle bag?" Eric Carr asked when he saw his sticks in Vinnie's bag.
"Where's that damn shirt!" Vinnie shouted after throwing his bag on to the floor, unaware of Eric's
drumsticks.
"Clear the way!" Ace yelled as he went flying into the bathroom and threw up all the beer he drank.
"Anyone got any boot polish?" Peter asked now that his boots were clean enough to the point he could put some polish on them.
"Work you stupid thing..." Paul growled while he hit his unplugged amp to try and make it work.
And...
"I already looked here!" Gene roared after searching the bathroom again.
Day seven of the concert is such a pain because...
"I don't remember my solo." Mark St. John moaned while he tried to remember how to play his line in "Heaven's on Fire."
"How'd my fur cape get into Paul's stuff?" Carr asked when he saw part of his costume in Paul's suitcase after he freed his drumsticks from Vinnie's mess.
"I still can't find that shirt!" Vinnie seethed while he searched the bathroom in hopes of finding his shirt.
"Who has a phone, I need food." Ace said, after realizing that drinking made him hungry.
"Who's got some steel-wool?" Peter asked before he put the polish on.
"I need new equipment." griped Paul while he tried to turn on the amplifier.
And...
"I still can't find my makeup." Gene seethed while throwing himself down in a chair in frustration.
Day eight of the concert is such a pain because...
"Relationships friggin' suck." Bruce Kulick moaned after he got off the phone with his girlfriend who wouldn't stop calling him while he was waiting to get onstage.
"I don't know how to play this!" St. John griped after reading the chords to "Reason to Live".
"Gene, why are you wearing my boots?" Carr asked his band mate, which caused Gene to face-palm himself then hand the boots back to Eric and put his on.
"It didn't just sprout legs and walk away!" roared Vinnie while he threw stuff around wildly still looking for that tye-dye shirt.
"Look, it's rock and roll!" Ace shouted randomly, while waiting for someone to answer. (Don't get this joke? Look up "Ace Frehley Drunk" on YouTube)
"Now why are they falling apart?!" yelled Peter after he took the steel wool to his leather boots.
"Anyone got an extra amp I can use," Paul asked which caused him to get either a head shake or a "no sorry' from the guys.
And...
"Now if I were a makeup kit, and someone moved me, where would I be?" muttered Gene while he paced the room while everyone was staring.
Day nine of the concert is such a pain because...
"Ow, drumsticks hurt." Eric Singer said, when he tossed one drumstick into the air and got hit with it.
"Anyone know how to block a number?" Bruce asked after he pressed the 'ignore' button on his phone.
"You guys expect me to play this?!" Mark cried, when he saw the chords to "God of Thunder".
"Hmm, Paul, I don't think your hair is supposed to be flat." Eric Carr pointed out as he saw Paul's hair go from wild and crazy, to flat and needing fixed.
"That's it! I have had it trying to find this damn shirt!" Vinnie screamed after hitting a wall.
"Food's coming!" Ace cheered, which caused him to get stares from everyone in the room as they watched him jump around like Daxter on a sugar rush. (For all you Jak and Dax fans out there.)
"Looks as though I'll have to wear my High-Tops." sighed Peter as he put his boots down and pulled on his sneakers.
"I don't think I can play now." Paul sighed as he put his guitar back in it's case, and put his head on his knees.
And...
"I haven't checked the bunk room in the bus." Gene remembered gratefully and rushed outside to check.
Day ten of the concert is such a pain because...
"How did my brand new Les Paul get broken... IN HALF?!" Roared Tommy Thayer as he strolled in from doing his make-up and picked his guitar.
"Okay, so where did that one stick go?" Eric Singer said, when he saw that the stick he threw was nowhere to be seen.
"Oh my God..." Bruce moaned after he pressed the 'ignore' button on his phone yet again.
"You guys really expect me to play this?!" Mark griped , when he saw the chords to "Tears are Falling".
"Hmm, Ace, I don't think you're in condition to play." Eric Carr said as he watched Ace stumble around the room.
"There's NO WAY I'm gonna play without my lucky shirt!" Vinnie shouted after sitting roughly in a chair.
"Let's get a drink." Ace said, which caused the guys to start thinking about not letting Ace play until he sobers up some.
"Man, I put two different colored sneaks on..." Peter moaned as he put his shoes on and saw they were blue and green.
"I don't think there'll be a concert tonight gents." Paul sighed as he sat on the opposite side of Vinnie, but not next to him.
And...
Well, let's just say Gene's not back yet...
Day eleven of the concert is such a pain because...
"I'm not supposed to play with you guys am I?" Anthony Jude Pero said when he realized he was supposed to be playing with Kiss and not Twisted Sister.
"How am I supposed to fix this?!" growled Tommy as he tried to hold the neck in place but didn't succeed.
"Seriously where is that other stick?" Eric Singer said, trying to find the other drumstick and tripping over it from it being stuck in Paul's clothes.
"I said STOP CALLING!" Bruce shouted after hanging up on his girlfriend yet again
"I never played this song with you guys!" Mark griped , when he saw the chords to "Shandi".
"Gene's still not back yet?" Eric Carr asked as he turned to see that Gene hasn't come back in from the bus yet.
"I am gonna get super pissed." Vinnie shouted which made Paul snicker because Vinnie was already passed that point.
"Paul hand me a beer." Ace said to who he thought was Paul but was really Eric Singer.
"This frickin' sucks..." Peter said, after he put his other blue sneaker on.
"Is anybody listening to me?!." Paul shouted because he still felt out of place without his equipment working.
And...
"Our prayers have been answered!" Gene cried out after coming in with a girl and his makeup kit and sitting at a mirror.
Day twelve of the concert is a relief because...
"Hi guys, I'm Ace's sister Delilah." The girl who Gene brought in said.
"Pero, Twisted Sister is Playing after Kiss, so you are playing tonight." she told Anthony and getting a Thanks and hug.
"Tommy, I brought a back up Yamaha SG 1000 for you." she said handing Tommy the guitar and getting a huge smile in return.
"Singer I want you, when it's your turn to go on, hit those drums like a beast." she instructed and getting a nod.
"Bruce... I'll be your girlfriend so go out there when they call you and make me proud." she said while kissing him and making him blush.
"St. John just go out there and play the songs you did play with them." Delilah said which got her a "Can do."
"Carr, your stuff got moved around while the stage crews were bringing things in." She informed Eric and got a glad "Gee thanks for the help,".
"Ace, calm down on the beer and drink this," she told her brother while handing him a water bottle to help sober him up.
"Paul, you're amplifier was only unplugged, and you had you strings too tight." Lilah informed him while handing him a brand-new Gibson as a back up.
And...
"Now go out there and rock hard!" Delilah shouted which caused all the men to shout and cheer with pride.
Note from the author: This was rated T for profanity. And for all you Kiss fans out there, I hope this doesn't offend you in any way. I hope you enjoyed this. If you want me to write more stories with Kiss let me know. THANKS Y'ALL!