I'm an Alien

A/N: This was supposed to be a crack fic for you, Rainey, but seeing as how you gave me free reign to do what I want, you're getting something "serious." HA! I'm not sure about the timing of when this happens, but it's after the preliminaries and before the tournament in the Chûnin Exams.

-----------------------------------------------------

He made his way home, saddened by the closing of the Ramen shop for the holiday. Uzumaki Naruto had never really been one for holidays. That was something that families did. The genin had tried to convince Sakura to come to the festival with him, but she was going to visit Lee. And he'd even considered asking Sasuke to come before remembering that his rival was out training with Kakashi-sensei.

Naruto half heartedly kicked a stone as he thought about his own recent change in sensei, Jiraiya the "Toad (a.k.a. Pervy) Sage." Sure, the old man was strong and had taught him how to summon those weird frog things, but since throwing the boy off a cliff, he hadn't been seen. That left Naruto by himself. And Naruto by himself was a bad thing. Or, at least, it was before he had friends. He would graffiti the backside of some enormous woman or blow up an okonomiyaki stall out of boredom. Now, though, he felt that he was too grown up for something like that.

Then something hit him right between the eyes. The Shinobi rubbed the sore spot. At his feet was the rock he had just set flying.

"You might want to watch your aim. That thing would've hit me if I hadn't caught it first."

His blue eyes found themselves looking at a blonde girl, a slightly older blonde girl, with a large… thing… on her back. She had her hair pulled back into four ponytails that stuck out in odd directions. Her body had curves that Sakura could only dream of. He couldn't help but think he'd see her somewhere before.

"What are you looking at?" the strangely familiar girl asked the gawking boy.

"Um… I think I know you," he said lamely with an outstretch index finger pointed in her direction. She huffed in annoyance and crossed her arms over her chest.

"The name's Temari. I'm one of the Sand genin competing in the Chûnin exam. And you're one of those annoying Leaf Shinobi, aren't you?"

Ignoring her question entirely, Naruto's eyes widened with excitement. "Oh yeah! You're with the guy that wears eyeliner!" he shouted the last word emphatically.

Temari sniffed indignantly. She rolled her eyes toward the heavens. "Why is it always Gaara that everyone remembers? Annoying little psychopathic punk…"

Naruto missed her mumbled last words but she brushed him off. She started to walk away, but he followed, peppering her with questions about the boy Sasuke would face in the finals.

"Go away." Temari flicked an invisible piece of dirt from her shoulder and eyed Naruto cautiously. "Why are you bugging me, anyway? Shouldn't you be off bugging that boyfriend of yours? What was his name? Sasuke?"

Dust rose into the air as the blond boy stamped his feet angrily. "Sasuke is NOT my BOYFRIEND!" he shouted angrily, drawing the attention of some of the nearby people enjoying the festival. "I don't care about that jerk at all!"

"You sure are getting upset over someone you don't care about," she teased with a chuckle. "Personally, I'd take the little hottie in a heartbeat."

Why was it always about Sasuke? Naruto pouted and turned his back on the girl who began to openly laugh. He turned back to her curiously and she was bent over, holding her stomach.

"You're funny," she told him needlessly. "I like that."

Where had he heard that before? Brushing the question from his mind, Naruto informed her that he was a serious Shinobi, not some joke.

She then eased up on the laughter, but her lips twitched a little before she could speak. "So, 'Mr. Serious Shinobi,' what's your name?"

"Uzumaki Naruto. I'm the next Hokage!" he bragged with a thump on his chest.

Temari giggled again before taking a step in his direction. She put a hand on his shoulder and leaned in until her lips were touching his ear. It tickled rather pleasantly. "Hokage, huh? Well, I'm an alien."

She laughed after whispering that in his ear. Then the two strangers continued to walk down the street. For a few moments, neither one said anything.

"Are you really an alien?" Naruto asked cautiously as they watched a little boy run from an ice cream vendor to his mother, a cone of vanilla in one hand and strawberry in the other.

"Nope," she answered with a smile as she approached the vendor with a keen eye.

"I didn't think so," the boy confessed as he put his hands behind his head. "Aliens are supposed to be big, scary things with hundreds of teeth and no eyes. You're too plain for that."

She huffed in annoyance again as she handed the vendor some money. He pulled out a cone, scooped out some chocolate ice cream, and put it in the pointed sugar waffle before handing it to Temari and preparing another. After taking the second from the man, she turned back to Naruto with a less than happy face. "Did you just call me plain?"

Naruto watched I horror as she began to turn one of the cones over, the ice cream threatening to spill out and onto the hot ground.

"I didn't mean it like that! You're pretty! Really pretty!" the boy shouted in hopes that it would keep the ice cream safe.

"Gorgeous?" she asked, turning the frozen treat just a little more. It had already begun to melt and the chocolate was spreading onto her hand as she took a healthy lick from the cone in her other.

"YES!" he cried. Then he found the ice cream had been up-righted and thrust into his own hand. Temari then began to clean her hand with her tongue, unaware of the fact that Naruto was once again staring at her. Eventually, he focused on the ice cream, where his attention should have been all along.

They walked some more, watching the happy people around them. Naruto realized that he was smiling like those people, instead of moping over Sakura and Sasuke. He was enjoying this girl's company.

"So, are you going to be in the finals of the Chûnin exam?" Naruto asked innocently, earning a momentary glare from the girl.

"Yes. I'm up against either this guy from the Sound Village, or some dope named Shikamaru. They're having some sort of extra match to see who faces me." She looked a little confused by the statement, but shrugged.

Naruto wanted to point out that, in all likelihood, the Sound ninja would beat the lazy Shikamaru, but he didn't want to think of Dosu winning.

They then steered away from the topic of the finals, instead eating their ice creams in silence. Mostly they watched the passersby, but on occasion Naruto would catch her eyeing him, and she would find him doing the same.

"You know, it's getting kind of late," Temari mentioned as she pointed at the setting sun. "I'm going to have to get up early for training. I had fun today, though."

"So I'll see you again?" Naruto asked nervously as he looked at the last bite of his cone. He had been enjoying himself so much. He didn't want it to end.

"Of course," Temari grinned as she finished her cone and licked the last of the ice cream from her fingertips. "You'll get to watch me own absolutely everyone in the finals."

"Not if I win them!" he boasted.

"Right." Temari laughed stood in front of Naruto. Then she leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. "You're a sweet kid, Naruto, but you'll never be able to beat me."

Then she ran off, not even bothering to look back. He watch her go, a smile playing at his lips at he popped the last of his own ice cream into his mouth. The genin looked up at the skyline and saw that it really was later than he'd thought. If he wanted to beat Hyuuga Neji, the he'd best get some rest before training the next morning.